in my anger

in my anger.... GOD, please be in control of me, may I be like Jesus, humble and in control, may the Holy Spirit intercede me, that I may not offend others in my anger, a pure and righteous heart is all I pray... lead me brother Jesus.

friend One: Im not comfortable with my friend... how come we are going out this sunday with other friend "couple", i just pray that this is not a set-up.. for 2 to 3 hours, I've been thinking... sorry is the only word I can tell him, past is past, I cannot bring my heart back to him, it is with someone else that I am also trying to get and give it to someone who deserves it. the thing is he is not the only guy in the world, there are a lot more to choose from :P hahaha that is my secret.. :D

friend Two: Im mad at this person, this someone, i see him so yuck, so pathetic, so immature, so hungry with woman lustful. I didn't pray for a guy like him. I don't want to be with someone like that for the rest of my life, I pray that he will soon realize everything, while my heart is still with him, because if I have it back and give it to someone new..sorry will be the word, i don't know how to go back, like to my friend number one. I have endured and waited, don't know until when. now slowly my heart is opening, not my doing, not my will, but his, because he kept hurting me.

friend Three: someone new, hmm i have someone new in my mind, he is around since 2009, met him 2008, he is a good leader, gentleman, he is tall, white, chubby and I can say that he is a good matured Christian (noy just by knowledge but also by actions).. he tried to come to me many times, i always block his way, he again come to me last monday, oh how stupid for me to realize everything last thurs, now I pray, may Jesus open doors for me and him again. I will give a chance if he will be aggressive enough to chase me, I am ready to leave the person I love, for he haven't proven me his love, all he did is prove me that he is capable of hurting me.

friend Four: someone new, hehehe he is new in our church, I know I have to put walls because he is still new, he may shake if me and him didn't work out, I have to make sure that his faith is true, real and strong, else GOD might strike me with lightning, I need to usher people to Christ not make them stumble. Oh well, I like this guy, his sense of humor and his smile, by time, in HIS time, lets see.. hehehe right now, im on guard on my and his heart, walls up.

Jesus, let GOD know, and I know YOU both know that I am ready and wanting to be married soon. as in soon.