this is the truth

i really want to get married..

i will keep my doors open..

i will wait for the right guy to come..

with a right attitude in waiting...

waiting for GOD...

doing what is good..

be good.. please GOD..

i will resist all the temptation..

will be filled with wisdom,

and use it in discerning...

i'd rather wait than rush,

and be with the wrong one

soon..

soon to come .. the love of my life.. :D hehehe

for me and not for me

when i start to write this..

my thought is.. marriage not for me..

the past few days, i've been very busy, busy with my career, tho i am not yet blessed by GOD financially, still i know it will come soon, my hope never fails me.. and i will persevere, GOD knows my hard work, he will give me what i deserve. at the same time i am busy with what i am busy of.. hehe

anyway, the past days also.. im thinking that..no matter how much i want to get married and have children, still it is what GOD wants for me will be fulfilled.. i just stopped looking for love, if GOD will give to me, HE will, in HIS time, if HE will not, it certainly will not be also.. i just thought that maybe marriage and having kids is not for me, even i desperately wanted it. but still i will rejoice to the plans GOD has for me. i think GOD wants me to focus with my career more as of the meantime, for this is what HE gave me now. so with everything. Praise HIM.

men

in all aspect of life, are problem giver. whew!

last words

may this be my last words from me to you,

i am trying my best to help you, but still.. it will be all up to you..

for you are a man, and i am a woman..

our faith is being tried and tested..

we are shaken and tempted,

that is why we need to persevere..

the time is soon to come, very soon..

yet the final decision is not mine but GOD's..

i am hoping and praying to see you,

because it is still you whom i want to give my smiles,

the smiles i once gave you..

may we know, and be willing, and forgive unconditionally..

may we learn Christ love and be like Him..

i will be still, i will wait, i will endure, i will be praying..

i put all my faith, hope and love to Jesus..

for HE is my Lord, my Savior, my Brother, my Leader, my Protector and perfecter of faith.

many says i am a fool, still i believe.

my heart grieves, still i rejoice.

i will fight, this is me, this is how i love.

one day, i will know the answer.

i am excited and will know i have no regrets.

when that time comes there will be no turning back for me.

everyday

to the one i love:

everyday, i still believe.

still your journey i would like to take and to live.

everyday, i still fight to strive.

still your face i would like to see when i have arrive.

everyday, i kneel and pray.

that GOD would give way to strengthen my heart.

everyday, it is everyday.

i trust you, for i trust Jesus who is at lead,

and GOD who is in control.

faith and hope.

and love is the greatest.

i ask GOD why?.. why there are so many trials and temptation..

but as i discern.. i praise GOD for HIS plans are perfect..

my faith is being tested and it makes me persevere..

for this reason i believe.. ;)

be ready

just now.. im not sure.. and i am currently not that happy too..

GOD could possibly choose not the one i love for me..

HE could possibly pick the one who loves me..

i have to be ready when GOD finally decide..

i have to submit..

i just pray that my instinct is wrong..

i pray that the one i love will run the race faster ..

faster and soon finish it..

i still want him to win..

i still believe in him and trust him..

Jesus, you know the desire of my heart, i pray that he wins.

but again, i will still submit to the plan GOD has for me,

possible i may not love it, but certainly GOD knows the best for me.

still in the end i will rejoice.

so that's the feeling

yesterday and today,

im feeling what he is feeling,

and by faith i am fighting,

fighting the uncertainty..

it is really hard,

and i thank GOD for this,

HE make a way for me to feel how it feels,

so it is this painful,

for a long time,

he was enduring,

and me also enduring,

both felt pain,

both love,

both suffer,

both are put under trial,

oh GOD,

oh GOD of Abraham,

GOD of David,

through Jesus please hear my cry...

help me and him fulfill your will my Father..

tho in human perspective it seems impossible..

but in YOU oh GOD who created all things,

nothing is impossible..

i believe in YOUR majesty and power..

for YOU alone are GOD.

misinterpreted kindness

today, this is what i pray..

may the kindness that i am doing may not be misinterpreted..

many times when i showed kindness to people, i am judge and misinterpreted..

sometimes i get to suffer..

some thought maybe it is for a reason or for a purpose..

i am hurt.. or may be hurt.. but

i just kept telling myself it is between them and GOD if they will judge me that way..

as long as my intentions and motives are clear.. i am clear..

i always pray to GOD that and may my intentions be clear with what i do..

the feeling is like suffering for doing what is good..

then repeatedly i have to keep reminding myself that.. be Christ like.. be Christ like..

how can i say no to being kind.. that is my heart..

sounds proud.. but no.. the good that i do is from the heart, from GOD..

i don't know why.. i am just like that..

end times

i had a dream..

in my dream, iam not scared..
it is the end times,

i can see the country am in,

i can see the nearby countries,

i saw buildings.. they collapse down..

and water grew everywhere..
no tall building stand still..

almost all died..

only some, very few survived through the use of life jacket..

they swim to survive,
the faces, the faces..

for my family, the building where we were, didn't collapse..

i was looking for life jacket to give to my sister and mother..

i was looking for ways to save them..

we made our last will and signed on it.. and we hugged one another..

i saw two people,

with a mark of heart on their neck,

a man and a woman,

they were looking for one another and

they will find each other..

love.

i woke up, i checked my phone and it was 3:59 am..

want to sleep again,

but i knew, Jesus and GOD wants me to talk to them..

that is why after praying i decided to write..