Monday, January 24, 2011
spa
this is a super relax blessed day for me.. woke up early spent whole morning with GOD.. talked to HIM in prayer for more than 2 hours, study HIS words (Psalms, Proverbs), reminded & guided by other scriptures, read a book, reflected on devotional materials, half day for HIM, that's a whoot whoot.. its a wow.. im super blessed to have this body, heart, mind and soul spa... so relax.. sana pwede ako everyday ganito.. c",) hay .. i miss this lifestyle.. sana im given 30 hours a day.. and spend 6 hours for GOD... everyday!!! hay.. swapang ko talaga sa time.. lagi nalang kulang time..super busy mj!! toink!
Sunday, January 23, 2011
The Battle Is The Lord’s
2 Chronicles 20:1515… Do not be afraid nor dismayed because of this great multitude, for the battle is not yours, but God’s.
When faced with a problem or challenge, we tend to ask ourselves, “What am I going to do?” And well-meaning family members and friends will come along and ask, “What are you going to do?”
Jehoshaphat faced a multitude of enemies. But instead of focusing on what he would do, he prayed, “O our God, will You not judge them? For we have no power against this great multitude that is coming against us; nor do we know what to do, but our eyes are upon You.” (2 Chronicles 20:12)
When we turn our eyes to God, we will hear Him say, “Do not be afraid nor dismayed because of this great multitude, for the battle is not yours, but God’s... You will not need to fight in this battle. Position yourselves, stand still and see the salvation of the Lord…” (2 Chronicles 20:15, 17)
But standing still is the last thing we want to do when the enemy is coming against us. It is also the most difficult thing to do because we feel that we cannot just stand around and do nothing — we must try to save the situation. But God wants us to stand still and see Jesus our salvation fight for us.
So what do you do the next time you are faced with a battle and don’t know what to do? Jehoshaphat sent his singers to the front of the army to proclaim, “Praise the Lord, for His mercy endures forever.” (2 Chronicles 20:21) Some people will wonder, “Does that mean that I just sing and don’t do anything else when I have a problem?” No, that is not what I am saying.
Do what the situation requires, but don’t worry and don’t trust in what you do. Like Jehoshaphat, rest and trust in His mercy that endures forever. When you do that, God will turn your battlefield into the Valley of Berachah. Berachah means “blessings”. The children of Israel gave the battlefield this name because it took them three days to gather all the spoils of war! God turned their situation into a great blessing! (2 Chronicles 20:25–26)
Do you have a battle to fight? Stand still and see the salvation of the Lord!
When faced with a problem or challenge, we tend to ask ourselves, “What am I going to do?” And well-meaning family members and friends will come along and ask, “What are you going to do?”
Jehoshaphat faced a multitude of enemies. But instead of focusing on what he would do, he prayed, “O our God, will You not judge them? For we have no power against this great multitude that is coming against us; nor do we know what to do, but our eyes are upon You.” (2 Chronicles 20:12)
When we turn our eyes to God, we will hear Him say, “Do not be afraid nor dismayed because of this great multitude, for the battle is not yours, but God’s... You will not need to fight in this battle. Position yourselves, stand still and see the salvation of the Lord…” (2 Chronicles 20:15, 17)
But standing still is the last thing we want to do when the enemy is coming against us. It is also the most difficult thing to do because we feel that we cannot just stand around and do nothing — we must try to save the situation. But God wants us to stand still and see Jesus our salvation fight for us.
So what do you do the next time you are faced with a battle and don’t know what to do? Jehoshaphat sent his singers to the front of the army to proclaim, “Praise the Lord, for His mercy endures forever.” (2 Chronicles 20:21) Some people will wonder, “Does that mean that I just sing and don’t do anything else when I have a problem?” No, that is not what I am saying.
Do what the situation requires, but don’t worry and don’t trust in what you do. Like Jehoshaphat, rest and trust in His mercy that endures forever. When you do that, God will turn your battlefield into the Valley of Berachah. Berachah means “blessings”. The children of Israel gave the battlefield this name because it took them three days to gather all the spoils of war! God turned their situation into a great blessing! (2 Chronicles 20:25–26)
Do you have a battle to fight? Stand still and see the salvation of the Lord!
Saturday, January 22, 2011
Let Your Heart Be Established By Grace
Hebrews 13:9
it is good that the heart be established by grace…
God does not want your heart full of worries and fears, tossed and turned by every challenge that comes your way. He wants your heart at rest and established by His grace toward you.
But when you think that the breakthroughs to your challenges depend on your ability to obey God, then your heart will not be at rest. It will be full of worries and anxieties. Why? Because you can never obey God perfectly.
But when you depend on God’s grace, that is, His undeserved, unmerited favor, the opposite happens — your heart becomes established. When you know that the only thing that qualifies you to receive God’s blessings is faith in the finished work of Christ, your heart becomes established. Then, you will walk without the fear of your troubles swallowing you up. You will walk with full assurance that His blessings will be manifested in your life.
My friend, God wants your heart established, knowing that His righteousness, healing, protection and prosperity are yours — all paid for by Jesus’ finished work at the cross. God’s blessings are sure in your life because they are not dependent on your ability to keep His laws, but Jesus’ perfect obedience.
You see, under the old covenant, you receive God’s blessings only if you keep all His laws. (Deuteronomy 28:1–2) If you sin and fail to keep even one law, you will be disqualified from receiving His blessings. But today, under the new covenant, your sins no longer disqualify you because God Himself has said, “For I will be merciful to their unrighteousness, and their sins and their lawless deeds I will remember no more.” (Hebrews 8:12)
So let your heart be established by God’s grace. Because of His grace, you have full access to His blessings. You no longer have to worry about whether you are good enough. You can stand firm on the promises made in His Word and enjoy His blessings today because Jesus has paid the price. Your part is only to believe and receive!
it is good that the heart be established by grace…
God does not want your heart full of worries and fears, tossed and turned by every challenge that comes your way. He wants your heart at rest and established by His grace toward you.
But when you think that the breakthroughs to your challenges depend on your ability to obey God, then your heart will not be at rest. It will be full of worries and anxieties. Why? Because you can never obey God perfectly.
But when you depend on God’s grace, that is, His undeserved, unmerited favor, the opposite happens — your heart becomes established. When you know that the only thing that qualifies you to receive God’s blessings is faith in the finished work of Christ, your heart becomes established. Then, you will walk without the fear of your troubles swallowing you up. You will walk with full assurance that His blessings will be manifested in your life.
My friend, God wants your heart established, knowing that His righteousness, healing, protection and prosperity are yours — all paid for by Jesus’ finished work at the cross. God’s blessings are sure in your life because they are not dependent on your ability to keep His laws, but Jesus’ perfect obedience.
You see, under the old covenant, you receive God’s blessings only if you keep all His laws. (Deuteronomy 28:1–2) If you sin and fail to keep even one law, you will be disqualified from receiving His blessings. But today, under the new covenant, your sins no longer disqualify you because God Himself has said, “For I will be merciful to their unrighteousness, and their sins and their lawless deeds I will remember no more.” (Hebrews 8:12)
So let your heart be established by God’s grace. Because of His grace, you have full access to His blessings. You no longer have to worry about whether you are good enough. You can stand firm on the promises made in His Word and enjoy His blessings today because Jesus has paid the price. Your part is only to believe and receive!
Friday, January 21, 2011
Proud
i believe that let the reason to forgive is love...
1st thought: you won't hate a person, if you didn't love him first
2nd thought: you will only get affected with a person if that person means something to you.. so if they don't mean any.. you won't get affected..
it ain't really easy to just forget and forgive.. but love made it easy..
how?
last tuesday i talked to a friend.. she told me that it could be that this is the true reason why...
she heard that this guy (the one I loved.. ) likes a girls so much, and then his parents made an investigation about the girl's family background.. they found out that her dad is a gambler before, was jailed due that and that her dad has lots of negative past.. like alcohol, cigarettes and etc.. they didn't like that..
okey..
so what a coincidence.. im guilty. my dad is like that..
before early part of 2010.. around April or May our pastor gives example..
1. a guy likes a girl, the guy family made an investigation something like ive said happened
2. that the family of this guy likes a girl for him, he didnt like her, they like the family of that girl too ; and this another girl which this guy likes, but his family didn't like
now.. I thank GOD.. because things gets clearer to me..
I think I know now why everything is so complicated...
And Im not mad or hurt or anything.. that I thank GOD..
1. for me I understand the part of his parents... I forgive them... let GOD do the judging... but I didn't mean I want them to be judge by GOD for they did to me.. I told GOD that I forgive them.. so HE may forgive them too.. I understand.. that's why it's okey.. yeah it could be unfair for my part.. but that's life...
2. GOD said.. "I never said like would be fair... I just promised that it would be beautiful if you have ME." ~ and I cling to that.
3. yeah it may sound they judge me, but what can I do.. I cannot blame myself for I did nothing.. It's my father doing.. I cannot continue balming him for his past.. I love him my father too even if he is bad.. he is still through him who made it possible to give me this life
4. Im proud of the guy I loved.. no wonder why GOD made me love him and no wonder why did I love him.. I think I still want to say I love him for what he did.. he did the right thing.. I also would want to have blessing from the parents.. I wouldn't want to insist something that is not blessed and allowed.. I want GOD to be happy and glorified. yet I cannot love this guy more anymore.. I have to control how I feel.. else it will eat me alive. I cannot live in pain. I just want to live in joy with GOD. with GOD I am complete and content.
I cannot also bear or stand the fact that something will happen to his parents., if incase he fought for me. I wouldn't want him to do that, I want him to obey his parents. it is through them that made it possible for him to be alive now..
5. I have accepted the fact that it is really hard to accept my family no matter how okey I can be.. so with this thing I am fine, it's all in matter of acceptance.
6. I am made to give love and forgive.. GOD is smiling when I am like that and becoming more like that.. HE is molding me to be like that.. all my life I lived in pain.. and all my life I have learned and need to forgive. that's why I have a happy heart.
7. I didn't say that everything between me and him ends.. possible it is not willed.. possible that it is still willed.. I trust GOD.. so whatever happens .. be ready.. all I know, that I will follow GOD's leading.. bare in mind that nothing is impossible with GOD. HE is in control. just trust HIS leading. just don't expect so that I won't get disappointed. there is this though "no man can part what GOD hasd willed."
8. If it's not him, I will wait who is willed by GOD to me, someone who will and his family will accept me and my family, love me and I will love him, by GOD's leading and grace.. with this GOD's gift called love.. I will not get into any relationship just because I am getting old.. I won't let time pressure me. I will just always wait in GOD's time and leading.
9. what happened to me is an inspiration for me to strive more and achieve more in life with GOD's help and leading. and I will continue to rely on GOD and never question HIS plans for me, for it is to prosper me and give me hope. I am so blessedn that I mature in life through GOD. it may be though.. but hey GOD is the best teacher. HE gives me wisdom and make me love HIM more.
10. forgiving him is not hard.. I already have forgiven him.. because I love him. that's what GOD taught me. and I will be happy if he is happy. just love mj.. that's the gift from GOD.
I have fought the fight,I have finished the race.I have obeyed GOD.I kept my oath to GOD.
now GOD will stand for me. HE is with me.
just pray! this is powerful. c",) but when I pray I must listen more and speak less.. c",)
1st thought: you won't hate a person, if you didn't love him first
2nd thought: you will only get affected with a person if that person means something to you.. so if they don't mean any.. you won't get affected..
it ain't really easy to just forget and forgive.. but love made it easy..
how?
last tuesday i talked to a friend.. she told me that it could be that this is the true reason why...
she heard that this guy (the one I loved.. ) likes a girls so much, and then his parents made an investigation about the girl's family background.. they found out that her dad is a gambler before, was jailed due that and that her dad has lots of negative past.. like alcohol, cigarettes and etc.. they didn't like that..
okey..
so what a coincidence.. im guilty. my dad is like that..
before early part of 2010.. around April or May our pastor gives example..
1. a guy likes a girl, the guy family made an investigation something like ive said happened
2. that the family of this guy likes a girl for him, he didnt like her, they like the family of that girl too ; and this another girl which this guy likes, but his family didn't like
now.. I thank GOD.. because things gets clearer to me..
I think I know now why everything is so complicated...
And Im not mad or hurt or anything.. that I thank GOD..
1. for me I understand the part of his parents... I forgive them... let GOD do the judging... but I didn't mean I want them to be judge by GOD for they did to me.. I told GOD that I forgive them.. so HE may forgive them too.. I understand.. that's why it's okey.. yeah it could be unfair for my part.. but that's life...
2. GOD said.. "I never said like would be fair... I just promised that it would be beautiful if you have ME." ~ and I cling to that.
3. yeah it may sound they judge me, but what can I do.. I cannot blame myself for I did nothing.. It's my father doing.. I cannot continue balming him for his past.. I love him my father too even if he is bad.. he is still through him who made it possible to give me this life
4. Im proud of the guy I loved.. no wonder why GOD made me love him and no wonder why did I love him.. I think I still want to say I love him for what he did.. he did the right thing.. I also would want to have blessing from the parents.. I wouldn't want to insist something that is not blessed and allowed.. I want GOD to be happy and glorified. yet I cannot love this guy more anymore.. I have to control how I feel.. else it will eat me alive. I cannot live in pain. I just want to live in joy with GOD. with GOD I am complete and content.
I cannot also bear or stand the fact that something will happen to his parents., if incase he fought for me. I wouldn't want him to do that, I want him to obey his parents. it is through them that made it possible for him to be alive now..
5. I have accepted the fact that it is really hard to accept my family no matter how okey I can be.. so with this thing I am fine, it's all in matter of acceptance.
6. I am made to give love and forgive.. GOD is smiling when I am like that and becoming more like that.. HE is molding me to be like that.. all my life I lived in pain.. and all my life I have learned and need to forgive. that's why I have a happy heart.
7. I didn't say that everything between me and him ends.. possible it is not willed.. possible that it is still willed.. I trust GOD.. so whatever happens .. be ready.. all I know, that I will follow GOD's leading.. bare in mind that nothing is impossible with GOD. HE is in control. just trust HIS leading. just don't expect so that I won't get disappointed. there is this though "no man can part what GOD hasd willed."
8. If it's not him, I will wait who is willed by GOD to me, someone who will and his family will accept me and my family, love me and I will love him, by GOD's leading and grace.. with this GOD's gift called love.. I will not get into any relationship just because I am getting old.. I won't let time pressure me. I will just always wait in GOD's time and leading.
9. what happened to me is an inspiration for me to strive more and achieve more in life with GOD's help and leading. and I will continue to rely on GOD and never question HIS plans for me, for it is to prosper me and give me hope. I am so blessedn that I mature in life through GOD. it may be though.. but hey GOD is the best teacher. HE gives me wisdom and make me love HIM more.
10. forgiving him is not hard.. I already have forgiven him.. because I love him. that's what GOD taught me. and I will be happy if he is happy. just love mj.. that's the gift from GOD.
I have fought the fight,I have finished the race.I have obeyed GOD.I kept my oath to GOD.
now GOD will stand for me. HE is with me.
just pray! this is powerful. c",) but when I pray I must listen more and speak less.. c",)
Saturday, January 15, 2011
smile
I notice someone.. I notice him last 2009 azcop camp, he is from another church..that time he is snob to me.. he can make me laugh, I like his sense of humor, this June 2010 I was surprisingly asked by a common friend, if I'll be willing to be blind date with this guy, but since I am inlove with another guy, I simply answer no because I can't. this 2010 azcop he tried to be friend with me, but It's not okey with me, also that time I have dilemmas with the guy im inlove with, I am in great confusion.. so.. nothing. many times this year I notice him, he is not handsome, but he have this funny sense of humor which catches my attention. he may not be handsome, but hey I don't need a handsome guy, it's the heart that I am looking at.. and I need a guy who will love me like a prince loving his princess. he is a matured christian, who plays guitar well and sings well too. he also plays basketball. hmm.. ideal! hehe im interested to know him, if GOD is willing and will make a way..I will.. now, in my sad days, he is the one who somehow somewhat brightens my days, he puts a smile in my frown face and sometimes makes me laugh.. even if he don't know, so I thank GOD for it. that's a blessing. I know how to love, I am loyal, is just that I have no reason to stay in love. too much pain. too much hurt. need to move on. this is one way. c",)
Claim Your Restoration!
a beautiful devotion that I would like to share.. this is a devotion from pastor prince site last November 13, 2011
Acts 3:20–21
that He may send Jesus Christ, who was preached to you before
21whom heaven must receive until the times of restoration of all things
As a believer, you have a right to expect restoration of the things that the devil has stolen from you. It may be your health, marriage or finances, but payback time is definitely coming!
Acts 3:20–21 tells us that before Jesus comes back for His church, we will experience “the times of restoration of all things”. What a hope that gives us, knowing that God will restore to us all things before Jesus returns!
My friend, if the devil is attacking you in any area, tell God, “Father, I will not allow the devil to rob me of my health, marriage, children or finances. These blessings are blood-bought and paid for by Your Son!” Claim your restoration in Christ and heaven will hear you.
There will be such times of restoration of all things to the body of Christ that His people will only get better, stronger, healthier, and more prosperous and glorious! When God restores, even under the old covenant, His people always received much more than what they had originally lost, in terms of quality and/or quantity. How much more will our restoration be under the new covenant because of the shed blood of the Lamb of God!
A divorcee with a teenage son came to our church and accepted the Lord in May 2003. She began to pray for the restoration of her marriage and the reunion of her family. She knew that the chances of this happening were close to zero since she had not met nor spoken with her ex-husband since their divorce 10 years ago. She did not even know if he had remarried. But God caused their paths to cross at a wedding at the end of 2003. Today, their relationship is healed, and together with their son, they worship as a family in church.
Even though what happened for that sister may not happen for every divorced person (God can give you a better spouse and marriage), I believe that God wants you to know that your times of restoration are here. Heaven is waiting to hear you stake your claim for restoration!
Acts 3:20–21
that He may send Jesus Christ, who was preached to you before
21whom heaven must receive until the times of restoration of all things
As a believer, you have a right to expect restoration of the things that the devil has stolen from you. It may be your health, marriage or finances, but payback time is definitely coming!
Acts 3:20–21 tells us that before Jesus comes back for His church, we will experience “the times of restoration of all things”. What a hope that gives us, knowing that God will restore to us all things before Jesus returns!
My friend, if the devil is attacking you in any area, tell God, “Father, I will not allow the devil to rob me of my health, marriage, children or finances. These blessings are blood-bought and paid for by Your Son!” Claim your restoration in Christ and heaven will hear you.
There will be such times of restoration of all things to the body of Christ that His people will only get better, stronger, healthier, and more prosperous and glorious! When God restores, even under the old covenant, His people always received much more than what they had originally lost, in terms of quality and/or quantity. How much more will our restoration be under the new covenant because of the shed blood of the Lamb of God!
A divorcee with a teenage son came to our church and accepted the Lord in May 2003. She began to pray for the restoration of her marriage and the reunion of her family. She knew that the chances of this happening were close to zero since she had not met nor spoken with her ex-husband since their divorce 10 years ago. She did not even know if he had remarried. But God caused their paths to cross at a wedding at the end of 2003. Today, their relationship is healed, and together with their son, they worship as a family in church.
Even though what happened for that sister may not happen for every divorced person (God can give you a better spouse and marriage), I believe that God wants you to know that your times of restoration are here. Heaven is waiting to hear you stake your claim for restoration!
Bye
He didn’t tell me he is moving on then, that’s wrong, because I believe that we should
always know how to clarify things to a person, he left me. Ouch! Super Ouch! Last night, I felt the feel of the knife like passing through my heart.. ouch! Last night, I prayed to GOD, GOD, give me pain, give me hurt, let me feel it, I will still be glad that you give me this and you lead me to this, and you know I have fulfilled your plans. Even I don’t understand, I want to feel all the pain to finished this, I don’t want to hold on even a little, I don’t care if he’ll be sad or happy.. I don’t care if he’ll regret or not, all I care now is me not liking to be in this situation anymore. Last night I stop. And I will stop. I want to stop.. later I will talk again to GOD sincerely.. I will resolve this with HIM, I will totally again surrender everything and have HIS plans for me. And this is part of it, but I want to move on. Move on, because I can see happiness from a distance. I can’t stop here. I can’t. this love as I've said is not from me, it's from GOD, GOD gave this to me, that is why I am so confused and I am so afraid.. because I can't understand, how can I love someone that I don't really like in the first place. Now that I love him, he left me, another thing I can't understand. Can I just this love that GOD has given me to forgive him. to replace hatred with love.. its like paying debt. para break even para wala na?...
always know how to clarify things to a person, he left me. Ouch! Super Ouch! Last night, I felt the feel of the knife like passing through my heart.. ouch! Last night, I prayed to GOD, GOD, give me pain, give me hurt, let me feel it, I will still be glad that you give me this and you lead me to this, and you know I have fulfilled your plans. Even I don’t understand, I want to feel all the pain to finished this, I don’t want to hold on even a little, I don’t care if he’ll be sad or happy.. I don’t care if he’ll regret or not, all I care now is me not liking to be in this situation anymore. Last night I stop. And I will stop. I want to stop.. later I will talk again to GOD sincerely.. I will resolve this with HIM, I will totally again surrender everything and have HIS plans for me. And this is part of it, but I want to move on. Move on, because I can see happiness from a distance. I can’t stop here. I can’t. this love as I've said is not from me, it's from GOD, GOD gave this to me, that is why I am so confused and I am so afraid.. because I can't understand, how can I love someone that I don't really like in the first place. Now that I love him, he left me, another thing I can't understand. Can I just this love that GOD has given me to forgive him. to replace hatred with love.. its like paying debt. para break even para wala na?...
Friday, January 14, 2011
slap
since November..I want to slap him on the face.. so imagine now.. how much I wanted too..but I need to practice self-control.. and let GOD do the slapping.. I will wait patiently for that day.. I will observe.. I will observe.. this is all I wanna do.. be still and say nothing.. I believe GOD is just.. HE will fight for me.. for I am HIS..
awhile ago tears falls my eyes because I am full of anger, I want to slap him.. I hate him for coming into my life.. and doing these things to me.. he don't know how to love, he knows love and what is love.. but he don't know how to practice it.. he failed to love.. he only love himself.. selfish.
whole morning I am talking to GOD as I woke up.. kept asking for forgiveness for all my sins..
my sin regarding this matter..
1. I made GOD jealous, for loving this person, forgetting that I was only asked by GOD to love and accept this person.. not to love him more than HIM.
his sins
1. He have changed, he love himself to the point he idolize himself. he becomes a monster, not the same person GOD showed me.
2. He idolize the fact that there are girls around him, waiting for him and that he have lots of choices.
GOD showed me his heart before, but he is now changed.. he is not the same person that I learned to love. last Sept. I have noticed his changes, I told him that..but I tried to play blind and continue to love him.
awhile ago tears falls my eyes because I am full of anger, I want to slap him.. I hate him for coming into my life.. and doing these things to me.. he don't know how to love, he knows love and what is love.. but he don't know how to practice it.. he failed to love.. he only love himself.. selfish.
whole morning I am talking to GOD as I woke up.. kept asking for forgiveness for all my sins..
my sin regarding this matter..
1. I made GOD jealous, for loving this person, forgetting that I was only asked by GOD to love and accept this person.. not to love him more than HIM.
his sins
1. He have changed, he love himself to the point he idolize himself. he becomes a monster, not the same person GOD showed me.
2. He idolize the fact that there are girls around him, waiting for him and that he have lots of choices.
GOD showed me his heart before, but he is now changed.. he is not the same person that I learned to love. last Sept. I have noticed his changes, I told him that..but I tried to play blind and continue to love him.
stop
awhile ago.. I was reading my post last 2008, I am laughing ... so funny of my english grammar.. but all I posted are so meaningful with good insight.. and the messages are so perfect for me right now.. that's the work of GOD.. to remind my self with my self post with my self insight that are from HIM.. right now I can say I am lost.. GOD knows.. how can I walk so smooth alone and stumble every time I fall in love.. how wish I have read those post of mine over and over again last 2010.. why didn't I?
really, I want to move on, im okey, but I am not fine..
I just cling to this truth, that someday I know I will be happy too..
I know I am blessed with a pretty face.. slim curvacious body.. I have lots of guys who comes to me shhowing interest.. but these won't make me happy..
what will make me happy is to have my own family.. one thing been praying for GOD .. yet I always fail to have.. why? can anyone answer me?
now I often write blog.. because I don't want to talk to anyone at all.. I feel stupid asking mom, shobe, clods and joanna with my situation.. for I know what I am going through.. I don't need to hear their advices.. I know how to advice myself.. because I am asking wisdom from GOD..
this time, I do pray, but my prayer quality is not solid.. my Father ain't happy about it.. but I talk to HIM often, with many questions.. I guess I don't listen to HIS answers.. because I kept asking why??
right now Im still...
how I wish I could tell him what he did wrong.. that made an effect that cause me also to do wrong agaisnt him, that causes things to be so wrong..
don't ever say you are ready.. if you are not..
always be on time.. one major life rule.. if you are late.. you are out.. you lost.
did I lose him? or did I won anything?
losing him, only GOD knows.. learnings is what i've won.. got lots of learnings.. how I wish I could turn back time and change it.. but that's life.. many things are not meant to be change.. but take action, grow and be responsible for everything..
I don't like him, but I love him.. GOD what have you done?? what have you taught me? yeah now I don't suffer, I don't feel pain.. I am just full of question marks ??? why? why? why? but whatever happens GOD.. I trust YOU.. I trust YOU..
that I will be okey.. for YOU have plans for me.. not to harm me.. but to prosper me and give me hope..
GOD, did he prayed about me before? did he asked me from YOU?
why....
now, I know he don't anymore.. because GOD, YOU have remove the burden from me..
why did YOU chose to listen to him? and chose to use me?
this afternoon I asked mom.. "ma, why i felt GOD's leading? why I saw HIM work, but why did these things happened?" my mom can't answer me, she tried to change the topic.. but I insist for an answer.. she just told me.. "I also don't know.. maybe he is not the one for you, or maybe GOD will make a way someday, for the 2 of you to be together.."
i again ask.. "ma, when will I meet the one for me? is there really someone for me? will I be happy? kase I have loved many times, why others they had it in their youth years.. my friends are all soon to wed.. I'll be alone soon.. but I am use to it.. doing things alone.. "
mom told me.. "maybe because you are in a hurry.. don't rush it.. it will come.."
"but when?"
.. all I dreamt of is to walk with the one will by GOD for me in this lifetime.. to be beside him and to share my life with him...
now i want to cry...
Oh GOD.. why...? I am happy alone.. but why did YOU waken my heart.. then now be put in this situation..
GOD.. I admit I am sinning.. I am sinning agaisnt YOU.. for I fail to glorify and think about you.. how I want to grow again in faith.. in love of YOU..
I know GOD that you are jealous.. sorry...
will he know his mistakes?
i trust YOU, GOD, that YOU are in control..
GOD pleaase forgive me.. help me...I need YOU more and more in my life..
please don't let me fall like this again..
GOD .. I love YOU.. YOU are my life..
wait.. why stop is the title of my post.. because I want to stop thinking of him.. I want to stop loving him.. I want to stop talking about him here sa blog.. because if I don't stop.. I won't be able to move on.. I want to share my responsibilities with my family.. my career.. my spiritual life.. not about him anymore...
then now i remember.. our senior pastor is unfair.. I am not ready to talk that day.. but they insist.. I lose my rights.. life is really indeed unfair.. specially for me... because I am living life..
GOD please be just.. ^^,
GOD I know YOU are with me.. please be always with me GOD..
what if I change.. I don't want to get married anymore.. I want to be alone forever.. I hate all the guys.. they are all the same.. can I have a baby without a father without doing immoral thing.. how i wish I can.. wish wish wish...sad life.. grr... im so sleepy.. I don't know what I am saying.. hahaha Good night.. to my readers.. please pray for me..thanks
~ if he loves me.. he will stay..
really, I want to move on, im okey, but I am not fine..
I just cling to this truth, that someday I know I will be happy too..
I know I am blessed with a pretty face.. slim curvacious body.. I have lots of guys who comes to me shhowing interest.. but these won't make me happy..
what will make me happy is to have my own family.. one thing been praying for GOD .. yet I always fail to have.. why? can anyone answer me?
now I often write blog.. because I don't want to talk to anyone at all.. I feel stupid asking mom, shobe, clods and joanna with my situation.. for I know what I am going through.. I don't need to hear their advices.. I know how to advice myself.. because I am asking wisdom from GOD..
this time, I do pray, but my prayer quality is not solid.. my Father ain't happy about it.. but I talk to HIM often, with many questions.. I guess I don't listen to HIS answers.. because I kept asking why??
right now Im still...
how I wish I could tell him what he did wrong.. that made an effect that cause me also to do wrong agaisnt him, that causes things to be so wrong..
don't ever say you are ready.. if you are not..
always be on time.. one major life rule.. if you are late.. you are out.. you lost.
did I lose him? or did I won anything?
losing him, only GOD knows.. learnings is what i've won.. got lots of learnings.. how I wish I could turn back time and change it.. but that's life.. many things are not meant to be change.. but take action, grow and be responsible for everything..
I don't like him, but I love him.. GOD what have you done?? what have you taught me? yeah now I don't suffer, I don't feel pain.. I am just full of question marks ??? why? why? why? but whatever happens GOD.. I trust YOU.. I trust YOU..
that I will be okey.. for YOU have plans for me.. not to harm me.. but to prosper me and give me hope..
GOD, did he prayed about me before? did he asked me from YOU?
why....
now, I know he don't anymore.. because GOD, YOU have remove the burden from me..
why did YOU chose to listen to him? and chose to use me?
this afternoon I asked mom.. "ma, why i felt GOD's leading? why I saw HIM work, but why did these things happened?" my mom can't answer me, she tried to change the topic.. but I insist for an answer.. she just told me.. "I also don't know.. maybe he is not the one for you, or maybe GOD will make a way someday, for the 2 of you to be together.."
i again ask.. "ma, when will I meet the one for me? is there really someone for me? will I be happy? kase I have loved many times, why others they had it in their youth years.. my friends are all soon to wed.. I'll be alone soon.. but I am use to it.. doing things alone.. "
mom told me.. "maybe because you are in a hurry.. don't rush it.. it will come.."
"but when?"
.. all I dreamt of is to walk with the one will by GOD for me in this lifetime.. to be beside him and to share my life with him...
now i want to cry...
Oh GOD.. why...? I am happy alone.. but why did YOU waken my heart.. then now be put in this situation..
GOD.. I admit I am sinning.. I am sinning agaisnt YOU.. for I fail to glorify and think about you.. how I want to grow again in faith.. in love of YOU..
I know GOD that you are jealous.. sorry...
will he know his mistakes?
i trust YOU, GOD, that YOU are in control..
GOD pleaase forgive me.. help me...I need YOU more and more in my life..
please don't let me fall like this again..
GOD .. I love YOU.. YOU are my life..
wait.. why stop is the title of my post.. because I want to stop thinking of him.. I want to stop loving him.. I want to stop talking about him here sa blog.. because if I don't stop.. I won't be able to move on.. I want to share my responsibilities with my family.. my career.. my spiritual life.. not about him anymore...
then now i remember.. our senior pastor is unfair.. I am not ready to talk that day.. but they insist.. I lose my rights.. life is really indeed unfair.. specially for me... because I am living life..
GOD please be just.. ^^,
GOD I know YOU are with me.. please be always with me GOD..
what if I change.. I don't want to get married anymore.. I want to be alone forever.. I hate all the guys.. they are all the same.. can I have a baby without a father without doing immoral thing.. how i wish I can.. wish wish wish...sad life.. grr... im so sleepy.. I don't know what I am saying.. hahaha Good night.. to my readers.. please pray for me..thanks
~ if he loves me.. he will stay..
Thursday, January 13, 2011
constant
GOD is the only ONE that never change... HE is faithful and just.. so loving and all-knowing.. just trust HIM.. all people may fail you, all people may disappoint and frustrate you.. but GOD won't.. HE is always true and HE is real.. for HE never change. keep that in mind ^_^ love HIM more.. that's the one super worth it thing to do in this world.. is to love GOD more than anything else, focus on HIM.. HIM alone. c",)
when the tears fall
so far.. not much tears falls my eyes.. I haven't cried really.. maybe because GOD knows HE is the ONE responsible for my pain.. HE led me here.. HE knows i obeyed.. it's hard.. the journey is tough.. but I arrived... I don't know if I am just not on time.. or maybe HE really planned it that way.. but whatever it is.. It is always GOD's leading I will follow.. no matter how hard it is.. HIS will I will fulfill.. ^^, no matter how painful it could get, I will still.. still follow.. because I am a servant... a servant would offer her/his life to HIS master, and that what I did.. right now I will be still and know that HE is GOD.
still right now, if giving those cards and letters are really bad or wrong.. but what I believe is GOD lead me to love.. I may fail in the ways of man.. but GOD knows I am just trying to fulfill HIS will in the way I know.. GOD knows this will happen.. and HE let it happened. all glory be to GOD, if HE use me for HIS glory, even if that will bring me pain and suffering, even if that will put me to shame, it's okey.. for my GOD, my FATHER, whom I will serve.
even as of now i don't have much tears, yet this song best describe how I feels.. maybe the tears are hold by GOD.. I don't know.. I don't know where my tears went.. I just don't see them..
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZWUimGv_xrU
I've had questions, without answers
I've known sorrow, I have known pain
But there's one thing, that I'll cling to
You are faithful, Jesus You're true
When hope is lost, I'll call You saviour
When pain surrounds, I'll call You healer
When silence falls, You'll be the song within my heart
In the lone hour of my sorrow
Through the darkest night of my soul
You surround me and sustain me
My defender, forevermore
I will praise You, I will praise You
When the tears fall, still I will sing to You
I will praise You, Jesus praise You
Through the suffering still I will sing
still right now, if giving those cards and letters are really bad or wrong.. but what I believe is GOD lead me to love.. I may fail in the ways of man.. but GOD knows I am just trying to fulfill HIS will in the way I know.. GOD knows this will happen.. and HE let it happened. all glory be to GOD, if HE use me for HIS glory, even if that will bring me pain and suffering, even if that will put me to shame, it's okey.. for my GOD, my FATHER, whom I will serve.
even as of now i don't have much tears, yet this song best describe how I feels.. maybe the tears are hold by GOD.. I don't know.. I don't know where my tears went.. I just don't see them..
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZWUimGv_xrU
I've had questions, without answers
I've known sorrow, I have known pain
But there's one thing, that I'll cling to
You are faithful, Jesus You're true
When hope is lost, I'll call You saviour
When pain surrounds, I'll call You healer
When silence falls, You'll be the song within my heart
In the lone hour of my sorrow
Through the darkest night of my soul
You surround me and sustain me
My defender, forevermore
I will praise You, I will praise You
When the tears fall, still I will sing to You
I will praise You, Jesus praise You
Through the suffering still I will sing
miss mama
I miss my mom.. she is in the airport right now.. in Zamboaga..on the way here.. later ill fetch her at terminal 3. she is on a vacation for 5 days.. and how I badly miss her.. really living apart from my mom is hard for me..all the camps, retreat, vacation and trips that I have..I always miss her.. her cook, I always love and missed.. that is why sometimes I don't know if I am ready to get married and move out.. because I really want to be right beside my mom all the time...
when I am broken.. sleeping beside my mom is the greatest medicine..
her hug makes me feel loved and secured...
her hug feels like she was saying this message to me... "everybody will leave you.. but not I, your mom... and everything will be okey"
this past weeks there's this phrase she always tells me.. "pakatatag ka.. "... "be firm.."
and everytime I feel weak.. I would always go back to that words..
how I love my mom.. and I thank GOD for giving me her..
when I am broken.. sleeping beside my mom is the greatest medicine..
her hug makes me feel loved and secured...
her hug feels like she was saying this message to me... "everybody will leave you.. but not I, your mom... and everything will be okey"
this past weeks there's this phrase she always tells me.. "pakatatag ka.. "... "be firm.."
and everytime I feel weak.. I would always go back to that words..
how I love my mom.. and I thank GOD for giving me her..
don't answer
after what happened? i learned my biggest lesson in life...
if someone asked you a question.. never ever answer... why? because they can use that answer agaisnt you someday..
like what my 4 friendsm, did to me.. here i'll name them.. (katherine, sabrina, marilyn and mary anne).. i thought they we're just friends..or too friendly to make friends with me.. but they prove me wrong.. they kept asking me questions.. just to investigate.. to spy about me..
I also learned.. never ever listen to people comment or suggestions.. even if they are your friends.. the better thing to do is keep silent.. think alone.. ask GOD for wisdom.. not human.. they will only share to you their human wisdom.. which is a failure!
i have a friend.. should I still call him friend? he keeps asking my life.. my love life.. name is miguel.. he asked me to do something I am not supposed to do.. that ruins everything. He asked me to tell that guy that I am waiting for him.. oh.. what a mess i did!! why did i listen? because I can get stupid sometimes.. after ruining my life.. he is not a friend to me anymore..
now i blog.. because i don't know who to trust anymore..i don't know who to talk.. and share all my thoughts..
being alone is great also.. there is peace..
if someone asked you a question.. never ever answer... why? because they can use that answer agaisnt you someday..
like what my 4 friendsm, did to me.. here i'll name them.. (katherine, sabrina, marilyn and mary anne).. i thought they we're just friends..or too friendly to make friends with me.. but they prove me wrong.. they kept asking me questions.. just to investigate.. to spy about me..
I also learned.. never ever listen to people comment or suggestions.. even if they are your friends.. the better thing to do is keep silent.. think alone.. ask GOD for wisdom.. not human.. they will only share to you their human wisdom.. which is a failure!
i have a friend.. should I still call him friend? he keeps asking my life.. my love life.. name is miguel.. he asked me to do something I am not supposed to do.. that ruins everything. He asked me to tell that guy that I am waiting for him.. oh.. what a mess i did!! why did i listen? because I can get stupid sometimes.. after ruining my life.. he is not a friend to me anymore..
now i blog.. because i don't know who to trust anymore..i don't know who to talk.. and share all my thoughts..
being alone is great also.. there is peace..
He don't know me..
He don't know me, because if he do.. he will stay..
yes!! i never showed 100% of who I am.. i never showed my good side.. because.. i believe in this.. "if a person really loves you... no matter there's no more reason to love you, he will stay... "
like a did.. I am crushed.. I am put to shame.. I am pushed.. all by him..
even my mind tells me leave..
my heart still choose to stay.. all I want him is to be okey.. happy.. I don't want people to leave him.. i want to be angry.. but deep inside im still loving.. how difficult..
how i hate this love that GOD has taught me.. how unselfish..
I have run the race.. I have finished the race.. i have keep the faith.. all I did is obey and trust..
why GOD? that's all I ask.. Why I am shaken the time I am trying to fulfill YOUR will..
why? why did these people who tries to ruin things..? comes.. whom shall I hate??
why did YOU and I let the enemy won?.. I think its my fault.. I am weak.. I failed to ask strength from YOU..
can we again fight the fight? but right now.. it is impossible for me to fight... all I can do is stand still and be firm..
but guess what.. he is not really my type.. I don't like him.. he i not the guy i dreamt of being my husband.. but.. GOD.. GOD made me love him.. now I am left here..
Grenade - bruno mars
http://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=grenade+bruno+mars&aq=f
yes!! i never showed 100% of who I am.. i never showed my good side.. because.. i believe in this.. "if a person really loves you... no matter there's no more reason to love you, he will stay... "
like a did.. I am crushed.. I am put to shame.. I am pushed.. all by him..
even my mind tells me leave..
my heart still choose to stay.. all I want him is to be okey.. happy.. I don't want people to leave him.. i want to be angry.. but deep inside im still loving.. how difficult..
how i hate this love that GOD has taught me.. how unselfish..
I have run the race.. I have finished the race.. i have keep the faith.. all I did is obey and trust..
why GOD? that's all I ask.. Why I am shaken the time I am trying to fulfill YOUR will..
why? why did these people who tries to ruin things..? comes.. whom shall I hate??
why did YOU and I let the enemy won?.. I think its my fault.. I am weak.. I failed to ask strength from YOU..
can we again fight the fight? but right now.. it is impossible for me to fight... all I can do is stand still and be firm..
but guess what.. he is not really my type.. I don't like him.. he i not the guy i dreamt of being my husband.. but.. GOD.. GOD made me love him.. now I am left here..
Grenade - bruno mars
http://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=grenade+bruno+mars&aq=f
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
Doubt
The more you doubt.. the more it happens.
because we are giving the enemy the power to ruin our lives, to not trust GOD but to trust on our misbeliefs.
our doubts are our hidden fears, or things that will make us miserable.
So don’t doubt, just trust GOD.
because we are giving the enemy the power to ruin our lives, to not trust GOD but to trust on our misbeliefs.
our doubts are our hidden fears, or things that will make us miserable.
So don’t doubt, just trust GOD.
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
Start
Start a fresh start. Start right. So that everything will be alright and will fall right.
I decide to move on, to give respect, to trust GOD, to forgive and
to love again someday, when I am healed.. love like I’ve never been hurt because loving is beautiful, to share, show and bestow GOD’s love.
I decide to move on, to give respect, to trust GOD, to forgive and
to love again someday, when I am healed.. love like I’ve never been hurt because loving is beautiful, to share, show and bestow GOD’s love.
Cheat
This is one thing I know, no matter how much you try to cheat love, it will not last… ^_^
GOD will not allow love to be cheated. Always remember the truth will always come out.
just be who you are. if it's yours, its yours, if its not.. it won't.
GOD will not allow love to be cheated. Always remember the truth will always come out.
just be who you are. if it's yours, its yours, if its not.. it won't.
Forgiveness
It is really hard to forgive, but forgiveness is like love,
It’s a decision.
We love because we decide to love; we forgive because we decide to forgive.
No matter how painful these people have caused us, forgiving them is the only right way out. There are no shortcuts or other way.. but to forgive.
Just remember this.. GOD has forgiven us our sins through Jesus Christ, so we must forgive others too.
we can pray to GOD to move, to cleans and to teach our hearts to forgive.
forgivenss is peacefulness.
It’s a decision.
We love because we decide to love; we forgive because we decide to forgive.
No matter how painful these people have caused us, forgiving them is the only right way out. There are no shortcuts or other way.. but to forgive.
Just remember this.. GOD has forgiven us our sins through Jesus Christ, so we must forgive others too.
we can pray to GOD to move, to cleans and to teach our hearts to forgive.
forgivenss is peacefulness.
Respect
We must always know how to respect people’s decision.
In love, if someone decided to dump us and not chose us, respect that.
And be happy for him/her/them, even if it sounds painful... because that’s true love, being happy for the person we love. If we really want him/her to be happy, it doesn't mean to be with us, sometimes we need to let them go.
and if they come back on time, they are ours, if not, they're not..
In love, if someone is in a relationship or if his/her heart belongs to someone (maybe M.U. or courting stage), respect that. Give them the space, even if their relationship is good or struggling. Because we wouldn’t want to have someone whose heart and mind belongs to somebody/someone else. we’ll end up not happy too.
that is what I am giving them, RESPECT, even if nobody gave that to me when I/we we're struggling.
In love, if someone decided to dump us and not chose us, respect that.
And be happy for him/her/them, even if it sounds painful... because that’s true love, being happy for the person we love. If we really want him/her to be happy, it doesn't mean to be with us, sometimes we need to let them go.
and if they come back on time, they are ours, if not, they're not..
In love, if someone is in a relationship or if his/her heart belongs to someone (maybe M.U. or courting stage), respect that. Give them the space, even if their relationship is good or struggling. Because we wouldn’t want to have someone whose heart and mind belongs to somebody/someone else. we’ll end up not happy too.
that is what I am giving them, RESPECT, even if nobody gave that to me when I/we we're struggling.
Next time
The next time I will love???
Hmmm been thinking of this…
Now that I am broken hearted, not advisable for me to jump anything in relate to love..
I must get my heart healed first then again set my standards..
Setting my standard will only remain a standard.. so that I’ll choose wisely..but
It is always GOD’s leading I will follow...
So whoever comes to me, does not mean they'll pass .. because even if they will pass my standard.. it is always GOD’s will that will prevail. ^_^
Hmmm been thinking of this…
Now that I am broken hearted, not advisable for me to jump anything in relate to love..
I must get my heart healed first then again set my standards..
Setting my standard will only remain a standard.. so that I’ll choose wisely..but
It is always GOD’s leading I will follow...
So whoever comes to me, does not mean they'll pass .. because even if they will pass my standard.. it is always GOD’s will that will prevail. ^_^
Moving on
Is it hard to move on?
No, after what he did…
actually no, because this is the only thing/option i have.. after what happened..
He made me feel that he is not worthy of my love.. so what should I do now diba?
move on...
Does he have an idea what path I took…? the road I travelled just to be with him? Just to arrive.. and tell him “Im ready” .. im ready to know him..
I’ve cried a river… im wounded… and in that journey even I am not healed I still kept moving and fighting..
Yet I am left like this…felt so abandoned with full of shame and brokeness.. "sounds bitter"hehe
And still, even if I don’t understand, I can say GOD is really good, imagine how painful for me was everything.. but not a pain did I felt.. only a minute of teary eyes and that's it.. I can feel GOD is protecting my heart, HE is holding it, for HE know HE is the One who is responsible for everything that happened… hehehe
As I’ve said GOD leads me here… HE used me.. a servant is used by HIS master..
Now, I can say, I can face GOD, and tell HIM,
”GOD I am faithful, I have finished your assignment for me, YOU saw my hardship, my struggle and my love for YOU, that is how obedient I can be to YOU, Father.”
I will just pray that my faithfulness and obedience to GOD will continue… that I may live my life in full obedience with HIS commands.
I didn’t really know what to expect when I arrived, but still GOD is in control.. HE planned everything to be like this for HIS glory.
So whatever it may seem, I’ll move on and still give my life to GOD.. in full trust, control and leading.
No, after what he did…
actually no, because this is the only thing/option i have.. after what happened..
He made me feel that he is not worthy of my love.. so what should I do now diba?
move on...
Does he have an idea what path I took…? the road I travelled just to be with him? Just to arrive.. and tell him “Im ready” .. im ready to know him..
I’ve cried a river… im wounded… and in that journey even I am not healed I still kept moving and fighting..
Yet I am left like this…felt so abandoned with full of shame and brokeness.. "sounds bitter"hehe
And still, even if I don’t understand, I can say GOD is really good, imagine how painful for me was everything.. but not a pain did I felt.. only a minute of teary eyes and that's it.. I can feel GOD is protecting my heart, HE is holding it, for HE know HE is the One who is responsible for everything that happened… hehehe
As I’ve said GOD leads me here… HE used me.. a servant is used by HIS master..
Now, I can say, I can face GOD, and tell HIM,
”GOD I am faithful, I have finished your assignment for me, YOU saw my hardship, my struggle and my love for YOU, that is how obedient I can be to YOU, Father.”
I will just pray that my faithfulness and obedience to GOD will continue… that I may live my life in full obedience with HIS commands.
I didn’t really know what to expect when I arrived, but still GOD is in control.. HE planned everything to be like this for HIS glory.
So whatever it may seem, I’ll move on and still give my life to GOD.. in full trust, control and leading.
If it’s GOD’s will, HE will make a way…
So amazing how GOD work in our lives…even in simple things.. me being in Baguio and joining the winter camp is GOD’s will.. maybe.. maybe HE just wanted to put an end with all my suffering… I don’t know, but what I do know is that GOD is at work…
When I registered for the camp, the slot for the girls is already closed.. limited slot only.. that was 3rd week of November so what more can I expect? The camp is open for campers with ages 15 to 25.. the time I register I was still 25 years old.. so they just put me on a waiting list.. the camp officers said that if someone back out I’ll get the slot. A week after, my sister told me that her friend might back out, but after a week again, she told me that her friend won’t back out anymore, so seems to be the door is closed for me, December I turned 26, okey a total disqualification hehe but as I am driving to church 2nd Sunday of December, I prayed to GOD, O well if it’s your will for me to be in the camp, thy will be done, nothing is impossible with HIM, HE will make a way, that day, my sister and some camp officers looked for me to tell me that I can join, that someone backed out. So see how GOD worked? Nothing is impossible with Him if we only believe, and if it is really HIS will.
When I registered for the camp, the slot for the girls is already closed.. limited slot only.. that was 3rd week of November so what more can I expect? The camp is open for campers with ages 15 to 25.. the time I register I was still 25 years old.. so they just put me on a waiting list.. the camp officers said that if someone back out I’ll get the slot. A week after, my sister told me that her friend might back out, but after a week again, she told me that her friend won’t back out anymore, so seems to be the door is closed for me, December I turned 26, okey a total disqualification hehe but as I am driving to church 2nd Sunday of December, I prayed to GOD, O well if it’s your will for me to be in the camp, thy will be done, nothing is impossible with HIM, HE will make a way, that day, my sister and some camp officers looked for me to tell me that I can join, that someone backed out. So see how GOD worked? Nothing is impossible with Him if we only believe, and if it is really HIS will.
Sunday, January 2, 2011
Stay on the road
For the past two months.. November and December… Im walking.. keep walking to get to the finish line.. as I walk to the valley of shadow of death.. which I meant hardship.. reaching the end I felt so wounded and weary.. but still I draw strength from GOD for I know the guy that I love is waiting.. waiting for me to arrive.. I struggle to be ready.. I don’t want to be selfish..I want to give what he is waiting for a year and so… for I want to make GOD and him happy.. I want to give what I am to give.. everyday I cried.. everyday I pray.. everyday I rely on GOD.. just too reach the end… his eyes gives me courage to continue, while I put all my trust, faith and hope to our GOD.
In this time, I saw him, he is waiting, I know he is tired but what makes me fight is his love, he is waiting for me this long. A thing that will prove that he loves me. In this journey I want to share this song.. that I happen to use to describe my walk to his heart
Title : stay on the road
Singer: Corrine May
Lyrics:
Don't turn your laughing eyes away
You know I love you
There's no need to be afraid
Hearts are made to be broken
They get stronger by the day
I'll take a chance and drop all my defenses
Just to hear you say
How long is the road
How long is the ride
How long is the darkness till we get to the light
Go easy on me
Cause you already know
No matter the distance
I'll stay on the road to your heart
You say I've been a fool too long
You wonder why I have the strength to carry on
I see through your weakness
Your tough guy iron mask
It's not really that hard or complicated
There's no need to ask
How long is the road
How long is the ride
How long is the darkness till we get to the light
Go easy on me
Cause you already know
No matter the distance
I'll stay on the road to your heart
I'll stay on the road to your heart
I'll stay on the road to your heart
In this walk, a year and half of walk, I don’t understand many things, why something is drawing me back, something is pulling me away, yet GOD’s leading is present and I have this burden to finish the race/journey, to reach the end, which I happen not to know what to expect when I arrive. I don’t know why I can’t speak when he is near or infront of me, I don’t know.. I don’t know why if I am okey he is not and vice versa. I think GOD’s time is not yet present. Or maybe GOD has another plan. Which I don’t know. So all I do then is trust GOD.
In this time, I saw him, he is waiting, I know he is tired but what makes me fight is his love, he is waiting for me this long. A thing that will prove that he loves me. In this journey I want to share this song.. that I happen to use to describe my walk to his heart
Title : stay on the road
Singer: Corrine May
Lyrics:
Don't turn your laughing eyes away
You know I love you
There's no need to be afraid
Hearts are made to be broken
They get stronger by the day
I'll take a chance and drop all my defenses
Just to hear you say
How long is the road
How long is the ride
How long is the darkness till we get to the light
Go easy on me
Cause you already know
No matter the distance
I'll stay on the road to your heart
You say I've been a fool too long
You wonder why I have the strength to carry on
I see through your weakness
Your tough guy iron mask
It's not really that hard or complicated
There's no need to ask
How long is the road
How long is the ride
How long is the darkness till we get to the light
Go easy on me
Cause you already know
No matter the distance
I'll stay on the road to your heart
I'll stay on the road to your heart
I'll stay on the road to your heart
In this walk, a year and half of walk, I don’t understand many things, why something is drawing me back, something is pulling me away, yet GOD’s leading is present and I have this burden to finish the race/journey, to reach the end, which I happen not to know what to expect when I arrive. I don’t know why I can’t speak when he is near or infront of me, I don’t know.. I don’t know why if I am okey he is not and vice versa. I think GOD’s time is not yet present. Or maybe GOD has another plan. Which I don’t know. So all I do then is trust GOD.
Saturday, November 20, 2010
Adjust
Recently I learn that I need to adjust to the will of GOD, yeah I admit it’s my entire fault. Because of my great fear. But still it always takes 2 to tango. Hehehe well I am adjusting now, I am trying to be calm all the time, and to have control. I’m a very impulsive person. I’m learning how to control my emotions so that when I see him I wont get wrong, I wont hurt him, GOD is slowly showing me everything, what to do and what I have done, and teaching me of how to improve and all. HE is really amazing. Now I have to learn to talk to him not in panic mode, I need to learn to converse with him, and I need to learn to smile to him, very important, because we two started with a smile. Imagine how simple does my problem sound, but guess what it’s really a big problem to me. Hahaha I keep practicing, looking at the mirror practising how to talk to him, how to smile to him, how to approach, what to say, not just for a moment ah, I’ve been thinking how to adjust the whole day, imagine that, this really taking me a big effort, if he only knew. It’s really hard for me, I don’t know why too, in my whole life, I think this is the first time I felt something like this, too awkward too weird for me, because I am a people relation person, but with him, my tongue is gone, when I see him I panic, and I want to hide, hahaha torpe! Torpe ako! Hahaha I don’t know, hay.. how I hope to say to him to please exert more effort, because I am having a hard time, the thing is we we’re the same, Torpe! hehehe And I know he have exerted effort too, and got hurt, how I wanted to say sorry ^_^ anyway since GOD is leading me to exert more effort in adjusting, I will. ^_^
Thursday, November 18, 2010
Love Phobia
When I was younger, I never thought that there will be a thing such as love phobia, but there is. And I am one of the patient of this social anxiety disorder. O yes.. im one of the people who have phobias. I also can’t believe.. but with my past love life no wonder. Its really hard to fight phobia. Its like dying over and over again. Can u imagine seeing the one you love, every time you do, you die. You die because you love him, you die because you are afraid to love him, but guess what? It’s stupidity. What the Bible say is true, GOD is Love, and perfect love drives away fear. For love dispels darkness. Love washes out and burns negativity. Love shines and penetrates like the rays of the Sun. Love always heals.
1Corinthian 13:4-8 Love is patient. Love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices in the truth. Love always protects, trust, always hopes and always perserverse. Love never fails.
It’s funny to be afraid of loving for the reason of being afraid to be hurt, but what hurts most is not loving and loosing the person you love. So why fear? Instead… go and love. Show it. ^_^ and I will.. by GOD’s grace under HIS will whom I draw my strength.
1Corinthian 13:4-8 Love is patient. Love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices in the truth. Love always protects, trust, always hopes and always perserverse. Love never fails.
It’s funny to be afraid of loving for the reason of being afraid to be hurt, but what hurts most is not loving and loosing the person you love. So why fear? Instead… go and love. Show it. ^_^ and I will.. by GOD’s grace under HIS will whom I draw my strength.
Don’t rush
“Don’t rush because if you do, you will only hurt yourself.”
What a sentence, but profoundly very true. How can you be on something GOD is not yet done preparing or haven’t finished doing. the servant should wait on his Master for the assignment. So be patient and wait. Let GOD use times of waiting to mold and shape your character. Let GOD use those times to purify your life and make you into a clean vessel for HIS service. as you obey HIM, GOD will prepare you for the assignment that is just right for you.
What a sentence, but profoundly very true. How can you be on something GOD is not yet done preparing or haven’t finished doing. the servant should wait on his Master for the assignment. So be patient and wait. Let GOD use times of waiting to mold and shape your character. Let GOD use those times to purify your life and make you into a clean vessel for HIS service. as you obey HIM, GOD will prepare you for the assignment that is just right for you.
Jealous GOD
GOD said that HE is a jealous GOD. HE wants to be love 1st above all. I will my GOD. ^_^
Monday, November 15, 2010
Ready
Ready? Am I ready?
Hmmm
Recently I always ask myself this. Am I ready for love? Favourite topic hahaha
Last time, I wasn’t ready for love. Now am I?
Go back to last time. Yes last time I am not ready for love, because I am too afraid. Afraid to get hurt again. My whole life is full of hurt, because of love that is why I am fearful. Not until I knew it was him, perfect love drives out fear.
GOD is preparing me to be ready. That’s all I know. I can see GOD hands in everything.
All this time I am thinking that how can I be ready if he is not ready. Just this moment I realize that… how can he also be ready if I am not ready. Because all this time I was just waiting for him to be ready. So is he. So we were both waiting. Okey so nothing will happen hahaha
Ok. So it really takes 2 to tango. Wait..
Is this silence healthy? It’s a risk. But yes it’s a need. Why? so both will take time to think.
Space is really needed. For people to grow and matured. Even Jesus take a pause.
He took a pause to know and make clear the will of GOD.
In this silence I learned some of the things I need to know with life. The things I need to improve and change. The mistakes I commit. And the failures I am doing.
It is not only I who needs to think, improve and learn, he also. But let us not focus on his mistakes. Let him do his own blog posting all his.hehehe everything should focus first on their own mistakes, before looking at other’s mistakes.
Now I am ready. Yet still, GOD knows when is really the ready time, maybe GOD will still want to show me additional leading before totally be ready. I will just continually pray to GOD to let everything fall into place.
And I will continually pray that GOD will ready both. So that in HIS time everything will be beautiful ^_^
Just be ready!!
Hmmm
Recently I always ask myself this. Am I ready for love? Favourite topic hahaha
Last time, I wasn’t ready for love. Now am I?
Go back to last time. Yes last time I am not ready for love, because I am too afraid. Afraid to get hurt again. My whole life is full of hurt, because of love that is why I am fearful. Not until I knew it was him, perfect love drives out fear.
GOD is preparing me to be ready. That’s all I know. I can see GOD hands in everything.
All this time I am thinking that how can I be ready if he is not ready. Just this moment I realize that… how can he also be ready if I am not ready. Because all this time I was just waiting for him to be ready. So is he. So we were both waiting. Okey so nothing will happen hahaha
Ok. So it really takes 2 to tango. Wait..
Is this silence healthy? It’s a risk. But yes it’s a need. Why? so both will take time to think.
Space is really needed. For people to grow and matured. Even Jesus take a pause.
He took a pause to know and make clear the will of GOD.
In this silence I learned some of the things I need to know with life. The things I need to improve and change. The mistakes I commit. And the failures I am doing.
It is not only I who needs to think, improve and learn, he also. But let us not focus on his mistakes. Let him do his own blog posting all his.hehehe everything should focus first on their own mistakes, before looking at other’s mistakes.
Now I am ready. Yet still, GOD knows when is really the ready time, maybe GOD will still want to show me additional leading before totally be ready. I will just continually pray to GOD to let everything fall into place.
And I will continually pray that GOD will ready both. So that in HIS time everything will be beautiful ^_^
Just be ready!!
Self control
This is one of the fruit of the Holy Spirit.
Galatians 5:22-23 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.
This is the truth, I lack self control, I easily get addicted to things that’s why I always practice prevention is better than cure, I can’t control my emotions, if I am happy, I am hyper happy, same with sadness and madness. I can’t also control my mouth, I have a big mouth, I always talk, I talk a lot. I always say my thoughts. Sometimes I fail to think before I talk. Same with texting messages, I always text I even text my thoughts. I need to control all these. Because my strengths becomes my weakness because of lack of self-control. I am too impulsive. My service to GOD also get affected. Now I have to stop all these before I can get back to my service. Because I first need to know how to control. Now I am praying to GOD to teach me how to control.
Galatians 5:22-23 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.
This is the truth, I lack self control, I easily get addicted to things that’s why I always practice prevention is better than cure, I can’t control my emotions, if I am happy, I am hyper happy, same with sadness and madness. I can’t also control my mouth, I have a big mouth, I always talk, I talk a lot. I always say my thoughts. Sometimes I fail to think before I talk. Same with texting messages, I always text I even text my thoughts. I need to control all these. Because my strengths becomes my weakness because of lack of self-control. I am too impulsive. My service to GOD also get affected. Now I have to stop all these before I can get back to my service. Because I first need to know how to control. Now I am praying to GOD to teach me how to control.
Friday, November 12, 2010
foothold
the real foodthold of the enemy to me is facebook and ym, here he deceives me and twist my mind, he try to make me confuse. he uses people to confuse me. Oh how thankful Iam that I have GOD, HE saves me. I love GOD.
LOVE
GOD gave you to me... GOD made me love you and it wont change. ^_^ the love is from GOD. it's from GOD. amazing. love is true, true love is from true love. ^_^
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c9taG2SSp8k
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c9taG2SSp8k
in a week of silence
after surrendering everything to GOD. i had a week of silence. where i dont entertain talks.. only with my best friend C and sister S, i only release emotions to them, but practising not to listen with their comments. it is only to GOD i will listen. no advice is best suitable for this. it is only GOD's voice i will follow. i will only obey the voice that I believe. today everything is well and okey. how i hope i can tell him right away, but no, GOD said to me, not a word. i still have no commands to text him, but i will greet him later. im so excited, because i know I am released from my fears. i have broken the enemy's foothold. and I thank GOD. Im hoping in GOD's time that everything will fall into place. for HIS glory. i will repeatedly say to all "I will fulfill the will of GOD." in HIM i draw strength. I will walk in faith with HIM, in HIM i trust. in HIM i hope and in HIM I believe. I will always believe. GOD is at work, I see HIM work and I feel HIM work. if GOD is with us, who can be against us. GOD will continue to work, just listen to HIS voice. I love YOU GOD.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Pn4KQqSrrA
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Pn4KQqSrrA
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
fixing my life
GOD wants me to fix my life first, HE wants me to solve all my unresolve issues in my life, from childhood to present, so that i'll be ready, this is HIS preparation for me to be the right one when the one HE will for me comes...because i won't be able to fix the other areas of my life if i am not totally healed...i still believe what GOD has instore for me, HE just wants me to obey, like what HE told me, not a word, now Iam doing it, HE wants me to surrender it all.. i asked GOD how, now HE is teaching me how, HE is teaching me to give my most important part of my life to HIM, for HE knew best. HE wants me to let go, HE don't want me to have a strong grip on it, because HE can see me wounded and weary, GOD truly loves me. and Iam taking a big risk.. all in as Lin Bok Su said.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yvgvYFxW_QM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x9geV211GHU
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yvgvYFxW_QM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x9geV211GHU
good to have GOD
one good thing of having a GOD is that HE will teach you to forgive people many times, several times, all the time, even they didn't ask forgiveness from you. GOD will give you a kind, loving, forgiving and obedient heart.
another good thing is that when you fully surrender your life to GOD, everything will be light, the will of GOD should not be heavy and burdensome, if you give entrust HIM to lead you, to walk in HIS path, in HIS strength and in HIS ways. just follow.
another good thing is that when you fully surrender your life to GOD, everything will be light, the will of GOD should not be heavy and burdensome, if you give entrust HIM to lead you, to walk in HIS path, in HIS strength and in HIS ways. just follow.
Sunday, November 7, 2010
GOD is at work
just keep quiet mj.. GOD is at work... trust.. surrender... have faith and obey.. and be free.. because you are in the truth... ^_^
lucky 8 (this must be published)
my new courting rules!! a must!!
1. Pray to GOD
2. Talk to Lin Bok Su , he should know
3. Clear his intentions to me
4. Public should know (my friends, my church mates, his family, his friends, his church mates )
5. He has to prove it
6. Only 1 month minimum to court me 3 months maximum
7. only places to court me 1st UECM (church), 2nd group dates, 3rd House (i will tell if he seems to pass hehehe)
8. Go back to GOD and pray
who will dare??? ^_^ GOD bless... I will just know if its GOD's will... also i have no compromise.. after all i've been through.. ^_^
1. Pray to GOD
2. Talk to Lin Bok Su , he should know
3. Clear his intentions to me
4. Public should know (my friends, my church mates, his family, his friends, his church mates )
5. He has to prove it
6. Only 1 month minimum to court me 3 months maximum
7. only places to court me 1st UECM (church), 2nd group dates, 3rd House (i will tell if he seems to pass hehehe)
8. Go back to GOD and pray
who will dare??? ^_^ GOD bless... I will just know if its GOD's will... also i have no compromise.. after all i've been through.. ^_^
my love to my LOVE
my love to my LOVE....
enough is enough... three times is too much ^_^
time to be back to reality. i cannot live in his crazy world full of analyzation. ill get insane. and I am sane.. i cannot conform to him, i love him so much that i keep adjusting to him. i can no longer do this. he havent proven anything. and me i have proven everything. ive waited for 1.5 years.. i did compromise, i closed my door and windows to all guys, so that it would not be hard for him. oh well, i have just surrender everything to GOD.. ^_^ im happy to be in the truth.. ^_^
enough is enough... three times is too much ^_^
time to be back to reality. i cannot live in his crazy world full of analyzation. ill get insane. and I am sane.. i cannot conform to him, i love him so much that i keep adjusting to him. i can no longer do this. he havent proven anything. and me i have proven everything. ive waited for 1.5 years.. i did compromise, i closed my door and windows to all guys, so that it would not be hard for him. oh well, i have just surrender everything to GOD.. ^_^ im happy to be in the truth.. ^_^
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
welcome back mj at multiply.. goodbye FB hehehe
im going back to multiply.. i find peace here.. than .. u know hehe
since people are too busy FBing.. ill be busy MULTIPLYing.. hehehehe
the past months.. life becomes so complicated for me.. many times i don't understand things anymore.. not the life i have before.. i don't know if ill be happy or what.. before these things happen.. my life is at peace... calm... so spontaneous.. so joyful.. so fun... free indeed... thats the time im growing in GOD's love.. the time where I am strengthening my foundation.. and nurishing and purifying myself with GOD's love... feeding my mind more of HIS words... things like that.. I was also aware then that I am full of peace and happy.. didn't expect that when one gets matured.. one has to be used.. one has to be called.. one gets to be attacked... sounds Crazy huh? o yeah..im in this crazy spiritual secular world right now...its like walking in 2 worlds... while you keep walking and following the spiritual call.. your secular body suffers alot... the past weeks i just wish that nobody sees me... only to people who i trust... the past days.. i hate being asked how iam.. because i no longer know how to answer that question.. i just wish not to talk to anyone.. i just want to talk to people who i want to talk to... i wish ..yeah because i know what i want is impossible.. really its hard to be called and to follow obey and understand things you dont understand.. hard.. how i wish GOD would just show up and explain to everyone what HE has called me... so that it wont be hard for me.. but that's where faith and trust comes... then my oh so...being practice book.. the book of JAMES...
consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perserverance. perserverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. if anyone lacks wisdom, he should ask GOD,who gives generously without finding fault, and it will be given to him. but when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubt is like the wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. that man should not think he will receive anything from the Lord, he is a double minded man, unstable in all he does. James 1:2-8
yes!! yes!! yes!! im trying to be in joy in rejoice while in this trial.. the trial is really hard..im crying in pain while trying to give thanks and rejoice.. and really what the Bible says is so true.. you have to persevere.. to mature more in faith.. i always ask GOD for wisdom, HE do give.. HE answer.. awesome indeed.. but the problem is.. at first im stable..happy.. at go go go mode.. but then along the way im being tossed by the wind.. im in doubt because the wisdom that i had was so different from what iam hearing and seeing in this secular world.. im always shaken..im always being attacked by satan.. he is clever.. that i can say.. but with that.. i pray hard.. all the scripture im reading enters my mind.. Bible words to the rescue.. thank GOD.
i also did needed tha book of Proverbs, Eccleciates, Job, Jeremiah and Psalms..
walking by faith.. sometimes sound stupid for other people.. even with some spiritual people. they don't understand my call.. because they always use their practical worldly mind their logical point of view to view my call or my situation... so i hate to talk to people who cant understand because its pointless. i wont get help but instead advices ill later regret.. because these are not from my faith. but even like this.. i understand them.. they care so they want what they thought good for me..or right. but the thing is its not their call.. its my call. how hard it is to be called.
why iam suffering now? its all my fault.. why? because i first ignore my call.. because then i dont understand.. plus this person.. he dont know what he is doing.. he never pointed out his true intention.. he is making me think crazy then.. and now i become really crazy. but i was also in fear... satan is using my fear then to not make this fulfilled... i was living in fear then.. i was so fearful.. and i know thats my sin .. so now im punished.. tsk tsk tsk
i have overcome my fear.. and i fought.. i ran the race... but still now i havent finished the will.. so im dead to GOD.. once HE got mad at me when i told HIM i dont want this anymore i want this stop.. HE granted but guess what.. HE made me suffer.. HE made me feel pain... til i asked for forgiveness and promised HIM that i will finish this whatever it takes. and proving HIM that Iam enduring the pains.. now, HE is still at lead in my life.. leads my every step.. HE just taught me to pray super duper often as possible.. to pray for even super small things possible... in everything i learned to pray.. because without HIS leading HIS wisdom.. im lost then i suffer...so now i know the value and power of prayer... even in sound small things..i could be big.
now GOD is teaching me to surrender it all to HIM that my power is not enough that when I fight i should learn how to trust HIM and surrender everything to HIM and HE will fight for me. that in everything .. it is not my ways.. it is always HIS ways.. hmm sound easy .. surrender all to HIM.. no, its not.. recently i always pray to HIM to help me know how to surrender it all to HIM.. because it aint easy.. really. HARD. a small grip is still a grip.
Time.. we can never plan anything in our time.. it is always HIS time.. so always be prepared.. because when HIS time comes.. you wouldn't want to missed it.. because HE might again got mad and again i might suffer... pls.. no to suffering anymore.. too much pain.. i have enough... huhuhu all i want is to follow and obey. to much disciplining GOD.. but still you always know what is enough.
Wait for the Lord, another lesson. o my my my.. what ah... yes really indeed wait is one of the hardest thing to do.. its easy to leave than to wait.. imagine waiting for someone in your house for 2 hours.. imagine that... what more waiting for HIS time for more than a year already.. to be almost exact 1 year and 6 months already... its a long wait.. all GOD is telling me WAIT.. WAIT.. WAIT... i always follow... many times i want to give up.. but GOD is drawing me back over and over again.. you know the feeling to be drag back.. thats what iam feeling.. im always drag back... as ive said its easier to leave... so happy to leave then drag back to suffer... imagine that!!! so the past weeks im not totally leaving what iam usually doing.. but now giving up is what iam into.. everytime iam to give up.. GOD gives reason not to.. amazing how HE works.. so beautiful... you will know that HE is really in control.. great!! the past weeks i always feel sophocated with the situation.. its like dying alive.. hard.. im still alive but feels like dying everyday.. i sometimes ask GOD.. can I just be with YOU.. because im in pain here.. yuhu... my Daddy GOD.. knock knock! hehe
in this trial i saw the enemy uses people who are also believers, but in weak state of faith, to attack, used them not to fulfill GOD's willed.. u know why? because the enemy knows... he knows who are his enemy.. he knows who gets strenghthen when the willed took place... he knows.. that is why.. he is focused working too.. working for this not to be fulfilled... but again thank GOD.. because when HE allowed the enemy, HE put me in trial.. not to simply make me just suffer... but to strengthen my faith.. because HE knows my capabilities and extends... great GOD.. worthy of praise.. yahoo!!
That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” 2 Corinthians 12:10
now my prayer is like this.. GOD im so helpless... nobody can help me but YOU, YOU are in this from the beginning... You worked , i saw and felt YOU working... YOU are so powerful, YOU move hearts, please work GOD, YOU are greater than this world. YOU know my fights, YOU know where iam now, YOU know im weary, wounded and weak. please help fulfilling YOUR will, since its YOUR plan.. may thy will be done... in YOUR ways oh Lord. Please hear YOUR servants cry for mercy. YOU know my heart, YOU know how i want to finished this.. In YOU i trust. I love YOU, GOD.
this is what i call spiritual fight... i thank GOD because im real HIS... and i know where i really belong... ^_^
here in my trials, i have applied all the pains i been through my life.. my love life.. now i understand why did they all happen... its for today.. for HIS glory.. ^_^
"true love never leaves true love, for true love waits for true love." - mj lee
"true love is from GOD, and the real true love will only comes from GOD our true love." - mj lee
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UMhbD1yl4rs
since people are too busy FBing.. ill be busy MULTIPLYing.. hehehehe
the past months.. life becomes so complicated for me.. many times i don't understand things anymore.. not the life i have before.. i don't know if ill be happy or what.. before these things happen.. my life is at peace... calm... so spontaneous.. so joyful.. so fun... free indeed... thats the time im growing in GOD's love.. the time where I am strengthening my foundation.. and nurishing and purifying myself with GOD's love... feeding my mind more of HIS words... things like that.. I was also aware then that I am full of peace and happy.. didn't expect that when one gets matured.. one has to be used.. one has to be called.. one gets to be attacked... sounds Crazy huh? o yeah..im in this crazy spiritual secular world right now...its like walking in 2 worlds... while you keep walking and following the spiritual call.. your secular body suffers alot... the past weeks i just wish that nobody sees me... only to people who i trust... the past days.. i hate being asked how iam.. because i no longer know how to answer that question.. i just wish not to talk to anyone.. i just want to talk to people who i want to talk to... i wish ..yeah because i know what i want is impossible.. really its hard to be called and to follow obey and understand things you dont understand.. hard.. how i wish GOD would just show up and explain to everyone what HE has called me... so that it wont be hard for me.. but that's where faith and trust comes... then my oh so...being practice book.. the book of JAMES...
consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perserverance. perserverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. if anyone lacks wisdom, he should ask GOD,who gives generously without finding fault, and it will be given to him. but when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubt is like the wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. that man should not think he will receive anything from the Lord, he is a double minded man, unstable in all he does. James 1:2-8
yes!! yes!! yes!! im trying to be in joy in rejoice while in this trial.. the trial is really hard..im crying in pain while trying to give thanks and rejoice.. and really what the Bible says is so true.. you have to persevere.. to mature more in faith.. i always ask GOD for wisdom, HE do give.. HE answer.. awesome indeed.. but the problem is.. at first im stable..happy.. at go go go mode.. but then along the way im being tossed by the wind.. im in doubt because the wisdom that i had was so different from what iam hearing and seeing in this secular world.. im always shaken..im always being attacked by satan.. he is clever.. that i can say.. but with that.. i pray hard.. all the scripture im reading enters my mind.. Bible words to the rescue.. thank GOD.
i also did needed tha book of Proverbs, Eccleciates, Job, Jeremiah and Psalms..
walking by faith.. sometimes sound stupid for other people.. even with some spiritual people. they don't understand my call.. because they always use their practical worldly mind their logical point of view to view my call or my situation... so i hate to talk to people who cant understand because its pointless. i wont get help but instead advices ill later regret.. because these are not from my faith. but even like this.. i understand them.. they care so they want what they thought good for me..or right. but the thing is its not their call.. its my call. how hard it is to be called.
why iam suffering now? its all my fault.. why? because i first ignore my call.. because then i dont understand.. plus this person.. he dont know what he is doing.. he never pointed out his true intention.. he is making me think crazy then.. and now i become really crazy. but i was also in fear... satan is using my fear then to not make this fulfilled... i was living in fear then.. i was so fearful.. and i know thats my sin .. so now im punished.. tsk tsk tsk
i have overcome my fear.. and i fought.. i ran the race... but still now i havent finished the will.. so im dead to GOD.. once HE got mad at me when i told HIM i dont want this anymore i want this stop.. HE granted but guess what.. HE made me suffer.. HE made me feel pain... til i asked for forgiveness and promised HIM that i will finish this whatever it takes. and proving HIM that Iam enduring the pains.. now, HE is still at lead in my life.. leads my every step.. HE just taught me to pray super duper often as possible.. to pray for even super small things possible... in everything i learned to pray.. because without HIS leading HIS wisdom.. im lost then i suffer...so now i know the value and power of prayer... even in sound small things..i could be big.
now GOD is teaching me to surrender it all to HIM that my power is not enough that when I fight i should learn how to trust HIM and surrender everything to HIM and HE will fight for me. that in everything .. it is not my ways.. it is always HIS ways.. hmm sound easy .. surrender all to HIM.. no, its not.. recently i always pray to HIM to help me know how to surrender it all to HIM.. because it aint easy.. really. HARD. a small grip is still a grip.
Time.. we can never plan anything in our time.. it is always HIS time.. so always be prepared.. because when HIS time comes.. you wouldn't want to missed it.. because HE might again got mad and again i might suffer... pls.. no to suffering anymore.. too much pain.. i have enough... huhuhu all i want is to follow and obey. to much disciplining GOD.. but still you always know what is enough.
Wait for the Lord, another lesson. o my my my.. what ah... yes really indeed wait is one of the hardest thing to do.. its easy to leave than to wait.. imagine waiting for someone in your house for 2 hours.. imagine that... what more waiting for HIS time for more than a year already.. to be almost exact 1 year and 6 months already... its a long wait.. all GOD is telling me WAIT.. WAIT.. WAIT... i always follow... many times i want to give up.. but GOD is drawing me back over and over again.. you know the feeling to be drag back.. thats what iam feeling.. im always drag back... as ive said its easier to leave... so happy to leave then drag back to suffer... imagine that!!! so the past weeks im not totally leaving what iam usually doing.. but now giving up is what iam into.. everytime iam to give up.. GOD gives reason not to.. amazing how HE works.. so beautiful... you will know that HE is really in control.. great!! the past weeks i always feel sophocated with the situation.. its like dying alive.. hard.. im still alive but feels like dying everyday.. i sometimes ask GOD.. can I just be with YOU.. because im in pain here.. yuhu... my Daddy GOD.. knock knock! hehe
in this trial i saw the enemy uses people who are also believers, but in weak state of faith, to attack, used them not to fulfill GOD's willed.. u know why? because the enemy knows... he knows who are his enemy.. he knows who gets strenghthen when the willed took place... he knows.. that is why.. he is focused working too.. working for this not to be fulfilled... but again thank GOD.. because when HE allowed the enemy, HE put me in trial.. not to simply make me just suffer... but to strengthen my faith.. because HE knows my capabilities and extends... great GOD.. worthy of praise.. yahoo!!
That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” 2 Corinthians 12:10
now my prayer is like this.. GOD im so helpless... nobody can help me but YOU, YOU are in this from the beginning... You worked , i saw and felt YOU working... YOU are so powerful, YOU move hearts, please work GOD, YOU are greater than this world. YOU know my fights, YOU know where iam now, YOU know im weary, wounded and weak. please help fulfilling YOUR will, since its YOUR plan.. may thy will be done... in YOUR ways oh Lord. Please hear YOUR servants cry for mercy. YOU know my heart, YOU know how i want to finished this.. In YOU i trust. I love YOU, GOD.
this is what i call spiritual fight... i thank GOD because im real HIS... and i know where i really belong... ^_^
here in my trials, i have applied all the pains i been through my life.. my love life.. now i understand why did they all happen... its for today.. for HIS glory.. ^_^
"true love never leaves true love, for true love waits for true love." - mj lee
"true love is from GOD, and the real true love will only comes from GOD our true love." - mj lee
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UMhbD1yl4rs
Monday, September 13, 2010
LOVE that is willed
still..I believe true LOVE comes from GOD.HE will give the gift of love to that certain person HE willed for,& HE will give it to both at the same time.also they will both feel HE is working & leading them about it.the enemy is wise & manipulative to use fear of both to destroy them.but GOD will not allow HE has great ...plans.just have faith & wait for the Lord.the will of GOD will take place at HIS time.at HIS time.
Friday, September 3, 2010
Still
Being still is something hard to do, but if it’s for GOD’s glory, I will.
I don’t know, but I receive a message of being STILL, regarding my love life, last August 15, 2010, when Reverend Harg Ang is the one leading the sermon and Elliott Chua is the one translating, this is the same message I receive from the LORD, I may not know HIS plan, but I will follow. I will wait for the LORD.
What is being still before the LORD?
It is enjoying GOD’s presence while waiting. Enjoying, loving, knowing, serving and being patient while listening, obeying…and waiting for HIS next command. For HIS time. In HIS time.
If I am very busy, I have to prioritize spend time with the LORD and listen to HIM.
If I spend time, I must not keep talking, one way communication is not good, it should always be two way, I should also learn and know how to listen.
Believe and never doubt. Just trust. Full trust,
Then follow and obey HIS commands.
Another strong reason for being still..
It is better to be single than marry someone who is not will by GOD for me.
~what an insight..
Struggles of being still,
1. O well, I am blessed with the gift of human relation, I am so friendly that guys find it easy to approach me and be friend with me, so I am having lot of guys who comes after me, hard, hard to reject or ignore them, hard to be not friendly, hard to be still at first because some are really okey in different ways GOD made them to be. But if they are not, I cannot also entertain them, I have to be cold to them. Satan is using them to distract me without them knowing it. We all know that satan don't want GOD's will to take place. It will ruin him, he knows that. So all I do is pray for everything. And super thank GOD, HE is drawing me close and close to HIM. Praise HIM.
2. Another, hay this guy who is willed by GOD to me, is also an eligible bachelor, he is really okey, so ladies are texting, ym-ing and FB-ing me also, they are asking lots of questions, and doing whatever things. Before this ladies shakes me, but now GOD’s leading is so obvious that made me very strong in my stand of still. O well, this is GOD’s will, tough, painful and confusing at first. But when you fully listen and obey, fully have surrendered to GOD all, and fully trust HIM, everything is not hard at all, tough yes!! But not tough because I have GOD hehehe
I have an end up question:
Is he experiencing same toughness struggles like me? I hope I can share this to him, but I can’t because I am still hahaha =P but I know, we we're both relying and trusting GOD. Praise GOD.
I don’t know, but I receive a message of being STILL, regarding my love life, last August 15, 2010, when Reverend Harg Ang is the one leading the sermon and Elliott Chua is the one translating, this is the same message I receive from the LORD, I may not know HIS plan, but I will follow. I will wait for the LORD.
What is being still before the LORD?
It is enjoying GOD’s presence while waiting. Enjoying, loving, knowing, serving and being patient while listening, obeying…and waiting for HIS next command. For HIS time. In HIS time.
If I am very busy, I have to prioritize spend time with the LORD and listen to HIM.
If I spend time, I must not keep talking, one way communication is not good, it should always be two way, I should also learn and know how to listen.
Believe and never doubt. Just trust. Full trust,
Then follow and obey HIS commands.
Another strong reason for being still..
It is better to be single than marry someone who is not will by GOD for me.
~what an insight..
Struggles of being still,
1. O well, I am blessed with the gift of human relation, I am so friendly that guys find it easy to approach me and be friend with me, so I am having lot of guys who comes after me, hard, hard to reject or ignore them, hard to be not friendly, hard to be still at first because some are really okey in different ways GOD made them to be. But if they are not, I cannot also entertain them, I have to be cold to them. Satan is using them to distract me without them knowing it. We all know that satan don't want GOD's will to take place. It will ruin him, he knows that. So all I do is pray for everything. And super thank GOD, HE is drawing me close and close to HIM. Praise HIM.
2. Another, hay this guy who is willed by GOD to me, is also an eligible bachelor, he is really okey, so ladies are texting, ym-ing and FB-ing me also, they are asking lots of questions, and doing whatever things. Before this ladies shakes me, but now GOD’s leading is so obvious that made me very strong in my stand of still. O well, this is GOD’s will, tough, painful and confusing at first. But when you fully listen and obey, fully have surrendered to GOD all, and fully trust HIM, everything is not hard at all, tough yes!! But not tough because I have GOD hehehe
I have an end up question:
Is he experiencing same toughness struggles like me? I hope I can share this to him, but I can’t because I am still hahaha =P but I know, we we're both relying and trusting GOD. Praise GOD.
I have a dream
I have a dream last Aug 22, 2010, I was like in a province,
A guy ask me to swim deep to live.. it was a big body of water like a lake or a river with many trees, when I look at the water I saw a lot of fish, they are so close together, scary if you will see, but this guy told me, I can swim deep to live and to cross under the water to reach the other side, deep is very beautiful no one can imagine because he have swim through it, I woke up.. having the question am I willing?
Before I slept, that night, there was a game, and a question I cannot forget, what have I risked for GOD? I can’t answer, because I never experienced risking anything, now I know I have a calling to share, because last Monday Aug 30, 2010, I was asked to lead a Bible study, there’s a hunger to do it more. So far, I am at this point, i got lots of unbeliever around me. May GOD continue to lead me. Praise HIM. ^_^
A guy ask me to swim deep to live.. it was a big body of water like a lake or a river with many trees, when I look at the water I saw a lot of fish, they are so close together, scary if you will see, but this guy told me, I can swim deep to live and to cross under the water to reach the other side, deep is very beautiful no one can imagine because he have swim through it, I woke up.. having the question am I willing?
Before I slept, that night, there was a game, and a question I cannot forget, what have I risked for GOD? I can’t answer, because I never experienced risking anything, now I know I have a calling to share, because last Monday Aug 30, 2010, I was asked to lead a Bible study, there’s a hunger to do it more. So far, I am at this point, i got lots of unbeliever around me. May GOD continue to lead me. Praise HIM. ^_^
Thursday, July 29, 2010
TRUST
Sometimes we don't understand the plans and ways of the Lord, but I trust the Lord with all my heart and with all my soul... I will not doubt, I will not fear, and I will not be shaken... I saw HIM work... I feel HIM work.. that is why I know HE is at work.. ^_^
i want to quit love, i dont want to hold back.. because everything is confusing and painful...but for I don't know reason GOD didn't want me.. HE wanted me to stay.. oh what a stupid thing to do.. everyone says.. quit.. everyone says you'll get hurt more, I know, I understand, I also wanted to... but I don't know why GOD won't allow me... I have no choice but to follow GOD, even if my future is uncertain and seems to be in full pain... but I just have to TRUST...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y7rc3SU2zlM
i want to quit love, i dont want to hold back.. because everything is confusing and painful...but for I don't know reason GOD didn't want me.. HE wanted me to stay.. oh what a stupid thing to do.. everyone says.. quit.. everyone says you'll get hurt more, I know, I understand, I also wanted to... but I don't know why GOD won't allow me... I have no choice but to follow GOD, even if my future is uncertain and seems to be in full pain... but I just have to TRUST...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y7rc3SU2zlM
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
oh ohh...
my heart is broken . and i don't know what to do.. i have just conquered fear to love.. yet love just broke my heart.. so painful and so true... im blessed to have two good sister friend with me.. who as much as possible not forsake me.. i dont understand why... my heart is in ache and mind is in chaos.. and thank GOD that HE holds it so tight that i feel lesser pain...
oh GOD who never forsake me.. help me.. you lead me here... now im lost... why dont i understand... your ways oh Lord, what specific learning you just want me learn? or what is your only direction for me?? til where and when is your leading here? am I supposed to change my path? or continue on this path... i want to quit oh GOD, but you know my heart.. it only satisfy following you.. you are the boss of my life... you are my leader.. my defender.. my teacher.. my healer.. my protector,..my strength, my provider.. my all and my Father..
i will be still oh Lord, I will wait for your leading.. I will wait for you, for i trust you.. my heart is lost, but i know it can be found in you, it is broken, but i know it will be restored, Oh GOD all mighty... please i beg you.. listen to my affliction, hear my cry oh GOD, hear my plead, you know the deires of my heart, you know my needs, you know whats best for me...you oh GOD are the ruler.. forever you will reign..
help me bring back the joy of my heart, help me bring back the so much love i have... help me bring back life oh GOD... im lost... im broken...
GOD i did love.. i know what is love... and i know how to love... i applied your teaching... i showed my learnings... GOD, YOU are the one who give love.. and i thank you...
in the end.. i dont know.. and all i know... you know...
oh GOD who never forsake me.. help me.. you lead me here... now im lost... why dont i understand... your ways oh Lord, what specific learning you just want me learn? or what is your only direction for me?? til where and when is your leading here? am I supposed to change my path? or continue on this path... i want to quit oh GOD, but you know my heart.. it only satisfy following you.. you are the boss of my life... you are my leader.. my defender.. my teacher.. my healer.. my protector,..my strength, my provider.. my all and my Father..
i will be still oh Lord, I will wait for your leading.. I will wait for you, for i trust you.. my heart is lost, but i know it can be found in you, it is broken, but i know it will be restored, Oh GOD all mighty... please i beg you.. listen to my affliction, hear my cry oh GOD, hear my plead, you know the deires of my heart, you know my needs, you know whats best for me...you oh GOD are the ruler.. forever you will reign..
help me bring back the joy of my heart, help me bring back the so much love i have... help me bring back life oh GOD... im lost... im broken...
GOD i did love.. i know what is love... and i know how to love... i applied your teaching... i showed my learnings... GOD, YOU are the one who give love.. and i thank you...
in the end.. i dont know.. and all i know... you know...
Monday, July 19, 2010
If I could..
If I could just tell you how inlove I am to you
If I could just show you how much I care for you
If I could prove to you how I want to be beside you
I would..
I made a vow with GOD.
Ecclesiastes 5:4
Just give me time.. I will pray.. I will overcome.. and I will come..
By GOD’s grace, but GOD’s mercy, but GOD’s love
I know HE will took away all my fears…
Please wait..
This is my first step… to be alone…
to be with HIM.. so that I could be with you...
just trust ^^,
If I could just show you how much I care for you
If I could prove to you how I want to be beside you
I would..
I made a vow with GOD.
Ecclesiastes 5:4
Just give me time.. I will pray.. I will overcome.. and I will come..
By GOD’s grace, but GOD’s mercy, but GOD’s love
I know HE will took away all my fears…
Please wait..
This is my first step… to be alone…
to be with HIM.. so that I could be with you...
just trust ^^,
Overcoming fear to cross the boundary to love
This may sound stupid and funny, but overcoming fear to cross the boundary to love ain’t easy, I’ve been struggling for almost a year. Right now I still don’t know how to overcome, but I am decided the answer to when, it is now or never. I love this guy, a love that I don’t know how it happen, all I know is that it happen, and all I know is that it came from GOD. I wanted to show this guy my love, but even a friendly talk or how are you I cannot do. I am acting so weird and awkward toward him, so different from other people, I am this super PR type of girl, yet to him, my tongue seems cut. I don’t know.. I want to regret my broken hearts, but I don’t want too because I grow from their. Now I am having difficulty because I am full of fear. Fear of getting hurt. I want to love this person, but I don’t know how. It kills me when I hurt him, but over and over again, that what I am doing. I sometimes thought that it seems better for me to just die than hurt the person I love. I want to be ready, but my fears are eating me, I can’t move, I look stupid, I am so immature. “do not hurt the one you love, it is self defeating..” so true.. everyday, I’ve been praying for this, but I can’t do a thing, I know GOD has been so merciful to me. HE is trying to help me many times. But many times I failed HIM and I hurt him. You know how much it hurts? You know how scary it is? My whole life, I’ve been hurt, yet I grow, I mature, now is the time to love, but I still live in fear, now I’ll be needing this 4 days, to think, to overcome, what I have to overcome, because I want this Friday to be ready. Because I believe I will be ready, If I prepare and ask for GOD’s mercy. GOD is a loving GOD. HE will help me. I know HE will help me.
HER
I have an ex-friend… at first she was okey with me, we enjoy chatting and being together.. that is why I have shared a lot of my life with her.. when one day I see her heart… her heart is stained.. she hope bad things for other people… she wants what she wants, without having 2nd thoughts of how other people feels.. she is a great devil fighter.. im scared of her.. I don’t want to be her friend anymore…
Once in a family camp, we are assigned in the same room, because of my great fear of her attitude, I re-arrange the room assignment because I don’t want to be with her. I have hurt her, but I am only protecting myself, because I saw her heart.
She knew many things about the one guy I love and prayed for, I didn’t expect that she would one day do what I am so afraid of her. To have my love away from me. Right now she hasn’t stolen him yet. But she is in the process. It hurts me to see like that, also it hurts me to see what she is doing to me. She is more aggressive than me, she is more ready, she have a strong heart, and I don’t she knew my fear, and she is taking advantage of it, everything is so hard for me. I want to cry. Always, everyday, morning, afternoon and evening.. I am so afraid of her. She sees me as an enemy. The problem with me is that I am full of fear that is why the devil taking advantage of it. The devil is so wise. He even uses this woman against me. With this problem, GOD is not being glorified.. I am sinning. Because how could I continue to stay and live in fear if I have GOD in me. I am oh so relying on my strength and continue holding back from GOD’s promises… She complicates my life, and I don’t want her win. Oh GOD please continue to help me… I can always feel your works, you saving me repeatedly. . thank YOU
Once in a family camp, we are assigned in the same room, because of my great fear of her attitude, I re-arrange the room assignment because I don’t want to be with her. I have hurt her, but I am only protecting myself, because I saw her heart.
She knew many things about the one guy I love and prayed for, I didn’t expect that she would one day do what I am so afraid of her. To have my love away from me. Right now she hasn’t stolen him yet. But she is in the process. It hurts me to see like that, also it hurts me to see what she is doing to me. She is more aggressive than me, she is more ready, she have a strong heart, and I don’t she knew my fear, and she is taking advantage of it, everything is so hard for me. I want to cry. Always, everyday, morning, afternoon and evening.. I am so afraid of her. She sees me as an enemy. The problem with me is that I am full of fear that is why the devil taking advantage of it. The devil is so wise. He even uses this woman against me. With this problem, GOD is not being glorified.. I am sinning. Because how could I continue to stay and live in fear if I have GOD in me. I am oh so relying on my strength and continue holding back from GOD’s promises… She complicates my life, and I don’t want her win. Oh GOD please continue to help me… I can always feel your works, you saving me repeatedly. . thank YOU
Thursday, July 15, 2010
101 for boys and girls
wrote this during the brownout yesterday, this things been in my thought since July 12, 2010 to July 14, 2010 ^_^
- Know, love, trust and fear GOD
- pray, pray more, pray a lot, pray hard on your knees
- Look around
- beauty fades, character won’t, so don’t go for beauty, you won’t be happy
- learn to see one’s heart
- know who you are
- know your heart
- be stable in decision making
- know that love is given without expectations
- know how to court (girls and boys)
- don’t go to where you see chance, you create them
- get over your past (no excess baggage), let go of fear, let go of doubt and worry (easy say things, hard to do)
- take risk, there’s no insurance for love, but assurance is a no challenge thing
- clear your intention (boys)
- know how to entertain (girls)
- know the right words
- be ready with competence, be confident, don’t lose heart (boys)
- know who to give chance (girls)
- know how and when to ask
- show faithfulness, don’t flirt (boys and girls)
- guard you heart & eyes, man may not see, but GOD can see
- if it’s GOD’s will, it will, never doubt, one will know if HE is at work, GOD’s will is never easy to understand, and definitely hard to follow, but it will always be worth it and fulfilling in the end
- give time and effort, love is giving not investing, while be willing to spend is part, but not a requirement
- action and words, speak and work together
- remember the Filipino saying “kapag may tiyaga may nilaga” in English saying “Patience is a virtue”.. same point anyway haha
- know how to love
- 1 Corinthians 13:1-8, read, understand, follow and apply what is love in the Bible
- learn how to love
- selfishness cannot give love
- pride will get you nowhere
- face consequences, we are subject to it
- blaming is never a thing, don’t blame anyone with your words and actions, its yours not theirs, grow up
- think a lot
- know when to listen
- know when to understand
- be without conditions
- revenge has to have no room, so forgive as much as you do
- it is like math.. full of proving (boys)
- check, analyze, take time and study (girls)
- grow, learn and mature
- know how, when to wait
- never settle for anything less, GOD wants the best for her daughter (girls)
- ask for wisdom, GOD give it to those who listen
- Be ready: prepare to be ready, make sure your ready, and to be ready is to know all of these, because if you are ready, GOD will give you what HE have for you, else it will be wasted
while writing this, got one person on my mind...
if someone feels rejected, maybe he really is not, maybe he just ain't ready.. thats why he commit small mistakes that made him feel rejected.. ^_^
i am still.. still waiting.. waiting.. waiting for this person.. ^_^
GOD provided me wisdom.. and i put all my trust in HIM ^_^
- Know, love, trust and fear GOD
- pray, pray more, pray a lot, pray hard on your knees
- Look around
- beauty fades, character won’t, so don’t go for beauty, you won’t be happy
- learn to see one’s heart
- know who you are
- know your heart
- be stable in decision making
- know that love is given without expectations
- know how to court (girls and boys)
- don’t go to where you see chance, you create them
- get over your past (no excess baggage), let go of fear, let go of doubt and worry (easy say things, hard to do)
- take risk, there’s no insurance for love, but assurance is a no challenge thing
- clear your intention (boys)
- know how to entertain (girls)
- know the right words
- be ready with competence, be confident, don’t lose heart (boys)
- know who to give chance (girls)
- know how and when to ask
- show faithfulness, don’t flirt (boys and girls)
- guard you heart & eyes, man may not see, but GOD can see
- if it’s GOD’s will, it will, never doubt, one will know if HE is at work, GOD’s will is never easy to understand, and definitely hard to follow, but it will always be worth it and fulfilling in the end
- give time and effort, love is giving not investing, while be willing to spend is part, but not a requirement
- action and words, speak and work together
- remember the Filipino saying “kapag may tiyaga may nilaga” in English saying “Patience is a virtue”.. same point anyway haha
- know how to love
- 1 Corinthians 13:1-8, read, understand, follow and apply what is love in the Bible
- learn how to love
- selfishness cannot give love
- pride will get you nowhere
- face consequences, we are subject to it
- blaming is never a thing, don’t blame anyone with your words and actions, its yours not theirs, grow up
- think a lot
- know when to listen
- know when to understand
- be without conditions
- revenge has to have no room, so forgive as much as you do
- it is like math.. full of proving (boys)
- check, analyze, take time and study (girls)
- grow, learn and mature
- know how, when to wait
- never settle for anything less, GOD wants the best for her daughter (girls)
- ask for wisdom, GOD give it to those who listen
- Be ready: prepare to be ready, make sure your ready, and to be ready is to know all of these, because if you are ready, GOD will give you what HE have for you, else it will be wasted
while writing this, got one person on my mind...
if someone feels rejected, maybe he really is not, maybe he just ain't ready.. thats why he commit small mistakes that made him feel rejected.. ^_^
i am still.. still waiting.. waiting.. waiting for this person.. ^_^
GOD provided me wisdom.. and i put all my trust in HIM ^_^
Thursday, July 1, 2010
trusting GOD.. folowing HIS will.. and just have FAITH
GOD is truly mysterious hehehe sometimes HE will make you do things and put you in situations you won't understand...provide you wisdom you dont know where it came from....its really hard to follow HIS will...i did wrestle too,i question what HE is asking me to do..once I asked HIM to stop everything, and change HIS will to me because everything is so complicated and im having a hard time and having a hard feelings...i cried in pain, HE is merciful ah, in an instant HE did.. then HE gave me this cold treatment..."kills me" then what happen next I suffer, when I realize that I really have to follow HIS will, i ask forgiveness and promise that whetever it takes I will follow, He still provide and blessed me in that situation.. and continually HE is still so faithful to me..if sometimes Im in hardship of HIS will.. I would tell HIM that right now I don't understand and Im truly having a hard time, GOD knows one's heart,so HE knew if I am lying or just acting..I would ask HIM that I need some answer then amazingly HE will give..if sometimes i doubt & worry because it really do happen,HE would like whisper and slap this words on my face.. "have I not proven enough,I said wait & trust ME" yes ofcourse what a hard headed individual I can be to GOD, HE just worked and I know, yet I still doubt and worry...so shame on me right?!!! haha ^_^ but come to think of it.. my relationship with GOD is geniune... not all are given this chance to be this close to HIM.. and i think not everyone had the chance to really follow on HIS will.. its amazing how GOD did it.. it amazing how gracious HE can be to me for me to hear HIM, know HIM, understand HIM and follow HIM... you know the bottom line for this relationship is FAITH.. ^_^ Oh well, its a nice nice feeling ... love it.. ^_^
Friday, March 5, 2010
The next time I will love
The next time I will love, I will love someone na pinili ni GOD for me, someone inutos ni GOD na mahalin ko. And whoever he is.. I will accept him for who he is…and if he is really my GOD’s will I know he will accept me for whom iam…
The next time I will love, I will love someone na pinili ni GOD for me, someone inutos ni GOD na mahalin ko. Paano ko malalaman? Maybe.. I have to open my eyes, ears, mind and heart to hear, see, understand and know… ^^, sometimes baka sila pa yung tao we least expect.. baka sila yung opposite natin? Maybe isang way to know is… with this person along the way malalaman natin na madami si GOD gusto ituro satin….malay mo yun will ni GOD sakin nakita ko na siya… but siya hindi pa niya alam na siya yung will ni GOD for me , or maybe alam na din niya hindi ko lang alam na alam na niya hehehe ^^,
The next time I will love, I will love someone na pinili ni GOD for me, someone inutos ni GOD na mahalin ko. Paano ko malalaman? Maybe.. I have to open my eyes, ears, mind and heart to hear, see, understand and know… ^^, sometimes baka sila pa yung tao we least expect.. baka sila yung opposite natin? Maybe isang way to know is… with this person along the way malalaman natin na madami si GOD gusto ituro satin….malay mo yun will ni GOD sakin nakita ko na siya… but siya hindi pa niya alam na siya yung will ni GOD for me , or maybe alam na din niya hindi ko lang alam na alam na niya hehehe ^^,
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Psalm 31
Psalm 31
For the director of music. A psalm of David.
1 In you, O LORD, I have taken refuge;
let me never be put to shame;
deliver me in your righteousness.
2 Turn your ear to me,
come quickly to my rescue;
be my rock of refuge,
a strong fortress to save me.
3 Since you are my rock and my fortress,
for the sake of your name lead and guide me.
4 Free me from the trap that is set for me,
for you are my refuge.
5 Into your hands I commit my spirit;
redeem me, O LORD, the God of truth.
6 I hate those who cling to worthless idols;
I trust in the LORD.
7 I will be glad and rejoice in your love,
for you saw my affliction
and knew the anguish of my soul.
8 You have not handed me over to the enemy
but have set my feet in a spacious place.
9 Be merciful to me, O LORD, for I am in distress;
my eyes grow weak with sorrow,
my soul and my body with grief.
10 My life is consumed by anguish
and my years by groaning;
my strength fails because of my affliction,
and my bones grow weak.
11 Because of all my enemies,
I am the utter contempt of my neighbors;
I am a dread to my friends—
those who see me on the street flee from me.
12 I am forgotten by them as though I were dead;
I have become like broken pottery.
13 For I hear the slander of many;
there is terror on every side;
they conspire against me
and plot to take my life.
14 But I trust in you, O LORD;
I say, "You are my God."
15 My times are in your hands;
deliver me from my enemies
and from those who pursue me.
16 Let your face shine on your servant;
save me in your unfailing love.
17 Let me not be put to shame, O LORD,
for I have cried out to you;
but let the wicked be put to shame
and lie silent in the grave.
18 Let their lying lips be silenced,
for with pride and contempt
they speak arrogantly against the righteous.
19 How great is your goodness,
which you have stored up for those who fear you,
which you bestow in the sight of men
on those who take refuge in you.
20 In the shelter of your presence you hide them
from the intrigues of men;
in your dwelling you keep them safe
from accusing tongues.
21 Praise be to the LORD,
for he showed his wonderful love to me
when I was in a besieged city.
22 In my alarm I said,
"I am cut off from your sight!"
Yet you heard my cry for mercy
when I called to you for help.
23 Love the LORD, all his saints!
The LORD preserves the faithful,
but the proud he pays back in full.
24 Be strong and take heart,
all you who hope in the LORD.
--> amen to this ^_^
Have u ever felt the feeling when you’re reading the Bible (e.g. Psalm 31) that you feel like floating, so full of joy and peace and suddenly for no reason you’re trembling shaking crying and tears flowing? because you felt that you don’t deserve these, but GOD just rewarded you a moment of this and lets you feel the feeling because you trust HIM so much that you put you’re hope in HIM…even the future is unseen… ^_^ and you don’t know how thank HIM for how amazing HE is… ^_^
For the director of music. A psalm of David.
1 In you, O LORD, I have taken refuge;
let me never be put to shame;
deliver me in your righteousness.
2 Turn your ear to me,
come quickly to my rescue;
be my rock of refuge,
a strong fortress to save me.
3 Since you are my rock and my fortress,
for the sake of your name lead and guide me.
4 Free me from the trap that is set for me,
for you are my refuge.
5 Into your hands I commit my spirit;
redeem me, O LORD, the God of truth.
6 I hate those who cling to worthless idols;
I trust in the LORD.
7 I will be glad and rejoice in your love,
for you saw my affliction
and knew the anguish of my soul.
8 You have not handed me over to the enemy
but have set my feet in a spacious place.
9 Be merciful to me, O LORD, for I am in distress;
my eyes grow weak with sorrow,
my soul and my body with grief.
10 My life is consumed by anguish
and my years by groaning;
my strength fails because of my affliction,
and my bones grow weak.
11 Because of all my enemies,
I am the utter contempt of my neighbors;
I am a dread to my friends—
those who see me on the street flee from me.
12 I am forgotten by them as though I were dead;
I have become like broken pottery.
13 For I hear the slander of many;
there is terror on every side;
they conspire against me
and plot to take my life.
14 But I trust in you, O LORD;
I say, "You are my God."
15 My times are in your hands;
deliver me from my enemies
and from those who pursue me.
16 Let your face shine on your servant;
save me in your unfailing love.
17 Let me not be put to shame, O LORD,
for I have cried out to you;
but let the wicked be put to shame
and lie silent in the grave.
18 Let their lying lips be silenced,
for with pride and contempt
they speak arrogantly against the righteous.
19 How great is your goodness,
which you have stored up for those who fear you,
which you bestow in the sight of men
on those who take refuge in you.
20 In the shelter of your presence you hide them
from the intrigues of men;
in your dwelling you keep them safe
from accusing tongues.
21 Praise be to the LORD,
for he showed his wonderful love to me
when I was in a besieged city.
22 In my alarm I said,
"I am cut off from your sight!"
Yet you heard my cry for mercy
when I called to you for help.
23 Love the LORD, all his saints!
The LORD preserves the faithful,
but the proud he pays back in full.
24 Be strong and take heart,
all you who hope in the LORD.
--> amen to this ^_^
Have u ever felt the feeling when you’re reading the Bible (e.g. Psalm 31) that you feel like floating, so full of joy and peace and suddenly for no reason you’re trembling shaking crying and tears flowing? because you felt that you don’t deserve these, but GOD just rewarded you a moment of this and lets you feel the feeling because you trust HIM so much that you put you’re hope in HIM…even the future is unseen… ^_^ and you don’t know how thank HIM for how amazing HE is… ^_^
Monday, January 18, 2010
What to do until LOVE finds you – Michelle Mckinley Hammond poem # 3
I have watched
and waited
for my knight
to come riding over the hill
of my desires…
watching…
waiting…
to see him
dressed in white
upon a horse
big and strong
as his shoulders
where I will lay my head
as he carries me away
to the promised land
of dreams come true
and joy eternal…
watching…
waiting
peering from the window
of my fortress
my rock
my strong tower
with my heart in GOD’s hands
left there for safe keeping
I peek expectantly
Over my Father’s shoulder
Every now and then
Settling my back into the warmth of HIS lap
I watch…
I wait…
Trusting that my expectation
Will arrive
Beautifully
Resplendent
Covered in the dew
That falls from heaven
Being all that I hoped for
Better than I dreamed
Loving me
The way I want to be loved
Freely
Unconditionally
Adoring me
As if I were
The best thing since sliced bread…
You know
That when-a-man-loves-a-woman
How-Christ-loves-the-church kinda love
Too high
Too deep
For me to truly comprehend
But it sures sounds good to me…
So I watch
And I wait
Sometimes feeling like Rapunzel
Sometimes feeling like Sleeping Beauty…
Waiting…
Waiting
Sometimes conscious
Sometimes not
Hope keeping the light shining
Like a beacon in my eyes
Beckoning my knight
Should he lose his way
But for now
I lay content in the arms of my Saviour
Letting HIM rock me
And love me
Like no other lover can…
And I learn of love
Of life
And giving…
And I wait…
Cleared-eyed
With no misguided expectations
No desperate desires
No distorted views
Binding me
Marring my judgement
I am free
To say yes
To say no
According to the King’s leading
In spite of my flesh
Or my heart
Only a GOD-appointed knight
Will I receive
No matter how long the wait
I will wait…
I will wait for HIM…
I will wait for him
Who is willed by HIM…
and waited
for my knight
to come riding over the hill
of my desires…
watching…
waiting…
to see him
dressed in white
upon a horse
big and strong
as his shoulders
where I will lay my head
as he carries me away
to the promised land
of dreams come true
and joy eternal…
watching…
waiting
peering from the window
of my fortress
my rock
my strong tower
with my heart in GOD’s hands
left there for safe keeping
I peek expectantly
Over my Father’s shoulder
Every now and then
Settling my back into the warmth of HIS lap
I watch…
I wait…
Trusting that my expectation
Will arrive
Beautifully
Resplendent
Covered in the dew
That falls from heaven
Being all that I hoped for
Better than I dreamed
Loving me
The way I want to be loved
Freely
Unconditionally
Adoring me
As if I were
The best thing since sliced bread…
You know
That when-a-man-loves-a-woman
How-Christ-loves-the-church kinda love
Too high
Too deep
For me to truly comprehend
But it sures sounds good to me…
So I watch
And I wait
Sometimes feeling like Rapunzel
Sometimes feeling like Sleeping Beauty…
Waiting…
Waiting
Sometimes conscious
Sometimes not
Hope keeping the light shining
Like a beacon in my eyes
Beckoning my knight
Should he lose his way
But for now
I lay content in the arms of my Saviour
Letting HIM rock me
And love me
Like no other lover can…
And I learn of love
Of life
And giving…
And I wait…
Cleared-eyed
With no misguided expectations
No desperate desires
No distorted views
Binding me
Marring my judgement
I am free
To say yes
To say no
According to the King’s leading
In spite of my flesh
Or my heart
Only a GOD-appointed knight
Will I receive
No matter how long the wait
I will wait…
I will wait for HIM…
I will wait for him
Who is willed by HIM…
What to do until LOVE finds you – Michelle Mckinley Hammond poem # 2
I am free
Free to love as never before
Throwing open
Windows and doors
Rejoicing in my wholeness
I see clearly
As I run with purpose
Choosing the right road
No longer stumbling
Over my own neediness
I move
Even paced
Head high
Shoulders back
Heart firmly in place
Making choices with my head
Ignoring the demands of the flesh
I stretch my spirit
And respond to GOD’s voice
Running eagerly
Toward HIS instruction
Caught up in HIS potent promises
I am bound to HIM
A willing love slave
Yet freer than I’ve even been
Finding the lost pieces of myself
I foolishly gave to others
Casting pearls before the swine
Once weeping
Over the trampled pieces of my heart
I am now restored to give again
To one more deserving
I discover I am
Lost in Him
Only to be found in the truth
Stronger than ever
Ready to love better
Because now I have more to give
And I will give
Carefully
Abundantly
And only at His leading
And in that understanding
I rest
I fly
I am free!
Free to love as never before
Throwing open
Windows and doors
Rejoicing in my wholeness
I see clearly
As I run with purpose
Choosing the right road
No longer stumbling
Over my own neediness
I move
Even paced
Head high
Shoulders back
Heart firmly in place
Making choices with my head
Ignoring the demands of the flesh
I stretch my spirit
And respond to GOD’s voice
Running eagerly
Toward HIS instruction
Caught up in HIS potent promises
I am bound to HIM
A willing love slave
Yet freer than I’ve even been
Finding the lost pieces of myself
I foolishly gave to others
Casting pearls before the swine
Once weeping
Over the trampled pieces of my heart
I am now restored to give again
To one more deserving
I discover I am
Lost in Him
Only to be found in the truth
Stronger than ever
Ready to love better
Because now I have more to give
And I will give
Carefully
Abundantly
And only at His leading
And in that understanding
I rest
I fly
I am free!
What to do until LOVE finds you – Michelle Mckinley Hammond poem # 1
I want a man
Not just any man
I want GOD’s man
Hand picked
Kingdom appointed
For such a woman as this
I’m looking for a love
Not just any love
I want the GOD kind of love
Filing a heart that beats
To the kingdom’s rhythm
Unadulterated
Holy Ghost saturated
The kinda love that
Can’t be rated
Poured out
Runnin’ ovah
Like water in a glass
Already full of good things
Smooth as a silk
Yet tough as rope
Wrapping around my soul
Keepin’ it all together
Forever
With room enough for me
To be
A woman
Not just any woman
GOD’s woman
Whole and free
To love you
The way I want you to love me
With a love
Not just any love
But the GOD kind of love
Rich as a sinful dessert
Pure as tried gold
The kind of love that can hold
Onto your hand
And GOD’s at the very same time
Delivered from all other ties that bind
And yes
I’m free enough to wait…
For a man
Not just any man
But the man
Who understands
And knows what love means
And lives what GOD says…
And wants what I want
A real love
A strong love
A tall love
Agape love.
GOD’s love.
Not just any man
I want GOD’s man
Hand picked
Kingdom appointed
For such a woman as this
I’m looking for a love
Not just any love
I want the GOD kind of love
Filing a heart that beats
To the kingdom’s rhythm
Unadulterated
Holy Ghost saturated
The kinda love that
Can’t be rated
Poured out
Runnin’ ovah
Like water in a glass
Already full of good things
Smooth as a silk
Yet tough as rope
Wrapping around my soul
Keepin’ it all together
Forever
With room enough for me
To be
A woman
Not just any woman
GOD’s woman
Whole and free
To love you
The way I want you to love me
With a love
Not just any love
But the GOD kind of love
Rich as a sinful dessert
Pure as tried gold
The kind of love that can hold
Onto your hand
And GOD’s at the very same time
Delivered from all other ties that bind
And yes
I’m free enough to wait…
For a man
Not just any man
But the man
Who understands
And knows what love means
And lives what GOD says…
And wants what I want
A real love
A strong love
A tall love
Agape love.
GOD’s love.
Thursday, December 31, 2009
Team Baguio Mission
Our team Baguio story, what an eye-opener and life experience..
We leave UECM December 20, 2009 around 11am then we arrived Baguio around 5pm, the group then packed the gifts for the kids and we contacted UECM workers to had our sack of donated jogging pants be delivered to us in Baguio soon haha
We then had our dinner with Pastor Demi Mier together with his wife.
Then the team had our 1st devotion with Dra. Jean. In their room, I notice a lot of food. ^_^
Mission day Day1: (Monday)
We wake up early on the 1st day of our trip, we have schedule in Ambiong, where we need to climb a mountain for 10-15 minutes to reach the day care center, where we will going to do our program with the muslim kids.. the road beside the hill is not so good but neither bad, it is about 1.5 to 2meters in width… when we reach the place, we can see that the kids belongs to the poor class… the kids enjoyed our team presentation, they also enjoyed the giveaways and prices, I can say that with these group of kids, the team 1st felt success in Christ name… one of the kids their sang the song “Who I am” by Casting Crowns, he sang it very well, he even memorized the whole song, my heart felt joy, for we can see GOD works with some of the kids there and that is the 1st time I felt how GOD works with the muslin kids.
In the afternoon around 2 to 3pm we went to SM to buy gifts for the sudden notice of exchange gift given to us by Pastor. That we’re going to have the evening in fellowship with some of the missionaries in Baguio and to some active volunteers at SNN. So by 330pm we arrive at SNN, 1st Pastor Demi Mier educate us about Muslim more and taught us how to befriend and evangelize them. We also had a question and answer set up with other volunteers and missionaries regarding Muslim. We spent the afternoon and evening in fellowship with them.
When we got back our base in Baguio ahia Jonathan lead in our devotional group meeting.
Mission day Day 2: (Tuesday)
On our 2nd day with our mission, we went to the Bry Irisan Cypress Village, the travel is not difficult, we don’t have to climb any mountain…there they also have their kinda day care center, but it is kinda small for the group so we had the lower garden to perform and to accommodate all the kids. Same class of kids, we again had our programs, giving of gifts which again the kids and parents enjoyed. In each and every programs and activity we had for them, we assure that we made them feel the spirit of Christmas and explain/share why/who do we celebrate it, for GOD’s glory.
In the afternoon the most unforgettable moment and learning I/we had, is our time/fellowship spent with Imam, or the Muslim priest at their Mosque. The group learned a lot about Muslim, if before we had this negative connotation about them, now I personally don’t, and I think same with my team mates. Instead I feel pity for them because they are near to the truth but the enemy have twisted the truth in them, like Imam, he knows the Bible very well, yet the Holy Spirit is not working in HIM, my heart is also feel wounded when he didn’t acknowledge Jesus Christ as saviour, I even ask him who would save you? He is really good in answering and twisting words. I can say that a person with a weak spiritual life and who are not very familiar with the words in the Bible would be converted to Islam hehe ^_^ the experience inside the Mosque, being with these Muslim is a treasure. If there is one thing I realize and learned about Muslim and then applied it in my life is their reason for fasting, well I don’t really agree with fasting per say, I didn’t also says that I am into their faith, because me personally I don’t believe with Mohammad, I asked Imam about fasting, then He explained it, I’ll just summarized it to this: It is their way to know how to control themselves in all the temptation of this world, including food, sexual practices and etc.. It’s for them to be holy. Then my glutton sin came to my senses. Which is I also know a long time ago, how I love eating and I always over eat myself. Also a realization that I am not glorifying GOD with my act, because sometimes when I am in my moment enjoying my eating, I am forgetting that it is from my Creator, I just get to indulge with it and enjoy its deliciousness and the satisfaction it is giving me. I fell so guilty I prayed and asked for forgiveness, and thank GOD. Since that day I kinda loose my big appetite and gluttony attitude. And I will continue to pray for it that in everything I do, eat or drink, it should be in the glory of GOD. (1Cor 10:31)
In the evening we had this prayer walk, where we will walk along Baguio, name the place, hehe well we divided ourselves into 3 groups and try to socialize with the Muslim we will meet along the way. So our group had the chance to talk with a Muslim silver jewelry vendor, I myself bought a cross earing as bridge of conversation. We ask questions and there is this one conversation that until now runs my mind. I said to the vendor, buti even Muslim kayo nag bebenta kayo ng cross… she answered me, binebenta lang yan..hindi sinasamba… so the thought came to me that this person mind is closed… she have her faith and I just prayed for her that someday she will come to know the truth.
Then we again got back in our base, there ahia Elliott shared something about worry in our devotion group.
Mission day Day 3: (Wednesday)
This 3rd day was the most tiring day of all, we again proceeded with our mission, in the morning we went to Crystal Cave outreach, same thing happen, we perform, gift giving and made them feel Christmas and its meaning, but here they have prepared a special performance for us, they also sang Christmas hymms and Christian song for us, which lightens our hearts. This group is supported by DECS, and here my heart was really touched, because I can really see how the teachers touched their students heart, they don’t just teach, they love and care, they are really after for the kids/teens welfare and studies. How I love this group. And here I keep on thanking GOD, thanking HIM over and over of how amazing HE is. HE is the best indeed. These group of kids even gave us creative cards, that we hope to show and share to UECM people if given the chance. They just gave me the color that really fits me pink and red with floral attached to it hehe how I love it. ^_^
In the afternoon we went to Pastor Demi Mier church in Bibak Bible Church, still in the process of construction, not yet fully-constructed, there we we’re able to interact with lots of little kids. Same activities happened. This is our last schedule so we consumed all the prices with the kids. I am surprise how Pastor did the clothes giving, he made a bazaar for the kids, all the clothes are aligned on the floor then the kids also are lined up. They will fit the clothes they choose/like and when it fits, it’s theirs hehe ^_^ ow how cute the scene hehe Here I felt a feeling of great thankfulness to our GOD, how HE works with Pastor Mier and his family. Hope we include them and their missions in our prayers so that they may continue to bring glory to GOD, and may they able to save more Muslim lives that are born with twisted faith.
We still got an hour to relax, some of us went to the market and buy some goodies, and some went to Burnham Park. After, we had our dinner with Pastor Demi Mier and his family together with achi Grace Co (Dra. Jean cousin), who also helped us/assist us with our stay in Baguio.
When we got back in our base, Mars did the sharing through prayer.
Departure day:
We left PBTS around 8am, we got 2 hours to travel around Baguio before our departure time, so we consume it with this time breakdown 30-40 minutes travel to Camp John Hay, 30-40 minutes stay there, we then went to Manor Hotel stayed there for 30-40minutes. After we are on the way home to Manila, then arrive Manila around 430pm safe and sound, with glad hearts and the take home experience. With full of Joy and thanksgiving for our GOD the Father, who made all things possible.
We leave UECM December 20, 2009 around 11am then we arrived Baguio around 5pm, the group then packed the gifts for the kids and we contacted UECM workers to had our sack of donated jogging pants be delivered to us in Baguio soon haha
We then had our dinner with Pastor Demi Mier together with his wife.
Then the team had our 1st devotion with Dra. Jean. In their room, I notice a lot of food. ^_^
Mission day Day1: (Monday)
We wake up early on the 1st day of our trip, we have schedule in Ambiong, where we need to climb a mountain for 10-15 minutes to reach the day care center, where we will going to do our program with the muslim kids.. the road beside the hill is not so good but neither bad, it is about 1.5 to 2meters in width… when we reach the place, we can see that the kids belongs to the poor class… the kids enjoyed our team presentation, they also enjoyed the giveaways and prices, I can say that with these group of kids, the team 1st felt success in Christ name… one of the kids their sang the song “Who I am” by Casting Crowns, he sang it very well, he even memorized the whole song, my heart felt joy, for we can see GOD works with some of the kids there and that is the 1st time I felt how GOD works with the muslin kids.
In the afternoon around 2 to 3pm we went to SM to buy gifts for the sudden notice of exchange gift given to us by Pastor. That we’re going to have the evening in fellowship with some of the missionaries in Baguio and to some active volunteers at SNN. So by 330pm we arrive at SNN, 1st Pastor Demi Mier educate us about Muslim more and taught us how to befriend and evangelize them. We also had a question and answer set up with other volunteers and missionaries regarding Muslim. We spent the afternoon and evening in fellowship with them.
When we got back our base in Baguio ahia Jonathan lead in our devotional group meeting.
Mission day Day 2: (Tuesday)
On our 2nd day with our mission, we went to the Bry Irisan Cypress Village, the travel is not difficult, we don’t have to climb any mountain…there they also have their kinda day care center, but it is kinda small for the group so we had the lower garden to perform and to accommodate all the kids. Same class of kids, we again had our programs, giving of gifts which again the kids and parents enjoyed. In each and every programs and activity we had for them, we assure that we made them feel the spirit of Christmas and explain/share why/who do we celebrate it, for GOD’s glory.
In the afternoon the most unforgettable moment and learning I/we had, is our time/fellowship spent with Imam, or the Muslim priest at their Mosque. The group learned a lot about Muslim, if before we had this negative connotation about them, now I personally don’t, and I think same with my team mates. Instead I feel pity for them because they are near to the truth but the enemy have twisted the truth in them, like Imam, he knows the Bible very well, yet the Holy Spirit is not working in HIM, my heart is also feel wounded when he didn’t acknowledge Jesus Christ as saviour, I even ask him who would save you? He is really good in answering and twisting words. I can say that a person with a weak spiritual life and who are not very familiar with the words in the Bible would be converted to Islam hehe ^_^ the experience inside the Mosque, being with these Muslim is a treasure. If there is one thing I realize and learned about Muslim and then applied it in my life is their reason for fasting, well I don’t really agree with fasting per say, I didn’t also says that I am into their faith, because me personally I don’t believe with Mohammad, I asked Imam about fasting, then He explained it, I’ll just summarized it to this: It is their way to know how to control themselves in all the temptation of this world, including food, sexual practices and etc.. It’s for them to be holy. Then my glutton sin came to my senses. Which is I also know a long time ago, how I love eating and I always over eat myself. Also a realization that I am not glorifying GOD with my act, because sometimes when I am in my moment enjoying my eating, I am forgetting that it is from my Creator, I just get to indulge with it and enjoy its deliciousness and the satisfaction it is giving me. I fell so guilty I prayed and asked for forgiveness, and thank GOD. Since that day I kinda loose my big appetite and gluttony attitude. And I will continue to pray for it that in everything I do, eat or drink, it should be in the glory of GOD. (1Cor 10:31)
In the evening we had this prayer walk, where we will walk along Baguio, name the place, hehe well we divided ourselves into 3 groups and try to socialize with the Muslim we will meet along the way. So our group had the chance to talk with a Muslim silver jewelry vendor, I myself bought a cross earing as bridge of conversation. We ask questions and there is this one conversation that until now runs my mind. I said to the vendor, buti even Muslim kayo nag bebenta kayo ng cross… she answered me, binebenta lang yan..hindi sinasamba… so the thought came to me that this person mind is closed… she have her faith and I just prayed for her that someday she will come to know the truth.
Then we again got back in our base, there ahia Elliott shared something about worry in our devotion group.
Mission day Day 3: (Wednesday)
This 3rd day was the most tiring day of all, we again proceeded with our mission, in the morning we went to Crystal Cave outreach, same thing happen, we perform, gift giving and made them feel Christmas and its meaning, but here they have prepared a special performance for us, they also sang Christmas hymms and Christian song for us, which lightens our hearts. This group is supported by DECS, and here my heart was really touched, because I can really see how the teachers touched their students heart, they don’t just teach, they love and care, they are really after for the kids/teens welfare and studies. How I love this group. And here I keep on thanking GOD, thanking HIM over and over of how amazing HE is. HE is the best indeed. These group of kids even gave us creative cards, that we hope to show and share to UECM people if given the chance. They just gave me the color that really fits me pink and red with floral attached to it hehe how I love it. ^_^
In the afternoon we went to Pastor Demi Mier church in Bibak Bible Church, still in the process of construction, not yet fully-constructed, there we we’re able to interact with lots of little kids. Same activities happened. This is our last schedule so we consumed all the prices with the kids. I am surprise how Pastor did the clothes giving, he made a bazaar for the kids, all the clothes are aligned on the floor then the kids also are lined up. They will fit the clothes they choose/like and when it fits, it’s theirs hehe ^_^ ow how cute the scene hehe Here I felt a feeling of great thankfulness to our GOD, how HE works with Pastor Mier and his family. Hope we include them and their missions in our prayers so that they may continue to bring glory to GOD, and may they able to save more Muslim lives that are born with twisted faith.
We still got an hour to relax, some of us went to the market and buy some goodies, and some went to Burnham Park. After, we had our dinner with Pastor Demi Mier and his family together with achi Grace Co (Dra. Jean cousin), who also helped us/assist us with our stay in Baguio.
When we got back in our base, Mars did the sharing through prayer.
Departure day:
We left PBTS around 8am, we got 2 hours to travel around Baguio before our departure time, so we consume it with this time breakdown 30-40 minutes travel to Camp John Hay, 30-40 minutes stay there, we then went to Manor Hotel stayed there for 30-40minutes. After we are on the way home to Manila, then arrive Manila around 430pm safe and sound, with glad hearts and the take home experience. With full of Joy and thanksgiving for our GOD the Father, who made all things possible.
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
for 2 weeks, ive been thinking of this... what if GOD is infront of me..what will I do??
hmmm... as in totoo si GOD sa harap ko ah physically or spriritually pag sa Heaven ko siya nakita... I think i won't look at HIM straight in the eyes... hindi ko kaya.. Im such a great sinner, HE knows me very well...wala me "K" to look at HIM..Iam not worthy...shame on me...who am I to see GOD's face..unless HE permits me too... ^_^ Iam only MJ Lee..no power, no authority, Iam not the creator of any..Iam just a creation...^_^I will bow down..super down.. as in if pwede i-flat sarili ko sa ground.. I will...because Im such a slave,Iam only HIS servant... If ever HE will stepped on me.. its okey.. for Iam nothing without HIM...so totally I will humble down myself...I will cry..mahihiya ako kay GOD... because I will feel so guilty... of so many many things... cry for forgiveness...HE knows all my sin, my life diba? as in... I will also cry to begged.. and cry to plead...para ma-forgive niya...I will serve HIM to the highest degree with all my heart and joy... as in... HE is my BIG BOSS.. the ONE and only...I will kiss HIS feet..It'll be an honor if I can do that...I will do all the things HE wants me to do.....
i think i cant face GOD if Iam not saved hehehe since Iam so I can... heheheand remember we are HIS children, we are not angels... ^_^
i don't want to boast about anything.. because all i want is to totally humble myself infront of GOD... here.. and there ^_^
my Faith for GOD is more of LOVE... HIS love for me and my love for HIM.. how I love to serve HIM ang everything for HIM, and humble myself for HIM... my faith is not because of rewards.. for me these rewards are bonus.. bonus.. bonus... thanks ^_^
~ December 01, 2009
i think i cant face GOD if Iam not saved hehehe since Iam so I can... heheheand remember we are HIS children, we are not angels... ^_^
i don't want to boast about anything.. because all i want is to totally humble myself infront of GOD... here.. and there ^_^
my Faith for GOD is more of LOVE... HIS love for me and my love for HIM.. how I love to serve HIM ang everything for HIM, and humble myself for HIM... my faith is not because of rewards.. for me these rewards are bonus.. bonus.. bonus... thanks ^_^
~ December 01, 2009
GOD is such a great GOD indeed.. I couldn't as for more ^_^
James 4;7-10 Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Come near to God and he will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. Grieve, mourn and wail. Change your laughter to mourning and your joy to gloom. Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up. ^_^
this verse is so apply to me.... yesterday, last night tears went down my eyes, my heart is full of worry and fears, I seek the LORD, and HE seems mad at me because I failed to trust HIM on these thing, when I have always put all things/my life in HIS hand.. these thing is my struggle for a long time, but you know what? even if GOD is mad at me ... and didnt talked to me that long, because HE is offended by me, HE took the worry and fears away, and gave me peace, a peaceful heart, He gave me rest, then after HE gave me an earthly friend... ^_^ HE is so amazing and great indeed, my heart is overjoyed... ^_^ Praise the LORD... HE is loving indeed ^_^ I couldn't as for more ^_^
this verse is so apply to me.... yesterday, last night tears went down my eyes, my heart is full of worry and fears, I seek the LORD, and HE seems mad at me because I failed to trust HIM on these thing, when I have always put all things/my life in HIS hand.. these thing is my struggle for a long time, but you know what? even if GOD is mad at me ... and didnt talked to me that long, because HE is offended by me, HE took the worry and fears away, and gave me peace, a peaceful heart, He gave me rest, then after HE gave me an earthly friend... ^_^ HE is so amazing and great indeed, my heart is overjoyed... ^_^ Praise the LORD... HE is loving indeed ^_^ I couldn't as for more ^_^
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
for 2 weeks, ive been thinking of this... what if GOD is infront of me..what will I do??
hmmm... as in totoo si GOD sa harap ko ah physically or spriritually pag sa Heaven ko siya nakita... I think I won't look at HIM straight in the eyes... hindi ko kaya.. Im such a great sinner, HE knows me very well...wala me "K" to look at HIM..Iam not worthy...shame on me...who am I to see GOD's face..unless HE permits me too... ^_^ Iam only MJ Lee..no power, no authority, Iam not the creator of any..Iam just a creation...^_^I will bow down..super down.. as in if pwede i-flat sarili ko sa ground.. I will...because Im such a slave,Iam only HIS servant... If ever HE will stepped on me.. its okey.. for Iam nothing without HIM...so totally I will humble down myself...I will cry..mahihiya ako kay GOD... because I will feel so guilty... of so many many things... cry for forgiveness...HE knows all my sin, my life diba? as in... I will also cry to begged.. and cry to plead...para ma-forgive niya...I will serve HIM to the highest degree with all my heart and joy... as in... HE is my BIG BOSS.. the ONE and only...I will kiss HIS feet..It'll be an honor if I can do that...I will do all the things HE wants me to do...... my life? I don't need my life... all I need is HIM...Im sure there are lots of amazing things not a human mind can imagine... with GOD, about GOD and in Heaven...wala lang napa isip lang ako...may nalimot pa ba ako?? hmmmm ^_^ kaw naisip mo na din ba??
Sunday, November 29, 2009
In my dream he attacks again, he wants mom, but I know he just wants to shaken my Faith
I dreamt this between 2am to 359am....
I was in a very big house, It was old, and have lots of rooms inside…
There is this one room that seems to be special that I never tried to enter…
In my dreams mama seems to always talk with someone I can’t see, and she always insist na andun daw… she always says “sabi niya (ganun ganyan).. kaya kelangan ko….” So in my dreams I was confused who she talks too… there, Im trying to understand her…more and more…
A group of young people went to our house… they are friends of my shobe daw… they point to the mysterious room, they said there’s something evil inside…they want to explore it but they didn’t went inside… (just a typical teenager’s kakulitan)
After I went to a certain room.. there some teenagers,they are having a Bible study, so I find them doing a good thing so I didn’t bother to disturb them….
In my dream it was every night that my mom used to go out daw.. went somewhere and end up to that room inside the big old house.. kinda magulo but ganun…after she would always request everyone or anyone to just simply leave her there so inshort mag papa hatid lang siya, she was inlove with the guy inside the room that she usually talks to..she follows all his words… all…(she was possessed in a way)
I requested mama to introduce to me who is tha , but she said that he doesn’t want… so I insisted, but nothing happen
Mama in my dream would usually enter the room and ask grand ma (na usually nag hahatid daw sakanya sa room na yun) to leave her… and after the next day she would simply go back home or you will just see her lying asleep in the sala, knowing nothing, empty minded from what happen the last night, and in my dream it repeatedly happening everyday…
One time, I walked mama to the room, as I said it’s a long way to there, we even need to go out of the house to arrive to the room, but the room was just inside the house where we stay and that is also the house that we use to leave (basta dun din kami umaalis )… ako nag hatid kay mama kase I got curious sana nangyayari sakanya daw and start to mag duda…kase my mom is always empty minded…
There napatunayan ko it is the devils work… he wants mom… I never get the chance to enter the room.. also I don’t want… and he don't allow me to enter...
After, in my dream I start to think of how would I, could I save mama, and stop these things… I start thinking whether to say this to Boksu Reyes or not… then, I interviewed my grand ma about my mom.. along the way I saw Boksu, so I went to him and start to tell him everything… he believed me after proving it with himself…
I can’t remember all.. but all I can remember now is that Boksu asked me to pray… pray and pray…
Also in my dream I told Boksu that GOD answered my prayer very fast kase I was just thinking of telling him when I saw him, just in time…I said..
Then one night, again, my mom is again on her way to that room, I grabbed her and hugged her, and told the one inside that room that he can never have my mom.. I make bitbit my mom… (you know sa dream anything is possible hahaha)
The guy voice… in my dreams he sounded as someone familiar, naririnig ko siya but I never really got to understand what he says… recalling it now ah… he seems to be always talking lang…
Anyway, syempre he got mad, he have this powerful voice daw, he controls my mom daw, when you see my mom’s eyes turn green/ blue, that I can’t sure, she is being controlled daw… but my mom can’t do nothing because Iam grabbing her, there is Boksu too..walking with me while bitbit ko si mama, we we’re four actually kasama din namin si grand ma…
Then there is this force na humihila kay mama.. si grand ma she was also possessed, her eyes turns green / blue bay un… also Boksu is possessed…they are possessed to get my mom from me and returned it to him…so that time I went to a room na may table I hugged my mom… and prayed..and remembered how Boksu taught me to pray in situation like this..I prayed like this…
GOD, the Father of Abraham, the creator of Adam and Eve, the Father of Moses… the Father of Noah… I ask for YOU’re help, I love YOU GOD, and I love my mother and ayaw ko siya ibigay sakanya… pls save me and my mom…
Then nawala daw yung evil force na humihila kay mama from me… bigla daw dumating si Boksu and my grand ma.. they are normal again.. then I tell Boksu what happened and what I did and said in prayers and praise GOD… kase diba he is not aware na kase he was also possessed….
Then after I can feel the evil force is so angry and coming towards us, towards me.. in my dreams... I can feel he is becoming near.. by the force and the voice… so I hurriedly ask Boksu what to do.. kase we are aware na human lang din si Boksu and can be possessed again for I don’t know reason and why ako, Iam not possessed??
So that time, me and Boksu prayed together while I was standing na hugging my mom… I prayed like this…
GOD, the Father of Abraham, the creator of Adam and Eve, the Father of Moses… the Father of Noah… I ask for YOU’re help, I love YOU GOD, and I love my mother.. please help me.. You do not forsake… Iam YOU’re child.. and so as my mom…she is YOU’re child too…
Then there is silent… that time my eyes are close and and Iam not hearing Boksu voice na.. so in my dreams I thought that he might also again possessed… I was standing relying on GOD while hugging my mom…where I felt he is near.. so near… 1meter away from me.. then after closer.. then he whisper me something… which I can’t remember… In my dreams I planned to open my eyes.. in my heart I prayed to GOD to prepare what sight I will see when I open my eyes… so Im praying to ready myself not to be frightened to see satan face to face…not to feel fear seeing him because I have GOD in me…
When I open my eyes…
Then gsing na ako..reality na… upon waking up, It feels and seems so real, so real, na yung time that he whisper to me.. parang sa actual niya ginawa yun sa dream.. gets? well…after I thank GOD for not forsaking me again and again im my dreams, that HE is so powerful and loving to protect me even in my dreams, whenevver I call HIS name…
.. Satan always enters my dreams.... dun lang niya ako kaya attack...
I was in a very big house, It was old, and have lots of rooms inside…
There is this one room that seems to be special that I never tried to enter…
In my dreams mama seems to always talk with someone I can’t see, and she always insist na andun daw… she always says “sabi niya (ganun ganyan).. kaya kelangan ko….” So in my dreams I was confused who she talks too… there, Im trying to understand her…more and more…
A group of young people went to our house… they are friends of my shobe daw… they point to the mysterious room, they said there’s something evil inside…they want to explore it but they didn’t went inside… (just a typical teenager’s kakulitan)
After I went to a certain room.. there some teenagers,they are having a Bible study, so I find them doing a good thing so I didn’t bother to disturb them….
In my dream it was every night that my mom used to go out daw.. went somewhere and end up to that room inside the big old house.. kinda magulo but ganun…after she would always request everyone or anyone to just simply leave her there so inshort mag papa hatid lang siya, she was inlove with the guy inside the room that she usually talks to..she follows all his words… all…(she was possessed in a way)
I requested mama to introduce to me who is tha , but she said that he doesn’t want… so I insisted, but nothing happen
Mama in my dream would usually enter the room and ask grand ma (na usually nag hahatid daw sakanya sa room na yun) to leave her… and after the next day she would simply go back home or you will just see her lying asleep in the sala, knowing nothing, empty minded from what happen the last night, and in my dream it repeatedly happening everyday…
One time, I walked mama to the room, as I said it’s a long way to there, we even need to go out of the house to arrive to the room, but the room was just inside the house where we stay and that is also the house that we use to leave (basta dun din kami umaalis )… ako nag hatid kay mama kase I got curious sana nangyayari sakanya daw and start to mag duda…kase my mom is always empty minded…
There napatunayan ko it is the devils work… he wants mom… I never get the chance to enter the room.. also I don’t want… and he don't allow me to enter...
After, in my dream I start to think of how would I, could I save mama, and stop these things… I start thinking whether to say this to Boksu Reyes or not… then, I interviewed my grand ma about my mom.. along the way I saw Boksu, so I went to him and start to tell him everything… he believed me after proving it with himself…
I can’t remember all.. but all I can remember now is that Boksu asked me to pray… pray and pray…
Also in my dream I told Boksu that GOD answered my prayer very fast kase I was just thinking of telling him when I saw him, just in time…I said..
Then one night, again, my mom is again on her way to that room, I grabbed her and hugged her, and told the one inside that room that he can never have my mom.. I make bitbit my mom… (you know sa dream anything is possible hahaha)
The guy voice… in my dreams he sounded as someone familiar, naririnig ko siya but I never really got to understand what he says… recalling it now ah… he seems to be always talking lang…
Anyway, syempre he got mad, he have this powerful voice daw, he controls my mom daw, when you see my mom’s eyes turn green/ blue, that I can’t sure, she is being controlled daw… but my mom can’t do nothing because Iam grabbing her, there is Boksu too..walking with me while bitbit ko si mama, we we’re four actually kasama din namin si grand ma…
Then there is this force na humihila kay mama.. si grand ma she was also possessed, her eyes turns green / blue bay un… also Boksu is possessed…they are possessed to get my mom from me and returned it to him…so that time I went to a room na may table I hugged my mom… and prayed..and remembered how Boksu taught me to pray in situation like this..I prayed like this…
GOD, the Father of Abraham, the creator of Adam and Eve, the Father of Moses… the Father of Noah… I ask for YOU’re help, I love YOU GOD, and I love my mother and ayaw ko siya ibigay sakanya… pls save me and my mom…
Then nawala daw yung evil force na humihila kay mama from me… bigla daw dumating si Boksu and my grand ma.. they are normal again.. then I tell Boksu what happened and what I did and said in prayers and praise GOD… kase diba he is not aware na kase he was also possessed….
Then after I can feel the evil force is so angry and coming towards us, towards me.. in my dreams... I can feel he is becoming near.. by the force and the voice… so I hurriedly ask Boksu what to do.. kase we are aware na human lang din si Boksu and can be possessed again for I don’t know reason and why ako, Iam not possessed??
So that time, me and Boksu prayed together while I was standing na hugging my mom… I prayed like this…
GOD, the Father of Abraham, the creator of Adam and Eve, the Father of Moses… the Father of Noah… I ask for YOU’re help, I love YOU GOD, and I love my mother.. please help me.. You do not forsake… Iam YOU’re child.. and so as my mom…she is YOU’re child too…
Then there is silent… that time my eyes are close and and Iam not hearing Boksu voice na.. so in my dreams I thought that he might also again possessed… I was standing relying on GOD while hugging my mom…where I felt he is near.. so near… 1meter away from me.. then after closer.. then he whisper me something… which I can’t remember… In my dreams I planned to open my eyes.. in my heart I prayed to GOD to prepare what sight I will see when I open my eyes… so Im praying to ready myself not to be frightened to see satan face to face…not to feel fear seeing him because I have GOD in me…
When I open my eyes…
Then gsing na ako..reality na… upon waking up, It feels and seems so real, so real, na yung time that he whisper to me.. parang sa actual niya ginawa yun sa dream.. gets? well…after I thank GOD for not forsaking me again and again im my dreams, that HE is so powerful and loving to protect me even in my dreams, whenevver I call HIS name…
.. Satan always enters my dreams.... dun lang niya ako kaya attack...
Saturday, October 10, 2009
Burden
The feeling is different if you know what’s your burden, what GOD has planned for you. Who you would be, what role you would do in this life to glorify HIM… sometimes it is something you do before, you are before, but we know that nothing is permanent in this World that you happen to change and now you’re not into it, before your reason is for your own, now if you know that it is GOD’s burden for you, if its GOD’s calling, the burden is like a purpose and a duty that GOD called you to do for HIS glory. You’re going to do it not for you’re sake but for other’s, a very unselfish task and service.
This burden seems to be hard, now I understand how difficult it is to know you’re burden, it is totally going to a direction in life that you didn’t planned, but HE did. Before I already got the sense maybe that is my calling but.. I ignore it many times for I don’t want it, but last night upon analyzing, finalizing, realizing that I already know it I wanted to kneel down and cry, cry for help and asked why… because it seems to be hard and impossible, it is a life that I have already turned my back on. It is really hard, even if before I was once on that path. But I remember GOD and HIS Words, that if it is GOD’s will it won’t be that hard at all, He will lead, direct and guide me, and nothing is impossible for I have HIM. And if ever that I’ll have a difficult life because of fulfilling what HE has called me, it is okey, I’ll bear the pain and hardship because if it is for GOD, it is all worth it c”,)
Maybe guys, you are wondering how did I came to know what is GOD’s planned for me, it just happen that my heart cries every time I feel so helpless with the situation, feeling the chorus part in the song of Hosanna, more and more penetrating my senses (Clear my heart and make it clean, open up my eyes to the things unseen, Show me how to love like you have love me, Break my heart for what breaks yours, Everything Iam is for your kingdoms cause), so helpless that why can’t I do something so that this won’t happen, this and that, and now its clear, that I felt this because HE wants me to do something about this… then I asked how and why, then HE give me the answer… and that is now my calling c”,) I will just pray for HIM (and guys hope you pray for me to…) that may GOD be with me in this task, so that I will be able to do it, in me bestest, for HIS glory. c”,)
I always believe that a powerful warrior needs a battalion of prayers c”,) Do YOU agree??? hehehe
sorry for some, i intentionally didn't specify yung GOD's calling for me... i want it to be between me and GOD.. Iam also a private person hahaha its kinda not obvious lang hehehe
This burden seems to be hard, now I understand how difficult it is to know you’re burden, it is totally going to a direction in life that you didn’t planned, but HE did. Before I already got the sense maybe that is my calling but.. I ignore it many times for I don’t want it, but last night upon analyzing, finalizing, realizing that I already know it I wanted to kneel down and cry, cry for help and asked why… because it seems to be hard and impossible, it is a life that I have already turned my back on. It is really hard, even if before I was once on that path. But I remember GOD and HIS Words, that if it is GOD’s will it won’t be that hard at all, He will lead, direct and guide me, and nothing is impossible for I have HIM. And if ever that I’ll have a difficult life because of fulfilling what HE has called me, it is okey, I’ll bear the pain and hardship because if it is for GOD, it is all worth it c”,)
Maybe guys, you are wondering how did I came to know what is GOD’s planned for me, it just happen that my heart cries every time I feel so helpless with the situation, feeling the chorus part in the song of Hosanna, more and more penetrating my senses (Clear my heart and make it clean, open up my eyes to the things unseen, Show me how to love like you have love me, Break my heart for what breaks yours, Everything Iam is for your kingdoms cause), so helpless that why can’t I do something so that this won’t happen, this and that, and now its clear, that I felt this because HE wants me to do something about this… then I asked how and why, then HE give me the answer… and that is now my calling c”,) I will just pray for HIM (and guys hope you pray for me to…) that may GOD be with me in this task, so that I will be able to do it, in me bestest, for HIS glory. c”,)
I always believe that a powerful warrior needs a battalion of prayers c”,) Do YOU agree??? hehehe
sorry for some, i intentionally didn't specify yung GOD's calling for me... i want it to be between me and GOD.. Iam also a private person hahaha its kinda not obvious lang hehehe
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