Dealing with Difficult People

Posted on November 12, 2012 by Michael Carino

A man is almost about to die. As he lay on his deathbed, the man confided to his wife, “I cannot die without telling you the truth. I cheated on you throughout our whole marriage. All those nights when I told you I was working late, I was with other women. And not just one woman either, but I’ve slept with dozens of them.”

His wife looked at him calmly and said, “Why do you think I gave you the poison?”

Have you ever felt that you are surrounded with the wrong people? Is your spouse doing some things that causes you pain and you wonder why in the world am I stuck with this person? Is there a difficult person in your life — perhaps a friend, a relative, an officemate, a classmate, a church-mate — that is so annoying, hurtful, egotistic, arrogant, self-serving… and you do not know how to handle this person?

Dealing with difficult people requires proper wisdom, right words, and divine work.

David and his 600 guerrilla fighters are camped and hiding from Saul. But they’re not idle. They’re a kind of unofficial police force for the area. They protected shepherds from the attack of marauding tribes who would suddenly overrun an area, steal livestock and assault small villages.

Now there was a man in Maon whose business was in Carmel; and the man was very rich, and he had three thousand sheep and a thousand goats… (v.2)

Now, a big beneficiary of their presence was a guy named “Nabal”. He was very rich, and as a result… very influential.  He owned 3,000 sheep and 1,000 goats. Pretty good, when you consider that the average rancher owned only about 100 sheep.

…the man’s name was Nabal… (v.3)  The name “Nabal” literary in the Hebrew means, “fool”.  We don’t really know for sure how Nabal got his name. But what we do know from the story, is that He certainly lived up to his name!

…the man’s name was Nabal, and his wife’s name was Abigail. And the woman was intelligent and beautiful in appearance, but the man was harsh and evilin his dealings… (v.3)

Vs. 3 gives us some insight into his personality. It tells us he was “harsh and evil in his dealings…” a “Portrait of a FOOL.”

• Someone who expects their mate to put up with their obnoxious behavior and treatment of them.  (it’s either my way or get out of my way)
• Someone who’s always trying to get something for nothing…and uses other people to get it.
• Someone who is stubborn. A person who doesn’t admit that he/she has a problem, and is unwilling to change.

Nabal’s wife is exactly the opposite of him. The bible contrasts her with him, in that same verse, it says here that she was both “intelligent and beautiful”.

She had good understanding and a beautiful form. She was lovely not only on the outside… but on the inside as well.  So here’s Abigail a gracious & lovely lady, and for whatever reason… she’s married to a conceited, arrogant, irresponsible, fool!

As we come to vs. 4, we find out that it’s “shearing time” at Nabal’s ranch. During spring, all the shepherds would bring their sheep in to be sheered of their thick winter coats before the hot summer months hit.

When shearing their sheep… It was the custom to throw a big feast in celebration. Nabal would have had an especially big bash for the shepherds… plus neighbors, family and relatives.

It was also the custom of that day, to set aside a portion of the profit, and give it to those who had protected the shepherds during the past year. It was kind of like tipping the waiter. There wasn’t any law that you had to… but… it wasn’t a bad idea!

You can imagine the efficient, capable Abigail supervising the entire feast. And it was a great one! It went on for days… and word eventually made it to the mountains where David and his men were staying, that “Nabal had a good year and he’s throwing a party!”

Now to David and his men, that meant only 1 thing… PAYDAY! They’d been faithfully protecting and watching out for his flocks, so it stands to reason that they should share in some of the fruit.  Nabal’s own employees testify to how good they were treated by David’s men.

So, David sends 10 men to politely ask for a share of the food…

But listen to Nabal’s response in vs. 10-11.

But Nabal answered David’s servants and said, “Who is David? And who is the son of Jesse? There are many servants today who are each breaking away from his master. “Shall I then take my bread and my water and my meat that I have slaughtered for my shearers, and give it to men whose origin I do not know?“ (v.8-11)

He says, “Who’s David?” Can you imagine that? What arrogance! What a fool! I mean, he just insulted a band of 600 armed & hungry men! He just insulted his future king! Not a smart thing to do!

Everybody there knew exactly who David was, but Nabal was too busy playing the “BIG MAN” in front of his guests to care.

Well, when the messengers returned back to David and reported what Nabal had said… David was fuming mad! Through clenched teeth, he orders his men to put on their swords.

So David’s young men… went back; and they came and told him… all these words.

David said to his men, “Each of you gird on his sword.” So each man girded on his sword. And David also girded on his sword, and about four hundred men went up behind David while two hundred stayed with the baggage. (v.12-13)

Insulting a band of armed and hungry men is not a very smart thing to do.

Meanwhile,  a servant tells Abigail what her foolish husband just did.

But one of the young men told Abigail…

“David sent messengers from the wilderness to greet our master, and he scorned them. Yet the men were very good to us, and we were not insulted, nor did we miss anything as long as we went about with them, while we were in the fields. They were a wall to us both by night and by day, all the time we were with them tending the sheep…” (v.14-17)

Abigail knows exactly what to do!

She understands the consequences of her husband’s foolish words, and she also understands men and threats, and how they feel compelled to respond to insults.

She’d probably never met this David, but she’d heard of him. I mean, who hadn’t? She knew he was rash and hot tempered, (just as rash and hot tempered as her husband)… but not as stupid.

And I want you to notice how she responds, because I think it gives a lot of insight into what to do when you’re dealing with a jerk.

So, what’s the lesson of Abigail?

1. Don’t ARGUE … let life discipline.

Abigail didn’t waste any time telling “THE FOOL.”  In fact, she didn’t get into a fight with him at all.

Prov. 23:9  puts it this way, “ Don’t bother talking sense to fools; they’ll only poke fun at your words. ” (The Message) In other words, “Don’t argue with a jerk, while their being a jerk.”

When a person is in a state of rebellion and arrogance… you can talk to them until you’re blue in the face… but they won’t listen.

Abigail stayed out of arguments with her fool husband. Instead, she stood back and allowed the consequences of Nabal’s actions be his best teacher.

If you’re an Abigail… realize that life itself has a way of softening the hardest heart. And what you need to do is to just stand back and allow your “difficult person” (whoever it is) to come to the end of themselves, before they’ll listen to you.

2. Don’t WHINE … Take Action

Abigail refused to play the part of the victim. She refused to be victimized by her husband’s stupidity.

She didn’t just sit at home and let everything collapse while whining… “Poor me! Our life is falling apart! We’re going to be destroyed… but what can I do? I’m supposed to be his obedient, submissive wife!”

No! She did something about it! She got busy baking bread, packing fig bars, jamming raisins into sacks!

Then Abigail hurried and took two hundred loaves of bread and two jugs of wine and five sheep already prepared and five measures of roasted grain and a hundred clusters of raisins and two hundred cakes of figs, and loaded them on donkeys. (v.18)

Then she mounts up, and rides out to save the “Fool” from himself. On the road, she meets David, who is bent on burning their home to the ground. She promptly dismounts and bows before this young warrior.

When Abigail saw David, she hurried and dismounted from her donkey, and fell on her face before David and bowed herself to the ground. She fell at his feet and said, “On me alone, my lord, be the blame. And please let your maidservant speak to you, and listen to the words of your maidservant. Please do not let my lord pay attention to this worthless man, Nabal, for as his name is, so is he. Nabal is his name and folly is with him…” (v.23-25)

“Now therefore, my lord, as the Lord lives, and as your soul lives, since the Lord has restrained you from shedding blood, and from avenging yourself by your own hand, now then let your enemies and those who seek evil against my lord, be as Nabal. Now let this gift which your maidservant has brought to my lord be given to the young men who accompany my lord. Please forgive the transgression of your maidservant…” (v.26-28)

Interceding for her husband, she presents her gifts, predicts David’s ultimate ascension to the throne, talks him out of his vengeance…and then remounts her donkey and rides away!

I can imagine that David is sitting there stunned, as he watches her disappear, and he’s thinking… “WOW! Now that’s a woman! Not only did she succeed in saving her husband’s worthless neck, but… she saved me from a “knee jerk reaction” as well! Now that’s the kind of woman I need… someone who can save me from my own worst self.”

The difference between Nabal and David was that David was willing to listen to Abigail. He had a teachable spirit. That’s one of the reasons the bible calls him, “A man after God’s own heart”. He was willing to change.

Put yourself in Abigail’s sandals for a moment. Here was her chance to get rid of this miserable husband. She could have thought, “Finally! Nabal has treated me like dirt… now it’s time he got a taste of his own poison!”

But instead of responding in revenge and letting David finish him off, she acts sacrificially in his favor!

If you’re dealing with a difficult person today, quit complaining about it, and pack up the donkeys with food! Be an Abigail!  Abigail didn’t allow herself to be victimized, or simply complain about her situation… she took action.

3. Don’t MANIPULATE … Let God work.

Refuse to manipulate the difficult person. Instead, give him over to God and let Him deal with their stubbornness.

Then Abigail came to Nabal, and behold, he was holding a feast in his house, like the feast of a king. And Nabal’s heart was merry within him, for he was very drunk; so she did not tell him anything at all until the morning light.

But in the morning, when the wine had gone out of Nabal, his wife told him these things, and his heart died within him so that he became as a stone. About ten days later, the Lord struck Nabal and he died. (v.36-38)

Abigail returns home. Nabal didn’t even know she’d been gone. He’s too busy throwing another party and getting drunk.

So the next morning… after he sobers up, she tells him about the whole incident. How David and 400 of his men were coming full tilt down the hill to kill him, and how she saved his life.

Now Nabal gets really sober! His eyes filled with terror, he lays down, stares at the ceiling frozen with fear for 10 days, and then dies of a stroke!

Word travels fast about Nabal’s death. David hears about it, and remembers Abigail. Intelligent… beautiful… experienced in advising willful, stubborn men… hmmmmm.

So he sends his servants to propose marriage to Abigail, and she humbly accepts. She became the best wife he could have imagined. She helped him acquire new traits… gentleness, submission, patience, the ability to think before you act. All things that he lacked.

Isn’t it amazing how when you do what’s right, without giving up, how God takes the impossible things of life and turns them around for your advantage?

Now, in Abigail’s situation… the difficult person in her life died.

And, I sincerely hope that your situation hasn’t become so desperate that you wish that would happen to yours. Although, I know of some cases where it would be a relief!  Sometimes you just wish that the difficult persons in your life would just go away.

Thankfully, today we live by grace… What that means is that… people can change!

If you happen to be connected to a fool or difficult person — whether it is your spouse, your boss, your child, your friend, your workmate, your church-mate, your relative, or your neighbor — there’s hope today.

Christ’s death on the cross is not only designed to get us to heaven, but it’s designed to get heaven into us!  God has provided grace to remake us and remold us. He has the ability to transform us into new creations.

God is in the business of reforming jerks, and transforming foolish, hurtful, difficult people.

So give God time. Whether you can see it or not… if you’re praying for them… you can be assured that… God is working on them!

Who’s the difficult person in your life that needs transforming? Husband? Wife? Boss? Fellow employee? Relative? Son? Daughter?… Maybe even YOU!


http://www.michaelcarino.com/dealing-with-difficult-people/

A Perfect Christmas

My idea of a perfect Christmas
Is to spend it with you
In a party 
Or dinner for two
Anywhere would do
Celebrating the yuletide season
Always lights up our lives
Simple pleasures are made special too
When their shared with you
II:
Looking through some old photographs
Faces of friends we'll always remember
Watching busy shoppers rushing about
In the cool breeze of December
Sparkling lights, all over town
Children's carols in the air
By the Christmas tree
A shower of stardust on your hair
chorus:
I cant think of a better Christmas
Than my wish coming true
And my wish is you'd let me spend my whole life with you
repeat II
chorus
My idea of a perfect Christmas is to spend it with you

THE EYES OF FAITH

And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him. Hebrews 11:6

Any tragedy--great or small--forces us to acknowledge our humanity, and often that realization leaves us depressed or immobilized. But through difficulty or disaster, many turn to God; others turn on Him, blaming Him for the difficulty, accusing Him of failing to stop the tragedy, forgetting that while God loves us, He never promises to protect us from all evil.

Many, though, find in God strength, encouragement, and help. The upward look is the look of faith, and it focuses on God. It connects spiritually. As the writer of Hebrews put it: "Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God" (Hebrews 12:2).

But you say, "I can't see Him!" But you can, by faith! Faith sees what can be seen only by your soul. The classic passage in the New Testament that describes faith is Hebrews chapter eleven. Here the writer talks about men and women who believed God in the face of great difficulties, and says, "These all died in faith, not having received the things promised, but having seen them and greeted them from afar, and having acknowledged that they were strangers and exiles on the earth" (Hebrews 11:13, English Standard Version).

Faith means redirecting your gaze, your concentration, and your focus. It means getting your eyes off your trouble, the loss you have experienced, your pain and difficulty, and turning them upon the Lord, getting God into focus.

There are many things which faith does not know, and actually cannot know. These are the dark questions that confront you in the night when you cannot sleep. Such as? Such as answers to five adverbs: Why? What? Where? When? and How? Those are the questions that rise from our old natures, the ones that have no answer this side of heaven. In most cases, should God choose to answer them, we still could not really understand.

Faith knows one thing though. It is whom! And what does that mean? In prison for his faith, suffering at the hands of Romans, Paul wrote to a young man whose name is Timothy and said, "I know whom I have believed, and am convinced that he is able to guard what I have entrusted to him for that day" (2 Timothy 1:12). Sight rests upon something; faith rests upon Someone.

Many stumble through life dogged by bitterness, cynicism, and anger, feeling that God has forsaken them or doesn't exist at all because they can't understand why something happened. Faith doesn't deny that evil is there, but it sees Him who is above and beyond the evil. Faith chooses to get on with your life and begin to strive to find a purpose in living that can come only through a spiritual framework.

Faith is the assurance that nothing is forever, that dawn follows the darkness, that someday you will understand the questions that plague you, that God hasn't singled you out for special trials, and that in your pain and difficulty you can find God's comfort and help.

Faith has eyes that penetrate the darkness with a spiritual night vision that sees the hand of the Almighty in stronger outline than the hand of evil. It hopes in the final triumph of good over evil, and believes in the face of unbelief. Finally faith rests in the knowledge that God is good and puts into His strong hand what you can neither reverse nor change. It allows God to take the night shift and believes that when morning comes, He will be there to welcome you and to walk with you through the long day.

Resource reading: Hebrews 11:1-16.

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will i still appreciate?

It is the month of November again, and time flies fast, 1 month to go and it is my birthday once again. last year the past love of mine forgot to greet me, or intentionally didn't greet me, if only he knew how much my heart was broken? my simple happiness for my birthday that time is to be greeted by him, last 2009 yes he did via text 3 times, 2010 yes he also did in church. for the year 2010 and 2011, i almost cried waiting to be greeted by him. and i really cried when he did not.

Oh well, on his birthday last April 2012 i didn't greet him as well, not really a revenge, but just making him feel that everything is mutual, he didn't mind greeting me, so i might as well do the same. im not sure if he is hurt, i guess he is not, how could a person who don't love me be hurt.

This year i am not waiting for his greeting anymore, am not sure also if i will still appreciate if he greets me, im not sure who i am waiting to greet me on my birthday, but the feeling is more of, i am just so excited to have a birthday celebration because this would be my 1st birthday that i am out of tremendous pain from loving the past love. Let's see what will happen on my birthday, i will pray that I will be happy that day. anticipating what GOD has for me. :) hehehe

LSS

I don't know about tomorrow,
I just live from day to day;
I don't borrow from its sunshine,
For its sky may turn to gray.
I don't worry over the future;
For I know what Jesus said;
And today I'll walk beside HIM,
For HE knows what is ahead.

-LSS

I kept singing this in my mind and in my heart from yesterday to today, admittedly I am distracted, which is not good... hahaha like right now there are 3 male that is in my mind, why do they always get into my head, and ruin me hahahaha joke... but anyway, the 3rd guy, we're settled. close deal, we can never be more than close enough. okey now i am thinking of my past and semi past .. hahaha what ah term...
why my past's world and my world is in one world, got it? we move in one world, we have all the common close friends we could have, why oh why? but that doesn't mean that we're meant. why didn't it worked out before?
okey i am also thinking of my semi-past hahahaha... why also it didn't worked out? but i know why, because the past is still a semi-past that time... this guy, i know what he needs in life, i know why he is like that... and i don't know, i just want to love him. if only GOD is willing and will open doors. then after thinking about my semi-past, i will think of my past, how about him? will he be hurt.. what if... too many what if's... but i have a message about "what if's"... they are words spoken not done.
okey, sometimes what if we we're again given another chance, maybe this time it will work out, but that's just a what if.. because i know even if my heart still cares for him, i know we're not best for one another, many chances are given to me and him, but we both failed and let it passed.  but still, i will be still, i wait on GOD, and I will submit to whatever plan HE has for me. I will love the one HE appointed me to love, and I know the one will come, in HIS time. so right now, i should again go back focusing on GOD and work, never be idle. glorify GOD.

Seated beside me

Yesterday at church, I attended the 2^nd service, for a very rare opportunity, I was like seated with a new good friend, James Mervin Ong, I so seldom sit with someone, because I always sit alone. I know I will sit with him, but for the intention to sit beside Remington, since they got their position interchanged unconsciously from the way I planned it, I was seated beside James, I saw and I know, many saw it and was curious about it, but all the time, in my thought and in my heart, that how and whatever this people will see it and interpret it will not be my problem, as long as I am clear with GOD, I am clear. Nothing to worry. 

crush

Today was the first time I went out to watch a movie with my crush, tho we’re not dating, as in dating like 2, nor under a group date, we’re like 8, no intention of a date, because it’s a group plan to watch movie together, we watched “skyfall” , inside the movie house, we we’re like seated in 2 different rows. But anyway, the idea that I went out with him is a butterfly feeling. Hahaha tho I didn’t confirmed to join them, I was really excited to go out, the condition was like if they will watch on a time that I can catch up to, I will watch with them, but if not, It is okey, I won’t too because I really got busy schedule on a Sunday, so I am open to accept the reality that GOD could have planned it that way, that I will not go out with them. But by any chance, they make it possible for me to join, so I was able. Thank GOD hehehe we all enjoyed the movie, tho it is not really a rate 10 movie, but it is not bad at all. Then after we went to King Chef, my favorite restaurant, it is his choice, but anyway, we also enjoyed the food and he paid it. Nice! Then after I planned to stay in LCM because I still got something to buy blank CD, but he knew I didn’t bring my car along with me so he offered a ride along with 2 girls. J Im happy. tho he is not pursuing me. So what! Hahaha, still he is my crush now. And if before we didn’t worked out, I know GOD has a reason, maybe GOD wants both to stay as friends or HE simply knew both are not ready that time.

one of my favorite songs

this is one of my favorite songs, and I don't know why I kept hearing it sung by my past.
but this is a one great song.

we fought

I have this friend, he is dear to me, he is born 1987, about 2 and half years younger to me. He is my mentor at toastmaster; the two of us really get along well. We have meeting of minds and we share lots of story about ourselves. He loves someone else but they are not they, and I, I think like someone and I also think I am still love with someone else.

Last 2 weeks ago, we just had a fight, we we’re talking about him to wait or not to the one he loves; we fought because of some misunderstanding of point. After 1 week and so, I think about 10 days we’re back again to our normal friendship… then just the next day, we fought again. Oh child! Like a child! hahaha but anyway our fight this time is more serious, it just so happened that I am so sensitive and he, he is so strong, he happened to raise his pride over me, which in turn upset me more.

So we got out issue all about the outing, for November 30, 2012, I really reserve the day for toastmaster people, but it just so happened that for some reason, he in favored of an activity that I don’t favored, and the way he favored on it doesn't seemed to be just fair or favorable to me, he also did lose some firm stand with his 1^st few words, that loses my respect towards him, then it lead him to decide in pride that hurts me so, then eventually he started to throw firing words to me, and me the 1^st step, run…. That lead him to self righteousness, he thinks that all he does is right, that he speaks the truth in love, and that he kept telling me that all he says and think is the truth. Then yesterday, I told him we need to have space, I wanted him to keep distance with our friendship, that I won’t tell him how I find things, that I will just let time to know when to tell him, since time is the best teacher, then eventually he again fire his words.. I felt so attacked that I also drops some words, like he is intelligent but not humble, that he decides in pride and pointed that he never understand my soft side. Whew! Sounded like we fought like a lover, but we’re not! And it ended up like a period because I really can’t handle such extreme emotion. And I cried the whole night that causes my eyes to be bulky and chubby this whole morning in church, that many seemed to notice.

Today, we met up together with some of ours toastmaster’s friends, I said hi to him, but ofcorse I treated him not the same. And afterward, after giving him a cold shoulder I felt bad. I texted him and told him that I really wanted to be a friend to him and how much I appreciate his existence, told him in order to save our friendship we both need space and keep distance with our friendship, because we could clash. He replied, and he agreed to what I message him, we both know that people who have a strong personality are people who are really weak, they become strong because they protect their heart and interest. He also told me not to read his past message, I agree and told him I won't, because I know that an angry person should not be listened to, because the words that they say are hurtful. I am not sure where the friendship will lead, but I know he is important to me now, he listens to me, he is there to listen to me. and I value my friendship to this person very much.

I know who holds tomorrow

I know who holds tomorrow, so I will trust GOD still.

I have a past love, whom I am moving on, the time I was there, I was ruined, yet this pass still matters to me, I don't want to see him hurt. sometimes I am thinking to go back, but he is no good for me, he have tortured my heart in the past, he has done many unforgivable things to me, I can forgive him, but I am sure I can't forget all of it now.

I have a past crush, who I am attracted so much, we didn't worked out, but now I would like to give 2nd chance, though he is not pursuing me now, but this guy, he compliments me, i think he compliments me. I know he has a chance to grow in-love with Christ the way that happened to me, I was a sinner saved by Grace, and I can see that he wants to change the mistakes he did to me last time. He is really my type, I like the way he thinks and act as a man. He is a true man.

I have a present friend, who does matter so much to me now, we both know that we we're only friends and good to be friends, and up to that only, but I am no longer sure for his value to me, tho I am really not attracted to him and I am not seeing him as a potential too.

this is my situation now, I will be still and be normal, and not plan my life anymore. I will let GOD..

Nothing is impossible if GOD is with me

I have a big dream, a dream that I would like to fulfill soon.

These are to have my own business, buy another car (Isuzu Crosswind) for family and business use, buy a house for my family and then get married and have my own family.. And to think, I am dreaming to have these all in 2 years time… It may sound and seem too fast to achieve them all, but hey nothing is impossible, especially when GOD is with me. I know, and always believed that GOD is always with me in everything that I do and achieved, HIS hands are present. I can say that through time, GOD molded me in sales, in selling things, and I am really not good is selling real estate, but by GOD’s grace I was able, and all I can say that it is all through HIS leading and moving.

I know that GOD wants me to achieve these all, because HE knows my heart, HE knows that these are not for my selfish gain, HE knows that even I am capable of achieving these all, these aren't my heart’s desire, HE knows I only want to have these for my family, so that through it, having me as an instrument by HIS grace, HE will be glorified, and my family will come to know HIM, the ONE who changes me, and enabled me to show them how it is to be love. The sacrifices that I can do for them, because I love them, which and what I learn from Jesus sacrifices for me because He loves us. So right now, I need to follow first GOD and make sacrifices, so that my heart’s desire if HE is willing may someday be given to me, in HIS time.

Matthew 21:21-22 Jesus replied, “Truly I tell you, if you have faith and do not doubt, not only can you do what was done to the fig tree, but also you can say to this mountain, ‘Go, throw yourself into the sea,’ and it will be done.  If you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer.”

I want to love again and I will love again

All Of Me lyrics

The first day that I met you
I think I always knew
That you were meant to be the one
And then the feeling grew
With God and friends my witness
Our love will never die
I take the gift you gave me
Don't need to question why

For all the faults I'm made of
For all the wrongs I do
I'm not asking you to judge me
Just be true

All of me
Is what I give to you
And everything I have
I wanna share with you
And with this ring
For all eternity
I make this vow
When I give you all of me

This life is short and precious
A one way ticket ride
I thank you for the journey
I know you're on my side
And we are only here once
I'm glad we shared this day
Of knowing something special
That will never go away

For all the faults I'm made of
And all the wrongs I do
I'm not asking you to judge me
Just be true

All of me
Is what I give to you
And everything I have
I wanna share with you
And with this ring
For all eternity
I make this vow
When I give you all of me

All of me
That's what I give to you
And everything I have
I'm gonna share with you, yeah
And with this ring
I give for all eternity
My love
I make this vow

All of me
Is what I give to you
And everything I have
I wanna share with you
And with this ring
For all eternity
I make this vow
When I give you all of me
I give you all of me

Christ is Love

Human love may fail, but GOD's love never will.

Love Never Fails

Love is not proud
Love does not boast
Love after all
Matters the most

Love does not run
Love does not hide
Love does not keep
Locked inside

Love is the river that flows through
Love never fails you

Love will sustain
Love will provide
Love will not cease
At the end of time

Love will protect
Love always hopes
Love still believes
When you don't

Love is the arms that are holding you
Love never fails you

When my heart won't make a sound
When I can't turn back around
When the sky is falling down
Nothing is greater than this
Greater than this

Love is right here
Love is alive
Love is the way
The truth the life

Love is the river than flows through
Love is the arms that are holding you
Love is the place you will fly to
Love never fails you

How to measure a person?

How to measure a person? Can you tell?

By ruler? Tape measure? By weighing scale? By bank accounts? Number of houses? Business that they have? Friends that they have? Wife? Wives? How many children? And what their children have achieved?

In this life, we can’t really measure a person..  We can’t measure a person by how rich he could reach, by how many friends he could get..  Or how successful he could be.

We can only measure a person of what kind a person he lived his life when he is gone, when he died. To how many people cried over his death, how many people misses him, what impact he had made in other people’s lives, and how well and good person he lived his life.

Christ, I think it is obvious that what Christ did really made an impact in everyone’s lives, to generations to generation, even after two centuries.
If we will all be like Christ, If we will all follow His footsteps, we will all be able to also make an impact to other people’s lives, which I think will glorify GOD.

Which we might and might not be rewarded here in this world, but surely in heaven, we will be rewarded.
Revelation 22:12 “Look, I am coming soon! My reward is with me, and I will give to each person to what they have done. ”

Show your love when they are still alive not when they are gone

"Show your love when they are still alive not when they are gone." a very obvious statement. 

Today is November 1, Fil-Chinese here in the Philippines usually go to the cemetery and give food offerings,flowers,  incense, fake money and candle to show their dead love ones that they are remembered and loved. But is the word “dead” obvious? .. a dead person, is dead, no emotions, can’t feel and can’t see. How come they still give such an effort? It is good to see how they still love and respect their love ones, but logically, it is not logical… so my stand and what I believe in, show the people I love now that I love them so that when they die, I won’t have regrets, because I know that they know that I love them .

In relate to any relationship, whether they die or not, show the person that you love them while they are still there.. because when they are gone, when they left.. we might not be able too… they may never know how much we truly love them.. and how much we value them.

HIS plans, not ours, HIS time, not ours

Proverbs 19:21 Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails.

for a month I've been thinking of this verse, it keeps running my mind, many thoughts and realization from this verse

1. I could plan many things in my life, what to do tomorrow, next week, next month, next year and succeeding years, but no assurance that it will be fulfilled. because it is GOD's plan that will prevail.

2. Likewise everyone can plan their lives, but still GOD's plan will prevail.

3. I could be mad and plan my life, but still GOD will move.

4. I could choose someone and be that someone's wife, but again, GOD will intervene if yes or no.

5. All I can do everyday of my life is submit to HIS leading, and be ready to whatever plan HE has.

6. Be joyful, for whatever HE has planned for me.

7. While waiting for the one... whoever he is, I would gladly accept him, and will love him, the way GOD wants me to love him.. HIS will not mine. HIS choice not mine.

8. I can plan many things in life, I may want to do many things in life, but again and again... its HIS plan that will prevail.

9. I want to get married next year or soon, but every time i will get excited, I will remember, I can want it, but again, If it is HIS plan. So I will wait for the one, I will say I do to... I wonder who he is... I am clueless.. only GOD knows.

this last song... i will be relating too if the one that is willed for me by GOD is with me, but temporarily I'll focus on GOD.. I know he will come... if it is already GOD's time... I will not be anxious of waiting..instead enjoy every moment while waiting...

10. To submit is the best and only choice I have. :) hehehehe

broken girl

I am once a broken girl... the one pushed aside by the cold cold world.

but i was again put back together again, by GOD's grace.

Forgiveness and Reconciliation

Forgiveness and reconciliation, are two different things.

One can forgive a person without reconciliation.

Reconciliation only happens if the person who made an offense asked for a reconciliation or forgiveness to the person who is offended.

GOD can forgive us when we sinned. And we are be reconciled with HIM if and when we repent. As simple as that.

... when you left, i decided to leave

I think, you have no right to be in pain or to be mad at me now that I left you.

Because in the past I never really felt loved by you, all I felt is rejection, I was denied many times to everyone, I was despised by you as everyone knows.

I stayed even if it hurts, I did my best to understand even if I am broken, I hold on and didn't thought of letting go, just kept hoping and waiting that one day, everything will change... but I was so wrong.. completely wrong..  

But the day Feb 14, 2012 made an impact in our lives, when you did what you did to her.

You didn't just turn your back on me; you killed our love when you left.

DID I MARRY THE RIGHT PERSON?

This is a very good article. Those who are still single may learn something from... here...
Those who are already married or in a commitment may take it as a guideline to improve your marriage & relationship ...

DID I MARRY THE RIGHT PERSON?

During one of our seminars, a woman asked a common question. She said, "How do I know if I married the righ
t person?"

I noti

ced that there was a large man sitting next to her so I said, "It depends. Is that your husband?"
In all seriousness, she answered "How do you know?"

Let me answer this question because the chances are good that it's weighing on your mind.

Here's the answer.
EVERY relationship has a cycle. In the beginning, you fell in love with your spouse/partner. You anticipated their call, wanted their touch, and liked their idiosyncrasies (unconventional behavior/habit) .

Falling in love with your spouse wasn't hard. In fact, it was a completely natural and spontaneous experience.
You didn't have to DO anything. That's why it's called "falling" in love... Because it's happening TO YOU.

People in love sometimes say, "I was swept off my feet." Think about the imagery of that __expression. It implies that you were just standing there; doing nothing, and then something came along and happened TO YOU.

Falling in love is easy. It's a passive and spontaneous experience. But after a few years of marriage, the euphoria (excitement) of love fades. It's the natural cycle of EVERY relationship. Slowly but surely, phone calls become a bother (if they come at all), touch is not always welcome (when it happens), and your spouse's idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute, drive you nuts.

The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship, but if you think about your marriage, you will notice a dramatic difference between the initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry subsequent stage.

At this point, you and/or your spouse might start asking, "Did I marry the right person?"
And as you and your spouse reflect on the euphoria of the love you once had, you may begin to desire that experience with someone else.
This is when marriages or relationship breakdown. People blame their spouse/partner for their unhappiness and look outside their marriage/relationship for fulfillment.

Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes. Infidelity is the most obvious.
But sometimes people turn to work, a hobby, excessive TV, or abusive substances.

But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your marriage. It lies within it.
I'm not saying that you couldn't fall in love with someone else.
You could.

And TEMPORARILY you'd feel better. But you'd be in the same situation a few years later. Because (listen carefully to this):

THE KEY TO SUCCEEDING IN MARRIAGE/RELATIONSHIP IS NOT FINDING THE RIGHT PERSON; IT'S LEARNING TO LOVE THE PERSON YOU FOUND.

SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. It'll NEVER just happen to you. You can't "find" LASTING love. You have to "make" it day in and day out. That's why we have the __expression "the labor of love." Because it takes time, effort, and energy. And most importantly, it takes WISDOM. You have to know WHAT TO DO to make your marriage/relationship work. Sure true love can only happen after you've fallen out of love. When you begin choosing to love, even if you don't feel like doing it ---- that's true love. And that's the foundation of a lasting and strong marriage.

Make no mistake about it. Love is NOT a mystery. There are specific things you can do (with or without your spouse) to succeed with your marriage.

Just as there are physical laws of the universe (such as gravity), there are also laws for relationships.
Just as the right diet and exercise program makes you physically stronger, certain habits in your relationship WILL make your marriage stronger.
It's a direct cause and effect. If you know and apply the laws, the results are predictable. .. you can "make"love.

Love is indeed a "decision".. . Not just a feeling. You'll not just go away with your relationship just because the feeling is gone. In the Bible, love is a command. You make it happen.

Remember this always:

"God determines who walks into your life. It is up to you to decide who you let walk away, who you let stay, and who you refuse to let go."
FW: Ruth Beltran

"Marriage is more than saying I Do. Marriage, like a precious plant, needs constant tending for it to grow, flourish, and bear fruit to last a lifetime, and beyond."
-David and Evelyn Feliciano

leaving yesterday behind

Tears of a woman

little boy: why do you cry?
mother: because I am a woman
....little boy don't understand

mother hugs the little boy ans said...
mother: and you will never understand.

little boy: why does mommy cry?
father: all women cry easily for no reason.

... when little boy became and adult he asked GOD..
adult man: GOD, why do women cry so easily?
GOD answer:
When I created women, she needed to be special, I created her shoulder strong enough to bear the weight of the world.. and soft enough to give comfort..I gave her the strength to give life..the kind that accepts the rejection that often comes from children.. I gave the strength to allow her to go on when everybody else gives up. the kind that tales care of her family, despite illness and fatigue. I gave her the sensitivity to love her children unconditionally. Even when they have hurt her deeply. I gave her the strength to endure her husband in his faults. and to stay at his side without weakening and finally I gave her tears to shed whenever she needs them to be shed.
You see my son, the beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, nor is it in her face or in the way she does her hair.
The beauty of a woman resides in her eyes. It is the door to her heart, the door where love resides. And it is through her tears that you see her heart go by.

misinterpreted kindness

today, this is what i pray..

may the kindness that i am doing may not be misinterpreted..

many times when i showed kindness to people, i am judge and misinterpreted..

some thought maybe it is for a reason or for a purpose..

i am hurt.. but

i just kept telling myself it is between them and GOD if they will judge me that way..

as long as my intentions and motives are clear.. i am clear..

i always pray to GOD that and may my intentions be clear with what i do..

the feeling is like suffering for doing what is good..

then repeatedly i have to think that

what is forgiveness?

what is forgiveness?
a question i have been asking myself for the last few months. it is the process of accepting the damage that has been done and the reality of things cannot be changed. A stage in life where we learn and grow.

to go through pain is a struggle, and to go through forgiveness is also a struggle. who says to forgive is not as painful as to be hurt? it is. but, to forgive someone has a package of peace.
to forgive is a decision over emotion. it is forgetting the damage and fighting the memory of the past.

the past months, I've been thinking of forgiving a person who have caused me so much emotional pain and trouble. i can forgive him in my heart, for that is what I've been praying for, and that is the will of GOD. but of course reconciliation should be initiated by him, for he haven't repented and asked for forgiveness. in this situation, i can conclude that the level of pain comes from the level of love we had/have for a person.

last Sunday, Reverend Danny Reyes talked about forgiveness in pulpit. i have learned that when someone have done a bad thing to a person we can always thought of intelligent move/ways to make that person feel hard towards what he has done. like what David asked to Joab when he killed Abner, David asked Joab to mourn for Abner, and tore his clothes and wear sackcloth, where in fact Joab is rejoicing for Abner's death, can you imagine how difficult for it for Joab. another thing when people have cause us trouble or give us pain, we can pray for them and give the revenge in GOD's hand, GOD is just, HE knows our heart and HE knows the truth, HE has HIS own way, HE punished those who have done wicked things.

when we forgive, peace is with us, and GOD is happy. for HE HIMSELF is forgiving to those who repent. In the end, i can say that forgiveness is a gift, a gift of love. it is the love we can give to those who have sinned against us and underserving of forgiveness.