rat

last last sunday.. i felt like a rat, being trapped.

i got a friend who i loved before... but things didn't worked out.
he mistreated me, he is so mean to me, he didn't love me, he didn't appreciate me, he is always angry at me, he always says not good things to me. he hurt me.
now, he is at chase of me for two years..

i can say, he have regrets, but he mistakenly interpreted that regret for love..

its like he just lost a diamond, and now he was trying his best to get it back again..

i kept telling him that sometimes we have to accept the past, that some things are over. the lesson there is.. while the person is still there, show them you love them, value them and treasure them.

anyway this is what he did last last sunday, he trickily planned for a date. he invited a couple and me..
at first i can feel that there's a plan going on.. but since i love the singer on that concert, i confirmed..
i appreciate the effort of his plan, that is why i also give chance to check him..

but all i can say, all he did turns me off..

why?

1st.. its a trap.. a double date.. and i hate it.. i felt like a rat in what he did..

2nd.. he seemed to talked to other guys that he had this plan and give way for him

3rd.. he lie to me

4th.. he is not a total gentleman

5th.. he is not a real man to me, and not a strong man for me and not an ideal..total failure..

all he did is not love.. its not out of love..

okey.. after discerning, got the answer.. now i have decided.. he is out of the list..

i didn't tell him anything because i don't want to hurt him, i just acted, after all action speaks louder than words. i started to ignore him and not mind him. end of the story.

tho this guy, his family likes me, and my family likes him, but again, i cannot teach my heart, my heart beats only to one person, and GOD is in control of it.

i only see this brother of mine as a brother, i love him as my brother. no more no less.