Saturday, November 20, 2010
Adjust
Recently I learn that I need to adjust to the will of GOD, yeah I admit it’s my entire fault. Because of my great fear. But still it always takes 2 to tango. Hehehe well I am adjusting now, I am trying to be calm all the time, and to have control. I’m a very impulsive person. I’m learning how to control my emotions so that when I see him I wont get wrong, I wont hurt him, GOD is slowly showing me everything, what to do and what I have done, and teaching me of how to improve and all. HE is really amazing. Now I have to learn to talk to him not in panic mode, I need to learn to converse with him, and I need to learn to smile to him, very important, because we two started with a smile. Imagine how simple does my problem sound, but guess what it’s really a big problem to me. Hahaha I keep practicing, looking at the mirror practising how to talk to him, how to smile to him, how to approach, what to say, not just for a moment ah, I’ve been thinking how to adjust the whole day, imagine that, this really taking me a big effort, if he only knew. It’s really hard for me, I don’t know why too, in my whole life, I think this is the first time I felt something like this, too awkward too weird for me, because I am a people relation person, but with him, my tongue is gone, when I see him I panic, and I want to hide, hahaha torpe! Torpe ako! Hahaha I don’t know, hay.. how I hope to say to him to please exert more effort, because I am having a hard time, the thing is we we’re the same, Torpe! hehehe And I know he have exerted effort too, and got hurt, how I wanted to say sorry ^_^ anyway since GOD is leading me to exert more effort in adjusting, I will. ^_^
Thursday, November 18, 2010
Love Phobia
When I was younger, I never thought that there will be a thing such as love phobia, but there is. And I am one of the patient of this social anxiety disorder. O yes.. im one of the people who have phobias. I also can’t believe.. but with my past love life no wonder. Its really hard to fight phobia. Its like dying over and over again. Can u imagine seeing the one you love, every time you do, you die. You die because you love him, you die because you are afraid to love him, but guess what? It’s stupidity. What the Bible say is true, GOD is Love, and perfect love drives away fear. For love dispels darkness. Love washes out and burns negativity. Love shines and penetrates like the rays of the Sun. Love always heals.
1Corinthian 13:4-8 Love is patient. Love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices in the truth. Love always protects, trust, always hopes and always perserverse. Love never fails.
It’s funny to be afraid of loving for the reason of being afraid to be hurt, but what hurts most is not loving and loosing the person you love. So why fear? Instead… go and love. Show it. ^_^ and I will.. by GOD’s grace under HIS will whom I draw my strength.
1Corinthian 13:4-8 Love is patient. Love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices in the truth. Love always protects, trust, always hopes and always perserverse. Love never fails.
It’s funny to be afraid of loving for the reason of being afraid to be hurt, but what hurts most is not loving and loosing the person you love. So why fear? Instead… go and love. Show it. ^_^ and I will.. by GOD’s grace under HIS will whom I draw my strength.
Don’t rush
“Don’t rush because if you do, you will only hurt yourself.”
What a sentence, but profoundly very true. How can you be on something GOD is not yet done preparing or haven’t finished doing. the servant should wait on his Master for the assignment. So be patient and wait. Let GOD use times of waiting to mold and shape your character. Let GOD use those times to purify your life and make you into a clean vessel for HIS service. as you obey HIM, GOD will prepare you for the assignment that is just right for you.
What a sentence, but profoundly very true. How can you be on something GOD is not yet done preparing or haven’t finished doing. the servant should wait on his Master for the assignment. So be patient and wait. Let GOD use times of waiting to mold and shape your character. Let GOD use those times to purify your life and make you into a clean vessel for HIS service. as you obey HIM, GOD will prepare you for the assignment that is just right for you.
Jealous GOD
GOD said that HE is a jealous GOD. HE wants to be love 1st above all. I will my GOD. ^_^
Monday, November 15, 2010
Ready
Ready? Am I ready?
Hmmm
Recently I always ask myself this. Am I ready for love? Favourite topic hahaha
Last time, I wasn’t ready for love. Now am I?
Go back to last time. Yes last time I am not ready for love, because I am too afraid. Afraid to get hurt again. My whole life is full of hurt, because of love that is why I am fearful. Not until I knew it was him, perfect love drives out fear.
GOD is preparing me to be ready. That’s all I know. I can see GOD hands in everything.
All this time I am thinking that how can I be ready if he is not ready. Just this moment I realize that… how can he also be ready if I am not ready. Because all this time I was just waiting for him to be ready. So is he. So we were both waiting. Okey so nothing will happen hahaha
Ok. So it really takes 2 to tango. Wait..
Is this silence healthy? It’s a risk. But yes it’s a need. Why? so both will take time to think.
Space is really needed. For people to grow and matured. Even Jesus take a pause.
He took a pause to know and make clear the will of GOD.
In this silence I learned some of the things I need to know with life. The things I need to improve and change. The mistakes I commit. And the failures I am doing.
It is not only I who needs to think, improve and learn, he also. But let us not focus on his mistakes. Let him do his own blog posting all his.hehehe everything should focus first on their own mistakes, before looking at other’s mistakes.
Now I am ready. Yet still, GOD knows when is really the ready time, maybe GOD will still want to show me additional leading before totally be ready. I will just continually pray to GOD to let everything fall into place.
And I will continually pray that GOD will ready both. So that in HIS time everything will be beautiful ^_^
Just be ready!!
Hmmm
Recently I always ask myself this. Am I ready for love? Favourite topic hahaha
Last time, I wasn’t ready for love. Now am I?
Go back to last time. Yes last time I am not ready for love, because I am too afraid. Afraid to get hurt again. My whole life is full of hurt, because of love that is why I am fearful. Not until I knew it was him, perfect love drives out fear.
GOD is preparing me to be ready. That’s all I know. I can see GOD hands in everything.
All this time I am thinking that how can I be ready if he is not ready. Just this moment I realize that… how can he also be ready if I am not ready. Because all this time I was just waiting for him to be ready. So is he. So we were both waiting. Okey so nothing will happen hahaha
Ok. So it really takes 2 to tango. Wait..
Is this silence healthy? It’s a risk. But yes it’s a need. Why? so both will take time to think.
Space is really needed. For people to grow and matured. Even Jesus take a pause.
He took a pause to know and make clear the will of GOD.
In this silence I learned some of the things I need to know with life. The things I need to improve and change. The mistakes I commit. And the failures I am doing.
It is not only I who needs to think, improve and learn, he also. But let us not focus on his mistakes. Let him do his own blog posting all his.hehehe everything should focus first on their own mistakes, before looking at other’s mistakes.
Now I am ready. Yet still, GOD knows when is really the ready time, maybe GOD will still want to show me additional leading before totally be ready. I will just continually pray to GOD to let everything fall into place.
And I will continually pray that GOD will ready both. So that in HIS time everything will be beautiful ^_^
Just be ready!!
Self control
This is one of the fruit of the Holy Spirit.
Galatians 5:22-23 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.
This is the truth, I lack self control, I easily get addicted to things that’s why I always practice prevention is better than cure, I can’t control my emotions, if I am happy, I am hyper happy, same with sadness and madness. I can’t also control my mouth, I have a big mouth, I always talk, I talk a lot. I always say my thoughts. Sometimes I fail to think before I talk. Same with texting messages, I always text I even text my thoughts. I need to control all these. Because my strengths becomes my weakness because of lack of self-control. I am too impulsive. My service to GOD also get affected. Now I have to stop all these before I can get back to my service. Because I first need to know how to control. Now I am praying to GOD to teach me how to control.
Galatians 5:22-23 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.
This is the truth, I lack self control, I easily get addicted to things that’s why I always practice prevention is better than cure, I can’t control my emotions, if I am happy, I am hyper happy, same with sadness and madness. I can’t also control my mouth, I have a big mouth, I always talk, I talk a lot. I always say my thoughts. Sometimes I fail to think before I talk. Same with texting messages, I always text I even text my thoughts. I need to control all these. Because my strengths becomes my weakness because of lack of self-control. I am too impulsive. My service to GOD also get affected. Now I have to stop all these before I can get back to my service. Because I first need to know how to control. Now I am praying to GOD to teach me how to control.
Friday, November 12, 2010
foothold
the real foodthold of the enemy to me is facebook and ym, here he deceives me and twist my mind, he try to make me confuse. he uses people to confuse me. Oh how thankful Iam that I have GOD, HE saves me. I love GOD.
LOVE
GOD gave you to me... GOD made me love you and it wont change. ^_^ the love is from GOD. it's from GOD. amazing. love is true, true love is from true love. ^_^
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c9taG2SSp8k
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c9taG2SSp8k
in a week of silence
after surrendering everything to GOD. i had a week of silence. where i dont entertain talks.. only with my best friend C and sister S, i only release emotions to them, but practising not to listen with their comments. it is only to GOD i will listen. no advice is best suitable for this. it is only GOD's voice i will follow. i will only obey the voice that I believe. today everything is well and okey. how i hope i can tell him right away, but no, GOD said to me, not a word. i still have no commands to text him, but i will greet him later. im so excited, because i know I am released from my fears. i have broken the enemy's foothold. and I thank GOD. Im hoping in GOD's time that everything will fall into place. for HIS glory. i will repeatedly say to all "I will fulfill the will of GOD." in HIM i draw strength. I will walk in faith with HIM, in HIM i trust. in HIM i hope and in HIM I believe. I will always believe. GOD is at work, I see HIM work and I feel HIM work. if GOD is with us, who can be against us. GOD will continue to work, just listen to HIS voice. I love YOU GOD.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Pn4KQqSrrA
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Pn4KQqSrrA
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
fixing my life
GOD wants me to fix my life first, HE wants me to solve all my unresolve issues in my life, from childhood to present, so that i'll be ready, this is HIS preparation for me to be the right one when the one HE will for me comes...because i won't be able to fix the other areas of my life if i am not totally healed...i still believe what GOD has instore for me, HE just wants me to obey, like what HE told me, not a word, now Iam doing it, HE wants me to surrender it all.. i asked GOD how, now HE is teaching me how, HE is teaching me to give my most important part of my life to HIM, for HE knew best. HE wants me to let go, HE don't want me to have a strong grip on it, because HE can see me wounded and weary, GOD truly loves me. and Iam taking a big risk.. all in as Lin Bok Su said.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yvgvYFxW_QM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x9geV211GHU
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yvgvYFxW_QM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x9geV211GHU
good to have GOD
one good thing of having a GOD is that HE will teach you to forgive people many times, several times, all the time, even they didn't ask forgiveness from you. GOD will give you a kind, loving, forgiving and obedient heart.
another good thing is that when you fully surrender your life to GOD, everything will be light, the will of GOD should not be heavy and burdensome, if you give entrust HIM to lead you, to walk in HIS path, in HIS strength and in HIS ways. just follow.
another good thing is that when you fully surrender your life to GOD, everything will be light, the will of GOD should not be heavy and burdensome, if you give entrust HIM to lead you, to walk in HIS path, in HIS strength and in HIS ways. just follow.
Sunday, November 7, 2010
GOD is at work
just keep quiet mj.. GOD is at work... trust.. surrender... have faith and obey.. and be free.. because you are in the truth... ^_^
lucky 8 (this must be published)
my new courting rules!! a must!!
1. Pray to GOD
2. Talk to Lin Bok Su , he should know
3. Clear his intentions to me
4. Public should know (my friends, my church mates, his family, his friends, his church mates )
5. He has to prove it
6. Only 1 month minimum to court me 3 months maximum
7. only places to court me 1st UECM (church), 2nd group dates, 3rd House (i will tell if he seems to pass hehehe)
8. Go back to GOD and pray
who will dare??? ^_^ GOD bless... I will just know if its GOD's will... also i have no compromise.. after all i've been through.. ^_^
1. Pray to GOD
2. Talk to Lin Bok Su , he should know
3. Clear his intentions to me
4. Public should know (my friends, my church mates, his family, his friends, his church mates )
5. He has to prove it
6. Only 1 month minimum to court me 3 months maximum
7. only places to court me 1st UECM (church), 2nd group dates, 3rd House (i will tell if he seems to pass hehehe)
8. Go back to GOD and pray
who will dare??? ^_^ GOD bless... I will just know if its GOD's will... also i have no compromise.. after all i've been through.. ^_^
my love to my LOVE
my love to my LOVE....
enough is enough... three times is too much ^_^
time to be back to reality. i cannot live in his crazy world full of analyzation. ill get insane. and I am sane.. i cannot conform to him, i love him so much that i keep adjusting to him. i can no longer do this. he havent proven anything. and me i have proven everything. ive waited for 1.5 years.. i did compromise, i closed my door and windows to all guys, so that it would not be hard for him. oh well, i have just surrender everything to GOD.. ^_^ im happy to be in the truth.. ^_^
enough is enough... three times is too much ^_^
time to be back to reality. i cannot live in his crazy world full of analyzation. ill get insane. and I am sane.. i cannot conform to him, i love him so much that i keep adjusting to him. i can no longer do this. he havent proven anything. and me i have proven everything. ive waited for 1.5 years.. i did compromise, i closed my door and windows to all guys, so that it would not be hard for him. oh well, i have just surrender everything to GOD.. ^_^ im happy to be in the truth.. ^_^
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
welcome back mj at multiply.. goodbye FB hehehe
im going back to multiply.. i find peace here.. than .. u know hehe
since people are too busy FBing.. ill be busy MULTIPLYing.. hehehehe
the past months.. life becomes so complicated for me.. many times i don't understand things anymore.. not the life i have before.. i don't know if ill be happy or what.. before these things happen.. my life is at peace... calm... so spontaneous.. so joyful.. so fun... free indeed... thats the time im growing in GOD's love.. the time where I am strengthening my foundation.. and nurishing and purifying myself with GOD's love... feeding my mind more of HIS words... things like that.. I was also aware then that I am full of peace and happy.. didn't expect that when one gets matured.. one has to be used.. one has to be called.. one gets to be attacked... sounds Crazy huh? o yeah..im in this crazy spiritual secular world right now...its like walking in 2 worlds... while you keep walking and following the spiritual call.. your secular body suffers alot... the past weeks i just wish that nobody sees me... only to people who i trust... the past days.. i hate being asked how iam.. because i no longer know how to answer that question.. i just wish not to talk to anyone.. i just want to talk to people who i want to talk to... i wish ..yeah because i know what i want is impossible.. really its hard to be called and to follow obey and understand things you dont understand.. hard.. how i wish GOD would just show up and explain to everyone what HE has called me... so that it wont be hard for me.. but that's where faith and trust comes... then my oh so...being practice book.. the book of JAMES...
consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perserverance. perserverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. if anyone lacks wisdom, he should ask GOD,who gives generously without finding fault, and it will be given to him. but when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubt is like the wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. that man should not think he will receive anything from the Lord, he is a double minded man, unstable in all he does. James 1:2-8
yes!! yes!! yes!! im trying to be in joy in rejoice while in this trial.. the trial is really hard..im crying in pain while trying to give thanks and rejoice.. and really what the Bible says is so true.. you have to persevere.. to mature more in faith.. i always ask GOD for wisdom, HE do give.. HE answer.. awesome indeed.. but the problem is.. at first im stable..happy.. at go go go mode.. but then along the way im being tossed by the wind.. im in doubt because the wisdom that i had was so different from what iam hearing and seeing in this secular world.. im always shaken..im always being attacked by satan.. he is clever.. that i can say.. but with that.. i pray hard.. all the scripture im reading enters my mind.. Bible words to the rescue.. thank GOD.
i also did needed tha book of Proverbs, Eccleciates, Job, Jeremiah and Psalms..
walking by faith.. sometimes sound stupid for other people.. even with some spiritual people. they don't understand my call.. because they always use their practical worldly mind their logical point of view to view my call or my situation... so i hate to talk to people who cant understand because its pointless. i wont get help but instead advices ill later regret.. because these are not from my faith. but even like this.. i understand them.. they care so they want what they thought good for me..or right. but the thing is its not their call.. its my call. how hard it is to be called.
why iam suffering now? its all my fault.. why? because i first ignore my call.. because then i dont understand.. plus this person.. he dont know what he is doing.. he never pointed out his true intention.. he is making me think crazy then.. and now i become really crazy. but i was also in fear... satan is using my fear then to not make this fulfilled... i was living in fear then.. i was so fearful.. and i know thats my sin .. so now im punished.. tsk tsk tsk
i have overcome my fear.. and i fought.. i ran the race... but still now i havent finished the will.. so im dead to GOD.. once HE got mad at me when i told HIM i dont want this anymore i want this stop.. HE granted but guess what.. HE made me suffer.. HE made me feel pain... til i asked for forgiveness and promised HIM that i will finish this whatever it takes. and proving HIM that Iam enduring the pains.. now, HE is still at lead in my life.. leads my every step.. HE just taught me to pray super duper often as possible.. to pray for even super small things possible... in everything i learned to pray.. because without HIS leading HIS wisdom.. im lost then i suffer...so now i know the value and power of prayer... even in sound small things..i could be big.
now GOD is teaching me to surrender it all to HIM that my power is not enough that when I fight i should learn how to trust HIM and surrender everything to HIM and HE will fight for me. that in everything .. it is not my ways.. it is always HIS ways.. hmm sound easy .. surrender all to HIM.. no, its not.. recently i always pray to HIM to help me know how to surrender it all to HIM.. because it aint easy.. really. HARD. a small grip is still a grip.
Time.. we can never plan anything in our time.. it is always HIS time.. so always be prepared.. because when HIS time comes.. you wouldn't want to missed it.. because HE might again got mad and again i might suffer... pls.. no to suffering anymore.. too much pain.. i have enough... huhuhu all i want is to follow and obey. to much disciplining GOD.. but still you always know what is enough.
Wait for the Lord, another lesson. o my my my.. what ah... yes really indeed wait is one of the hardest thing to do.. its easy to leave than to wait.. imagine waiting for someone in your house for 2 hours.. imagine that... what more waiting for HIS time for more than a year already.. to be almost exact 1 year and 6 months already... its a long wait.. all GOD is telling me WAIT.. WAIT.. WAIT... i always follow... many times i want to give up.. but GOD is drawing me back over and over again.. you know the feeling to be drag back.. thats what iam feeling.. im always drag back... as ive said its easier to leave... so happy to leave then drag back to suffer... imagine that!!! so the past weeks im not totally leaving what iam usually doing.. but now giving up is what iam into.. everytime iam to give up.. GOD gives reason not to.. amazing how HE works.. so beautiful... you will know that HE is really in control.. great!! the past weeks i always feel sophocated with the situation.. its like dying alive.. hard.. im still alive but feels like dying everyday.. i sometimes ask GOD.. can I just be with YOU.. because im in pain here.. yuhu... my Daddy GOD.. knock knock! hehe
in this trial i saw the enemy uses people who are also believers, but in weak state of faith, to attack, used them not to fulfill GOD's willed.. u know why? because the enemy knows... he knows who are his enemy.. he knows who gets strenghthen when the willed took place... he knows.. that is why.. he is focused working too.. working for this not to be fulfilled... but again thank GOD.. because when HE allowed the enemy, HE put me in trial.. not to simply make me just suffer... but to strengthen my faith.. because HE knows my capabilities and extends... great GOD.. worthy of praise.. yahoo!!
That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” 2 Corinthians 12:10
now my prayer is like this.. GOD im so helpless... nobody can help me but YOU, YOU are in this from the beginning... You worked , i saw and felt YOU working... YOU are so powerful, YOU move hearts, please work GOD, YOU are greater than this world. YOU know my fights, YOU know where iam now, YOU know im weary, wounded and weak. please help fulfilling YOUR will, since its YOUR plan.. may thy will be done... in YOUR ways oh Lord. Please hear YOUR servants cry for mercy. YOU know my heart, YOU know how i want to finished this.. In YOU i trust. I love YOU, GOD.
this is what i call spiritual fight... i thank GOD because im real HIS... and i know where i really belong... ^_^
here in my trials, i have applied all the pains i been through my life.. my love life.. now i understand why did they all happen... its for today.. for HIS glory.. ^_^
"true love never leaves true love, for true love waits for true love." - mj lee
"true love is from GOD, and the real true love will only comes from GOD our true love." - mj lee
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UMhbD1yl4rs
since people are too busy FBing.. ill be busy MULTIPLYing.. hehehehe
the past months.. life becomes so complicated for me.. many times i don't understand things anymore.. not the life i have before.. i don't know if ill be happy or what.. before these things happen.. my life is at peace... calm... so spontaneous.. so joyful.. so fun... free indeed... thats the time im growing in GOD's love.. the time where I am strengthening my foundation.. and nurishing and purifying myself with GOD's love... feeding my mind more of HIS words... things like that.. I was also aware then that I am full of peace and happy.. didn't expect that when one gets matured.. one has to be used.. one has to be called.. one gets to be attacked... sounds Crazy huh? o yeah..im in this crazy spiritual secular world right now...its like walking in 2 worlds... while you keep walking and following the spiritual call.. your secular body suffers alot... the past weeks i just wish that nobody sees me... only to people who i trust... the past days.. i hate being asked how iam.. because i no longer know how to answer that question.. i just wish not to talk to anyone.. i just want to talk to people who i want to talk to... i wish ..yeah because i know what i want is impossible.. really its hard to be called and to follow obey and understand things you dont understand.. hard.. how i wish GOD would just show up and explain to everyone what HE has called me... so that it wont be hard for me.. but that's where faith and trust comes... then my oh so...being practice book.. the book of JAMES...
consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perserverance. perserverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. if anyone lacks wisdom, he should ask GOD,who gives generously without finding fault, and it will be given to him. but when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubt is like the wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. that man should not think he will receive anything from the Lord, he is a double minded man, unstable in all he does. James 1:2-8
yes!! yes!! yes!! im trying to be in joy in rejoice while in this trial.. the trial is really hard..im crying in pain while trying to give thanks and rejoice.. and really what the Bible says is so true.. you have to persevere.. to mature more in faith.. i always ask GOD for wisdom, HE do give.. HE answer.. awesome indeed.. but the problem is.. at first im stable..happy.. at go go go mode.. but then along the way im being tossed by the wind.. im in doubt because the wisdom that i had was so different from what iam hearing and seeing in this secular world.. im always shaken..im always being attacked by satan.. he is clever.. that i can say.. but with that.. i pray hard.. all the scripture im reading enters my mind.. Bible words to the rescue.. thank GOD.
i also did needed tha book of Proverbs, Eccleciates, Job, Jeremiah and Psalms..
walking by faith.. sometimes sound stupid for other people.. even with some spiritual people. they don't understand my call.. because they always use their practical worldly mind their logical point of view to view my call or my situation... so i hate to talk to people who cant understand because its pointless. i wont get help but instead advices ill later regret.. because these are not from my faith. but even like this.. i understand them.. they care so they want what they thought good for me..or right. but the thing is its not their call.. its my call. how hard it is to be called.
why iam suffering now? its all my fault.. why? because i first ignore my call.. because then i dont understand.. plus this person.. he dont know what he is doing.. he never pointed out his true intention.. he is making me think crazy then.. and now i become really crazy. but i was also in fear... satan is using my fear then to not make this fulfilled... i was living in fear then.. i was so fearful.. and i know thats my sin .. so now im punished.. tsk tsk tsk
i have overcome my fear.. and i fought.. i ran the race... but still now i havent finished the will.. so im dead to GOD.. once HE got mad at me when i told HIM i dont want this anymore i want this stop.. HE granted but guess what.. HE made me suffer.. HE made me feel pain... til i asked for forgiveness and promised HIM that i will finish this whatever it takes. and proving HIM that Iam enduring the pains.. now, HE is still at lead in my life.. leads my every step.. HE just taught me to pray super duper often as possible.. to pray for even super small things possible... in everything i learned to pray.. because without HIS leading HIS wisdom.. im lost then i suffer...so now i know the value and power of prayer... even in sound small things..i could be big.
now GOD is teaching me to surrender it all to HIM that my power is not enough that when I fight i should learn how to trust HIM and surrender everything to HIM and HE will fight for me. that in everything .. it is not my ways.. it is always HIS ways.. hmm sound easy .. surrender all to HIM.. no, its not.. recently i always pray to HIM to help me know how to surrender it all to HIM.. because it aint easy.. really. HARD. a small grip is still a grip.
Time.. we can never plan anything in our time.. it is always HIS time.. so always be prepared.. because when HIS time comes.. you wouldn't want to missed it.. because HE might again got mad and again i might suffer... pls.. no to suffering anymore.. too much pain.. i have enough... huhuhu all i want is to follow and obey. to much disciplining GOD.. but still you always know what is enough.
Wait for the Lord, another lesson. o my my my.. what ah... yes really indeed wait is one of the hardest thing to do.. its easy to leave than to wait.. imagine waiting for someone in your house for 2 hours.. imagine that... what more waiting for HIS time for more than a year already.. to be almost exact 1 year and 6 months already... its a long wait.. all GOD is telling me WAIT.. WAIT.. WAIT... i always follow... many times i want to give up.. but GOD is drawing me back over and over again.. you know the feeling to be drag back.. thats what iam feeling.. im always drag back... as ive said its easier to leave... so happy to leave then drag back to suffer... imagine that!!! so the past weeks im not totally leaving what iam usually doing.. but now giving up is what iam into.. everytime iam to give up.. GOD gives reason not to.. amazing how HE works.. so beautiful... you will know that HE is really in control.. great!! the past weeks i always feel sophocated with the situation.. its like dying alive.. hard.. im still alive but feels like dying everyday.. i sometimes ask GOD.. can I just be with YOU.. because im in pain here.. yuhu... my Daddy GOD.. knock knock! hehe
in this trial i saw the enemy uses people who are also believers, but in weak state of faith, to attack, used them not to fulfill GOD's willed.. u know why? because the enemy knows... he knows who are his enemy.. he knows who gets strenghthen when the willed took place... he knows.. that is why.. he is focused working too.. working for this not to be fulfilled... but again thank GOD.. because when HE allowed the enemy, HE put me in trial.. not to simply make me just suffer... but to strengthen my faith.. because HE knows my capabilities and extends... great GOD.. worthy of praise.. yahoo!!
That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” 2 Corinthians 12:10
now my prayer is like this.. GOD im so helpless... nobody can help me but YOU, YOU are in this from the beginning... You worked , i saw and felt YOU working... YOU are so powerful, YOU move hearts, please work GOD, YOU are greater than this world. YOU know my fights, YOU know where iam now, YOU know im weary, wounded and weak. please help fulfilling YOUR will, since its YOUR plan.. may thy will be done... in YOUR ways oh Lord. Please hear YOUR servants cry for mercy. YOU know my heart, YOU know how i want to finished this.. In YOU i trust. I love YOU, GOD.
this is what i call spiritual fight... i thank GOD because im real HIS... and i know where i really belong... ^_^
here in my trials, i have applied all the pains i been through my life.. my love life.. now i understand why did they all happen... its for today.. for HIS glory.. ^_^
"true love never leaves true love, for true love waits for true love." - mj lee
"true love is from GOD, and the real true love will only comes from GOD our true love." - mj lee
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UMhbD1yl4rs
Monday, September 13, 2010
LOVE that is willed
still..I believe true LOVE comes from GOD.HE will give the gift of love to that certain person HE willed for,& HE will give it to both at the same time.also they will both feel HE is working & leading them about it.the enemy is wise & manipulative to use fear of both to destroy them.but GOD will not allow HE has great ...plans.just have faith & wait for the Lord.the will of GOD will take place at HIS time.at HIS time.
Friday, September 3, 2010
Still
Being still is something hard to do, but if it’s for GOD’s glory, I will.
I don’t know, but I receive a message of being STILL, regarding my love life, last August 15, 2010, when Reverend Harg Ang is the one leading the sermon and Elliott Chua is the one translating, this is the same message I receive from the LORD, I may not know HIS plan, but I will follow. I will wait for the LORD.
What is being still before the LORD?
It is enjoying GOD’s presence while waiting. Enjoying, loving, knowing, serving and being patient while listening, obeying…and waiting for HIS next command. For HIS time. In HIS time.
If I am very busy, I have to prioritize spend time with the LORD and listen to HIM.
If I spend time, I must not keep talking, one way communication is not good, it should always be two way, I should also learn and know how to listen.
Believe and never doubt. Just trust. Full trust,
Then follow and obey HIS commands.
Another strong reason for being still..
It is better to be single than marry someone who is not will by GOD for me.
~what an insight..
Struggles of being still,
1. O well, I am blessed with the gift of human relation, I am so friendly that guys find it easy to approach me and be friend with me, so I am having lot of guys who comes after me, hard, hard to reject or ignore them, hard to be not friendly, hard to be still at first because some are really okey in different ways GOD made them to be. But if they are not, I cannot also entertain them, I have to be cold to them. Satan is using them to distract me without them knowing it. We all know that satan don't want GOD's will to take place. It will ruin him, he knows that. So all I do is pray for everything. And super thank GOD, HE is drawing me close and close to HIM. Praise HIM.
2. Another, hay this guy who is willed by GOD to me, is also an eligible bachelor, he is really okey, so ladies are texting, ym-ing and FB-ing me also, they are asking lots of questions, and doing whatever things. Before this ladies shakes me, but now GOD’s leading is so obvious that made me very strong in my stand of still. O well, this is GOD’s will, tough, painful and confusing at first. But when you fully listen and obey, fully have surrendered to GOD all, and fully trust HIM, everything is not hard at all, tough yes!! But not tough because I have GOD hehehe
I have an end up question:
Is he experiencing same toughness struggles like me? I hope I can share this to him, but I can’t because I am still hahaha =P but I know, we we're both relying and trusting GOD. Praise GOD.
I don’t know, but I receive a message of being STILL, regarding my love life, last August 15, 2010, when Reverend Harg Ang is the one leading the sermon and Elliott Chua is the one translating, this is the same message I receive from the LORD, I may not know HIS plan, but I will follow. I will wait for the LORD.
What is being still before the LORD?
It is enjoying GOD’s presence while waiting. Enjoying, loving, knowing, serving and being patient while listening, obeying…and waiting for HIS next command. For HIS time. In HIS time.
If I am very busy, I have to prioritize spend time with the LORD and listen to HIM.
If I spend time, I must not keep talking, one way communication is not good, it should always be two way, I should also learn and know how to listen.
Believe and never doubt. Just trust. Full trust,
Then follow and obey HIS commands.
Another strong reason for being still..
It is better to be single than marry someone who is not will by GOD for me.
~what an insight..
Struggles of being still,
1. O well, I am blessed with the gift of human relation, I am so friendly that guys find it easy to approach me and be friend with me, so I am having lot of guys who comes after me, hard, hard to reject or ignore them, hard to be not friendly, hard to be still at first because some are really okey in different ways GOD made them to be. But if they are not, I cannot also entertain them, I have to be cold to them. Satan is using them to distract me without them knowing it. We all know that satan don't want GOD's will to take place. It will ruin him, he knows that. So all I do is pray for everything. And super thank GOD, HE is drawing me close and close to HIM. Praise HIM.
2. Another, hay this guy who is willed by GOD to me, is also an eligible bachelor, he is really okey, so ladies are texting, ym-ing and FB-ing me also, they are asking lots of questions, and doing whatever things. Before this ladies shakes me, but now GOD’s leading is so obvious that made me very strong in my stand of still. O well, this is GOD’s will, tough, painful and confusing at first. But when you fully listen and obey, fully have surrendered to GOD all, and fully trust HIM, everything is not hard at all, tough yes!! But not tough because I have GOD hehehe
I have an end up question:
Is he experiencing same toughness struggles like me? I hope I can share this to him, but I can’t because I am still hahaha =P but I know, we we're both relying and trusting GOD. Praise GOD.
I have a dream
I have a dream last Aug 22, 2010, I was like in a province,
A guy ask me to swim deep to live.. it was a big body of water like a lake or a river with many trees, when I look at the water I saw a lot of fish, they are so close together, scary if you will see, but this guy told me, I can swim deep to live and to cross under the water to reach the other side, deep is very beautiful no one can imagine because he have swim through it, I woke up.. having the question am I willing?
Before I slept, that night, there was a game, and a question I cannot forget, what have I risked for GOD? I can’t answer, because I never experienced risking anything, now I know I have a calling to share, because last Monday Aug 30, 2010, I was asked to lead a Bible study, there’s a hunger to do it more. So far, I am at this point, i got lots of unbeliever around me. May GOD continue to lead me. Praise HIM. ^_^
A guy ask me to swim deep to live.. it was a big body of water like a lake or a river with many trees, when I look at the water I saw a lot of fish, they are so close together, scary if you will see, but this guy told me, I can swim deep to live and to cross under the water to reach the other side, deep is very beautiful no one can imagine because he have swim through it, I woke up.. having the question am I willing?
Before I slept, that night, there was a game, and a question I cannot forget, what have I risked for GOD? I can’t answer, because I never experienced risking anything, now I know I have a calling to share, because last Monday Aug 30, 2010, I was asked to lead a Bible study, there’s a hunger to do it more. So far, I am at this point, i got lots of unbeliever around me. May GOD continue to lead me. Praise HIM. ^_^
Thursday, July 29, 2010
TRUST
Sometimes we don't understand the plans and ways of the Lord, but I trust the Lord with all my heart and with all my soul... I will not doubt, I will not fear, and I will not be shaken... I saw HIM work... I feel HIM work.. that is why I know HE is at work.. ^_^
i want to quit love, i dont want to hold back.. because everything is confusing and painful...but for I don't know reason GOD didn't want me.. HE wanted me to stay.. oh what a stupid thing to do.. everyone says.. quit.. everyone says you'll get hurt more, I know, I understand, I also wanted to... but I don't know why GOD won't allow me... I have no choice but to follow GOD, even if my future is uncertain and seems to be in full pain... but I just have to TRUST...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y7rc3SU2zlM
i want to quit love, i dont want to hold back.. because everything is confusing and painful...but for I don't know reason GOD didn't want me.. HE wanted me to stay.. oh what a stupid thing to do.. everyone says.. quit.. everyone says you'll get hurt more, I know, I understand, I also wanted to... but I don't know why GOD won't allow me... I have no choice but to follow GOD, even if my future is uncertain and seems to be in full pain... but I just have to TRUST...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y7rc3SU2zlM
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
oh ohh...
my heart is broken . and i don't know what to do.. i have just conquered fear to love.. yet love just broke my heart.. so painful and so true... im blessed to have two good sister friend with me.. who as much as possible not forsake me.. i dont understand why... my heart is in ache and mind is in chaos.. and thank GOD that HE holds it so tight that i feel lesser pain...
oh GOD who never forsake me.. help me.. you lead me here... now im lost... why dont i understand... your ways oh Lord, what specific learning you just want me learn? or what is your only direction for me?? til where and when is your leading here? am I supposed to change my path? or continue on this path... i want to quit oh GOD, but you know my heart.. it only satisfy following you.. you are the boss of my life... you are my leader.. my defender.. my teacher.. my healer.. my protector,..my strength, my provider.. my all and my Father..
i will be still oh Lord, I will wait for your leading.. I will wait for you, for i trust you.. my heart is lost, but i know it can be found in you, it is broken, but i know it will be restored, Oh GOD all mighty... please i beg you.. listen to my affliction, hear my cry oh GOD, hear my plead, you know the deires of my heart, you know my needs, you know whats best for me...you oh GOD are the ruler.. forever you will reign..
help me bring back the joy of my heart, help me bring back the so much love i have... help me bring back life oh GOD... im lost... im broken...
GOD i did love.. i know what is love... and i know how to love... i applied your teaching... i showed my learnings... GOD, YOU are the one who give love.. and i thank you...
in the end.. i dont know.. and all i know... you know...
oh GOD who never forsake me.. help me.. you lead me here... now im lost... why dont i understand... your ways oh Lord, what specific learning you just want me learn? or what is your only direction for me?? til where and when is your leading here? am I supposed to change my path? or continue on this path... i want to quit oh GOD, but you know my heart.. it only satisfy following you.. you are the boss of my life... you are my leader.. my defender.. my teacher.. my healer.. my protector,..my strength, my provider.. my all and my Father..
i will be still oh Lord, I will wait for your leading.. I will wait for you, for i trust you.. my heart is lost, but i know it can be found in you, it is broken, but i know it will be restored, Oh GOD all mighty... please i beg you.. listen to my affliction, hear my cry oh GOD, hear my plead, you know the deires of my heart, you know my needs, you know whats best for me...you oh GOD are the ruler.. forever you will reign..
help me bring back the joy of my heart, help me bring back the so much love i have... help me bring back life oh GOD... im lost... im broken...
GOD i did love.. i know what is love... and i know how to love... i applied your teaching... i showed my learnings... GOD, YOU are the one who give love.. and i thank you...
in the end.. i dont know.. and all i know... you know...
Monday, July 19, 2010
If I could..
If I could just tell you how inlove I am to you
If I could just show you how much I care for you
If I could prove to you how I want to be beside you
I would..
I made a vow with GOD.
Ecclesiastes 5:4
Just give me time.. I will pray.. I will overcome.. and I will come..
By GOD’s grace, but GOD’s mercy, but GOD’s love
I know HE will took away all my fears…
Please wait..
This is my first step… to be alone…
to be with HIM.. so that I could be with you...
just trust ^^,
If I could just show you how much I care for you
If I could prove to you how I want to be beside you
I would..
I made a vow with GOD.
Ecclesiastes 5:4
Just give me time.. I will pray.. I will overcome.. and I will come..
By GOD’s grace, but GOD’s mercy, but GOD’s love
I know HE will took away all my fears…
Please wait..
This is my first step… to be alone…
to be with HIM.. so that I could be with you...
just trust ^^,
Overcoming fear to cross the boundary to love
This may sound stupid and funny, but overcoming fear to cross the boundary to love ain’t easy, I’ve been struggling for almost a year. Right now I still don’t know how to overcome, but I am decided the answer to when, it is now or never. I love this guy, a love that I don’t know how it happen, all I know is that it happen, and all I know is that it came from GOD. I wanted to show this guy my love, but even a friendly talk or how are you I cannot do. I am acting so weird and awkward toward him, so different from other people, I am this super PR type of girl, yet to him, my tongue seems cut. I don’t know.. I want to regret my broken hearts, but I don’t want too because I grow from their. Now I am having difficulty because I am full of fear. Fear of getting hurt. I want to love this person, but I don’t know how. It kills me when I hurt him, but over and over again, that what I am doing. I sometimes thought that it seems better for me to just die than hurt the person I love. I want to be ready, but my fears are eating me, I can’t move, I look stupid, I am so immature. “do not hurt the one you love, it is self defeating..” so true.. everyday, I’ve been praying for this, but I can’t do a thing, I know GOD has been so merciful to me. HE is trying to help me many times. But many times I failed HIM and I hurt him. You know how much it hurts? You know how scary it is? My whole life, I’ve been hurt, yet I grow, I mature, now is the time to love, but I still live in fear, now I’ll be needing this 4 days, to think, to overcome, what I have to overcome, because I want this Friday to be ready. Because I believe I will be ready, If I prepare and ask for GOD’s mercy. GOD is a loving GOD. HE will help me. I know HE will help me.
HER
I have an ex-friend… at first she was okey with me, we enjoy chatting and being together.. that is why I have shared a lot of my life with her.. when one day I see her heart… her heart is stained.. she hope bad things for other people… she wants what she wants, without having 2nd thoughts of how other people feels.. she is a great devil fighter.. im scared of her.. I don’t want to be her friend anymore…
Once in a family camp, we are assigned in the same room, because of my great fear of her attitude, I re-arrange the room assignment because I don’t want to be with her. I have hurt her, but I am only protecting myself, because I saw her heart.
She knew many things about the one guy I love and prayed for, I didn’t expect that she would one day do what I am so afraid of her. To have my love away from me. Right now she hasn’t stolen him yet. But she is in the process. It hurts me to see like that, also it hurts me to see what she is doing to me. She is more aggressive than me, she is more ready, she have a strong heart, and I don’t she knew my fear, and she is taking advantage of it, everything is so hard for me. I want to cry. Always, everyday, morning, afternoon and evening.. I am so afraid of her. She sees me as an enemy. The problem with me is that I am full of fear that is why the devil taking advantage of it. The devil is so wise. He even uses this woman against me. With this problem, GOD is not being glorified.. I am sinning. Because how could I continue to stay and live in fear if I have GOD in me. I am oh so relying on my strength and continue holding back from GOD’s promises… She complicates my life, and I don’t want her win. Oh GOD please continue to help me… I can always feel your works, you saving me repeatedly. . thank YOU
Once in a family camp, we are assigned in the same room, because of my great fear of her attitude, I re-arrange the room assignment because I don’t want to be with her. I have hurt her, but I am only protecting myself, because I saw her heart.
She knew many things about the one guy I love and prayed for, I didn’t expect that she would one day do what I am so afraid of her. To have my love away from me. Right now she hasn’t stolen him yet. But she is in the process. It hurts me to see like that, also it hurts me to see what she is doing to me. She is more aggressive than me, she is more ready, she have a strong heart, and I don’t she knew my fear, and she is taking advantage of it, everything is so hard for me. I want to cry. Always, everyday, morning, afternoon and evening.. I am so afraid of her. She sees me as an enemy. The problem with me is that I am full of fear that is why the devil taking advantage of it. The devil is so wise. He even uses this woman against me. With this problem, GOD is not being glorified.. I am sinning. Because how could I continue to stay and live in fear if I have GOD in me. I am oh so relying on my strength and continue holding back from GOD’s promises… She complicates my life, and I don’t want her win. Oh GOD please continue to help me… I can always feel your works, you saving me repeatedly. . thank YOU
Thursday, July 15, 2010
101 for boys and girls
wrote this during the brownout yesterday, this things been in my thought since July 12, 2010 to July 14, 2010 ^_^
- Know, love, trust and fear GOD
- pray, pray more, pray a lot, pray hard on your knees
- Look around
- beauty fades, character won’t, so don’t go for beauty, you won’t be happy
- learn to see one’s heart
- know who you are
- know your heart
- be stable in decision making
- know that love is given without expectations
- know how to court (girls and boys)
- don’t go to where you see chance, you create them
- get over your past (no excess baggage), let go of fear, let go of doubt and worry (easy say things, hard to do)
- take risk, there’s no insurance for love, but assurance is a no challenge thing
- clear your intention (boys)
- know how to entertain (girls)
- know the right words
- be ready with competence, be confident, don’t lose heart (boys)
- know who to give chance (girls)
- know how and when to ask
- show faithfulness, don’t flirt (boys and girls)
- guard you heart & eyes, man may not see, but GOD can see
- if it’s GOD’s will, it will, never doubt, one will know if HE is at work, GOD’s will is never easy to understand, and definitely hard to follow, but it will always be worth it and fulfilling in the end
- give time and effort, love is giving not investing, while be willing to spend is part, but not a requirement
- action and words, speak and work together
- remember the Filipino saying “kapag may tiyaga may nilaga” in English saying “Patience is a virtue”.. same point anyway haha
- know how to love
- 1 Corinthians 13:1-8, read, understand, follow and apply what is love in the Bible
- learn how to love
- selfishness cannot give love
- pride will get you nowhere
- face consequences, we are subject to it
- blaming is never a thing, don’t blame anyone with your words and actions, its yours not theirs, grow up
- think a lot
- know when to listen
- know when to understand
- be without conditions
- revenge has to have no room, so forgive as much as you do
- it is like math.. full of proving (boys)
- check, analyze, take time and study (girls)
- grow, learn and mature
- know how, when to wait
- never settle for anything less, GOD wants the best for her daughter (girls)
- ask for wisdom, GOD give it to those who listen
- Be ready: prepare to be ready, make sure your ready, and to be ready is to know all of these, because if you are ready, GOD will give you what HE have for you, else it will be wasted
while writing this, got one person on my mind...
if someone feels rejected, maybe he really is not, maybe he just ain't ready.. thats why he commit small mistakes that made him feel rejected.. ^_^
i am still.. still waiting.. waiting.. waiting for this person.. ^_^
GOD provided me wisdom.. and i put all my trust in HIM ^_^
- Know, love, trust and fear GOD
- pray, pray more, pray a lot, pray hard on your knees
- Look around
- beauty fades, character won’t, so don’t go for beauty, you won’t be happy
- learn to see one’s heart
- know who you are
- know your heart
- be stable in decision making
- know that love is given without expectations
- know how to court (girls and boys)
- don’t go to where you see chance, you create them
- get over your past (no excess baggage), let go of fear, let go of doubt and worry (easy say things, hard to do)
- take risk, there’s no insurance for love, but assurance is a no challenge thing
- clear your intention (boys)
- know how to entertain (girls)
- know the right words
- be ready with competence, be confident, don’t lose heart (boys)
- know who to give chance (girls)
- know how and when to ask
- show faithfulness, don’t flirt (boys and girls)
- guard you heart & eyes, man may not see, but GOD can see
- if it’s GOD’s will, it will, never doubt, one will know if HE is at work, GOD’s will is never easy to understand, and definitely hard to follow, but it will always be worth it and fulfilling in the end
- give time and effort, love is giving not investing, while be willing to spend is part, but not a requirement
- action and words, speak and work together
- remember the Filipino saying “kapag may tiyaga may nilaga” in English saying “Patience is a virtue”.. same point anyway haha
- know how to love
- 1 Corinthians 13:1-8, read, understand, follow and apply what is love in the Bible
- learn how to love
- selfishness cannot give love
- pride will get you nowhere
- face consequences, we are subject to it
- blaming is never a thing, don’t blame anyone with your words and actions, its yours not theirs, grow up
- think a lot
- know when to listen
- know when to understand
- be without conditions
- revenge has to have no room, so forgive as much as you do
- it is like math.. full of proving (boys)
- check, analyze, take time and study (girls)
- grow, learn and mature
- know how, when to wait
- never settle for anything less, GOD wants the best for her daughter (girls)
- ask for wisdom, GOD give it to those who listen
- Be ready: prepare to be ready, make sure your ready, and to be ready is to know all of these, because if you are ready, GOD will give you what HE have for you, else it will be wasted
while writing this, got one person on my mind...
if someone feels rejected, maybe he really is not, maybe he just ain't ready.. thats why he commit small mistakes that made him feel rejected.. ^_^
i am still.. still waiting.. waiting.. waiting for this person.. ^_^
GOD provided me wisdom.. and i put all my trust in HIM ^_^
Thursday, July 1, 2010
trusting GOD.. folowing HIS will.. and just have FAITH
GOD is truly mysterious hehehe sometimes HE will make you do things and put you in situations you won't understand...provide you wisdom you dont know where it came from....its really hard to follow HIS will...i did wrestle too,i question what HE is asking me to do..once I asked HIM to stop everything, and change HIS will to me because everything is so complicated and im having a hard time and having a hard feelings...i cried in pain, HE is merciful ah, in an instant HE did.. then HE gave me this cold treatment..."kills me" then what happen next I suffer, when I realize that I really have to follow HIS will, i ask forgiveness and promise that whetever it takes I will follow, He still provide and blessed me in that situation.. and continually HE is still so faithful to me..if sometimes Im in hardship of HIS will.. I would tell HIM that right now I don't understand and Im truly having a hard time, GOD knows one's heart,so HE knew if I am lying or just acting..I would ask HIM that I need some answer then amazingly HE will give..if sometimes i doubt & worry because it really do happen,HE would like whisper and slap this words on my face.. "have I not proven enough,I said wait & trust ME" yes ofcourse what a hard headed individual I can be to GOD, HE just worked and I know, yet I still doubt and worry...so shame on me right?!!! haha ^_^ but come to think of it.. my relationship with GOD is geniune... not all are given this chance to be this close to HIM.. and i think not everyone had the chance to really follow on HIS will.. its amazing how GOD did it.. it amazing how gracious HE can be to me for me to hear HIM, know HIM, understand HIM and follow HIM... you know the bottom line for this relationship is FAITH.. ^_^ Oh well, its a nice nice feeling ... love it.. ^_^
Friday, March 5, 2010
The next time I will love
The next time I will love, I will love someone na pinili ni GOD for me, someone inutos ni GOD na mahalin ko. And whoever he is.. I will accept him for who he is…and if he is really my GOD’s will I know he will accept me for whom iam…
The next time I will love, I will love someone na pinili ni GOD for me, someone inutos ni GOD na mahalin ko. Paano ko malalaman? Maybe.. I have to open my eyes, ears, mind and heart to hear, see, understand and know… ^^, sometimes baka sila pa yung tao we least expect.. baka sila yung opposite natin? Maybe isang way to know is… with this person along the way malalaman natin na madami si GOD gusto ituro satin….malay mo yun will ni GOD sakin nakita ko na siya… but siya hindi pa niya alam na siya yung will ni GOD for me , or maybe alam na din niya hindi ko lang alam na alam na niya hehehe ^^,
The next time I will love, I will love someone na pinili ni GOD for me, someone inutos ni GOD na mahalin ko. Paano ko malalaman? Maybe.. I have to open my eyes, ears, mind and heart to hear, see, understand and know… ^^, sometimes baka sila pa yung tao we least expect.. baka sila yung opposite natin? Maybe isang way to know is… with this person along the way malalaman natin na madami si GOD gusto ituro satin….malay mo yun will ni GOD sakin nakita ko na siya… but siya hindi pa niya alam na siya yung will ni GOD for me , or maybe alam na din niya hindi ko lang alam na alam na niya hehehe ^^,
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Psalm 31
Psalm 31
For the director of music. A psalm of David.
1 In you, O LORD, I have taken refuge;
let me never be put to shame;
deliver me in your righteousness.
2 Turn your ear to me,
come quickly to my rescue;
be my rock of refuge,
a strong fortress to save me.
3 Since you are my rock and my fortress,
for the sake of your name lead and guide me.
4 Free me from the trap that is set for me,
for you are my refuge.
5 Into your hands I commit my spirit;
redeem me, O LORD, the God of truth.
6 I hate those who cling to worthless idols;
I trust in the LORD.
7 I will be glad and rejoice in your love,
for you saw my affliction
and knew the anguish of my soul.
8 You have not handed me over to the enemy
but have set my feet in a spacious place.
9 Be merciful to me, O LORD, for I am in distress;
my eyes grow weak with sorrow,
my soul and my body with grief.
10 My life is consumed by anguish
and my years by groaning;
my strength fails because of my affliction,
and my bones grow weak.
11 Because of all my enemies,
I am the utter contempt of my neighbors;
I am a dread to my friends—
those who see me on the street flee from me.
12 I am forgotten by them as though I were dead;
I have become like broken pottery.
13 For I hear the slander of many;
there is terror on every side;
they conspire against me
and plot to take my life.
14 But I trust in you, O LORD;
I say, "You are my God."
15 My times are in your hands;
deliver me from my enemies
and from those who pursue me.
16 Let your face shine on your servant;
save me in your unfailing love.
17 Let me not be put to shame, O LORD,
for I have cried out to you;
but let the wicked be put to shame
and lie silent in the grave.
18 Let their lying lips be silenced,
for with pride and contempt
they speak arrogantly against the righteous.
19 How great is your goodness,
which you have stored up for those who fear you,
which you bestow in the sight of men
on those who take refuge in you.
20 In the shelter of your presence you hide them
from the intrigues of men;
in your dwelling you keep them safe
from accusing tongues.
21 Praise be to the LORD,
for he showed his wonderful love to me
when I was in a besieged city.
22 In my alarm I said,
"I am cut off from your sight!"
Yet you heard my cry for mercy
when I called to you for help.
23 Love the LORD, all his saints!
The LORD preserves the faithful,
but the proud he pays back in full.
24 Be strong and take heart,
all you who hope in the LORD.
--> amen to this ^_^
Have u ever felt the feeling when you’re reading the Bible (e.g. Psalm 31) that you feel like floating, so full of joy and peace and suddenly for no reason you’re trembling shaking crying and tears flowing? because you felt that you don’t deserve these, but GOD just rewarded you a moment of this and lets you feel the feeling because you trust HIM so much that you put you’re hope in HIM…even the future is unseen… ^_^ and you don’t know how thank HIM for how amazing HE is… ^_^
For the director of music. A psalm of David.
1 In you, O LORD, I have taken refuge;
let me never be put to shame;
deliver me in your righteousness.
2 Turn your ear to me,
come quickly to my rescue;
be my rock of refuge,
a strong fortress to save me.
3 Since you are my rock and my fortress,
for the sake of your name lead and guide me.
4 Free me from the trap that is set for me,
for you are my refuge.
5 Into your hands I commit my spirit;
redeem me, O LORD, the God of truth.
6 I hate those who cling to worthless idols;
I trust in the LORD.
7 I will be glad and rejoice in your love,
for you saw my affliction
and knew the anguish of my soul.
8 You have not handed me over to the enemy
but have set my feet in a spacious place.
9 Be merciful to me, O LORD, for I am in distress;
my eyes grow weak with sorrow,
my soul and my body with grief.
10 My life is consumed by anguish
and my years by groaning;
my strength fails because of my affliction,
and my bones grow weak.
11 Because of all my enemies,
I am the utter contempt of my neighbors;
I am a dread to my friends—
those who see me on the street flee from me.
12 I am forgotten by them as though I were dead;
I have become like broken pottery.
13 For I hear the slander of many;
there is terror on every side;
they conspire against me
and plot to take my life.
14 But I trust in you, O LORD;
I say, "You are my God."
15 My times are in your hands;
deliver me from my enemies
and from those who pursue me.
16 Let your face shine on your servant;
save me in your unfailing love.
17 Let me not be put to shame, O LORD,
for I have cried out to you;
but let the wicked be put to shame
and lie silent in the grave.
18 Let their lying lips be silenced,
for with pride and contempt
they speak arrogantly against the righteous.
19 How great is your goodness,
which you have stored up for those who fear you,
which you bestow in the sight of men
on those who take refuge in you.
20 In the shelter of your presence you hide them
from the intrigues of men;
in your dwelling you keep them safe
from accusing tongues.
21 Praise be to the LORD,
for he showed his wonderful love to me
when I was in a besieged city.
22 In my alarm I said,
"I am cut off from your sight!"
Yet you heard my cry for mercy
when I called to you for help.
23 Love the LORD, all his saints!
The LORD preserves the faithful,
but the proud he pays back in full.
24 Be strong and take heart,
all you who hope in the LORD.
--> amen to this ^_^
Have u ever felt the feeling when you’re reading the Bible (e.g. Psalm 31) that you feel like floating, so full of joy and peace and suddenly for no reason you’re trembling shaking crying and tears flowing? because you felt that you don’t deserve these, but GOD just rewarded you a moment of this and lets you feel the feeling because you trust HIM so much that you put you’re hope in HIM…even the future is unseen… ^_^ and you don’t know how thank HIM for how amazing HE is… ^_^
Monday, January 18, 2010
What to do until LOVE finds you – Michelle Mckinley Hammond poem # 3
I have watched
and waited
for my knight
to come riding over the hill
of my desires…
watching…
waiting…
to see him
dressed in white
upon a horse
big and strong
as his shoulders
where I will lay my head
as he carries me away
to the promised land
of dreams come true
and joy eternal…
watching…
waiting
peering from the window
of my fortress
my rock
my strong tower
with my heart in GOD’s hands
left there for safe keeping
I peek expectantly
Over my Father’s shoulder
Every now and then
Settling my back into the warmth of HIS lap
I watch…
I wait…
Trusting that my expectation
Will arrive
Beautifully
Resplendent
Covered in the dew
That falls from heaven
Being all that I hoped for
Better than I dreamed
Loving me
The way I want to be loved
Freely
Unconditionally
Adoring me
As if I were
The best thing since sliced bread…
You know
That when-a-man-loves-a-woman
How-Christ-loves-the-church kinda love
Too high
Too deep
For me to truly comprehend
But it sures sounds good to me…
So I watch
And I wait
Sometimes feeling like Rapunzel
Sometimes feeling like Sleeping Beauty…
Waiting…
Waiting
Sometimes conscious
Sometimes not
Hope keeping the light shining
Like a beacon in my eyes
Beckoning my knight
Should he lose his way
But for now
I lay content in the arms of my Saviour
Letting HIM rock me
And love me
Like no other lover can…
And I learn of love
Of life
And giving…
And I wait…
Cleared-eyed
With no misguided expectations
No desperate desires
No distorted views
Binding me
Marring my judgement
I am free
To say yes
To say no
According to the King’s leading
In spite of my flesh
Or my heart
Only a GOD-appointed knight
Will I receive
No matter how long the wait
I will wait…
I will wait for HIM…
I will wait for him
Who is willed by HIM…
and waited
for my knight
to come riding over the hill
of my desires…
watching…
waiting…
to see him
dressed in white
upon a horse
big and strong
as his shoulders
where I will lay my head
as he carries me away
to the promised land
of dreams come true
and joy eternal…
watching…
waiting
peering from the window
of my fortress
my rock
my strong tower
with my heart in GOD’s hands
left there for safe keeping
I peek expectantly
Over my Father’s shoulder
Every now and then
Settling my back into the warmth of HIS lap
I watch…
I wait…
Trusting that my expectation
Will arrive
Beautifully
Resplendent
Covered in the dew
That falls from heaven
Being all that I hoped for
Better than I dreamed
Loving me
The way I want to be loved
Freely
Unconditionally
Adoring me
As if I were
The best thing since sliced bread…
You know
That when-a-man-loves-a-woman
How-Christ-loves-the-church kinda love
Too high
Too deep
For me to truly comprehend
But it sures sounds good to me…
So I watch
And I wait
Sometimes feeling like Rapunzel
Sometimes feeling like Sleeping Beauty…
Waiting…
Waiting
Sometimes conscious
Sometimes not
Hope keeping the light shining
Like a beacon in my eyes
Beckoning my knight
Should he lose his way
But for now
I lay content in the arms of my Saviour
Letting HIM rock me
And love me
Like no other lover can…
And I learn of love
Of life
And giving…
And I wait…
Cleared-eyed
With no misguided expectations
No desperate desires
No distorted views
Binding me
Marring my judgement
I am free
To say yes
To say no
According to the King’s leading
In spite of my flesh
Or my heart
Only a GOD-appointed knight
Will I receive
No matter how long the wait
I will wait…
I will wait for HIM…
I will wait for him
Who is willed by HIM…
What to do until LOVE finds you – Michelle Mckinley Hammond poem # 2
I am free
Free to love as never before
Throwing open
Windows and doors
Rejoicing in my wholeness
I see clearly
As I run with purpose
Choosing the right road
No longer stumbling
Over my own neediness
I move
Even paced
Head high
Shoulders back
Heart firmly in place
Making choices with my head
Ignoring the demands of the flesh
I stretch my spirit
And respond to GOD’s voice
Running eagerly
Toward HIS instruction
Caught up in HIS potent promises
I am bound to HIM
A willing love slave
Yet freer than I’ve even been
Finding the lost pieces of myself
I foolishly gave to others
Casting pearls before the swine
Once weeping
Over the trampled pieces of my heart
I am now restored to give again
To one more deserving
I discover I am
Lost in Him
Only to be found in the truth
Stronger than ever
Ready to love better
Because now I have more to give
And I will give
Carefully
Abundantly
And only at His leading
And in that understanding
I rest
I fly
I am free!
Free to love as never before
Throwing open
Windows and doors
Rejoicing in my wholeness
I see clearly
As I run with purpose
Choosing the right road
No longer stumbling
Over my own neediness
I move
Even paced
Head high
Shoulders back
Heart firmly in place
Making choices with my head
Ignoring the demands of the flesh
I stretch my spirit
And respond to GOD’s voice
Running eagerly
Toward HIS instruction
Caught up in HIS potent promises
I am bound to HIM
A willing love slave
Yet freer than I’ve even been
Finding the lost pieces of myself
I foolishly gave to others
Casting pearls before the swine
Once weeping
Over the trampled pieces of my heart
I am now restored to give again
To one more deserving
I discover I am
Lost in Him
Only to be found in the truth
Stronger than ever
Ready to love better
Because now I have more to give
And I will give
Carefully
Abundantly
And only at His leading
And in that understanding
I rest
I fly
I am free!
What to do until LOVE finds you – Michelle Mckinley Hammond poem # 1
I want a man
Not just any man
I want GOD’s man
Hand picked
Kingdom appointed
For such a woman as this
I’m looking for a love
Not just any love
I want the GOD kind of love
Filing a heart that beats
To the kingdom’s rhythm
Unadulterated
Holy Ghost saturated
The kinda love that
Can’t be rated
Poured out
Runnin’ ovah
Like water in a glass
Already full of good things
Smooth as a silk
Yet tough as rope
Wrapping around my soul
Keepin’ it all together
Forever
With room enough for me
To be
A woman
Not just any woman
GOD’s woman
Whole and free
To love you
The way I want you to love me
With a love
Not just any love
But the GOD kind of love
Rich as a sinful dessert
Pure as tried gold
The kind of love that can hold
Onto your hand
And GOD’s at the very same time
Delivered from all other ties that bind
And yes
I’m free enough to wait…
For a man
Not just any man
But the man
Who understands
And knows what love means
And lives what GOD says…
And wants what I want
A real love
A strong love
A tall love
Agape love.
GOD’s love.
Not just any man
I want GOD’s man
Hand picked
Kingdom appointed
For such a woman as this
I’m looking for a love
Not just any love
I want the GOD kind of love
Filing a heart that beats
To the kingdom’s rhythm
Unadulterated
Holy Ghost saturated
The kinda love that
Can’t be rated
Poured out
Runnin’ ovah
Like water in a glass
Already full of good things
Smooth as a silk
Yet tough as rope
Wrapping around my soul
Keepin’ it all together
Forever
With room enough for me
To be
A woman
Not just any woman
GOD’s woman
Whole and free
To love you
The way I want you to love me
With a love
Not just any love
But the GOD kind of love
Rich as a sinful dessert
Pure as tried gold
The kind of love that can hold
Onto your hand
And GOD’s at the very same time
Delivered from all other ties that bind
And yes
I’m free enough to wait…
For a man
Not just any man
But the man
Who understands
And knows what love means
And lives what GOD says…
And wants what I want
A real love
A strong love
A tall love
Agape love.
GOD’s love.
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