do good

since last night.. been reflecting on this thought..

to suffer to do good is okey.. pleases GOD.

until this morning.. some of the chapter i reflected in the Bible is all about suffering for the name of Christ

James 5:7-12

1 Peter 4:12-19

Romans 8:18-27

younger brother in Christ

again my love life dilemma, this younger brother in Christ keep showing his intention to me, keep inviting me out, and wanting to visit me at my house, words.. words and actions... well indeed he is doing what a man should be, but then again he is way 6 years younger than me, he once told me nothing is impossible and age doesn't matter, he said look at ahia harg and achi jerilyn, yeah i agree, but what's bothering me is that he is too focused on me, im not sure if his knowledge of the Lord and the words is in his heart or just knowledge. also, is he ready? ready for marriage life? since i am..may GOD give me wisdom, many temptation... my best friend told me, is he serious? as in as serious as i am... oh well, very promising love from these guys, but... everytime i'll pray to GOD, it is all temptation... GOD help me discern, may Jesus lead me and guide me in all times.

mt. pinatubo

someone asked me out to mt. pinatubo...

this guy is from another church...

yesterday my best friend told me to stop entertaining guys, because they give me headache.

yesterday this guy asked me, told him.. lets see..

today.. he emailed me pictures of mt. pinatubo adventures...

i answered him, no... that I am not coming and joining his invite..

lets see his next move...

how hard it is to be me... what a lovelife i have.. this ain't easy...but still thank GOD after praying GOD is giving me wisdom to discern...

rat

last last sunday.. i felt like a rat, being trapped.

i got a friend who i loved before... but things didn't worked out.
he mistreated me, he is so mean to me, he didn't love me, he didn't appreciate me, he is always angry at me, he always says not good things to me. he hurt me.
now, he is at chase of me for two years..

i can say, he have regrets, but he mistakenly interpreted that regret for love..

its like he just lost a diamond, and now he was trying his best to get it back again..

i kept telling him that sometimes we have to accept the past, that some things are over. the lesson there is.. while the person is still there, show them you love them, value them and treasure them.

anyway this is what he did last last sunday, he trickily planned for a date. he invited a couple and me..
at first i can feel that there's a plan going on.. but since i love the singer on that concert, i confirmed..
i appreciate the effort of his plan, that is why i also give chance to check him..

but all i can say, all he did turns me off..

why?

1st.. its a trap.. a double date.. and i hate it.. i felt like a rat in what he did..

2nd.. he seemed to talked to other guys that he had this plan and give way for him

3rd.. he lie to me

4th.. he is not a total gentleman

5th.. he is not a real man to me, and not a strong man for me and not an ideal..total failure..

all he did is not love.. its not out of love..

okey.. after discerning, got the answer.. now i have decided.. he is out of the list..

i didn't tell him anything because i don't want to hurt him, i just acted, after all action speaks louder than words. i started to ignore him and not mind him. end of the story.

tho this guy, his family likes me, and my family likes him, but again, i cannot teach my heart, my heart beats only to one person, and GOD is in control of it.

i only see this brother of mine as a brother, i love him as my brother. no more no less.

meet ... meet ...

there is this guy who loves me so, he almost got it all, all the qualifications of a guy that i want and i've been wanting.
i like him, but never did i love him and i know that i can drop him anytime.

i love someone and simply i can't replace who i love, i just repeatedly go back to the one i love.

truly it is hard to teach one's heart. but like what i've said the love that i have is from GOD.

last saturday, an unsched event took place. i met the parents and some relatives.

i know his motives.
tho he haven't said anything. that is one super i don't like thing, the no words thing.

i know how to check a person and how to look at a person's heart. so i did to his family.
i find his dad nice and his mom so strong and a "matapobre".

that saturday night, when i got home, my mind is out of peace.
i know someday i will have problem with the mom. even that this guy is super okey.

also right now this guy, i can say that this guy don't really know me yet.

1st i don't love him for me to love the one he loves.
2nd i don't love him for me to bear with what i am foreseeing with his family in the future.

3rd i don't love him for me to foresee myself being with him in the future.
simply, i just don't love him.

sunday morning... pray and discern...pray and discern...

talked to 2 sister in church, shared my dilemma...

the older sister is married and sharing to me her hardship with her mother in law..

then im still not in peace..
our youngro group fellowship had a lazertag game yesterday..

i didn't join, instead i went to my best friend's house..

told her what happened... and when her husband came home, our favorite topic my lovelife..

her husband kept telling me not on this guy, he just opened up, he kept telling many things about that guy.. just the same point i was thinking that i shared to my best friend earlier when he still haven't arrived.

and i thank GOD, HE gave me an answer and Jesus lead me.. lead me to know the right things to know to discern.. after i have decided no to this guy, tho i like him so. after that i have peace.

then again, my heart is back to the one i love.. i decided to wait.. ^_^

soon

few days, few weeks, I will soon know who... excited! ^_^

peace

.. last week.. i had a storm in life.. but since I am with Jesus on this voyage, I am in total peace, because I trust..

Romans 5:1-11 ... what a peace and joy we have with Jesus..

my GOD holds my future, HE is in control, HE has a great plan for me, Jeremiah 29:11
and I have a good perfect leader my Brother Lord and Savior Jesus who is leading me step by step... no worries, no anxious hehe

a friend told me, once you have this great relationship with GOD through Jesus, you will know HIS will... ^_^

I am walking step by step... as Jesus leads me...

this world, ain't perfect, people will try to hurt us, but one thing the Bible teaches us, that we are no better than anypne in this fallen world, that we are all sinners, and we need to be holy, strive for righteousness and walk His walk. 1 Peter 1:13-25

whatever circumstance, specially if we have comments regarding other people even if we are right and we tell the truth, that they are bad or have hurt us, still we have to keep quiet, hold our tongue. James 3:1-12, and we still should show them true love and kindness. 2Peter 1:3-11, 1 Corinthians 13, Romans 12:9-21

1 John 2:15-17 Do not love the World, loving the world is like having an idol in our hearts, loving a person too much is like having an idol, loving money is also an idol, everything that is here on Earth is the world, part of the world, and fallen. so we repeatedly have to look up and focus on GOD and believe that by following Jesus is enough.

awaken

daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you: Do not awaken love until it is so desires. Solomon 8:4

last night been thinking of this verse, again this morning, thought of it again, it is true, before I don't have the desire to be in a relationship, ot to commit, not ready then, now, I am ready.. I am ready..

before when I am not yet ready, I ran away with love..

now I am ready, I am looking for love..

hehehe excited.!

chance

i want to be mad, because i have given all the chance.

failure to wait

1 Corinthians 13

What is true love?
true love is Jesus, what He did..
true love is the Bible.

true love don't have expiration date.

true love waits, and know how to wait.

don't run

this is what GOD said.. don't run.....

whatever happens... rely on HIM...

Be still and know that HE is GOD.

true love never expires, it is a gift from GOD, it never fails. 1 Cor 13

tonight i wanna run

tonight been tough.. its like an acceptance.

I am walking away.. and will eventually run away..

that nobody can ever chase me.

because I don't wanna be chased.

faithful to GOD

whatever happens mj, still be faithful to the service GOD have entrusted you.

I gave my words to GOD

Just now, a friend called, she had a fight with her brother. then our conversation lead to she telling me about the badminton game they had yesterday.

The person I love was there, he played with his crush, painful.

GOD, lead me, I can move on with any guy, I have guys in-lined (I am not being boastful, and YOU know that GOD.)

But, I have given YOU my words, that I will endure all the things I will see and hear.

Ahia Jon was right, he was right, when he said, leave him, if he really loves you, he will decide and fight for you. and the person I love never did. instead he is gone looking for another woman.

I don't know how I come to love this person this much, and it hurts.

I cannot entertain guys who like me then I will just leave them hurting. I have to be firm tho it hurts. Need to stand alone for awhile, I know how it feels to love and to be hurt, I cannot hurt others. Need to stand alone with GOD, with Jesus.

Endure mj. endure mj. wait for the right one, tho it hurts to see the one you love like that. endure. do what is right. when the right one comes, you will be happy. you will be glad. you will rejoice in the Lord and understand why all of this have to happen. and you will appreciate that person so much. just wait. never compromise mj tho it hurts. never compromise.

I will stand on the promises of GOD.

government law

if law can be bended and twisted, why bother make one...?

i have a client, he is having issues with his property title, i have gone to RD office and Court branch 4 to inquire and tell him the legal procedures, but he insisted that there can be other way, that his lawyer and cousin would have something in mind or idea or other procedure.

yesterday, I talked to the legal councils, they advice me that there is only this one legal way, government rules and law. I told that to my client awhile ago, after 2-3 hours he texted me that don't be assertive with what I know as brotherly advice.

I just told him, that is your opinion not mine, all I know I went to the legal government offices and inquired the government rules and law. I ended it telling him that whatever decision he will make I will respect, after all it is his not mine (property and decision) it is for GOD to judge not me, I did my part, that's all.

He seems not wanting to comply the law, sad. I felt little mad or irritated inside, you claim to be a Christian and many times it was said in the Bible to submit to authority.

Then this though came to me, government law and GOD's law. Possible GOD is so angry with us all not following HIS written law.

We are all sinner.. very bad. too bad.

in my anger

in my anger.... GOD, please be in control of me, may I be like Jesus, humble and in control, may the Holy Spirit intercede me, that I may not offend others in my anger, a pure and righteous heart is all I pray... lead me brother Jesus.

friend One: Im not comfortable with my friend... how come we are going out this sunday with other friend "couple", i just pray that this is not a set-up.. for 2 to 3 hours, I've been thinking... sorry is the only word I can tell him, past is past, I cannot bring my heart back to him, it is with someone else that I am also trying to get and give it to someone who deserves it. the thing is he is not the only guy in the world, there are a lot more to choose from :P hahaha that is my secret.. :D

friend Two: Im mad at this person, this someone, i see him so yuck, so pathetic, so immature, so hungry with woman lustful. I didn't pray for a guy like him. I don't want to be with someone like that for the rest of my life, I pray that he will soon realize everything, while my heart is still with him, because if I have it back and give it to someone new..sorry will be the word, i don't know how to go back, like to my friend number one. I have endured and waited, don't know until when. now slowly my heart is opening, not my doing, not my will, but his, because he kept hurting me.

friend Three: someone new, hmm i have someone new in my mind, he is around since 2009, met him 2008, he is a good leader, gentleman, he is tall, white, chubby and I can say that he is a good matured Christian (noy just by knowledge but also by actions).. he tried to come to me many times, i always block his way, he again come to me last monday, oh how stupid for me to realize everything last thurs, now I pray, may Jesus open doors for me and him again. I will give a chance if he will be aggressive enough to chase me, I am ready to leave the person I love, for he haven't proven me his love, all he did is prove me that he is capable of hurting me.

friend Four: someone new, hehehe he is new in our church, I know I have to put walls because he is still new, he may shake if me and him didn't work out, I have to make sure that his faith is true, real and strong, else GOD might strike me with lightning, I need to usher people to Christ not make them stumble. Oh well, I like this guy, his sense of humor and his smile, by time, in HIS time, lets see.. hehehe right now, im on guard on my and his heart, walls up.

Jesus, let GOD know, and I know YOU both know that I am ready and wanting to be married soon. as in soon.

one answer

let my yes be yes and my no be no

book of Jonah, my reflection

Jonah is the most stubborn prophet, but GOD is with him in his ministry.

When GOD talked to Jonah, Jonah stubbornly ran away from the will of GOD, he traveled to Tarshish down to Joppa and took a ship, maybe he was thinking that he can flee away from the will of GOD. Along the voyage he knew that GOD was angry and after him, that is why HE sent them storms and waves. He told the truth to the sailors, they asked Jonah what to do, they also tried to save the life of Jonah by rowing back but they ended up doing what Jonah said to them to threw him out of the sea, the sailors are pagans, they believed in many gods but at that time they feared the One true GOD and i guess they believed in HIM.

When he was threw to the sea, Jonah was swallowed by a big fish, i think its a whale, a sperm whale, inside the fish belly he prayed to GOD. i think part of his prayer meant that he will want to obey GOD, then HE order the fish to vomit Jonah to the dry land to fulfill the will.

Jonah traveled 3 days to reach the place called Nineveh, and preach the message of the One true GOD, the King and the people believed him and they fast to repent.

Jonah obeyed GOD and so effective, for GOD is with him, but he was angry about it, he cried in anger and wanted GOD to take ways his life and that it is better for him to die than live, he don't want the Ninevites to get saved, he want them to perish yet GOD showed compassion and mercy to them for they showed fear toward HIM. GOD made Jonah realize that he has no right to be angry, for GOD is in control of everything and that everything is from HIM. in the end, i therefore conclude that the Ninevites are not so educated people.

so that is the book of Jonah, summarized with my own words, i felt like Jonah sometimes, I know the will of GOD, but I am trying to escape, for I am angry of the will, its making my life complicated, now.. what to do? I am really suffering and having a hard time fulfilling the will of GOD, I am trying to escape but GOD is not allowing me, He truly is in control, yet I am still unsure with HIS total will, all I need is to obey and not be angry, for whatever suffering I am into now, it is still under the will of GOD, from HIM and part of HIS will, to suffer is to fulfill, so be joyful.

Flesh, i hate you flesh. I love GOD more. Praise HIM. HE gave me you flesh, so if to deny you will bring HIM glory, so be it, to save my soul.
Jesus lead me please, for I do not know the plans has for me. I want to obey. so I will trust You.

too much pain

I am enduring... may Jesus not forsake me... may GOD hear my cry...

Book of James Chapter 5, my reflection

warning to rich oppressor... before I use to ask GOD why my family is not rich... now... I manage to thank GOD that my family is not rich, because it might add to my sin, it is possible that If I am rich, I'll be oppressing the poor and looking down at them.. atleast I have experienced nothing, I know the feeling of being oppressed... so I will not do that to others..

sad to say that many rich Christians do look down on the not so rich one... but not all.. tho they we're trying to portrait a good, kind and loving image towards the not so fortunate ones... oh yes, they do donate... they do give... but hey.. if marriage is the thing, they won't like their sons and daughters marry a partner that has no say in life, that has no high-status in life.. see? is it not like judging and oppressing too... specially rich chinese christians here in the Philippines.. sad but thats a fact...

just an hour ago, i was talking to a condo seller, she wants to sell their condo, their mom give this inheritance to their youngest brother, but the title was named to another brother, there's chaos among the siblings regarding this condo unit, if you are going to think of it. money is a small thing, 2M in amount, not worth it to ruin a sibling relationship. but hey, in this time right now, many worship money, it becomes so important to them.

Patience in suffering.. in the book of James also stated that we have to be patient in our suffering.. let us persevere for it is the will of GOD. be Christ like in all circumstance, walk His walk. hard, truly indeed hard, but that is the walk through righteousness. Job also persevere, everything was taken away from him, do you think the feeling is good? ofcorse no, he was put to great trial and suffered, but through patience he persevere and wait for the Lord, then he was blessed.
patience is one hard thing to do, but still one can by GOD's grace. patience is one of the gift of the Holy Spirit, and if we have love, we should have this.
I can say, the trial I had in life for the past 1.5 years is really too much to bear, but GOD and I knows that I have stood the test, for I have persevere, now I know and I can say to my self that my faith is stronger than before, GOD is merciful and amazing, yes indeed HE allowed me to be put to test, yet HE never forsaken me, HE wants to know that I am HIS, actually HE knows. HE just wanted me to know that I am truly HIS. you know what? I feel so happy, for I myself know that I have passed ^_^ thank GOD

now, if I say I have faith. I should pray. I should often talk to the One who I put my faith to. My GOD the father and through Jesus my brother HE will hear me.

so now if we are in any circumstance, we should pray and if we are happy we should sing song of praise to GOD. I like ^_^
let us also pray for others who are sick and sinning to our GOD. for the prayer of the righteous is powerful and effective.
sometimes I feel guilty because I often pray for myself, to my circumstance, i sometimes feel so selfish, but I do also pray for others sometimes specially if i remember them during the time I am praying and if they have prayer request.. and I know I truly know that GOD hears me because my Lord Jesus let HIM know my prayers.

another if we have brother and sister in Christ, who are struggling with their faith and slowly fading at church, we as a person who have faith in GOD should help them be pulled back. for our GOD will be pleased if we do that. pray for them so that their faith will also be strengthen.

I have a friends, who are the reason why I am here right now in UECM, where I have grown to mature in my faith, but through the trials they are having in life, the temptation... slowly they are fading away, so i know from the start that it is my duty to pulled them back and watch over them, for this will please my GOD the father and surely my brother Jesus would do the same and would want me to do the same. I will care for them like the way my GOD and my Brother Jesus cares for them ^_^ I will strive, I will fight my sinful nature and be full of love.

I've been reflecting the book of James last Dec, it just took me one month to write it. :P

emotional

last night i have failed to tame my tongue, i've gone too emotional..

i texted Ana.. many thing that I have been offended by Heuc..
i think it grows from the time he talked to me last Nov regarding someone...he have told me many hurtful things, yet i listen to him, just this January felt like he is only a friend of that someone and not me... then eventually i've become so sensitive with all he does, seems for me he always offend me... i think this is self pity.

Oh well I also texted Mars, asked her why she don't accept my ym request that was last Dec. pa... told her that if she has something against me, better not smile to me.. she replied humbly and told me she haven't received any request.. so this morning.. i just add her again..

texted also Jenny, told her another reason why I don't want to join Azcop is because it is really hard for me to drive all the way from Manila to UECGreenhills, that none from UECPhilippines and UECMalabon- my churchmates offered me a ride, tampo! sometimes it is not an advantage too if a woman drives, everyone thought you are okey with it, men thought they don't need to drive for you... hate it! I am a woman!! not supposed to be driving.

then I texted a qoute to people who I know are plastic to me, who hates me, who judge me, who back stab me while Im being very nice to them... you know even thou I know... I need to forgive them and be still humble to them... Natasha, Glenn, Patricia, Glenn, antie Delie- didnt text her... there are still others, failed to remember them last night.. this people just happened to hurt me, because I love them yet they are like them to me..

Oh well we cannot please anyone.. a long as I am pleasing GOD, Im fine. May I have a heart that always please GOD, sometimes I failed to be Christ like...I am not perfect, I am a sinner because with all the circumstance I am into... need to Pray more, be humble more.. be kind more, forgive unconditionally.. be Christlike...

i saw the devil

what a morning! what an experience!

i woke up 730 am... late... because last night i can't sleep... keep thinking of people, seeing things horizontally instead of vertically...

focus on GOD, focus on Jesus, not on the sinners..

i had a dream... the dream is fast.. can't remember all.. this is all i remember...

the train got wrong lane, instead of running on rails, it runs on road... the jeep or i don't know, something of the same kind also run wrong... instead of running the road, it runs on the hand rail.. so weird..

then im on an old house where there is a lake infront, someone is having a swim, then all other people went in the house, the one swimming is a dead person, then a kid just appear too.. swam with the person... then another person appear again on the left side.. they just came from underneath the lake.. they just pop out on that body of water then swim.. then a yellow green light appear.. its like a highlighter kinda light, like lazer beam.. then they disappear... in my dream it symbolizes that they are taken into the other world, they are dead people... beside the house there's a flatform..wooden flatform..

inside the house, a place where me and my family and some friends will sleep...
in my dreams, im acting like im scared.. im scared of ghost daw..

i asked my friend to accompany me to buy lip gloss... weird!

then go back to the house, i was having a problem how to sleep.. because i don't want to sleep near the flatform beside the lake.. while the other people im with, they don't ..

then i was about to get something on the 3rd floor... so i need to take the stairs..

im not sure why when im on the 2nd floor the room that was there was dark..
so i close my eyes while passing, because in my dream im scared to see a ghost..

then someone grab my right hand, actually my right wrist, the grab was grabbing me into the room, the force is strong... the force is strong...
im trying to grab my wrist back too.. and keep telling and menttioning GOD's name..
GOD loves me, I love GOD. GOD help me.
then a voice or a thought or a command or a realization in my thought to not be afraid, open your eyes and look at the ghost or the one grabbing my wrist..

slowly when I open my eyes in my dream while turning my head to the right.. i was also opening my eyes in real life, slowly iam opening my eyes actual and also turning my head to the left... when my eyes are half open...i saw! i saw! i know what i saw! i saw the enemy... i saw a devil... it was small.. not human size.. it is shadow.. black shadow...it have hornsbut small.. not sure if I saw a tail.. seems like in my limited memory.. yeah... there is... but im not sure... then when I totally opened my eyes and have turned my head to the right.. it was gone...

the first thing i did was call onto GOD again and thank HIM for being with me, then thought of why I didn't call on Jesus but GOD only, but since they are a triune GOD i think its okey, same GOD, One person. then this verse enters my mind, there is no fear in love, perfect love drives out fear... 1 John 4:18.. so a realization that we must not fear... for if we fear, the enemy will use that...
upon waking up...i paused for 10 minutes.. keep thinking... did I see it right? Is it real?
.. it is real.. i did see it right... then after I stand up and go to my mom and told her what happened... she told me because im very spiritual that is why... the enemy is trying to make fun of me... i think he is trying to shake me... but guess what... i would like to see him again and fight him, i don't fear him, no fear in me. im in total peace, i have Christ in me.

happy to know

this morning... iam so happy to know... i even cried knowing.. praise GOD indeed and thank You Jesus... all the glory to GOD. ^_^

my 8 ministry last 2011..
it represents 8 commitments, the 8 children I've been praying and wanting to have if I get married...
at first i was so eager to commit and serve, while time passes by... my ministry increases.. like having a children... my responsibilities piled up.. making it hard for me... just like a mother taking good care and being responsible of her children's growth... I can honestly say that I also fail to be responsible with some of my ministry for some time, in short "napabayaan" in a way... but by Jesus leading, He lead me to finish all the task, all the responsibility even if I am put to trial and hardship.. that's motherhood and being a wife, no matter how stressful the situation gets into your family, no matter how hard it could be, a godly mother never give up instead kneel and pray... call and ask GOD for wisdom and strength and ask Jesus for leading .. awesome ^_^

what I realize, that all this trials and sufferings are sacrifices and learnings, GOD and Jesus know that I have persevere until the end, and I know as They know that I have passed the test, now I can say I am ready.

now that I am ready, all I can do is continue to walk with GOD with the right and good attitude, pray and grow with His words, wait until the right one comes.

how will I know? I will just know... ^_^

endure, like Christ did

the past days, weeks, i repeatedly keep telling God and Jesus that whatever the circumstance, whatever I will see or know I will just endure the pain..

whatever this guy will do... selfishly, tempted or out of anger... I will endure..
whatever these women will do... Even I see their schemes... I will endure..
whatever people will see me... judge me, gossip me and tell me... I will endure..
whatever life circumstance gives me... wicked, wrong or bad... I will endure..

I will close my lips, tho they accuse me.. tho I really know the truth..
I will be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry..

for I want to honor GOD, and Jesus hands leading and work even if it means giving my heart,
for I want HIM to fulfill what HE has planned for HIS glory because I am an instrument,

for I want to show Jesus Christ that He won't fail for leading me that I will be able to walk His walk,

for I have prayed to God that I will keep my heart as kind and humble as possible..
I will be Christ like.

One day, I will see how the hands of GOD work and how HE will be glorified for HIS plans.

My Redeemer lives - Nicole Mullen
You are my hiding place - Selah
From heaven You came.

Book of James Chapter 4, my reflection

submit! submit! submit! is the word i always hear... wives.. you have to submit to your husband...

early in life, in days of my younger years, it is really hard for me to submit... but now that I am a new creation.. it ain't...

the book of James Chapter 4 introduction is.. "What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don't they come from your desires that battle within you?" now i asked myself.. am I into a fight? .. Im not.. never did I want to be involve in a chaos, fight or quarrel, for I cannot stand such. but I am involve in a battle, battle of hearts, they all have the same desire as I have, I don't want to battle, but these women, they put me in and I am walking away of it... I believe, if GOD gave me something, I don't need to be fighting for it to have it.. If it's mine, it will be mine, if it's not, it will not be.

I have just finished praying, I've been praying to Jesus for this someone, I then ask Jesus, did my heart asked with a wrong motive? the reason why I am not getting it..

One thing I can say.. I am not a friend of this world, I love the eternal things more than the things this world could offer... even the person that I desire, I can leave him for Jesus. The past days, my focus is on Jesus, Jesus! the Lord and Savior of my life, the perfecter of my faith, my brother whom I love most, and I am looking forward for the royal wedding that I'll have in heaven.

That royal wedding in heaven, is the only wedding I can see in my life as of now. All man here on earth did not passed the standard that Jesus and I have set to be my groom. why is that no one, no one is like Christ here on earth? or am I having forgiveness problem? am I too self righteous?
everyday, i want to be and trying to be Holy. but yet, i can't, for no one is righteous, so I will just try to sin-less. and focus more of Jesus and go back to Him repeatedly whatever the circumstance.

I don't need a big house, I don't need money, I don't need a grand wedding, all I want is to be with the one my heart desire. I just want to spend the rest of my life with him.

"GOD opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble." - Am I proud? yea I am , human fallen nature, but I have to keep praying to have a humble heart in all circumstance, because that's all I can do. this is grace from the Lord.

submit then yourself to God, resist the devil and he will flee from you. - this is what I am doing... I am resisting all the devil and evil in my life, for my goal is eternal , to live a holy life with my Lord and my GOD. I am lifted up by God, because I cry to Him and humbled myself to Him. Hope I am not acting hypocrite to Jesus, He knows my heart, He knows that it is true and pure.

may Jesus and GOD forgive me If I speak against my brothers and sisters, If I have judge them, that is why I am shutting / taming my tongue so that I will not sin, having a full control over it through my heart, as bok su said, it is not the mouth/ tongue I need to guard, but my heart, for what my heart is my tongue speak. so I am keeping a pure heart, a holy heart. HE lives in me.

tomorrow? did I boast about it? what can I say about it? ... as of now, I have nothing to boast and be sure of about tomorrow, for Jesus and my GOD the Father only knows what my tomorrow will come. I am clueless, that is why I am in full submission of Their authority so that I will be able to walk the path that GOD wants me to walk, so that Jesus will continue to lead me where GOD's will is.



everyday this last verse comes into my mind..
"If anyone, then, knows the good they ought to do and doesn't do it, it is sin for them."
- everyday, i have to do good, discern, so that I won't sin. for I know what is good and not good, since then I know, I must do. I must do what is good, to please My Lord and My GOD.

Heaven! my life focus! to be in heaven! soon and very soon.

sometimes I just tell God to take my life.. like Elijah and some prophet and great known people in the Bible said, because living here on earth fulfilling His will is hard, full of suffering..persecution.. and judgement. hard.

walking away

hopefully today, i will be able to walk away...

looking forward to heaven..

looking forward to our Lord, My Jesus... i want to see Him... been waiting for Him... He is my heart's desire...

Dream: A Royal Wedding in Heaven!

one thing im happy of.. i have proven that this earthly human christian professing being don't love me... fine with me... move on...

King Saul or King David

which is which? who am I?

Bok su said I am like David, but why this morning.. I felt like Saul?

lasy sunday.. bok su preach about 1 Samuel 1:1

He talked about King Saul and King David, He said King Saul is the 1st appointed King by GOD, 1st chosen King.. but Saul was full of jealousy inside his heart that made him fall, he did many foolish things. while David, out of all courage succeeded, because he relied on GOD, for GOD is always with him. Saul, seek mediums and never trusted Samuel, while David prayed and relied on GOD, that is why GOD is always with him.

I felt like Saul, because I was once defeated by jealousy. That i can see that the enemy had dug a hole for me to fall.

But I always see myself as David. I always relied on GOD, I can always say that GOD is with me. but like David, when the will of GOD got harder, I ran away. that what bok su told me.

its hard to live with a family who lives in sin

how hard it is for me to live with a family who is living in sin..

my dad, his god is his ancestor, he always blaspheme about the true real GOD, he blames GOD for all the hardship that life gave him, he never believe that Jesus can save him, when he opens his mouth no wisdom from GOD can be found. Even if he is an honest man, he is super not godly, he enjoys the pleasures this world has to offer. sinner.

my mom, she believes in Christ, she believes GOD, yet her heart still sins, she believes everything that sinner believe, she believes in fung sui, hororscope, in ancestral worship, with all the saints and statues the this fallen world has to offer, she lives in vanity and the sin of no contenment, she enjoys gossips, when she opens her mouth no wisdom from GOD can be found. Even if she is a patient and loving mom, i consider her not godly, for her heart sins.

my brother, who is a gay, never did I sees that he feared GOD, all i can see is that satan lives in him. all the time that he opens his mouth full of sins comes out. he always persecute me, he tries to question the Bible, he tries to bring all the past back and all the negatives past. he is a super sinner, even if he is my brother i can see no cure in him, and i think he deserves to be burn in hell. how bad for a sister to say that, but he makes my life difficult, sometimes i think he envies me a lot that he became who he is now.

my shobe, oh how I pray that she is truly saved, she made a testimony on her baptismal day, yet i can't see the trueness of it. she said that it is normal for christians to lie, so she don't bother, i told her she's not supposed to be like that, don't immitate other christians, we must be christ like, more holy.

it is really hard, few minutes before i typed this, i felt like i want to leave this family of mine behind, even if i love them, they are not holy, i want to live a holy life.

how i pray to be with someone who is truly holy. i want a holy life, honest, true and pure.

sometimes i pray to GOD to take my life away.

never cheat faith

if i have faith that can move mountain, what i believe will be..

if I said I have faith...

i must love..

i must walk by it..

i must have deeds..

let my yes be yes and my no be no..

I must prove.. never cheat faith..

I must not play like I am GOD..
I must resist the devil so that he will flee from me..

just simply have faith.. then obey..

if i said to you have faith, me too should have faith..

If I considered myself righteous or if I want to become righteous .. I must walk by faith.. for the righteous are considered to be walking by faith Romans 1:17

have faith mj.. walk mj.. little by little... until you get there.. you will get there.. have faith..

Trust and Obey mj, for there is no other way.. but to be happy with Jesus.

Matthew 17:20
James 2:14-17
1 Corinthians 13:2
Matthew 5:37
James 5:12
James 4:7

The Black Nazarene of Quiapo

Every year, every January 9^th of the year the “Black Nazarene of Quiapo” is being celebrated here in Philippines, considered as one of the spectacular events, many devotees / followers are going to Quiapo to walk and take part in the procession to celebrate as a sign of their faith and vow. This carved image is from Spain and brought here in the Philippines by the Spaniards at the year 1607, on the way here the ship caught fire burning this statue, thus this statue survived the fire and still in shape and never got burned only gotten black. Since then, the people who are weak in faith started worshipping this so called miraculous statue. They believed that this carved image is god, that it is from heaven and is powerful, for they believed that this image has bring their lives miracle, comfort, healing, 2^nd life, power and richness. When the procession starts, chaos starts, devotees on bare foot (as a sign of humbleness ) aggressively trying to come near and touch the statue or throw their handkerchiefs to the statue and have it back. (** humble and aggressive action hmm very contradicting..) Unconsciously for these devotees, every year a life is being taken away as a sacrifice with the way they worship the statue they call god.

Questions pop out on my mind.. Would a true real GOD like to take another more life as a sacrifice? Jesus already died for us, period. GOD is GOD, HE never changes HIS words.
Does our true real GOD wants chaos in worshipping HIM? I think HE is pleased with a more peaceful worship. Is being on barefoot is a sign of humbleness? I don’t think so, it is not written in the Bible.

And I tell you, isn’t it so clear in the Bible that we shall not bow down to any hand made carvings or any image made of woods or stones or any earthly material? (Exodus 20:4; Isaiah 44:9-12; Isaiah 37:19) it is written in the ten commandments, the law of Moses, which I believe that is also written in the Roman Catholic Churches Bible.

May GOD forgive all sinner. May their eyes be opened to the truth.

when I increase, im sinning

One reason why GOD wants me to tame my tongue is because many are stumbled. Many are shaken. Many has focused their eyes on me.

Some people admire me so much that they want to walk the walk I am walking, not bad.. but wait there's this gray area.. they are forgetting that MJ is only walking with GOD, the focus is shifted to me, I am becoming an idol of their lives, because they see me, they see my flesh and how my Father GOD is molding me and how my Brother Jesus is leading me, they see me as a model, not bad.. but I am sinning then because Jesus should be the model, Jesus should be the focus, we should all be Christ like, not MJ like.

I know it is not my intention to shift their focus yet it is because and through me, and now that I know about it, I can now say I am sinning, for with their mouth they knew GOD, they worship GOD, but inside their hearts there's envy and idolatry, they are sinning.

It is through me that these brother and sister's are stumbling, some ladies admire me, but later envy me that they unconsciously they becoming bad trying to beat me, by studying me and copying me. hey, I am not in a competition here. some brother's admire me, they see me as potentials, but with their admiration their heart sins, I am becoming an idol the focus of their attention, so they sin, but hey, I am not here to attract my brothers but instead together serve GOD and obey Jesus. Right now, I am on guard with my brothers, i cannot come near them.
If any of my brother and sister stumble because of me, GOD the Father will not pleased and will not be happy, and my Lord Jesus will not be glorified.

I consider myself sinning, tho it is not my sin. but since now that I am aware, I need to contribute to help Jesus to save them, by being still, to bring back their focus on GOD and not in me, that in whatever I do it will slipped up to GOD, it will point to GOD. I am no GOD, I am not GOD, and I can never be GOD, and I don't want to be GOD in other people lives. I am only a servant, a servant of GOD, at my humble state I am bowing to the One true GOD and to my One true Lord.

John 3:30
Isaiah 29:13

walking by sight

when one is walking by sight, one will have difficulty walking by faith.
the enemy lives in this world, the fallen world, he can twist reality to lie, he has the power to do so. but if one will walk blindly and put all the trust to the GOD our creator and to the Lord of this world Jesus who have overcome the enemy, one will be able to finish the walk.

personally, many times if I rely on my sight, I am shaken, even I already knowing the truth, so repeatedly I have to blind myself.. and follow.

have you imagined yourself walking blindfolded? or have you tried walking blindfolded?

it is really hard, right? we are always tempted to peek..
to walk only trusting the voice that tells us the next step sounds insane right..?
but what if the voice is from the Lord, the voice from Jesus may sounds like this "next step, one step to right, one step to the left, next 2 step"...then the enemy shouts "there's a hole" ... what would you do? would you still trust our Lord who gave up His life for you? would you still follow and do the steps? how obedient can you follow?
true it is really hard to trust, here in this secular world, we also have experienced to trust other and betrayed.. but what if it is the Lord our GOD we are trusting..?
that's the reality and the fact of this life, He just wants us to listen and faithfully obey, follow the instruction He is telling us. give Him the full trust He deserves. Jesus also know the will of GOD in our lives, that is why He is leading us to help us fulfill so that GOD will be glorified..

taming my own

i think GOD wants me to tame my tongue so that i could write more..

i don't have the gift of public speaking, neither writing.. but i can express my self through writing way of communication..

writing is my one way to express my love, emotions and thoughts.

i thank GOD, for HIS glory.

triune GOD

triune GOD. they are 3 with different roles, but they are 1 ^_^ Trinity.

GOD is GOD and I am not, GOD is the only GOD, apart from HIM there is no other GOD, GOD is the creator and the one who is in control over all, HE knew everything, the past, present and future. HE has a plan, great awesome plan for HIS glory.

Jesus is my Lord, my leader, my protector, my mediator and my brother here on Earth, He is sent by our Father for us.. truly for us.. it is true.. He is the Lord and Savior of my life.. i want to shout to the world that!

Holy Spirit is the one who is in control over me, He is from GOD, HE is all so pure and true, He gives me wisdom when I ask.. He is my conscience, the Father works through my life through Him.. Galatians 5:22-25

one could only know them truly and deeply when one have this true real relationship with them.. i just hope i can explain deeply and more precise who they are..

ow how true and real they are... how happy I am to experience and deeply know them three.. this morning, when the final knowledge of them enters my limited mind I can't help but write it immediately..

it is true.. the triune GOD is true, not just hearsay, not just knowledge but also by experience..they are alive in my life...

truly Jesus is the mediator we have with GOD, He is the way and the light.. apart from Him we are damn..

When we pray we can pray to GOD, for HE is our Father, but HE will not act tho HE listen unless we believe that Jesus is the One whom He sent to be the intercessor and savior.. we really have to repent first to Christ and ask for forgiveness, true repentance i can say comes with tears and an open heart, oh how big sin it could be if we neglect talking to Jesus and directly talk to our GOD the Father..

I have thought that without Jesus, we can no longer be able to talk to our GOD the Father, because we are truly are sinners. He truly died for us to save us so we can be re-united... Jesus is our brother.. listen! truly He is... He is our protector while GOD the Father is in control our creator.. while the Holy Spirit is the One the Father sent to be in Control over us..

what is Faith.. Faith is believing. have faith...

Book of James Chapter 3, my reflection

oh... how good it is for a man to control his tongue :P

right now i am enjoying taming my tongue and i thank GOD... im relaxing while im taming my tongue.. there are moments when i thought na why am i not like this a long time ago...but anyway GOD has HIS own time..

a tongue is small part in us that is so powerful, come to think of it...

words can cut like swords, it can bring people in chaos, it can ruin relationships, it can kill, and many more... but on the other hand... it can also heal, bring encouragement, protect and love...

no one can tame the tongue, it is a restless evil..
so it will always be how you will use your tongue..

the wise way to use the tongue is to use it bringing glory to GOD.. how?
once bok su told me, that it is not guarding the tongue.. its more of guarding the heart.. because what our heart is our mouth speak .. Luke 6:45 ; Proverbs 16:23; Matthew 12:34-35

regarding wisdom.. as i am taming my tongue as GOD wants me too... as i am observing as GOD wants me too.. i am seeing the two kinds of wisdom this book of James is referring to...
the earthly wisdom which is sinning wisdom, this wisdom can be seen as right or good, people can be deceive but looking at their heart this wisdom motives is not pure, their hearts are not right, they have envy and evil conceit.. oh how i love to give examples but i can't because there are people involve.. maybe on the next writing of mine, i can... but remember my girl friends who ain't true to me... the wisdom they are having are the wisdom i am seeing now in this example.. so earthly..so selfish.. but still, i forgive them .

the other wisdom that i am seeing is the one GOD gave me, so pure and true, so peace loving, considerate and submissive and sincere which i am having right now... i am thankful of GOD for enabling me.. i am not playing or acting self-righteous, but this characteristics are truly what i am feeling right now and burdened to pursue..

oh how love GOD and Jesus... last thursday i had this great talk with GOD the Father and Brother Jesus, my Lord.. they are in control, i love Them both ^_^

man

once bok su fooled me and pretended to be as Charleson at Ym,

he asked me... what's my standard for a guy?

I answered him, 1st Matured Christian 2nd should be a man 3rd etc.....

he said im wrong... i asked why?

he answered me.. 1st should be a man 2nd Christian...

that thought just stayed on my mind, never forgotten..

and now i know why.. and i understand why...

because a man, should know how to be a man so he can be a good Christian... as for me now i agree to have my standard 1st man 2nd christian... because no matter how matured christian a guy can be.. if he is not a man, not acting like a man, don't know how to be a man... everything will be pointless and can cause hardship for a woman... gets? understand? ^_^

i have love

..

i may not be intelligent..

i may not be beautiful..

i may not be tall..

i may not be talented..

i may not be musically inclined..

i may not be rich..

but i am happy..

because all i have is love..

i have love to give,

so much love to give,

love from GOD, from Jesus.

^_^

too much

everything i do.. i do it for GOD..

all the moves am taking.. i do it for GOD..

HE knows.. i know..

i know what i know.

to stay is suicide,

to stay is anxious,

it hurts, it hurts,

he never change,

he never grow,

but i need to cry alone.

endure, endure,

who knows the pain?

but me alone..

inside me, inside me,

HE has HIS time,

trust HIM, obey HIM

faith, walk it

HIS will, Thy will be done

I still believe

I still believe that when a guy loves a woman, he will run after her, fight for her, and die for her.

Jon –leave, make him decide and make him run after you if a guy loves you

Ken – leave, let all the guys have all the confusions, don’t think of them , let them think of you.. you are a single lady with high value

Ed – leave, the guy is a coward, he is a pain in the ass

Alex – leave, it is a guy nature to run after the woman we love

Heuc – leave, no reality

** left, let GOD decide ^_^

When GOD says let go and let me

When I am seeing GOD is at move last December, I am seeing HIS hand and HIS work, and I am seeing the work also of the enemy too.. ooopppssieesss…oh noh.. what’s this? what to do?
Im too sensitive that I am seeing both their works. But because I’m with GOD and HE is all sovereign powerful, and I am on HIS side and I am HIS and this is HIS will, I pause and pray. Then GOD gave me this answer, Be still ^_^ that moment, it is a moment that will give you a pause and give you the feeling of amazement with GOD. ^_^ part of me felt guilty, because there are moments when I am struggling when I keep asking GOD this “You said that this is Your will, I keep walking on it, I am suffering and felt like dying, and GOD You are doing nothing.” –bad child I can be..
Maybe in those time, many times GOD is telling me “My child, where is your faith in ME, have Faith, wait for MY time.”
kinda sound freaky right? But no! hehehe it is part of walking the will of GOD. Especially when you are too close to GOD, that you have this ow so close relationship with HIM, you will see all. oh well, who will believe. Anyway it is hard to explain in a way, so ill just leave it upto here. All I can say, GOD is in control, truly HE is ^_^

Book of James Chapter 2, my reflection

Okey im in James chapter 2.... favoritism… deep thinking… am I guilty of this?

actually this is what I thank GOD of… im the oppressed, the less fortunate one, so Im in my humble state of this… I know the feeling of how to be poor, that is one reason I don’t look down to those who are less fortunate than me, because it Is really painful to be looked down. When I was young, I always cry,cry to GOD and ask, why cry? Ask what? Why my relatives and neighbors are unfair, why do they looked down on me and my family, it is because we have less money than they do. We have nothing to offer. That is why I thank GOD, because I came from a low state, so I know how it feels, better to be like this. Through this I learned how to be humble and to pray.
** it is really hard to be poor or to be not rich, because we live in this secular world, where everything involves richness, richness is power in this world, so sad.

Okey next part… faith and deeds…

Hehehe if I said I have faith but did not walk by it, my faith is considered nothing / useless. When I say I believe GOD, and I believe all HIS promises and all HIS leading, then I doubt, where is my faith? So simple.. if I simply believe, walk by it. That is deed. For it is written in James that faith without deeds is dead. If we have faith in GOD, we will have peace in us, then we will not worry.

As it is always said “worry ends, when faith begins.”

The Power of Words

A careless word may kindle strife;
A cruel word may wreck a life.
A bitter word may hate instill;
A brutal word may smite and kill.
A gracious word may smooth the way;
A joyous word may light the day.
A timely word may lessen stress;
A loving word may heal and bless.
~Author Unknown

Facebook

It is a dangerous place to be.. ^_^ it is not the real world, it is a Cyber world, that the enemy have created to rule more.

“What’s on your mind?” – then we post what’s on our mind? All our friends now knows what’s on our mind… isn’t that dangerous? Tho our thoughts could be good, or even just posting a verse.

As for me, ive been posting verses and many godly post, and everytime I stop posting, people notice and thought something is wrong with me, sometimes could be true, sometimes could be not. Sometimes just using something can be an idol in our life, it can ruin us and make us sin against GOD. If it will be hard for us to live a day without facebook… nyahaha! Warning sign! Maybe we are manipulated by facebook unconsciously. Right now im practising self-control over facebook, because self-control is one of the gift of the Holy Spirit. And if I love GOD, I must love GOD above all things and must not be manipulated by anything, my life should be in full surrender to GOD, HE is worthy to manipulate me. ^_^ hay…yayaya… GOD help me love you more than anything.. help me! this I pray ^_^

Matthew 22:37
Luke 10:27
Deuteronomy 6:5
Mark 12:30

When GOD pokes

Oh oh oh my… who can say NO when GOD pokes. Hehehe

Me, I can’t. GOD has been poking me many times, specially when I am acting in disobedience. Disobedience in not following HIS will, HIS will to persevere in ministry and other will of HIM. Hehehe GOD always there to poke me when I am afraid to finish the race HE set for me, When I feel like Elijah and David, Who keeps running away from HIS will, because sometimes GOD’s will is really hard, specially when we are on our own strength. Matthew 11:28-30 .. Phil 4:13 .. but the thing is.. it is not hard, it is light, if we start to trust HIM.. have faith, GOD won't put us on a race HE knows we won't be able to finish when we put all our trust, hopes, strength and faith on HIM ...

Ofcorse sometimes I also feel like Job, I still praise GOD despite all. ^_^ HE deserves all the praise ^_^

waiting, is the hardest thing to do

im waiting on GOD!!! ^_^ kahit ilang years pa... ^_^ im waiting on GOD ^_^

Love is waiting by Brooke Fraser

in the autumn on the ground, between the traffic and the traffic and the ordinary sounds

iam thinking signs and seasons while a north wind blows through

i watch as lovers pass me by

walking stories - whos and hows and whys

musing lazily on love

pondering you

I'll give it time, give it space and be still for a spell

when it's time to walk that way we wana walk it well

I'll be waiting for you baby
I'' be holding back the darkest night

Love is waiting til we're ready, til it's right
Love is waiting

It's my caution not the cold

there's no other hand that I would rather hold

the climate changes, im singing for the strangers about you

don't keep time, slow the pace
Honey hold on if you can

the bets are getting surer now that you're my man

I could right a million songs about the way you say my name
I could live a lifetime with you and then do it all again
and like I can't force the sun to rise or hasteb summer's start,

neither should I rush my way into your heart

While I'm waiting by John Waller


I'm waiting

I'm waiting on You, Lord

And I am hopeful

I'm waiting on You, Lord

Though it is painful

But patiently, I will wait

I will move ahead, bold and confident
Taking every step in obedience

While I'm waiting

I will serve You
While I'm waiting
I will worship
While I'm waiting
I will not faint
I'll be running the race

Even while I wait

I'm waiting

I'm waiting on You, Lord

And I am peaceful

I'm waiting on You, Lord

Though it's not easy
but faithfully, I will wait
Yes, I will wait

I will serve You while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting
I will serve You while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting
I will serve you while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting on You, Lord

I think GOD wants me to observe more

The past weeks I have been observing some people, it saddens me actually. Its like GOD telling me not to talk much, just observe and be quiet.

I have a guy friend, if he is infront of me he seems to be nice and caring but behind me he says words that can hurt me, backstab is the term? (actually he is acting gay with what he does), even my act of care to him he whine about it pala, he is taking it negatively, there are things that I was just ordered to do with someone in authority yet he talks about it with other people and says negative things about it/me. he always take me negatively and I don’t know why, my younger sister told me. then I answer my sister ..”don’t mind him… look vertically never horizontally, and he is who he speak.” I see him as a friend, yet he gossips behind me, but GOD teaching me to forgive him and entrust him to HIM, and to still be humble and kind to this person despite. Confronting him won’t help.

There are people inside church that I don’t know what had happened to them , they just don’t like me, either they gossip about me or they say things exaggerated, again look vertically never horizontally and never be affected by them. Oh well, they are who they speak. When a person shines serving the Lord, eventually people will try to pull them down. And a lesson learned here is that I am serving GOD not men, that when GOD put me in that ministry and all I have to do is give my best. Matthew 6:1; Ephesians 6:7

This mother and daughter in our church hates me. I think it started when I rebuke her daughter for gossiping about me, small thing that happened inside the van yet with her mouth she is making it big. Seems they both hated me after that, once at children choir I was just on leave for a day, when this news just suddenly spread that I am leaving children’s choir. Oh common! Hahaha gossip indeed :D just recent this daughter was again spreading gossip again that many of our youngpro members dislike me, oh well, in the first place she is not yet in youngpro, another thing I am still put to be an officer position of youngpro this year “just maybe our youngpro’s hates me? or it doesn’t mean when someone hates me all of them hates me..”, and 3^rd go back to the Bible hehehe oh well they don’t stop there, I tried to ignore them because I don’t know how to be plastic, I don’t really hate them no time to hate, tho I don’t really like what they are doing. yet they still approach me don’t know how they do that. okey, be nice and kind mj, ordered by GOD. Smile ^_^ Matthew 5:43-48

a girl friend of mine, whom is dear to me, why is that she always spy on me, I see her and look at her a sister but she keeps on proving to me that she is not, she keeps lying to me in a sense. she keeps trying to cheese my life around and ask me question, stupid me sometimes why I always easily trust people and answer all her questions, but its okey. I also will repeatedly forgive her, if the time will come and she will come back to me as a sister, I will wide open arms accepts her. But good thing with her she don’t really says lie words infront of me, she just sneak my life infornt of me hehehe still we are friends, if I talk to her, I see her two, two person, a good friend and a sneaker friend hehehehe ^_^ this friend greets me on my birthday ^_^

Another sister, she keep close to me as a sister, she tried to sneak and ask me questions and again stupid me to answer all. at first I thought she is true, I thought she is real, I welcomed her in my life as a sister, yet she also sneaks my life, and the worst part she keeps lying to me, I kept telling her the truth, I gave her the way, I opened the way to her, yet she have her own plans, and with her plans I tried not to cry, and here my GOD protected me, that’s why I always want to be good, because if I am good, GOD always protect me, I still see her a sister in Christ but not dear to me, Im trying to approach her despite, because GOD wants me to show kindness to her despite. She was just the same like the other sister who is now abroad. This sister and the one abroad they don’t greet me on my birthday ^_^ Romans 12:9-21

Oh well I am not perfect, so do they, I will forgive so that GOD the father will also forgive me, ^_^ another thing it is tiring to be angry or hating someone. Not worth it hehehe

Another thing we are here on this world to please GOD alone not men. If keep on pleasing men, we will never be happy, for men cannot give the satisfaction that GOD can offer.

Another thing I am enjoying practicing this taming the tongue thing. Hehehe since Danny bok su and Mark Chua kept telling me that I really have too hehehe Mark told me early last year that being a public image is not good, whom I am, that is why I am killing the public image thing thatI have. Better live a quiet life less issues ^_^ hehehe

Danny bok su told me last week my heart is fragile, that is why my personality is strong. I have to guard my heart and have control over it so that what my mouth will speak is for GOD’s glory. aja! For GOD, I will ^_^ and by HIS grace I will be able because I know HE will enable. ^_^

Isaiah 56:1

Book of James Chapter 1, my reflection

Oh this December.. I feel like James, he is a servant of GOD, so do I… oh well… this book of James comes to life in my my life and I praise GOD for that. ^_^

Trials and suffering – how true it is that when you serve GOD you will be put in many trials, so that your service for the LORD will be shaken?

For the past months been struggling with all my ministry because of all my life’s trial, unconsciously and unintentionally, I’ve been wanting to hold back… been wanting to quit… with yes and no ; go and stop attitude, like Elijah and David been trying to run away from the will of GOD, but thank GOD that HE have HIS ways to bring me back. Sometimes knowing in my thought that the more I will serve, surely the more these flaming arrows of the enemies will target me.. been on off mode… spiritually struggling.. too focus on all the trials that I am encountering, sometimes im on my feet standing, sometimes im on my feet sitting, but the good thing, im still on my feet for GOD didn’t forsake me, HE was with me all this time, thank GOD that my foundation is good so here I am standing firm.. a realization that the Armor of GOD, Ephesians 6:10-20 is very important, then go back to the Bible, pray deeply, trust GOD and have faith that’s all needed.

Oh well, I consider it pure joy facing all this trials, because my faith is being tested, because it is true, so all I need is to persevere, my goal is to have the crown of life. It is like running a race 1 Corinthians 9:24-27.

Another lesson here, is when we ask GOD for wisdom, awe so true that we must not doubt, we must believe because that’s trusting and having faith in HIM. HE is in control. Truly HE is. If one doubt, one is double-minded and unstable in all he does, which so happened to me, once a friend talked to me and told me na “ano nangyayari sayo mj? Bakit ang labo at gulo mo kausap” it is because im into this sin.

Oh oh temptation… truly temptation is from the enemy and not from GOD…only this month I realize that there is this desire in my heart… a desire that is not bad… but a reminder again that anything my heart desires more than GOD is evil, or an idol. Our heart should only desire GOD. And GOD alone. For the past month October to December, I felt “blessed” to be given the “option” in a way to be pursued? Kulit? by guys, this a great struggle for me the past months, been checking on them, na-disturbed ako and my focus is not on GOD anymore, but to check them who will pass my standard and GOD standard, been thinking maybe this is it, maybe the will of GOD is one of them, been asking sisters from other churches for advices, they told me if I can’t decide, might as well don’t decide, so I dropped the case and didn’t decide, inshort i drop them all, because everytime I will pray and ask GOD for wisdom, there is no answer. I realize that it is not a blessing from GOD but temptation from the enemy, so that I will fail to walk the path GOD has willed for me. so GOD is not tempting me, but the enemy did.

Oh how true is it that we should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry. While im struggling, of course my relationship with GOD is obviously struggling also, not okey. With my ministry the on off , go stop attitude is a sign of disobedient. So with this attitude in me, am I pleasing GOD? Of course NO. with that, surely my heart is not right with GOD and if the heart is not right with GOD, the person whole being is not right, the perspective and attitude change. I have encountered conflicts with people, because of having wrong perspective, or should I say not godly perspective, I have said words that is not pleasing or don’t glorify GOD, lacking control over one tongue due to anger.. so it is oh so true to keep a tight reign over one’s tongue. Oh well all the verses in Bible comes in.. so go back to the Bible once again… hehehe really I have this tongue issue, im a loud type of person, and what my heart/mind speaks I speak, which is not okey.. but it will be fine if my heart is guarded by GOD, if the heart is right.

So far for the past 3 months been reflecting again with verses for the tongue, because when 2011 starts I had the burden to have a control over it. I don’t know, I just need too.. who can say no to GOD. ^_^ eh when I started the year, everything is going fine, when suddenly ewan.. i just stopped, thank GOD HE gives me back the burden to do so ^_^

Oh well, been growing more spiritually, that is why, after all what I have been through, I still thank GOD and praise GOD for allowing all the trials and temptation in my life. ^_^ HE deserves all the praise ^_^ for HIS glory ^_^