HOME is spelled UECM

What is a home church?
The internet defines it as a place where a group of Christians meet and worship together, friend of mine defines it as place where he is comfortable to go to and listen to sermons. Me on the other hand, defines it as UECM.

During my teenage years in YGC, I accepted Christ as my Lord and Savior through a mentor, who is now a pastor. I accepted, but my spiritual life didn’t grow from there. I attend Bible studies, asked questions and had more and more ideas who Christ is. But I didn’t pursue living a life like Christ did. I went from one church to another, through invites of friends who attend other churches, I enjoyed the camps and fellowships with friends; however eventually led me to back-slide.

When I reached the age of 22, I started to feel the emptiness inside. Being incomplete despite of all the achievements, I started to hunger for God’s words. That time, I knew, I needed GOD in my life and I needed a home church. I resigned from my work, and started to seek for a church. I prayed so hard for GOD to lead me. Then I start to church hopping every day-literally. I attended catholic churches from Monday to Sunday, because I felt so shy to go back to a Christian church after being gone for some time.

After a month of church hopping, one Friday afternoon, I met 3 of my good friends namely Claudette, Ryan Ching and CCK, in one unexpected occasion. Right there and then they invited me to attend the Friday Young-Pro fellowship of UECM, but I refused, so they invited me to attend the Sunday worship instead. I said “okey,Yes to the Sunday worship”. When I got home, I prayed about it. Even so,since I gave my words, I just went.

It was January 21, 2007 the first time I attended UECM. That day, I knew I am home. Thank GOD. Since then, I didn’t have to church hop everyday anymore, I never left, and year after years I grew with my spiritual walk, then eventually started serving.

In every home, we encountered problems and issues, but it is not a reason to leave home. As we mature, we should see it as a reason to pray and seek His wisdom more. You and I are sinners saved by grace, part of the body of home, we are family. I don’t know if I’ll ever leave UECM, only GOD knows! What’s important right now is that my relationship with GOD is established here.

How about you, have you found your home church? Or do you know someone who needs a home church?
Lets start inviting them home… 

Taming my tongue

he crushed me

Its almost 3 weeks now, when a friend of mine treats me colder and colder…. from the beginning, I can sense that there is something wrong…

He started acting like not of a friend…he refuse to reply with my text messages… for 2 weeks I tried not to make a move to ask, but i cant help it, so i did, i asked him last Saturday… I thought his text message was a good reply, but it was not, he said it himself.

2 weeks ago I felt he don’t want me to ride his car… bec. I asked him if ill bring a car, or not, normally he will reply, but he did not.

It just so happened that the past 2 weeks, im really struggling with many issues, I needed a friend, just a friend..with all the problems.but he was never there, or should i say he refused to be there, I kept texting him because I needed him, but he never replied.If he replies, very limited. And very late. Always telling me im busy.

Yesterday, we talked, part we planned to meet to help me with my speech, but i insisted for a talk, I heard the words I fear to hear..For all he said, i can just summarized it to this…. I don’t love you mj, so pls give me a break!

But I never asked him to love me, I only asked him to be my friend..
he told me that he will help me with my speech.. he said he had no schedule that day and he can help me with it. By 4pm he changed his words,  He will only be available up to 6pm… he will have a date, no words from me..
Before that, when we're on the way to drink milk tea, I asked him if he likes to share umbrella with me, he refused.

And on the way, in my heart I know, I like to treat him for a milk tea, i know he knew that that because i told him earlier, but as we arrive the tea shop, he immediately bought one for himself.

Then by 530pm, when we're already in a friend's house, he changed his plan.. of leaving 6pm.. he said, the speech is more important so he decide to stay, and not leave at all.

Then when we’re about to eat dinner, he told one of our friend that he will ride his car, the usual is, he rides my car. I felt so strange and so bad. Even our friends can tell there is something wrong, I know he sensed it that I'm not feeling good anymore, so he asked where i am passing by, tho he knows where, the he decided to ride my car.
It was ery painful, as a friend, I know he has someone else, that he loves someone else, I never intervened and instead supported him… but why did he act the way he acted? He acted as if he is not my friend. I didn’t asked him to love me as a lover, for I know who I am in his life, I only asked him to love me as a friend… but he acted like an enemy to me. So painful.
I love him as a friend, just a friend, but he misunderstood it…

tough week, tough love

This week has really been a though week, 1^st my shoti left for Singapore, informing the whole family 5 days before departure. One thing that my dad told my shoti that makes me glad is when he told him that if he finds it hard there he could always go back home, what a father words, never did I heard such a care from my dad. The moment my shoti left, all I felt from my mom that shoti is the only child he have, that she has forgotten about me and shobe. It was hurtful, but im trying to understand, and that time she feels terribly sick, so she is so depressed at the same time. Her depression is causing her to make unreasonable decisions in life. she told me, and letting me know her plans of adopting a far relative, so that she will be able to help and have a companion, yes! Its not bad to help, but the responsibility of sending her to school at the same time the expense or having her is big burden for my part. I told them I can’t, but they seem blinded by the situation, her deceased, because they all thought she might have cancer. So they are like pressuring me and of course conflict arise the family for the past days. They can’t understand how I see things that I cant say yes to the responsibility because I am the one providing, so I know, I know I can’t and would be hard for me to provide, to hire a maid is okey, but to adopt someone is not okey that’s a very 2 big different thing. Then ofcorse I would like to open up to my 2 trusted friends, but they are both busy, yeah quiet hurting too. But I have no choice but stick to GOD, and realize that HE alone can give me comfort, strength and trust that I need. I move on in life, knowing I have GOD with me, life seems heavy, but since GOD is there HE provides people who will help pray with me, there goes these 2 sets of couples that by HIS grace and way HE provided and accidentally meant to met me in this times. Ofcourse GOD also provides me wisdom to handle the situation, first I almost fail how to handle it, I almost breakdown, but then as I pray and asked HIM to save me from this, HE did. My dad was crying over my mom’s health, the very first time I knew and saw my dad cried for my mom, he don’t want to see my mom suffer from the sickness we thought (cancer), he is so uneasy, full of worry and very troubled, it was a blessing in away, because I felt happy knowing that my dad loves my dad so much. Then came this day, my mom is cancer free. No cancer at all, very normal, it just happened she encountered an amature doctor, oh well still thank GOD that there’s this I know very experienced doctor to check my mom. And now, not that our troubles are over; I am also blessed with sale. Hehe indeed GOD is good if we will just stand firm with our faith.  

M.A. is a girl...

M.A. is a girl...
at first she tries to be close to me..
i questioned...
maybe.. maybe.. maybe..
then she seems nice, friendly and happy...
so i stopped doubting..
i liked her...
i wanted her to be my friend..
treated her like a sister...
one day, a group text which i 1st requested her to send,
then later on asked her not to send,
was sent...
i questioned...
i tried not to doubt...
the next day ,
she invited me to attend a food fair with her..
then told her ill not use my car..
"let ride the LRT i say"..
the day itself, when i was calling her,
she didn't answer..
that time, i started to ques her again...
then thoughts of her words came to my mind,
"achi mj is influencial, successful, well- known,"
i cannot stopped myself from questioning her..
she talks at the back of other people,
she talks about her friends,
as they say,
be careful with a person who talks behind her friends..
she will talk about you too..
then she speak and blame others for being irresponsible..
that stopped me.
I need to pray and discern for the friendship.

Singapore

last thursday, i heard a news, news that saddens my heart, my brother is leaving for another country, to find for his path, a new life for him, a new hope for him.

at first i was so surprised, he informed the family 5 days before his flight, that's so sudden, but that decision is clear, clear enough for the family not to stop him for what he wants to do. the first day, i find it unfair, so selfish, why so sudden i asked my self, i felt sad, missing him already even if he is still here, the prayed to GOD that since i cannot do anything about it, and i cannot be emotional, it wont help, so i prayed and entrusted everything in HIS hands, i may not be present in my brother's life there, but i believe in the power of GOD that he will protect and guide my shoti. after that in my heart i know i have let go of my little grown up brother, no worries at all. just full hope that he will find what he is looking for in life. I am happy, where he will be happy. so then and there i decided to have the coming sunday going out as a family. but it didnt happened, we ended up eating as a whole family here at house :)

last monday and tuesday, we just spent the night as one of our last normal , used to be family, we enjoyed the night. just so us, family. I thought it like my brother is just getting married, heading to a new life. reality bites, this is his break, and as a sister i should be happy for him, support him more and pray for him more, not stopped him. and accept reality that life is like this, we all have to move on, we all have to get out of our comfort zones and go on with our lives. I believe that GOD hears my prayer, he will protect my brother, and that leaves me nothing to worry about.