Oh this December.. I feel like James, he is a servant of GOD, so do I… oh well… this book of James comes to life in my my life and I praise GOD for that. ^_^
Trials and suffering – how true it is that when you serve GOD you will be put in many trials, so that your service for the LORD will be shaken?
For the past months been struggling with all my ministry because of all my life’s trial, unconsciously and unintentionally, I’ve been wanting to hold back… been wanting to quit… with yes and no ; go and stop attitude, like Elijah and David been trying to run away from the will of GOD, but thank GOD that HE have HIS ways to bring me back. Sometimes knowing in my thought that the more I will serve, surely the more these flaming arrows of the enemies will target me.. been on off mode… spiritually struggling.. too focus on all the trials that I am encountering, sometimes im on my feet standing, sometimes im on my feet sitting, but the good thing, im still on my feet for GOD didn’t forsake me, HE was with me all this time, thank GOD that my foundation is good so here I am standing firm.. a realization that the Armor of GOD, Ephesians 6:10-20 is very important, then go back to the Bible, pray deeply, trust GOD and have faith that’s all needed.
Oh well, I consider it pure joy facing all this trials, because my faith is being tested, because it is true, so all I need is to persevere, my goal is to have the crown of life. It is like running a race 1 Corinthians 9:24-27.
Another lesson here, is when we ask GOD for wisdom, awe so true that we must not doubt, we must believe because that’s trusting and having faith in HIM. HE is in control. Truly HE is. If one doubt, one is double-minded and unstable in all he does, which so happened to me, once a friend talked to me and told me na “ano nangyayari sayo mj? Bakit ang labo at gulo mo kausap” it is because im into this sin.
Oh oh temptation… truly temptation is from the enemy and not from GOD…only this month I realize that there is this desire in my heart… a desire that is not bad… but a reminder again that anything my heart desires more than GOD is evil, or an idol. Our heart should only desire GOD. And GOD alone. For the past month October to December, I felt “blessed” to be given the “option” in a way to be pursued? Kulit? by guys, this a great struggle for me the past months, been checking on them, na-disturbed ako and my focus is not on GOD anymore, but to check them who will pass my standard and GOD standard, been thinking maybe this is it, maybe the will of GOD is one of them, been asking sisters from other churches for advices, they told me if I can’t decide, might as well don’t decide, so I dropped the case and didn’t decide, inshort i drop them all, because everytime I will pray and ask GOD for wisdom, there is no answer. I realize that it is not a blessing from GOD but temptation from the enemy, so that I will fail to walk the path GOD has willed for me. so GOD is not tempting me, but the enemy did.
Oh how true is it that we should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry. While im struggling, of course my relationship with GOD is obviously struggling also, not okey. With my ministry the on off , go stop attitude is a sign of disobedient. So with this attitude in me, am I pleasing GOD? Of course NO. with that, surely my heart is not right with GOD and if the heart is not right with GOD, the person whole being is not right, the perspective and attitude change. I have encountered conflicts with people, because of having wrong perspective, or should I say not godly perspective, I have said words that is not pleasing or don’t glorify GOD, lacking control over one tongue due to anger.. so it is oh so true to keep a tight reign over one’s tongue. Oh well all the verses in Bible comes in.. so go back to the Bible once again… hehehe really I have this tongue issue, im a loud type of person, and what my heart/mind speaks I speak, which is not okey.. but it will be fine if my heart is guarded by GOD, if the heart is right.
So far for the past 3 months been reflecting again with verses for the tongue, because when 2011 starts I had the burden to have a control over it. I don’t know, I just need too.. who can say no to GOD. ^_^ eh when I started the year, everything is going fine, when suddenly ewan.. i just stopped, thank GOD HE gives me back the burden to do so ^_^
Oh well, been growing more spiritually, that is why, after all what I have been through, I still thank GOD and praise GOD for allowing all the trials and temptation in my life. ^_^ HE deserves all the praise ^_^ for HIS glory ^_^
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