we fought

I have this friend, he is dear to me, he is born 1987, about 2 and half years younger to me. He is my mentor at toastmaster; the two of us really get along well. We have meeting of minds and we share lots of story about ourselves. He loves someone else but they are not they, and I, I think like someone and I also think I am still love with someone else.

Last 2 weeks ago, we just had a fight, we we’re talking about him to wait or not to the one he loves; we fought because of some misunderstanding of point. After 1 week and so, I think about 10 days we’re back again to our normal friendship… then just the next day, we fought again. Oh child! Like a child! hahaha but anyway our fight this time is more serious, it just so happened that I am so sensitive and he, he is so strong, he happened to raise his pride over me, which in turn upset me more.

So we got out issue all about the outing, for November 30, 2012, I really reserve the day for toastmaster people, but it just so happened that for some reason, he in favored of an activity that I don’t favored, and the way he favored on it doesn't seemed to be just fair or favorable to me, he also did lose some firm stand with his 1^st few words, that loses my respect towards him, then it lead him to decide in pride that hurts me so, then eventually he started to throw firing words to me, and me the 1^st step, run…. That lead him to self righteousness, he thinks that all he does is right, that he speaks the truth in love, and that he kept telling me that all he says and think is the truth. Then yesterday, I told him we need to have space, I wanted him to keep distance with our friendship, that I won’t tell him how I find things, that I will just let time to know when to tell him, since time is the best teacher, then eventually he again fire his words.. I felt so attacked that I also drops some words, like he is intelligent but not humble, that he decides in pride and pointed that he never understand my soft side. Whew! Sounded like we fought like a lover, but we’re not! And it ended up like a period because I really can’t handle such extreme emotion. And I cried the whole night that causes my eyes to be bulky and chubby this whole morning in church, that many seemed to notice.

Today, we met up together with some of ours toastmaster’s friends, I said hi to him, but ofcorse I treated him not the same. And afterward, after giving him a cold shoulder I felt bad. I texted him and told him that I really wanted to be a friend to him and how much I appreciate his existence, told him in order to save our friendship we both need space and keep distance with our friendship, because we could clash. He replied, and he agreed to what I message him, we both know that people who have a strong personality are people who are really weak, they become strong because they protect their heart and interest. He also told me not to read his past message, I agree and told him I won't, because I know that an angry person should not be listened to, because the words that they say are hurtful. I am not sure where the friendship will lead, but I know he is important to me now, he listens to me, he is there to listen to me. and I value my friendship to this person very much.