Ideal Guy

I thank GOD after knowing that HE wants me to get marry, HE also let me know what kind of a guy I should marry or look for hehe…. First he should have the zealousness of serving GOD, there’s a big difference between enjoying and wanting to serve and having the zealousness of serving GOD. Second he should be a good leader, a person who have wisdom and can decide wisely, with life goal and someone who have gained the respect of people around him. Third he and me should get along well, together grow and serve GOD, together would glorify GOD, and would compliment GOD’s will.

Celibacy

For a year I’ve been asking GOD if I have the gift of singleness also known as celibacy, quite long to fully know the answer. Along this time I am fighting the feelings I have of admiring guys, yet sometimes there also an absence of attraction for them. hehehe I find them ordinary and common… c”,) There are also times that I enjoy the company of my own, being alone wondering the mall, eating, shopping and doing everything by myself. There are signs that I can live life without partner, that having GOD is enough. So my love life has been completely idle for months, or more than a year? Haha actually until now, it is completely idle. That time, there are guys who planned to court me, who courted me, and stand by to court me, but none of them I entertained hehe so time passed they all got tired and left ( mostly non-believer )… not until this last May to June, for two months GOD keeps on answering my prayer in HIS ways regards to this and other prayers.. c”,) I won’t share the complete details how GOD answered my prayers. c”,) but it only lead to one answer that GOD wants me to go and multiply :p hehe to get married hehe c”,) well thank GOD that he answered me, because all the while I thought I have this gift, and I am enjoying everything by myself and planning of living life serving GOD alone and accepting that if it is HIS will for me not to get marry, well I am so willing to, who am I not to follow my boss order hehehe truly I thank GOD everytime HE answers prayer c”,)

Serving GOD, serving More

Last May, after the young pro retreat we had at Tagaytay Highlands, after few days I realized that it is only GOD, who can truly accept and love me for who I am, only HIM, and no other. Knowing all HIS words, all HE has given me, and all the Love HE has shown me, making HIM my all is what I am supposed to do. Serving HIM is one thing I really love to do, actually it is still not enough, because all the much I can do for HIM, I should. Anything for GOD, I should. And now I am so committed of serving HIM, and I thank GOD for that, for making me realized things more. And I pray that this will grow more, not the opposite c”,)

I was born to serve

One beautiful morning about two weeks ago, I and my mom were having breakfast together while having a chat; we were like updating each other, then we come up with spiritual topic. My mom is a Buddhist Catholic believer. When I am sharing my faith with her, my beliefs and telling her how much I am so born to serve GOD, she smiled and said to me, “You know what, when I was conceiving you, I talked to GOD, and prayed that I want this first child of mine to be a Nun.. to serve you with all her heart..” Then my heart was delighted and filled with joy, telling my self, so now I know… I may not become a Nun because I am not a Catholic believer, but I still have this great passion and faith of serving my one mighty GOD… isn’t it great? c”,)

Part of me feels like this :|

I don’t know but for 3 days, part of me feels like Lost? Confused? Sad? I don’t know…
Feels like I have a problem but I can’t determine what specifically, part of me is scared, part of me is hurt… there’s a mixed emotion which I don’t know where did these came from…. And how did these occur… and what cause these… so right now I feel so guilty, guilty that I am so in love with GOD yet I feel these trash stuff… which don’t glorify him at all…. I just hope that tomorrow... everything will be alright… and I think I have to pray for these… c”,)