Team Baguio Mission

Our team Baguio story, what an eye-opener and life experience..

We leave UECM December 20, 2009 around 11am then we arrived Baguio around 5pm, the group then packed the gifts for the kids and we contacted UECM workers to had our sack of donated jogging pants be delivered to us in Baguio soon haha
We then had our dinner with Pastor Demi Mier together with his wife.
Then the team had our 1st devotion with Dra. Jean. In their room, I notice a lot of food. ^_^

Mission day Day1: (Monday)
We wake up early on the 1st day of our trip, we have schedule in Ambiong, where we need to climb a mountain for 10-15 minutes to reach the day care center, where we will going to do our program with the muslim kids.. the road beside the hill is not so good but neither bad, it is about 1.5 to 2meters in width… when we reach the place, we can see that the kids belongs to the poor class… the kids enjoyed our team presentation, they also enjoyed the giveaways and prices, I can say that with these group of kids, the team 1st felt success in Christ name… one of the kids their sang the song “Who I am” by Casting Crowns, he sang it very well, he even memorized the whole song, my heart felt joy, for we can see GOD works with some of the kids there and that is the 1st time I felt how GOD works with the muslin kids.
In the afternoon around 2 to 3pm we went to SM to buy gifts for the sudden notice of exchange gift given to us by Pastor. That we’re going to have the evening in fellowship with some of the missionaries in Baguio and to some active volunteers at SNN. So by 330pm we arrive at SNN, 1st Pastor Demi Mier educate us about Muslim more and taught us how to befriend and evangelize them. We also had a question and answer set up with other volunteers and missionaries regarding Muslim. We spent the afternoon and evening in fellowship with them.
When we got back our base in Baguio ahia Jonathan lead in our devotional group meeting.

Mission day Day 2: (Tuesday)
On our 2nd day with our mission, we went to the Bry Irisan Cypress Village, the travel is not difficult, we don’t have to climb any mountain…there they also have their kinda day care center, but it is kinda small for the group so we had the lower garden to perform and to accommodate all the kids. Same class of kids, we again had our programs, giving of gifts which again the kids and parents enjoyed. In each and every programs and activity we had for them, we assure that we made them feel the spirit of Christmas and explain/share why/who do we celebrate it, for GOD’s glory.
In the afternoon the most unforgettable moment and learning I/we had, is our time/fellowship spent with Imam, or the Muslim priest at their Mosque. The group learned a lot about Muslim, if before we had this negative connotation about them, now I personally don’t, and I think same with my team mates. Instead I feel pity for them because they are near to the truth but the enemy have twisted the truth in them, like Imam, he knows the Bible very well, yet the Holy Spirit is not working in HIM, my heart is also feel wounded when he didn’t acknowledge Jesus Christ as saviour, I even ask him who would save you? He is really good in answering and twisting words. I can say that a person with a weak spiritual life and who are not very familiar with the words in the Bible would be converted to Islam hehe ^_^ the experience inside the Mosque, being with these Muslim is a treasure. If there is one thing I realize and learned about Muslim and then applied it in my life is their reason for fasting, well I don’t really agree with fasting per say, I didn’t also says that I am into their faith, because me personally I don’t believe with Mohammad, I asked Imam about fasting, then He explained it, I’ll just summarized it to this: It is their way to know how to control themselves in all the temptation of this world, including food, sexual practices and etc.. It’s for them to be holy. Then my glutton sin came to my senses. Which is I also know a long time ago, how I love eating and I always over eat myself. Also a realization that I am not glorifying GOD with my act, because sometimes when I am in my moment enjoying my eating, I am forgetting that it is from my Creator, I just get to indulge with it and enjoy its deliciousness and the satisfaction it is giving me. I fell so guilty I prayed and asked for forgiveness, and thank GOD. Since that day I kinda loose my big appetite and gluttony attitude. And I will continue to pray for it that in everything I do, eat or drink, it should be in the glory of GOD. (1Cor 10:31)
In the evening we had this prayer walk, where we will walk along Baguio, name the place, hehe well we divided ourselves into 3 groups and try to socialize with the Muslim we will meet along the way. So our group had the chance to talk with a Muslim silver jewelry vendor, I myself bought a cross earing as bridge of conversation. We ask questions and there is this one conversation that until now runs my mind. I said to the vendor, buti even Muslim kayo nag bebenta kayo ng cross… she answered me, binebenta lang yan..hindi sinasamba… so the thought came to me that this person mind is closed… she have her faith and I just prayed for her that someday she will come to know the truth.
Then we again got back in our base, there ahia Elliott shared something about worry in our devotion group.

Mission day Day 3: (Wednesday)
This 3rd day was the most tiring day of all, we again proceeded with our mission, in the morning we went to Crystal Cave outreach, same thing happen, we perform, gift giving and made them feel Christmas and its meaning, but here they have prepared a special performance for us, they also sang Christmas hymms and Christian song for us, which lightens our hearts. This group is supported by DECS, and here my heart was really touched, because I can really see how the teachers touched their students heart, they don’t just teach, they love and care, they are really after for the kids/teens welfare and studies. How I love this group. And here I keep on thanking GOD, thanking HIM over and over of how amazing HE is. HE is the best indeed. These group of kids even gave us creative cards, that we hope to show and share to UECM people if given the chance. They just gave me the color that really fits me pink and red with floral attached to it hehe how I love it. ^_^
In the afternoon we went to Pastor Demi Mier church in Bibak Bible Church, still in the process of construction, not yet fully-constructed, there we we’re able to interact with lots of little kids. Same activities happened. This is our last schedule so we consumed all the prices with the kids. I am surprise how Pastor did the clothes giving, he made a bazaar for the kids, all the clothes are aligned on the floor then the kids also are lined up. They will fit the clothes they choose/like and when it fits, it’s theirs hehe ^_^ ow how cute the scene hehe Here I felt a feeling of great thankfulness to our GOD, how HE works with Pastor Mier and his family. Hope we include them and their missions in our prayers so that they may continue to bring glory to GOD, and may they able to save more Muslim lives that are born with twisted faith.
We still got an hour to relax, some of us went to the market and buy some goodies, and some went to Burnham Park. After, we had our dinner with Pastor Demi Mier and his family together with achi Grace Co (Dra. Jean cousin), who also helped us/assist us with our stay in Baguio.
When we got back in our base, Mars did the sharing through prayer.

Departure day:
We left PBTS around 8am, we got 2 hours to travel around Baguio before our departure time, so we consume it with this time breakdown 30-40 minutes travel to Camp John Hay, 30-40 minutes stay there, we then went to Manor Hotel stayed there for 30-40minutes. After we are on the way home to Manila, then arrive Manila around 430pm safe and sound, with glad hearts and the take home experience. With full of Joy and thanksgiving for our GOD the Father, who made all things possible.

for 2 weeks, ive been thinking of this... what if GOD is infront of me..what will I do??

hmmm... as in totoo si GOD sa harap ko ah physically or spriritually pag sa Heaven ko siya nakita... I think i won't look at HIM straight in the eyes... hindi ko kaya.. Im such a great sinner, HE knows me very well...wala me "K" to look at HIM..Iam not worthy...shame on me...who am I to see GOD's face..unless HE permits me too... ^_^ Iam only MJ Lee..no power, no authority, Iam not the creator of any..Iam just a creation...^_^I will bow down..super down.. as in if pwede i-flat sarili ko sa ground.. I will...because Im such a slave,Iam only HIS servant... If ever HE will stepped on me.. its okey.. for Iam nothing without HIM...so totally I will humble down myself...I will cry..mahihiya ako kay GOD... because I will feel so guilty... of so many many things... cry for forgiveness...HE knows all my sin, my life diba? as in... I will also cry to begged.. and cry to plead...para ma-forgive niya...I will serve HIM to the highest degree with all my heart and joy... as in... HE is my BIG BOSS.. the ONE and only...I will kiss HIS feet..It'll be an honor if I can do that...I will do all the things HE wants me to do.....

i think i cant face GOD if Iam not saved hehehe since Iam so I can... heheheand remember we are HIS children, we are not angels... ^_^

i don't want to boast about anything.. because all i want is to totally humble myself infront of GOD... here.. and there ^_^

my Faith for GOD is more of LOVE... HIS love for me and my love for HIM.. how I love to serve HIM ang everything for HIM, and humble myself for HIM... my faith is not because of rewards.. for me these rewards are bonus.. bonus.. bonus... thanks ^_^


~ December 01, 2009

GOD is such a great GOD indeed.. I couldn't as for more ^_^

James 4;7-10 Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Come near to God and he will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. Grieve, mourn and wail. Change your laughter to mourning and your joy to gloom. Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up. ^_^


this verse is so apply to me.... yesterday, last night tears went down my eyes, my heart is full of worry and fears, I seek the LORD, and HE seems mad at me because I failed to trust HIM on these thing, when I have always put all things/my life in HIS hand.. these thing is my struggle for a long time, but you know what? even if GOD is mad at me ... and didnt talked to me that long, because HE is offended by me, HE took the worry and fears away, and gave me peace, a peaceful heart, He gave me rest, then after HE gave me an earthly friend... ^_^ HE is so amazing and great indeed, my heart is overjoyed... ^_^ Praise the LORD... HE is loving indeed ^_^ I couldn't as for more ^_^

for 2 weeks, ive been thinking of this... what if GOD is infront of me..what will I do??

hmmm... as in totoo si GOD sa harap ko ah physically or spriritually pag sa Heaven ko siya nakita... I think I won't look at HIM straight in the eyes... hindi ko kaya.. Im such a great sinner, HE knows me very well...wala me "K" to look at HIM..Iam not worthy...shame on me...who am I to see GOD's face..unless HE permits me too... ^_^ Iam only MJ Lee..no power, no authority, Iam not the creator of any..Iam just a creation...^_^I will bow down..super down.. as in if pwede i-flat sarili ko sa ground.. I will...because Im such a slave,Iam only HIS servant... If ever HE will stepped on me.. its okey.. for Iam nothing without HIM...so totally I will humble down myself...I will cry..mahihiya ako kay GOD... because I will feel so guilty... of so many many things... cry for forgiveness...HE knows all my sin, my life diba? as in... I will also cry to begged.. and cry to plead...para ma-forgive niya...I will serve HIM to the highest degree with all my heart and joy... as in... HE is my BIG BOSS.. the ONE and only...I will kiss HIS feet..It'll be an honor if I can do that...I will do all the things HE wants me to do...... my life? I don't need my life... all I need is HIM...Im sure there are lots of amazing things not a human mind can imagine... with GOD, about GOD and in Heaven...wala lang napa isip lang ako...may nalimot pa ba ako?? hmmmm ^_^ kaw naisip mo na din ba??

In my dream he attacks again, he wants mom, but I know he just wants to shaken my Faith

I dreamt this between 2am to 359am....

I was in a very big house, It was old, and have lots of rooms inside…
There is this one room that seems to be special that I never tried to enter…
In my dreams mama seems to always talk with someone I can’t see, and she always insist na andun daw… she always says “sabi niya (ganun ganyan).. kaya kelangan ko….” So in my dreams I was confused who she talks too… there, Im trying to understand her…more and more…
A group of young people went to our house… they are friends of my shobe daw… they point to the mysterious room, they said there’s something evil inside…they want to explore it but they didn’t went inside… (just a typical teenager’s kakulitan)
After I went to a certain room.. there some teenagers,they are having a Bible study, so I find them doing a good thing so I didn’t bother to disturb them….
In my dream it was every night that my mom used to go out daw.. went somewhere and end up to that room inside the big old house.. kinda magulo but ganun…after she would always request everyone or anyone to just simply leave her there so inshort mag papa hatid lang siya, she was inlove with the guy inside the room that she usually talks to..she follows all his words… all…(she was possessed in a way)
I requested mama to introduce to me who is tha , but she said that he doesn’t want… so I insisted, but nothing happen
Mama in my dream would usually enter the room and ask grand ma (na usually nag hahatid daw sakanya sa room na yun) to leave her… and after the next day she would simply go back home or you will just see her lying asleep in the sala, knowing nothing, empty minded from what happen the last night, and in my dream it repeatedly happening everyday…
One time, I walked mama to the room, as I said it’s a long way to there, we even need to go out of the house to arrive to the room, but the room was just inside the house where we stay and that is also the house that we use to leave (basta dun din kami umaalis )… ako nag hatid kay mama kase I got curious sana nangyayari sakanya daw and start to mag duda…kase my mom is always empty minded…
There napatunayan ko it is the devils work… he wants mom… I never get the chance to enter the room.. also I don’t want… and he don't allow me to enter...
After, in my dream I start to think of how would I, could I save mama, and stop these things… I start thinking whether to say this to Boksu Reyes or not… then, I interviewed my grand ma about my mom.. along the way I saw Boksu, so I went to him and start to tell him everything… he believed me after proving it with himself…
I can’t remember all.. but all I can remember now is that Boksu asked me to pray… pray and pray…
Also in my dream I told Boksu that GOD answered my prayer very fast kase I was just thinking of telling him when I saw him, just in time…I said..
Then one night, again, my mom is again on her way to that room, I grabbed her and hugged her, and told the one inside that room that he can never have my mom.. I make bitbit my mom… (you know sa dream anything is possible hahaha)
The guy voice… in my dreams he sounded as someone familiar, naririnig ko siya but I never really got to understand what he says… recalling it now ah… he seems to be always talking lang…
Anyway, syempre he got mad, he have this powerful voice daw, he controls my mom daw, when you see my mom’s eyes turn green/ blue, that I can’t sure, she is being controlled daw… but my mom can’t do nothing because Iam grabbing her, there is Boksu too..walking with me while bitbit ko si mama, we we’re four actually kasama din namin si grand ma…
Then there is this force na humihila kay mama.. si grand ma she was also possessed, her eyes turns green / blue bay un… also Boksu is possessed…they are possessed to get my mom from me and returned it to him…so that time I went to a room na may table I hugged my mom… and prayed..and remembered how Boksu taught me to pray in situation like this..I prayed like this…
GOD, the Father of Abraham, the creator of Adam and Eve, the Father of Moses… the Father of Noah… I ask for YOU’re help, I love YOU GOD, and I love my mother and ayaw ko siya ibigay sakanya… pls save me and my mom…
Then nawala daw yung evil force na humihila kay mama from me… bigla daw dumating si Boksu and my grand ma.. they are normal again.. then I tell Boksu what happened and what I did and said in prayers and praise GOD… kase diba he is not aware na kase he was also possessed….
Then after I can feel the evil force is so angry and coming towards us, towards me.. in my dreams... I can feel he is becoming near.. by the force and the voice… so I hurriedly ask Boksu what to do.. kase we are aware na human lang din si Boksu and can be possessed again for I don’t know reason and why ako, Iam not possessed??
So that time, me and Boksu prayed together while I was standing na hugging my mom… I prayed like this…
GOD, the Father of Abraham, the creator of Adam and Eve, the Father of Moses… the Father of Noah… I ask for YOU’re help, I love YOU GOD, and I love my mother.. please help me.. You do not forsake… Iam YOU’re child.. and so as my mom…she is YOU’re child too…
Then there is silent… that time my eyes are close and and Iam not hearing Boksu voice na.. so in my dreams I thought that he might also again possessed… I was standing relying on GOD while hugging my mom…where I felt he is near.. so near… 1meter away from me.. then after closer.. then he whisper me something… which I can’t remember… In my dreams I planned to open my eyes.. in my heart I prayed to GOD to prepare what sight I will see when I open my eyes… so Im praying to ready myself not to be frightened to see satan face to face…not to feel fear seeing him because I have GOD in me…
When I open my eyes…
Then gsing na ako..reality na… upon waking up, It feels and seems so real, so real, na yung time that he whisper to me.. parang sa actual niya ginawa yun sa dream.. gets? well…after I thank GOD for not forsaking me again and again im my dreams, that HE is so powerful and loving to protect me even in my dreams, whenevver I call HIS name…
.. Satan always enters my dreams.... dun lang niya ako kaya attack...

Burden

The feeling is different if you know what’s your burden, what GOD has planned for you. Who you would be, what role you would do in this life to glorify HIM… sometimes it is something you do before, you are before, but we know that nothing is permanent in this World that you happen to change and now you’re not into it, before your reason is for your own, now if you know that it is GOD’s burden for you, if its GOD’s calling, the burden is like a purpose and a duty that GOD called you to do for HIS glory. You’re going to do it not for you’re sake but for other’s, a very unselfish task and service.

This burden seems to be hard, now I understand how difficult it is to know you’re burden, it is totally going to a direction in life that you didn’t planned, but HE did. Before I already got the sense maybe that is my calling but.. I ignore it many times for I don’t want it, but last night upon analyzing, finalizing, realizing that I already know it I wanted to kneel down and cry, cry for help and asked why… because it seems to be hard and impossible, it is a life that I have already turned my back on. It is really hard, even if before I was once on that path. But I remember GOD and HIS Words, that if it is GOD’s will it won’t be that hard at all, He will lead, direct and guide me, and nothing is impossible for I have HIM. And if ever that I’ll have a difficult life because of fulfilling what HE has called me, it is okey, I’ll bear the pain and hardship because if it is for GOD, it is all worth it c”,)

Maybe guys, you are wondering how did I came to know what is GOD’s planned for me, it just happen that my heart cries every time I feel so helpless with the situation, feeling the chorus part in the song of Hosanna, more and more penetrating my senses (Clear my heart and make it clean, open up my eyes to the things unseen, Show me how to love like you have love me, Break my heart for what breaks yours, Everything Iam is for your kingdoms cause), so helpless that why can’t I do something so that this won’t happen, this and that, and now its clear, that I felt this because HE wants me to do something about this… then I asked how and why, then HE give me the answer… and that is now my calling c”,) I will just pray for HIM (and guys hope you pray for me to…) that may GOD be with me in this task, so that I will be able to do it, in me bestest, for HIS glory. c”,)

I always believe that a powerful warrior needs a battalion of prayers c”,) Do YOU agree??? hehehe

sorry for some, i intentionally didn't specify yung GOD's calling for me... i want it to be between me and GOD.. Iam also a private person hahaha its kinda not obvious lang hehehe

In my dream, I was again attacked by him

In my dream, I was with a friend, she is touring me in Davao, dumaan kami sa mga houses sa Davao, it’s a hotel daw? Parang tourist rent spaces na houses or commercial houses, where there are no much commercial spaces tenants purus residential tenants lang, so madami talagang vancant, nadaanan namin madaming Chinese na nag aalay…nag ooffer ng mga thanks giving nila sa mga patay and saints, then pumasok kami sa isang house, there was my family, nag aalay, not much food compare sa neighbour na andun at nag aalay din, hindi siya full ng mga alay na food, but full siya ng mga incense and pang alay na mga parng amulets and figures, I sat and watch and tell my mom na mali yun, then sabi niya na I should do etong pag aalay kase eto ang tama, ma-blebless daw me and ma-gigive ang mga dreams and wants ko.. I said no.. after a while may kinuha me isang red na square na pang alay ata yun with a chinese charater on it, all I have to do is kinda light it ata or just place it near the wall para mag start na siya, at first sabi ko daw ok im just going to light it lang naman kaya walang masama, but yung motive ng heart ko is to have the blessings na sinasabi ng mom ko, to have all the things I want to have.. then nung palapit na ako sa wall where ilalagay ko yun, bigla ko naisip na mali pa din yun, im not glorifying GOD, and what a shame for me to do this just to have worldly blessings here on earth, so tinapon ko siya, yung red na square, my mom said why? sabay sabi ko I won’t do this, mali eto, then dun na nag start lahat… bigla umusok yung red na square parang incense siya, then may nagalit sakin, si satan yun, medyo magulo na yung mga nangyayari, ang bilis ng mga pangyayari, yung place masyadong smoky na, and naririnig ko siya nag sasalita sa dream ko that time galit nag galit sakin si satan, family ko were there pero wala sila ginagawa they watch me lang how satan attacked me, madami akong pain physically na-feel sa dream ko kase galit siya sakin sa ginawa ko, but I can’t remember na now mga ginawa niya, all the time one thing im sure I keep on calling the name of GOD.. satan seems to appear in all places sa dream ko… sa lahat.. even sa screen ng laptop… it was really scary, but by this time unlike sa other dreams ko, I can’t remember the face of him, then I saw a mini portal sa wall… una sabi ko k mama mukhang portal yun to his side, then eventually lumalaki yung portal, para siyang isang hole na tumatagos yung hands ko.. so I prayed….i keep on praying praying….then bigla andun yung aunt ko,my mom youngest sister, she was sitting on the floor na mukhang kaka anak lang, then I saw a baby near the portal na that time e palaki palang, andun banda nakaupo aunt ko, then sabi ko paano nag ka baby dito, then nasa parang cacha clothe siya o sako, then ginawa I lifted the baby along with the clothe, I didn’t even touched his flesh, then I threw him back sa portal sabi ko there you belong son of satan, sa loob ng portal nasilip ko, para siyang kakaiba, para siyang , old stadium na hindi mala Romans or Greek type stadium, I can remember it now but don’t know how to describe it, its dimmy but not super dark, but wala rin sunshine dun, parang yung stadium may malaking ring match na execution hall…??? Anyway, kumuha ako ng tubig, then sabi ko hindi eto holy water but sabi ko mainit na yung portal at lumalki, alam mo ano istura ng wall, alam mo ang papel na nasusunog? Same ganun way nasusunog yung wall, hinagis ko yung water unti unti sa portal while praying, parang walang na nangyari, the whole time I just keep on praying, then yung aunt ko bumangon and hinahanap yung baby niya, sabi ko tinapon ko nga and my family din yun din ang sabi, sinugod niya ako, she grab me, super strong siya super lakas niya, sinasaktan niya ako, kaya niya ako i-lift and ang sakit ng mga kamay niya, ang tulis ng mga nails niya, malaki mata niya while telling me na bakit mo ginawa yun? Bakit mo hinagis dun? Alam mo ba kung gaano kahirap at katagal i-concieve nung baby na yun, I keep on explaining to her na the baby is not 100% human, hindi siya tao, and yun yung tama ibalik siya dun, then again I pray, I pray, I pray…binitawan na niya ako, then nakita ko yung wall nag start na bumalik sa normal lumiliit yung portal, then sabi ko how come? hindi naman holy water yung tinapon ko dun na water and I even ask my self, true ba na may holy water? Then , I realize sa dream ko na holy yung water kase Iam praying earnestly nung hinahagis ko yun, so kumuha again me ng tubig mas madami, then I started basain mga computers then tama nga nawawala si satan.. the house is full of smoke diba and mainit, para siyang nasususnog yung feeling inside pero walang fire, binasa ko ng binasa lahat sa loob ng house, until maging normal na again sa loob ng house, then I prayed again and I thank GOD na hindi niya ako iniwan and super powerful siya and im so sorry na muntik me maka gawa ng mali that time sa dream ko, I first thought of na this is just little mistake, wala naman masama if gawin ko din… but hindi ganun yun eh…
1Samuel 15:22 “Does the Lord delight in offering and sacrifices as much as in obeying the voice of the Lord? To obey is better that sacrifice, and to heed is better than the fat of rams.”
This is the only verse umiikot sa utak ko while im writing this….Im so thankful that GOD is with me in my dreams but so sorry that a part of me failed and that part of me did want or was tempted to have this earthly promises….but here I learned.

Ideal Guy

I thank GOD after knowing that HE wants me to get marry, HE also let me know what kind of a guy I should marry or look for hehe…. First he should have the zealousness of serving GOD, there’s a big difference between enjoying and wanting to serve and having the zealousness of serving GOD. Second he should be a good leader, a person who have wisdom and can decide wisely, with life goal and someone who have gained the respect of people around him. Third he and me should get along well, together grow and serve GOD, together would glorify GOD, and would compliment GOD’s will.

Celibacy

For a year I’ve been asking GOD if I have the gift of singleness also known as celibacy, quite long to fully know the answer. Along this time I am fighting the feelings I have of admiring guys, yet sometimes there also an absence of attraction for them. hehehe I find them ordinary and common… c”,) There are also times that I enjoy the company of my own, being alone wondering the mall, eating, shopping and doing everything by myself. There are signs that I can live life without partner, that having GOD is enough. So my love life has been completely idle for months, or more than a year? Haha actually until now, it is completely idle. That time, there are guys who planned to court me, who courted me, and stand by to court me, but none of them I entertained hehe so time passed they all got tired and left ( mostly non-believer )… not until this last May to June, for two months GOD keeps on answering my prayer in HIS ways regards to this and other prayers.. c”,) I won’t share the complete details how GOD answered my prayers. c”,) but it only lead to one answer that GOD wants me to go and multiply :p hehe to get married hehe c”,) well thank GOD that he answered me, because all the while I thought I have this gift, and I am enjoying everything by myself and planning of living life serving GOD alone and accepting that if it is HIS will for me not to get marry, well I am so willing to, who am I not to follow my boss order hehehe truly I thank GOD everytime HE answers prayer c”,)

Serving GOD, serving More

Last May, after the young pro retreat we had at Tagaytay Highlands, after few days I realized that it is only GOD, who can truly accept and love me for who I am, only HIM, and no other. Knowing all HIS words, all HE has given me, and all the Love HE has shown me, making HIM my all is what I am supposed to do. Serving HIM is one thing I really love to do, actually it is still not enough, because all the much I can do for HIM, I should. Anything for GOD, I should. And now I am so committed of serving HIM, and I thank GOD for that, for making me realized things more. And I pray that this will grow more, not the opposite c”,)

I was born to serve

One beautiful morning about two weeks ago, I and my mom were having breakfast together while having a chat; we were like updating each other, then we come up with spiritual topic. My mom is a Buddhist Catholic believer. When I am sharing my faith with her, my beliefs and telling her how much I am so born to serve GOD, she smiled and said to me, “You know what, when I was conceiving you, I talked to GOD, and prayed that I want this first child of mine to be a Nun.. to serve you with all her heart..” Then my heart was delighted and filled with joy, telling my self, so now I know… I may not become a Nun because I am not a Catholic believer, but I still have this great passion and faith of serving my one mighty GOD… isn’t it great? c”,)

Part of me feels like this :|

I don’t know but for 3 days, part of me feels like Lost? Confused? Sad? I don’t know…
Feels like I have a problem but I can’t determine what specifically, part of me is scared, part of me is hurt… there’s a mixed emotion which I don’t know where did these came from…. And how did these occur… and what cause these… so right now I feel so guilty, guilty that I am so in love with GOD yet I feel these trash stuff… which don’t glorify him at all…. I just hope that tomorrow... everything will be alright… and I think I have to pray for these… c”,)

I cannot hurt her more….

How can I tell my friend not to marry her non-believer boyfriend, when she is so inlove and currently having difficulties with their personal circumstances, and they are in the process of resolving everything, because they are so inlove with each other. The wedding is near if permitted, but other friends are telling me, that it is my responsibility to rebuke her, its hard, know why, last year they have done that to me, repeatedly convincing me to rebuke her, so last year I did, but what happen is that her boyfriend ended up texting me foul words and hard words, it turns out my friend even sided with her boyfriend, so again one of our friends suggested me to totally layuan my best friend, I did, we had a cold war, but you know what happen next, that time I find it left behind with the situation, this friends who convince me to rebuke her are totally not affected with the situation. And thank GOD also because after 2-3 months of not talking with my friend and missing her we both got back. Then I told her that im not going to make pake-alam na their relationship, so here the situation go again, a friend again is giving me the responsibility to rebuke her, for days I was bothered and keep on thinking, I decided not to do it again, especially right now na I know marami siya/sila pinag daraanan, just the thought na pag sinabi ko all sakanya, masasaktan siya, nasasaktan na ako.. so I decided na not to, I believe she is matured enough and with enough wisdom to know what’s right and not, what’s GOD’s will and not, what’s GOD’s words and not, I defended sa friend namin na if gusto niya since alam niya, he rebuke her instead kase iam not going to do it na again, so sabi ko hindi ko kaya. And if ever GOD really permitted their marriage, well I think it is still in GOD’s plan and GOD’s will, I believe every thing happen for a reason and that reason we don’t know, and only GOD knows. c”,) so i'll pray for her/them and let GOD do the work c",) also I will ask GOD for forgiveness if this is a sin c",)

Charles Ross Weede compared the achievement of Alexander, the Greek emperor, with the Lord Jesus Christ in his poem:

Charles Ross Weede compared the achievement of Alexander, the Greek emperor, with the Lord Jesus Christ in his poem:

Jesus and Alexander died at thirty three,
One lived and died for self, one died for you and me.
The Greek died on the throne, the Jew died on a cross,
One’s life a triumph seemed, the other but a loss.
One led vast armies forth, the other walked alone;
One shed a whole world’s blood, the other gave His own,
One won the world in life and lost it all in death,
The other lost His life to win the whole world’s faith.

Jesus and Alexander died at thirty three,
One died in Babylon and one in Calvary.
One gained all for self, and one Himself He gave,
One conquered every throne, the other every grave.
One won all the earth to lose all earth and heaven,
The other gave up all that all to Him be given.
The Greek forever died, the Jew forever lives,
He loses all who only gets, and wins all who truly gives.

***Alexander won the whole world in life and conquered every throne.
***Jesus said “My Kingdom is not of this world” John 18:36.

In my dream, I was again attacked….

Dreams??? What is a dream? For others or it was define as just a human psychology of images that travel through our unconscious mind. But for me.. Sometimes its more than that.
The story begins here… I was a very busy person and I met a group of people who wanted to explore or experiment with meditation… at first we we’re only 3 or 4 inside that car.. But eventually the number grew, I happen just to join the ride without the intention of joining their experiments but it seems like I was also with the group the entire story, I also don’t know how I came to be with them and be inside the car. The group was into road trip and actively joining the road trip working adventure.. its like working on a daily basis and be employed where they happen to stop, no permanent employment. The first meditation they did is in a room where there is only light but no air or fan.. the walls are all wood.. the group started to sweat.. the next day the group agen start another meditation where we were like inside a comfort room and there is a table ad we will stand there and meditate, here the room was all made up of glass. The third day , the meditation is like playing and laughing, here my friend Ryan Chuacokiong was in the group.. I ask him what he is doing there but he just lied on the floor and meditate… after I was with a girl friend.. Forgot who but we were like in a restaurant on top of a hill… where there is fresh air n good ambiance but that time I cant see any view.. There I saw my 3rd ex friends, his friends in st. benilde, I saw them in group waiting for some more friends to arrive.. it was a familiar scenario, and in my dream I can tell, its lie a blast in the past in my dream, its like parang “ I was also here the time na they we’re also here na hindi pa kami, or the time na before I met him, so he arrive with a familiar face, familiar clothes and familiar place.. so they didn’t recognize me kase in reality daw that time we haven’t met, I just don’t know how and why I came to that point of time, so that time I kinda feel something, the want of peace, to make peace with him, there comes a very super duper handsome guy, he holds time and predicts time, at first siyempre I didn’t know, so he approach me and without a word, he did something for mike to know me that time, for him to adjust the memory into the future and make everything in the future of that time be visible to him, so mike recognizes me na and everything that happened, the handsome guy, make a way for the friends of mike to leave so that mike and me can talk and be at peace. So it did happened, mike knew the handsome guy for a long time na daw and so… so after he leave after the hand shake… and I was so happy that time and told him that at last I can now move on and its like an answered prayer to be peace with him… the handsome guy approach me once again and he started telling me of his capabilities, he is not so superior but he has a power, he can move to time, he can see the future, then the thing he told me, “that I am about to die, soon, coz ill be having a brain tumor.“ he even touch my head at the back and made me feel how it hurts pala and advices me to see a doctor and have it check and operated soon. So we went separate ways then I was with Claudette Guevarra na… She saw all what had happened, she kinda believe but didn’t get that affected the way I did, but she brought lots of fliers with her and brought it to me, she keeps telling me that that guy was very famous and and expert in that field. So we also went talking about the brain tumor, she advised me to check with a doctor to check, and had it operated soon, so I was worried that time… I was worried of my life, the operation, the expenses and who and how to see a good doctor for me to survive this… so we went to an old hospital where there is only one elevator, a very old yet fast elevator, so the doctor clinic was on the 10th floor, but the doctor wasn’t there, then a janitor advice us to go to the 6th floor where people where there, so I and Claudette went there and entering 6th floor, there is a garden a very relaxing place to be, but almost everyone in their own group are so relax.. They are all sited and meditating.. not even one, dare to approach or dare to look at us.. the thought we we’re asking them where is the doctor… then this handsome man came to me again and approach me, he said that I should really see the doctor because my time of dying is becoming near.. so again I was so worried and terrified, he offered me a prediction, that time I was given the chance to say no unlike the first time he speaks to me, I immediately answered him with a no and I am not interested, for it is not good to listen to him because I am becoming more worried and crying everytime he said this tom me and it is not my believe to listen with his prediction. And I said to him, GOD is in control and even if I am dying of this sickness even if it sounds impossible to an ordinary human to let this sickness be gone without an operation, there is nothing impossible with GOD if I pray, and ask him to heal me, if I am not healed maybe it is his will, so I quickly get rid of his site and drag Claudette to the elevator to leave the place… when we saw Kenneth Tolentino and also drag him in a hurry to leave the place… and told them that I want to see boksu and tell boksu Danny Reyes everything that had happened. I saw Remington inside the elevator and ride alone and went down, I didn’t got the chance to call him and say stop. The elevator is gone, yet there is an elevator opening, so I convince Claudette and Kenneth to jump than to be on that place with that guy. They said we will die, I told them no just pray and have faith when we jump, so we jump and by surprise we we’re alive when we reach the ground, because Kenneth has a strong faith which helps us survive. Then it was again the 6th floor. We we’re back again to that floor with a different image, then there is no door for us to pass to the safer ground coz if not we’ll be trap on that open space elevator, so wee decided to punch kick and destroy the wall, then we saw light again and human, but still there is an imaginary wall that we cannot pass through immediately so I told them we can pass through here its all in faith, then we we’re able to enter. I saw boksu right away, but he was leaving and approaching to an elevator to the balcony of this 6th floor, then I saw him na sa balcony.i was calling him, yet he is not answering my shout. Not looking at me. Then on my left side balcony I saw Ryan Ching, then on my right side ground was Ryan Chuacokiong, I told them that I need to talk to boksu and ask for help.. then boksu approach me, then he talk to me, I forgot how did he talk to me but that time, I felt that it wasn’t boksu that I should not trust that man I am talking to, then he himself revealed that he was not really boksu, he is the handsome man, he again transformed and laughing and wanted revenge on me. He keeps on talking and talking and I cant remember in what he is saying to me because that time I was so busy ignoring him by asking this fellow friends of mine to help me pray and fight this guy, the face of the handsome guy is transforming fast of an unexplainable sight, its like a monster that I cant remember how to describe then be back again to boksu face then again back to his handsome face. Then I said that I wont be afraid of him and fight him, so I and the fellows pray, then he really swing flying towards me yet not the chance of hurting me and really come near me, then I don’t know he just became a small stuff toy… I grab the stuff toy, if I am not mistaken I can remember that it was a dog or bear stuff toy and began hurting it to kill it but it was lifeless, then a voice in my thought said that I will come back… then I woke up… Again can’t believe that it does happen again. He again attacked me in my dreams. Then I pray to GOD that even in my dreams he hears my prayers. After I touch me back head to touch if it hurts the same hurt I felt in my dream… but it doesn’t hurt.. but the feeling of touching my head feels the same, I mean the bone structured that I touched is the same bone structure that I felt when I touch my head in my dreams.
Really I know a lot of people wont agree or believe with my dreams when I say that it is really the evil who I have encountered, I can still say that it is really possible because the time I slept before I dreamed I was worried and guilty, so maybe he had a foothold of worrying in me that is why he was able to attack me again. Which is clearly stated in the bible that; do not worry, for worry is a sin. (Matthew 6:25-34) We also are aware that GOD doesn’t speak in dream anymore so there is no hidden meaning or any translation needed. (Daniel 7:15-28)

Commuter Christian

One thing good about commuting is that one tend to see the real world. See pag nag commute ka naglalakad ka, nakaka langhap ka ng pollution maduming hangin ang alikabok, nasisikatan ka ng matinding init ng araw, at nakaka salubong mo ang mga taong average at poor. Well about sa pollution and maduming hangin magiging aware ka kung gaano na kadumi ang earth sa ginagawa ng tao. Sa matinding init ng araw, aware ka na sa global warming, na super abusive ng mga tao kaya yan nasira na ang nature na create ni GOD. How selfish and bad ng tao super sinner talaga. Kapal natin sa mga pinag gagawa natin sa creation ni GOD. Anyway sa mga nakaka salubong naman na tao, makikita mo how amazingly GOD created us, madami masamang tao sa daan na makaka salubong lalo na ditto sa Philippines, at alam natin lahat yun, but kahit gaano ka-dangerous, there is something good na nakita ko, kase may mga tao pa din na may malasakit sa kapwa nila, may malasakit sa mga strangers… hehe paano ko nasabi? Like for example, bukas zipper ko, bukas na buttons ng damit ko, naka-open yung bag ko or may nalaglag me na gamit, makikita mo na etong mga strangers na eto ang mag papansin at sasabihin sakin na ganyan yung bagay, diba after ang sarap ng feeling. Thank GOD. But still makaka encounter ka pa din ng taong masama na pag bukas yung buttons ng damit mo eh mag papa kaduling duling sa kaka silip, at kung bukas yung bag mo eh sasamantalahin, dudukutan ka pa… well still Thank GOD kase marunong tayo mag patawad sa mga nagkakasala satin. Sa pag lalakad ko madalas nag durugo ang heart ko, ang ibig ko sabihin madalas ako makakita ng mga situation o bagay bagay na kinakalungkot ko, like for example sa hayop muna tayo, madaming ligaw na pusa at aso, na gutom, pilay at madumi, wala lang… diba sabi ni GOD dapat natin i-rule sila and i-protect, but ano nangyayari.. may right din sila mabuhay. Nakaka sad talaga. But madami pa mas malala, pumunta naman tayo sa buhay tao. Madami ako nakikita sa daan na mga taong walang bahay. Na nag tiyatiyaga sa box na tulugan or sa mga daan. May iba nakita ko nakatira sa loob ng sidecar na ginawa ng bahay yung iba naman sa kariton. May ilang nakikita ko yung matatanda na inabanduna na ng mga pamilya nila, walang makain, disabled, madungis at namamalimos. May ilan naman nakikita ko mga batang lansangan, wala sa iskwelahan, no read no write, hindi nakaka kain ng 3 beses sa isang araw, malnourish ,may iba umaakyat ng jeep nag shine ng shoes para sa kapiranggot na coins, nag caroling, namamalimos, may ibang bata sa palengke sa gulang na 5 taon, tumutulong na bumuhat ng mga gulay, para may maitulong sa pamilya at may maipan tawid sa araw araw na gutom, isipin mo sa murang gulang marunong na sila sa mga ganyang bagay. May iba mag anak mong makikita sa daan, mag kaka samang nagugutom. Nakaka awa kung iisipin diba? Paminsan natatanong ko kay GOD bakit sila nagkaka ganito, bakit yung mga mayayaman at makapang yarihang mga tao na walang ginagawam parang hindi sila nakikita, pinapa bayaan lang ang gantong mga bagay, at parang kahit konying yaman nila hindi man lang maipamahagi sakanila,nag papakasasa pa sila, yung ibang mga pulitiko pa mismo ang nag nanakaw ng dapat na ay tinutulong sakanila, pero alam mo Thank GOD pa din ako, kase sinagot ako agad ni GOD, kase inallow ni GOD na makita ko lahat ng eto, binigyan me ni GOD ng purpose and goal sa life. And I feel so blessed. Eto ang kinaganda ng pag commute. Hope makita mo din yung ibig kong sabihin. C”,)