Psalm 31

Psalm 31
For the director of music. A psalm of David.
1 In you, O LORD, I have taken refuge;
let me never be put to shame;
deliver me in your righteousness.
2 Turn your ear to me,
come quickly to my rescue;
be my rock of refuge,
a strong fortress to save me.
3 Since you are my rock and my fortress,
for the sake of your name lead and guide me.
4 Free me from the trap that is set for me,
for you are my refuge.
5 Into your hands I commit my spirit;
redeem me, O LORD, the God of truth.
6 I hate those who cling to worthless idols;
I trust in the LORD.
7 I will be glad and rejoice in your love,
for you saw my affliction
and knew the anguish of my soul.
8 You have not handed me over to the enemy
but have set my feet in a spacious place.
9 Be merciful to me, O LORD, for I am in distress;
my eyes grow weak with sorrow,
my soul and my body with grief.
10 My life is consumed by anguish
and my years by groaning;
my strength fails because of my affliction,
and my bones grow weak.
11 Because of all my enemies,
I am the utter contempt of my neighbors;
I am a dread to my friends—
those who see me on the street flee from me.
12 I am forgotten by them as though I were dead;
I have become like broken pottery.
13 For I hear the slander of many;
there is terror on every side;
they conspire against me
and plot to take my life.
14 But I trust in you, O LORD;
I say, "You are my God."
15 My times are in your hands;
deliver me from my enemies
and from those who pursue me.
16 Let your face shine on your servant;
save me in your unfailing love.
17 Let me not be put to shame, O LORD,
for I have cried out to you;
but let the wicked be put to shame
and lie silent in the grave.
18 Let their lying lips be silenced,
for with pride and contempt
they speak arrogantly against the righteous.
19 How great is your goodness,
which you have stored up for those who fear you,
which you bestow in the sight of men
on those who take refuge in you.
20 In the shelter of your presence you hide them
from the intrigues of men;
in your dwelling you keep them safe
from accusing tongues.
21 Praise be to the LORD,
for he showed his wonderful love to me
when I was in a besieged city.
22 In my alarm I said,
"I am cut off from your sight!"
Yet you heard my cry for mercy
when I called to you for help.
23 Love the LORD, all his saints!
The LORD preserves the faithful,
but the proud he pays back in full.
24 Be strong and take heart,
all you who hope in the LORD.

--> amen to this ^_^
Have u ever felt the feeling when you’re reading the Bible (e.g. Psalm 31) that you feel like floating, so full of joy and peace and suddenly for no reason you’re trembling shaking crying and tears flowing? because you felt that you don’t deserve these, but GOD just rewarded you a moment of this and lets you feel the feeling because you trust HIM so much that you put you’re hope in HIM…even the future is unseen… ^_^ and you don’t know how thank HIM for how amazing HE is… ^_^

What to do until LOVE finds you – Michelle Mckinley Hammond poem # 3

I have watched
and waited
for my knight
to come riding over the hill
of my desires…
watching…
waiting…
to see him
dressed in white
upon a horse
big and strong
as his shoulders
where I will lay my head
as he carries me away
to the promised land
of dreams come true
and joy eternal…
watching…
waiting
peering from the window
of my fortress
my rock
my strong tower
with my heart in GOD’s hands
left there for safe keeping
I peek expectantly
Over my Father’s shoulder
Every now and then
Settling my back into the warmth of HIS lap
I watch…
I wait…
Trusting that my expectation
Will arrive
Beautifully
Resplendent
Covered in the dew
That falls from heaven
Being all that I hoped for
Better than I dreamed
Loving me
The way I want to be loved
Freely
Unconditionally
Adoring me
As if I were
The best thing since sliced bread…
You know
That when-a-man-loves-a-woman
How-Christ-loves-the-church kinda love
Too high
Too deep
For me to truly comprehend
But it sures sounds good to me…
So I watch
And I wait
Sometimes feeling like Rapunzel
Sometimes feeling like Sleeping Beauty…
Waiting…
Waiting
Sometimes conscious
Sometimes not
Hope keeping the light shining
Like a beacon in my eyes
Beckoning my knight
Should he lose his way
But for now
I lay content in the arms of my Saviour
Letting HIM rock me
And love me
Like no other lover can…
And I learn of love
Of life
And giving…
And I wait…
Cleared-eyed
With no misguided expectations
No desperate desires
No distorted views
Binding me
Marring my judgement
I am free
To say yes
To say no
According to the King’s leading
In spite of my flesh
Or my heart
Only a GOD-appointed knight
Will I receive
No matter how long the wait
I will wait…
I will wait for HIM…
I will wait for him
Who is willed by HIM…

What to do until LOVE finds you – Michelle Mckinley Hammond poem # 2

I am free
Free to love as never before
Throwing open
Windows and doors
Rejoicing in my wholeness
I see clearly
As I run with purpose
Choosing the right road
No longer stumbling
Over my own neediness
I move
Even paced
Head high
Shoulders back
Heart firmly in place
Making choices with my head
Ignoring the demands of the flesh
I stretch my spirit
And respond to GOD’s voice
Running eagerly
Toward HIS instruction
Caught up in HIS potent promises
I am bound to HIM
A willing love slave
Yet freer than I’ve even been
Finding the lost pieces of myself
I foolishly gave to others
Casting pearls before the swine
Once weeping
Over the trampled pieces of my heart
I am now restored to give again
To one more deserving
I discover I am
Lost in Him
Only to be found in the truth
Stronger than ever
Ready to love better
Because now I have more to give
And I will give
Carefully
Abundantly
And only at His leading
And in that understanding
I rest
I fly
I am free!

What to do until LOVE finds you – Michelle Mckinley Hammond poem # 1

I want a man
Not just any man
I want GOD’s man
Hand picked
Kingdom appointed
For such a woman as this

I’m looking for a love
Not just any love
I want the GOD kind of love
Filing a heart that beats
To the kingdom’s rhythm
Unadulterated
Holy Ghost saturated
The kinda love that
Can’t be rated
Poured out
Runnin’ ovah
Like water in a glass
Already full of good things
Smooth as a silk
Yet tough as rope
Wrapping around my soul
Keepin’ it all together
Forever
With room enough for me
To be
A woman
Not just any woman
GOD’s woman
Whole and free
To love you
The way I want you to love me
With a love
Not just any love
But the GOD kind of love
Rich as a sinful dessert
Pure as tried gold
The kind of love that can hold
Onto your hand
And GOD’s at the very same time
Delivered from all other ties that bind
And yes
I’m free enough to wait…
For a man
Not just any man
But the man
Who understands
And knows what love means
And lives what GOD says…
And wants what I want
A real love
A strong love
A tall love
Agape love.
GOD’s love.

Team Baguio Mission

Our team Baguio story, what an eye-opener and life experience..

We leave UECM December 20, 2009 around 11am then we arrived Baguio around 5pm, the group then packed the gifts for the kids and we contacted UECM workers to had our sack of donated jogging pants be delivered to us in Baguio soon haha
We then had our dinner with Pastor Demi Mier together with his wife.
Then the team had our 1st devotion with Dra. Jean. In their room, I notice a lot of food. ^_^

Mission day Day1: (Monday)
We wake up early on the 1st day of our trip, we have schedule in Ambiong, where we need to climb a mountain for 10-15 minutes to reach the day care center, where we will going to do our program with the muslim kids.. the road beside the hill is not so good but neither bad, it is about 1.5 to 2meters in width… when we reach the place, we can see that the kids belongs to the poor class… the kids enjoyed our team presentation, they also enjoyed the giveaways and prices, I can say that with these group of kids, the team 1st felt success in Christ name… one of the kids their sang the song “Who I am” by Casting Crowns, he sang it very well, he even memorized the whole song, my heart felt joy, for we can see GOD works with some of the kids there and that is the 1st time I felt how GOD works with the muslin kids.
In the afternoon around 2 to 3pm we went to SM to buy gifts for the sudden notice of exchange gift given to us by Pastor. That we’re going to have the evening in fellowship with some of the missionaries in Baguio and to some active volunteers at SNN. So by 330pm we arrive at SNN, 1st Pastor Demi Mier educate us about Muslim more and taught us how to befriend and evangelize them. We also had a question and answer set up with other volunteers and missionaries regarding Muslim. We spent the afternoon and evening in fellowship with them.
When we got back our base in Baguio ahia Jonathan lead in our devotional group meeting.

Mission day Day 2: (Tuesday)
On our 2nd day with our mission, we went to the Bry Irisan Cypress Village, the travel is not difficult, we don’t have to climb any mountain…there they also have their kinda day care center, but it is kinda small for the group so we had the lower garden to perform and to accommodate all the kids. Same class of kids, we again had our programs, giving of gifts which again the kids and parents enjoyed. In each and every programs and activity we had for them, we assure that we made them feel the spirit of Christmas and explain/share why/who do we celebrate it, for GOD’s glory.
In the afternoon the most unforgettable moment and learning I/we had, is our time/fellowship spent with Imam, or the Muslim priest at their Mosque. The group learned a lot about Muslim, if before we had this negative connotation about them, now I personally don’t, and I think same with my team mates. Instead I feel pity for them because they are near to the truth but the enemy have twisted the truth in them, like Imam, he knows the Bible very well, yet the Holy Spirit is not working in HIM, my heart is also feel wounded when he didn’t acknowledge Jesus Christ as saviour, I even ask him who would save you? He is really good in answering and twisting words. I can say that a person with a weak spiritual life and who are not very familiar with the words in the Bible would be converted to Islam hehe ^_^ the experience inside the Mosque, being with these Muslim is a treasure. If there is one thing I realize and learned about Muslim and then applied it in my life is their reason for fasting, well I don’t really agree with fasting per say, I didn’t also says that I am into their faith, because me personally I don’t believe with Mohammad, I asked Imam about fasting, then He explained it, I’ll just summarized it to this: It is their way to know how to control themselves in all the temptation of this world, including food, sexual practices and etc.. It’s for them to be holy. Then my glutton sin came to my senses. Which is I also know a long time ago, how I love eating and I always over eat myself. Also a realization that I am not glorifying GOD with my act, because sometimes when I am in my moment enjoying my eating, I am forgetting that it is from my Creator, I just get to indulge with it and enjoy its deliciousness and the satisfaction it is giving me. I fell so guilty I prayed and asked for forgiveness, and thank GOD. Since that day I kinda loose my big appetite and gluttony attitude. And I will continue to pray for it that in everything I do, eat or drink, it should be in the glory of GOD. (1Cor 10:31)
In the evening we had this prayer walk, where we will walk along Baguio, name the place, hehe well we divided ourselves into 3 groups and try to socialize with the Muslim we will meet along the way. So our group had the chance to talk with a Muslim silver jewelry vendor, I myself bought a cross earing as bridge of conversation. We ask questions and there is this one conversation that until now runs my mind. I said to the vendor, buti even Muslim kayo nag bebenta kayo ng cross… she answered me, binebenta lang yan..hindi sinasamba… so the thought came to me that this person mind is closed… she have her faith and I just prayed for her that someday she will come to know the truth.
Then we again got back in our base, there ahia Elliott shared something about worry in our devotion group.

Mission day Day 3: (Wednesday)
This 3rd day was the most tiring day of all, we again proceeded with our mission, in the morning we went to Crystal Cave outreach, same thing happen, we perform, gift giving and made them feel Christmas and its meaning, but here they have prepared a special performance for us, they also sang Christmas hymms and Christian song for us, which lightens our hearts. This group is supported by DECS, and here my heart was really touched, because I can really see how the teachers touched their students heart, they don’t just teach, they love and care, they are really after for the kids/teens welfare and studies. How I love this group. And here I keep on thanking GOD, thanking HIM over and over of how amazing HE is. HE is the best indeed. These group of kids even gave us creative cards, that we hope to show and share to UECM people if given the chance. They just gave me the color that really fits me pink and red with floral attached to it hehe how I love it. ^_^
In the afternoon we went to Pastor Demi Mier church in Bibak Bible Church, still in the process of construction, not yet fully-constructed, there we we’re able to interact with lots of little kids. Same activities happened. This is our last schedule so we consumed all the prices with the kids. I am surprise how Pastor did the clothes giving, he made a bazaar for the kids, all the clothes are aligned on the floor then the kids also are lined up. They will fit the clothes they choose/like and when it fits, it’s theirs hehe ^_^ ow how cute the scene hehe Here I felt a feeling of great thankfulness to our GOD, how HE works with Pastor Mier and his family. Hope we include them and their missions in our prayers so that they may continue to bring glory to GOD, and may they able to save more Muslim lives that are born with twisted faith.
We still got an hour to relax, some of us went to the market and buy some goodies, and some went to Burnham Park. After, we had our dinner with Pastor Demi Mier and his family together with achi Grace Co (Dra. Jean cousin), who also helped us/assist us with our stay in Baguio.
When we got back in our base, Mars did the sharing through prayer.

Departure day:
We left PBTS around 8am, we got 2 hours to travel around Baguio before our departure time, so we consume it with this time breakdown 30-40 minutes travel to Camp John Hay, 30-40 minutes stay there, we then went to Manor Hotel stayed there for 30-40minutes. After we are on the way home to Manila, then arrive Manila around 430pm safe and sound, with glad hearts and the take home experience. With full of Joy and thanksgiving for our GOD the Father, who made all things possible.

for 2 weeks, ive been thinking of this... what if GOD is infront of me..what will I do??

hmmm... as in totoo si GOD sa harap ko ah physically or spriritually pag sa Heaven ko siya nakita... I think i won't look at HIM straight in the eyes... hindi ko kaya.. Im such a great sinner, HE knows me very well...wala me "K" to look at HIM..Iam not worthy...shame on me...who am I to see GOD's face..unless HE permits me too... ^_^ Iam only MJ Lee..no power, no authority, Iam not the creator of any..Iam just a creation...^_^I will bow down..super down.. as in if pwede i-flat sarili ko sa ground.. I will...because Im such a slave,Iam only HIS servant... If ever HE will stepped on me.. its okey.. for Iam nothing without HIM...so totally I will humble down myself...I will cry..mahihiya ako kay GOD... because I will feel so guilty... of so many many things... cry for forgiveness...HE knows all my sin, my life diba? as in... I will also cry to begged.. and cry to plead...para ma-forgive niya...I will serve HIM to the highest degree with all my heart and joy... as in... HE is my BIG BOSS.. the ONE and only...I will kiss HIS feet..It'll be an honor if I can do that...I will do all the things HE wants me to do.....

i think i cant face GOD if Iam not saved hehehe since Iam so I can... heheheand remember we are HIS children, we are not angels... ^_^

i don't want to boast about anything.. because all i want is to totally humble myself infront of GOD... here.. and there ^_^

my Faith for GOD is more of LOVE... HIS love for me and my love for HIM.. how I love to serve HIM ang everything for HIM, and humble myself for HIM... my faith is not because of rewards.. for me these rewards are bonus.. bonus.. bonus... thanks ^_^


~ December 01, 2009

GOD is such a great GOD indeed.. I couldn't as for more ^_^

James 4;7-10 Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Come near to God and he will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. Grieve, mourn and wail. Change your laughter to mourning and your joy to gloom. Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up. ^_^


this verse is so apply to me.... yesterday, last night tears went down my eyes, my heart is full of worry and fears, I seek the LORD, and HE seems mad at me because I failed to trust HIM on these thing, when I have always put all things/my life in HIS hand.. these thing is my struggle for a long time, but you know what? even if GOD is mad at me ... and didnt talked to me that long, because HE is offended by me, HE took the worry and fears away, and gave me peace, a peaceful heart, He gave me rest, then after HE gave me an earthly friend... ^_^ HE is so amazing and great indeed, my heart is overjoyed... ^_^ Praise the LORD... HE is loving indeed ^_^ I couldn't as for more ^_^

for 2 weeks, ive been thinking of this... what if GOD is infront of me..what will I do??

hmmm... as in totoo si GOD sa harap ko ah physically or spriritually pag sa Heaven ko siya nakita... I think I won't look at HIM straight in the eyes... hindi ko kaya.. Im such a great sinner, HE knows me very well...wala me "K" to look at HIM..Iam not worthy...shame on me...who am I to see GOD's face..unless HE permits me too... ^_^ Iam only MJ Lee..no power, no authority, Iam not the creator of any..Iam just a creation...^_^I will bow down..super down.. as in if pwede i-flat sarili ko sa ground.. I will...because Im such a slave,Iam only HIS servant... If ever HE will stepped on me.. its okey.. for Iam nothing without HIM...so totally I will humble down myself...I will cry..mahihiya ako kay GOD... because I will feel so guilty... of so many many things... cry for forgiveness...HE knows all my sin, my life diba? as in... I will also cry to begged.. and cry to plead...para ma-forgive niya...I will serve HIM to the highest degree with all my heart and joy... as in... HE is my BIG BOSS.. the ONE and only...I will kiss HIS feet..It'll be an honor if I can do that...I will do all the things HE wants me to do...... my life? I don't need my life... all I need is HIM...Im sure there are lots of amazing things not a human mind can imagine... with GOD, about GOD and in Heaven...wala lang napa isip lang ako...may nalimot pa ba ako?? hmmmm ^_^ kaw naisip mo na din ba??

In my dream he attacks again, he wants mom, but I know he just wants to shaken my Faith

I dreamt this between 2am to 359am....

I was in a very big house, It was old, and have lots of rooms inside…
There is this one room that seems to be special that I never tried to enter…
In my dreams mama seems to always talk with someone I can’t see, and she always insist na andun daw… she always says “sabi niya (ganun ganyan).. kaya kelangan ko….” So in my dreams I was confused who she talks too… there, Im trying to understand her…more and more…
A group of young people went to our house… they are friends of my shobe daw… they point to the mysterious room, they said there’s something evil inside…they want to explore it but they didn’t went inside… (just a typical teenager’s kakulitan)
After I went to a certain room.. there some teenagers,they are having a Bible study, so I find them doing a good thing so I didn’t bother to disturb them….
In my dream it was every night that my mom used to go out daw.. went somewhere and end up to that room inside the big old house.. kinda magulo but ganun…after she would always request everyone or anyone to just simply leave her there so inshort mag papa hatid lang siya, she was inlove with the guy inside the room that she usually talks to..she follows all his words… all…(she was possessed in a way)
I requested mama to introduce to me who is tha , but she said that he doesn’t want… so I insisted, but nothing happen
Mama in my dream would usually enter the room and ask grand ma (na usually nag hahatid daw sakanya sa room na yun) to leave her… and after the next day she would simply go back home or you will just see her lying asleep in the sala, knowing nothing, empty minded from what happen the last night, and in my dream it repeatedly happening everyday…
One time, I walked mama to the room, as I said it’s a long way to there, we even need to go out of the house to arrive to the room, but the room was just inside the house where we stay and that is also the house that we use to leave (basta dun din kami umaalis )… ako nag hatid kay mama kase I got curious sana nangyayari sakanya daw and start to mag duda…kase my mom is always empty minded…
There napatunayan ko it is the devils work… he wants mom… I never get the chance to enter the room.. also I don’t want… and he don't allow me to enter...
After, in my dream I start to think of how would I, could I save mama, and stop these things… I start thinking whether to say this to Boksu Reyes or not… then, I interviewed my grand ma about my mom.. along the way I saw Boksu, so I went to him and start to tell him everything… he believed me after proving it with himself…
I can’t remember all.. but all I can remember now is that Boksu asked me to pray… pray and pray…
Also in my dream I told Boksu that GOD answered my prayer very fast kase I was just thinking of telling him when I saw him, just in time…I said..
Then one night, again, my mom is again on her way to that room, I grabbed her and hugged her, and told the one inside that room that he can never have my mom.. I make bitbit my mom… (you know sa dream anything is possible hahaha)
The guy voice… in my dreams he sounded as someone familiar, naririnig ko siya but I never really got to understand what he says… recalling it now ah… he seems to be always talking lang…
Anyway, syempre he got mad, he have this powerful voice daw, he controls my mom daw, when you see my mom’s eyes turn green/ blue, that I can’t sure, she is being controlled daw… but my mom can’t do nothing because Iam grabbing her, there is Boksu too..walking with me while bitbit ko si mama, we we’re four actually kasama din namin si grand ma…
Then there is this force na humihila kay mama.. si grand ma she was also possessed, her eyes turns green / blue bay un… also Boksu is possessed…they are possessed to get my mom from me and returned it to him…so that time I went to a room na may table I hugged my mom… and prayed..and remembered how Boksu taught me to pray in situation like this..I prayed like this…
GOD, the Father of Abraham, the creator of Adam and Eve, the Father of Moses… the Father of Noah… I ask for YOU’re help, I love YOU GOD, and I love my mother and ayaw ko siya ibigay sakanya… pls save me and my mom…
Then nawala daw yung evil force na humihila kay mama from me… bigla daw dumating si Boksu and my grand ma.. they are normal again.. then I tell Boksu what happened and what I did and said in prayers and praise GOD… kase diba he is not aware na kase he was also possessed….
Then after I can feel the evil force is so angry and coming towards us, towards me.. in my dreams... I can feel he is becoming near.. by the force and the voice… so I hurriedly ask Boksu what to do.. kase we are aware na human lang din si Boksu and can be possessed again for I don’t know reason and why ako, Iam not possessed??
So that time, me and Boksu prayed together while I was standing na hugging my mom… I prayed like this…
GOD, the Father of Abraham, the creator of Adam and Eve, the Father of Moses… the Father of Noah… I ask for YOU’re help, I love YOU GOD, and I love my mother.. please help me.. You do not forsake… Iam YOU’re child.. and so as my mom…she is YOU’re child too…
Then there is silent… that time my eyes are close and and Iam not hearing Boksu voice na.. so in my dreams I thought that he might also again possessed… I was standing relying on GOD while hugging my mom…where I felt he is near.. so near… 1meter away from me.. then after closer.. then he whisper me something… which I can’t remember… In my dreams I planned to open my eyes.. in my heart I prayed to GOD to prepare what sight I will see when I open my eyes… so Im praying to ready myself not to be frightened to see satan face to face…not to feel fear seeing him because I have GOD in me…
When I open my eyes…
Then gsing na ako..reality na… upon waking up, It feels and seems so real, so real, na yung time that he whisper to me.. parang sa actual niya ginawa yun sa dream.. gets? well…after I thank GOD for not forsaking me again and again im my dreams, that HE is so powerful and loving to protect me even in my dreams, whenevver I call HIS name…
.. Satan always enters my dreams.... dun lang niya ako kaya attack...

Burden

The feeling is different if you know what’s your burden, what GOD has planned for you. Who you would be, what role you would do in this life to glorify HIM… sometimes it is something you do before, you are before, but we know that nothing is permanent in this World that you happen to change and now you’re not into it, before your reason is for your own, now if you know that it is GOD’s burden for you, if its GOD’s calling, the burden is like a purpose and a duty that GOD called you to do for HIS glory. You’re going to do it not for you’re sake but for other’s, a very unselfish task and service.

This burden seems to be hard, now I understand how difficult it is to know you’re burden, it is totally going to a direction in life that you didn’t planned, but HE did. Before I already got the sense maybe that is my calling but.. I ignore it many times for I don’t want it, but last night upon analyzing, finalizing, realizing that I already know it I wanted to kneel down and cry, cry for help and asked why… because it seems to be hard and impossible, it is a life that I have already turned my back on. It is really hard, even if before I was once on that path. But I remember GOD and HIS Words, that if it is GOD’s will it won’t be that hard at all, He will lead, direct and guide me, and nothing is impossible for I have HIM. And if ever that I’ll have a difficult life because of fulfilling what HE has called me, it is okey, I’ll bear the pain and hardship because if it is for GOD, it is all worth it c”,)

Maybe guys, you are wondering how did I came to know what is GOD’s planned for me, it just happen that my heart cries every time I feel so helpless with the situation, feeling the chorus part in the song of Hosanna, more and more penetrating my senses (Clear my heart and make it clean, open up my eyes to the things unseen, Show me how to love like you have love me, Break my heart for what breaks yours, Everything Iam is for your kingdoms cause), so helpless that why can’t I do something so that this won’t happen, this and that, and now its clear, that I felt this because HE wants me to do something about this… then I asked how and why, then HE give me the answer… and that is now my calling c”,) I will just pray for HIM (and guys hope you pray for me to…) that may GOD be with me in this task, so that I will be able to do it, in me bestest, for HIS glory. c”,)

I always believe that a powerful warrior needs a battalion of prayers c”,) Do YOU agree??? hehehe

sorry for some, i intentionally didn't specify yung GOD's calling for me... i want it to be between me and GOD.. Iam also a private person hahaha its kinda not obvious lang hehehe

In my dream, I was again attacked by him

In my dream, I was with a friend, she is touring me in Davao, dumaan kami sa mga houses sa Davao, it’s a hotel daw? Parang tourist rent spaces na houses or commercial houses, where there are no much commercial spaces tenants purus residential tenants lang, so madami talagang vancant, nadaanan namin madaming Chinese na nag aalay…nag ooffer ng mga thanks giving nila sa mga patay and saints, then pumasok kami sa isang house, there was my family, nag aalay, not much food compare sa neighbour na andun at nag aalay din, hindi siya full ng mga alay na food, but full siya ng mga incense and pang alay na mga parng amulets and figures, I sat and watch and tell my mom na mali yun, then sabi niya na I should do etong pag aalay kase eto ang tama, ma-blebless daw me and ma-gigive ang mga dreams and wants ko.. I said no.. after a while may kinuha me isang red na square na pang alay ata yun with a chinese charater on it, all I have to do is kinda light it ata or just place it near the wall para mag start na siya, at first sabi ko daw ok im just going to light it lang naman kaya walang masama, but yung motive ng heart ko is to have the blessings na sinasabi ng mom ko, to have all the things I want to have.. then nung palapit na ako sa wall where ilalagay ko yun, bigla ko naisip na mali pa din yun, im not glorifying GOD, and what a shame for me to do this just to have worldly blessings here on earth, so tinapon ko siya, yung red na square, my mom said why? sabay sabi ko I won’t do this, mali eto, then dun na nag start lahat… bigla umusok yung red na square parang incense siya, then may nagalit sakin, si satan yun, medyo magulo na yung mga nangyayari, ang bilis ng mga pangyayari, yung place masyadong smoky na, and naririnig ko siya nag sasalita sa dream ko that time galit nag galit sakin si satan, family ko were there pero wala sila ginagawa they watch me lang how satan attacked me, madami akong pain physically na-feel sa dream ko kase galit siya sakin sa ginawa ko, but I can’t remember na now mga ginawa niya, all the time one thing im sure I keep on calling the name of GOD.. satan seems to appear in all places sa dream ko… sa lahat.. even sa screen ng laptop… it was really scary, but by this time unlike sa other dreams ko, I can’t remember the face of him, then I saw a mini portal sa wall… una sabi ko k mama mukhang portal yun to his side, then eventually lumalaki yung portal, para siyang isang hole na tumatagos yung hands ko.. so I prayed….i keep on praying praying….then bigla andun yung aunt ko,my mom youngest sister, she was sitting on the floor na mukhang kaka anak lang, then I saw a baby near the portal na that time e palaki palang, andun banda nakaupo aunt ko, then sabi ko paano nag ka baby dito, then nasa parang cacha clothe siya o sako, then ginawa I lifted the baby along with the clothe, I didn’t even touched his flesh, then I threw him back sa portal sabi ko there you belong son of satan, sa loob ng portal nasilip ko, para siyang kakaiba, para siyang , old stadium na hindi mala Romans or Greek type stadium, I can remember it now but don’t know how to describe it, its dimmy but not super dark, but wala rin sunshine dun, parang yung stadium may malaking ring match na execution hall…??? Anyway, kumuha ako ng tubig, then sabi ko hindi eto holy water but sabi ko mainit na yung portal at lumalki, alam mo ano istura ng wall, alam mo ang papel na nasusunog? Same ganun way nasusunog yung wall, hinagis ko yung water unti unti sa portal while praying, parang walang na nangyari, the whole time I just keep on praying, then yung aunt ko bumangon and hinahanap yung baby niya, sabi ko tinapon ko nga and my family din yun din ang sabi, sinugod niya ako, she grab me, super strong siya super lakas niya, sinasaktan niya ako, kaya niya ako i-lift and ang sakit ng mga kamay niya, ang tulis ng mga nails niya, malaki mata niya while telling me na bakit mo ginawa yun? Bakit mo hinagis dun? Alam mo ba kung gaano kahirap at katagal i-concieve nung baby na yun, I keep on explaining to her na the baby is not 100% human, hindi siya tao, and yun yung tama ibalik siya dun, then again I pray, I pray, I pray…binitawan na niya ako, then nakita ko yung wall nag start na bumalik sa normal lumiliit yung portal, then sabi ko how come? hindi naman holy water yung tinapon ko dun na water and I even ask my self, true ba na may holy water? Then , I realize sa dream ko na holy yung water kase Iam praying earnestly nung hinahagis ko yun, so kumuha again me ng tubig mas madami, then I started basain mga computers then tama nga nawawala si satan.. the house is full of smoke diba and mainit, para siyang nasususnog yung feeling inside pero walang fire, binasa ko ng binasa lahat sa loob ng house, until maging normal na again sa loob ng house, then I prayed again and I thank GOD na hindi niya ako iniwan and super powerful siya and im so sorry na muntik me maka gawa ng mali that time sa dream ko, I first thought of na this is just little mistake, wala naman masama if gawin ko din… but hindi ganun yun eh…
1Samuel 15:22 “Does the Lord delight in offering and sacrifices as much as in obeying the voice of the Lord? To obey is better that sacrifice, and to heed is better than the fat of rams.”
This is the only verse umiikot sa utak ko while im writing this….Im so thankful that GOD is with me in my dreams but so sorry that a part of me failed and that part of me did want or was tempted to have this earthly promises….but here I learned.

Ideal Guy

I thank GOD after knowing that HE wants me to get marry, HE also let me know what kind of a guy I should marry or look for hehe…. First he should have the zealousness of serving GOD, there’s a big difference between enjoying and wanting to serve and having the zealousness of serving GOD. Second he should be a good leader, a person who have wisdom and can decide wisely, with life goal and someone who have gained the respect of people around him. Third he and me should get along well, together grow and serve GOD, together would glorify GOD, and would compliment GOD’s will.

Celibacy

For a year I’ve been asking GOD if I have the gift of singleness also known as celibacy, quite long to fully know the answer. Along this time I am fighting the feelings I have of admiring guys, yet sometimes there also an absence of attraction for them. hehehe I find them ordinary and common… c”,) There are also times that I enjoy the company of my own, being alone wondering the mall, eating, shopping and doing everything by myself. There are signs that I can live life without partner, that having GOD is enough. So my love life has been completely idle for months, or more than a year? Haha actually until now, it is completely idle. That time, there are guys who planned to court me, who courted me, and stand by to court me, but none of them I entertained hehe so time passed they all got tired and left ( mostly non-believer )… not until this last May to June, for two months GOD keeps on answering my prayer in HIS ways regards to this and other prayers.. c”,) I won’t share the complete details how GOD answered my prayers. c”,) but it only lead to one answer that GOD wants me to go and multiply :p hehe to get married hehe c”,) well thank GOD that he answered me, because all the while I thought I have this gift, and I am enjoying everything by myself and planning of living life serving GOD alone and accepting that if it is HIS will for me not to get marry, well I am so willing to, who am I not to follow my boss order hehehe truly I thank GOD everytime HE answers prayer c”,)

Serving GOD, serving More

Last May, after the young pro retreat we had at Tagaytay Highlands, after few days I realized that it is only GOD, who can truly accept and love me for who I am, only HIM, and no other. Knowing all HIS words, all HE has given me, and all the Love HE has shown me, making HIM my all is what I am supposed to do. Serving HIM is one thing I really love to do, actually it is still not enough, because all the much I can do for HIM, I should. Anything for GOD, I should. And now I am so committed of serving HIM, and I thank GOD for that, for making me realized things more. And I pray that this will grow more, not the opposite c”,)

I was born to serve

One beautiful morning about two weeks ago, I and my mom were having breakfast together while having a chat; we were like updating each other, then we come up with spiritual topic. My mom is a Buddhist Catholic believer. When I am sharing my faith with her, my beliefs and telling her how much I am so born to serve GOD, she smiled and said to me, “You know what, when I was conceiving you, I talked to GOD, and prayed that I want this first child of mine to be a Nun.. to serve you with all her heart..” Then my heart was delighted and filled with joy, telling my self, so now I know… I may not become a Nun because I am not a Catholic believer, but I still have this great passion and faith of serving my one mighty GOD… isn’t it great? c”,)

Part of me feels like this :|

I don’t know but for 3 days, part of me feels like Lost? Confused? Sad? I don’t know…
Feels like I have a problem but I can’t determine what specifically, part of me is scared, part of me is hurt… there’s a mixed emotion which I don’t know where did these came from…. And how did these occur… and what cause these… so right now I feel so guilty, guilty that I am so in love with GOD yet I feel these trash stuff… which don’t glorify him at all…. I just hope that tomorrow... everything will be alright… and I think I have to pray for these… c”,)

I cannot hurt her more….

How can I tell my friend not to marry her non-believer boyfriend, when she is so inlove and currently having difficulties with their personal circumstances, and they are in the process of resolving everything, because they are so inlove with each other. The wedding is near if permitted, but other friends are telling me, that it is my responsibility to rebuke her, its hard, know why, last year they have done that to me, repeatedly convincing me to rebuke her, so last year I did, but what happen is that her boyfriend ended up texting me foul words and hard words, it turns out my friend even sided with her boyfriend, so again one of our friends suggested me to totally layuan my best friend, I did, we had a cold war, but you know what happen next, that time I find it left behind with the situation, this friends who convince me to rebuke her are totally not affected with the situation. And thank GOD also because after 2-3 months of not talking with my friend and missing her we both got back. Then I told her that im not going to make pake-alam na their relationship, so here the situation go again, a friend again is giving me the responsibility to rebuke her, for days I was bothered and keep on thinking, I decided not to do it again, especially right now na I know marami siya/sila pinag daraanan, just the thought na pag sinabi ko all sakanya, masasaktan siya, nasasaktan na ako.. so I decided na not to, I believe she is matured enough and with enough wisdom to know what’s right and not, what’s GOD’s will and not, what’s GOD’s words and not, I defended sa friend namin na if gusto niya since alam niya, he rebuke her instead kase iam not going to do it na again, so sabi ko hindi ko kaya. And if ever GOD really permitted their marriage, well I think it is still in GOD’s plan and GOD’s will, I believe every thing happen for a reason and that reason we don’t know, and only GOD knows. c”,) so i'll pray for her/them and let GOD do the work c",) also I will ask GOD for forgiveness if this is a sin c",)

Charles Ross Weede compared the achievement of Alexander, the Greek emperor, with the Lord Jesus Christ in his poem:

Charles Ross Weede compared the achievement of Alexander, the Greek emperor, with the Lord Jesus Christ in his poem:

Jesus and Alexander died at thirty three,
One lived and died for self, one died for you and me.
The Greek died on the throne, the Jew died on a cross,
One’s life a triumph seemed, the other but a loss.
One led vast armies forth, the other walked alone;
One shed a whole world’s blood, the other gave His own,
One won the world in life and lost it all in death,
The other lost His life to win the whole world’s faith.

Jesus and Alexander died at thirty three,
One died in Babylon and one in Calvary.
One gained all for self, and one Himself He gave,
One conquered every throne, the other every grave.
One won all the earth to lose all earth and heaven,
The other gave up all that all to Him be given.
The Greek forever died, the Jew forever lives,
He loses all who only gets, and wins all who truly gives.

***Alexander won the whole world in life and conquered every throne.
***Jesus said “My Kingdom is not of this world” John 18:36.

In my dream, I was again attacked….

Dreams??? What is a dream? For others or it was define as just a human psychology of images that travel through our unconscious mind. But for me.. Sometimes its more than that.
The story begins here… I was a very busy person and I met a group of people who wanted to explore or experiment with meditation… at first we we’re only 3 or 4 inside that car.. But eventually the number grew, I happen just to join the ride without the intention of joining their experiments but it seems like I was also with the group the entire story, I also don’t know how I came to be with them and be inside the car. The group was into road trip and actively joining the road trip working adventure.. its like working on a daily basis and be employed where they happen to stop, no permanent employment. The first meditation they did is in a room where there is only light but no air or fan.. the walls are all wood.. the group started to sweat.. the next day the group agen start another meditation where we were like inside a comfort room and there is a table ad we will stand there and meditate, here the room was all made up of glass. The third day , the meditation is like playing and laughing, here my friend Ryan Chuacokiong was in the group.. I ask him what he is doing there but he just lied on the floor and meditate… after I was with a girl friend.. Forgot who but we were like in a restaurant on top of a hill… where there is fresh air n good ambiance but that time I cant see any view.. There I saw my 3rd ex friends, his friends in st. benilde, I saw them in group waiting for some more friends to arrive.. it was a familiar scenario, and in my dream I can tell, its lie a blast in the past in my dream, its like parang “ I was also here the time na they we’re also here na hindi pa kami, or the time na before I met him, so he arrive with a familiar face, familiar clothes and familiar place.. so they didn’t recognize me kase in reality daw that time we haven’t met, I just don’t know how and why I came to that point of time, so that time I kinda feel something, the want of peace, to make peace with him, there comes a very super duper handsome guy, he holds time and predicts time, at first siyempre I didn’t know, so he approach me and without a word, he did something for mike to know me that time, for him to adjust the memory into the future and make everything in the future of that time be visible to him, so mike recognizes me na and everything that happened, the handsome guy, make a way for the friends of mike to leave so that mike and me can talk and be at peace. So it did happened, mike knew the handsome guy for a long time na daw and so… so after he leave after the hand shake… and I was so happy that time and told him that at last I can now move on and its like an answered prayer to be peace with him… the handsome guy approach me once again and he started telling me of his capabilities, he is not so superior but he has a power, he can move to time, he can see the future, then the thing he told me, “that I am about to die, soon, coz ill be having a brain tumor.“ he even touch my head at the back and made me feel how it hurts pala and advices me to see a doctor and have it check and operated soon. So we went separate ways then I was with Claudette Guevarra na… She saw all what had happened, she kinda believe but didn’t get that affected the way I did, but she brought lots of fliers with her and brought it to me, she keeps telling me that that guy was very famous and and expert in that field. So we also went talking about the brain tumor, she advised me to check with a doctor to check, and had it operated soon, so I was worried that time… I was worried of my life, the operation, the expenses and who and how to see a good doctor for me to survive this… so we went to an old hospital where there is only one elevator, a very old yet fast elevator, so the doctor clinic was on the 10th floor, but the doctor wasn’t there, then a janitor advice us to go to the 6th floor where people where there, so I and Claudette went there and entering 6th floor, there is a garden a very relaxing place to be, but almost everyone in their own group are so relax.. They are all sited and meditating.. not even one, dare to approach or dare to look at us.. the thought we we’re asking them where is the doctor… then this handsome man came to me again and approach me, he said that I should really see the doctor because my time of dying is becoming near.. so again I was so worried and terrified, he offered me a prediction, that time I was given the chance to say no unlike the first time he speaks to me, I immediately answered him with a no and I am not interested, for it is not good to listen to him because I am becoming more worried and crying everytime he said this tom me and it is not my believe to listen with his prediction. And I said to him, GOD is in control and even if I am dying of this sickness even if it sounds impossible to an ordinary human to let this sickness be gone without an operation, there is nothing impossible with GOD if I pray, and ask him to heal me, if I am not healed maybe it is his will, so I quickly get rid of his site and drag Claudette to the elevator to leave the place… when we saw Kenneth Tolentino and also drag him in a hurry to leave the place… and told them that I want to see boksu and tell boksu Danny Reyes everything that had happened. I saw Remington inside the elevator and ride alone and went down, I didn’t got the chance to call him and say stop. The elevator is gone, yet there is an elevator opening, so I convince Claudette and Kenneth to jump than to be on that place with that guy. They said we will die, I told them no just pray and have faith when we jump, so we jump and by surprise we we’re alive when we reach the ground, because Kenneth has a strong faith which helps us survive. Then it was again the 6th floor. We we’re back again to that floor with a different image, then there is no door for us to pass to the safer ground coz if not we’ll be trap on that open space elevator, so wee decided to punch kick and destroy the wall, then we saw light again and human, but still there is an imaginary wall that we cannot pass through immediately so I told them we can pass through here its all in faith, then we we’re able to enter. I saw boksu right away, but he was leaving and approaching to an elevator to the balcony of this 6th floor, then I saw him na sa balcony.i was calling him, yet he is not answering my shout. Not looking at me. Then on my left side balcony I saw Ryan Ching, then on my right side ground was Ryan Chuacokiong, I told them that I need to talk to boksu and ask for help.. then boksu approach me, then he talk to me, I forgot how did he talk to me but that time, I felt that it wasn’t boksu that I should not trust that man I am talking to, then he himself revealed that he was not really boksu, he is the handsome man, he again transformed and laughing and wanted revenge on me. He keeps on talking and talking and I cant remember in what he is saying to me because that time I was so busy ignoring him by asking this fellow friends of mine to help me pray and fight this guy, the face of the handsome guy is transforming fast of an unexplainable sight, its like a monster that I cant remember how to describe then be back again to boksu face then again back to his handsome face. Then I said that I wont be afraid of him and fight him, so I and the fellows pray, then he really swing flying towards me yet not the chance of hurting me and really come near me, then I don’t know he just became a small stuff toy… I grab the stuff toy, if I am not mistaken I can remember that it was a dog or bear stuff toy and began hurting it to kill it but it was lifeless, then a voice in my thought said that I will come back… then I woke up… Again can’t believe that it does happen again. He again attacked me in my dreams. Then I pray to GOD that even in my dreams he hears my prayers. After I touch me back head to touch if it hurts the same hurt I felt in my dream… but it doesn’t hurt.. but the feeling of touching my head feels the same, I mean the bone structured that I touched is the same bone structure that I felt when I touch my head in my dreams.
Really I know a lot of people wont agree or believe with my dreams when I say that it is really the evil who I have encountered, I can still say that it is really possible because the time I slept before I dreamed I was worried and guilty, so maybe he had a foothold of worrying in me that is why he was able to attack me again. Which is clearly stated in the bible that; do not worry, for worry is a sin. (Matthew 6:25-34) We also are aware that GOD doesn’t speak in dream anymore so there is no hidden meaning or any translation needed. (Daniel 7:15-28)

Commuter Christian

One thing good about commuting is that one tend to see the real world. See pag nag commute ka naglalakad ka, nakaka langhap ka ng pollution maduming hangin ang alikabok, nasisikatan ka ng matinding init ng araw, at nakaka salubong mo ang mga taong average at poor. Well about sa pollution and maduming hangin magiging aware ka kung gaano na kadumi ang earth sa ginagawa ng tao. Sa matinding init ng araw, aware ka na sa global warming, na super abusive ng mga tao kaya yan nasira na ang nature na create ni GOD. How selfish and bad ng tao super sinner talaga. Kapal natin sa mga pinag gagawa natin sa creation ni GOD. Anyway sa mga nakaka salubong naman na tao, makikita mo how amazingly GOD created us, madami masamang tao sa daan na makaka salubong lalo na ditto sa Philippines, at alam natin lahat yun, but kahit gaano ka-dangerous, there is something good na nakita ko, kase may mga tao pa din na may malasakit sa kapwa nila, may malasakit sa mga strangers… hehe paano ko nasabi? Like for example, bukas zipper ko, bukas na buttons ng damit ko, naka-open yung bag ko or may nalaglag me na gamit, makikita mo na etong mga strangers na eto ang mag papansin at sasabihin sakin na ganyan yung bagay, diba after ang sarap ng feeling. Thank GOD. But still makaka encounter ka pa din ng taong masama na pag bukas yung buttons ng damit mo eh mag papa kaduling duling sa kaka silip, at kung bukas yung bag mo eh sasamantalahin, dudukutan ka pa… well still Thank GOD kase marunong tayo mag patawad sa mga nagkakasala satin. Sa pag lalakad ko madalas nag durugo ang heart ko, ang ibig ko sabihin madalas ako makakita ng mga situation o bagay bagay na kinakalungkot ko, like for example sa hayop muna tayo, madaming ligaw na pusa at aso, na gutom, pilay at madumi, wala lang… diba sabi ni GOD dapat natin i-rule sila and i-protect, but ano nangyayari.. may right din sila mabuhay. Nakaka sad talaga. But madami pa mas malala, pumunta naman tayo sa buhay tao. Madami ako nakikita sa daan na mga taong walang bahay. Na nag tiyatiyaga sa box na tulugan or sa mga daan. May iba nakita ko nakatira sa loob ng sidecar na ginawa ng bahay yung iba naman sa kariton. May ilang nakikita ko yung matatanda na inabanduna na ng mga pamilya nila, walang makain, disabled, madungis at namamalimos. May ilan naman nakikita ko mga batang lansangan, wala sa iskwelahan, no read no write, hindi nakaka kain ng 3 beses sa isang araw, malnourish ,may iba umaakyat ng jeep nag shine ng shoes para sa kapiranggot na coins, nag caroling, namamalimos, may ibang bata sa palengke sa gulang na 5 taon, tumutulong na bumuhat ng mga gulay, para may maitulong sa pamilya at may maipan tawid sa araw araw na gutom, isipin mo sa murang gulang marunong na sila sa mga ganyang bagay. May iba mag anak mong makikita sa daan, mag kaka samang nagugutom. Nakaka awa kung iisipin diba? Paminsan natatanong ko kay GOD bakit sila nagkaka ganito, bakit yung mga mayayaman at makapang yarihang mga tao na walang ginagawam parang hindi sila nakikita, pinapa bayaan lang ang gantong mga bagay, at parang kahit konying yaman nila hindi man lang maipamahagi sakanila,nag papakasasa pa sila, yung ibang mga pulitiko pa mismo ang nag nanakaw ng dapat na ay tinutulong sakanila, pero alam mo Thank GOD pa din ako, kase sinagot ako agad ni GOD, kase inallow ni GOD na makita ko lahat ng eto, binigyan me ni GOD ng purpose and goal sa life. And I feel so blessed. Eto ang kinaganda ng pag commute. Hope makita mo din yung ibig kong sabihin. C”,)

Kwento ng isang kaibigan… (true to life survivor)

May isa akong friend.. nag kwento siya sa akin ng isang karanasan sa buhay niya na masasabi ko na ang brave niya na tao at bilib ako sakanya sa napag daanan niya ang ganung pag subok ng buhay…minsan inakala ko sobra na at malala na ang mga pag subok sa buhay na pinag daraanan ko… pero nung tiningnan at pinakingan ko ng mabuti ang mundo.. napapahinto ako… at napapaisip at na-guguilty… napa ka blessed ko pala…dahil sa lahat ng sakit na pinag daraanan ko may natutunan ako… kaya nung huminto ako para mag isip.. napadasal ako..
“GOD, sorry, kung minsan naitanung ko sayo at hindi maintindihan ang mga pinagdaraan ko, sorry kung minsan noon nagalit ako sayo, sorry dahil nasaktan kita at naging makasarili ako… and most of all thank you dahil mahal mo ko at ibinigay mo sakin lahat ng eto… pinagpa-pray ko din po sana yung others na mas nangangailangan po ng tulong mo po.. listen to their prayers po… amen “
Eto ang kwento ng kaibigan ko… 20-21 years old siya noon… 2006, pumapasok siya sa college as normal student… that time… sumasakit lagi every morning yung tiyan niya.. sobra sakit lagi.. may ugali kase siya na pag may sakit siya hindi siya nag sasabi sa parents niya.. that time inisip niya na either empacho o kabag lang yun.. kase sasakit ng 1 hour tapus normal na the whole day almost everyday… then one day sa school.. nag special class siya one on one sa professor niya sa faculty rom… nag paalam siya mag comfort room sa pag aakalang natatae lang siya… then yung professor niya umalis din to go somewhere natagalan… pag punta niya sa banyo na nasa sulok sulok ng office room, sumakit tiyan na sa point na napaupo na siya sa sakit.. nahihilo siya at feeling hihimatayin sa sakit… pero tinapangan niya at inisip na lalabanan niya yung sakit.. hindi na siya maka lakad that time.. kaya napa upo nalang siya sa toilet bowl for one hour at nung naisip niya na kailangan na niya lumabas else walang makaka alam na andun siya full effort siya lumabas pag ka labas nakita siya ng professor niya na namumutla na at nanghihina.. pinupo siya pinaypayan, dinala sa clinic at pinainum ng gamot, then hinatid na siya ng mga friends niya sa house, pag dating sa house, tiniis pa din niya yung sakit til hindi na niya kaya nag sabi na siya sa parents niya at nag padala na sa hospital.. sa hospital dinala siya sa emergency room at dun sinuri at akala pa ng doctor na buntis siya.. nakipag talo pa siya sa doctor dahil wala siyang boy friend so paano mangyayari yun, ayaw pa niya mag give ng urine sa doctor to have the examination kase nga naiinis siya so nagtalo pa sila ng doctor til ihing ihi na siya naibigay na niya yung urine niya for the test, after lumabas negative nga, hindi buntis, so inakala ng mga doctor baka appendicitis na yun, so ni-start na yung operation, then nakita ng mga doctor na namamaga nga yung appendix niya.. but not because appendix ang prob.. but because kase nauusog na yung appendix niya at mga internal organs dahil sa may ovary niya may malaki ng bag of blood, so binuksan na ng mga doctor yung whole tiyan niya, pinapasok yung mom niya sa operating room at sinabihan kung ano yung situation at sinabi kung ano procedure gagawin, they agreed so okey na.. tinangal yung malaking bag of blood, hindi siya entirely nalinis ng mabuti kase may mga sticky something na blood na kumakapit.. so kinuha yung mga nakuha sa tiyan to have an examination again, so by this time 2 weeks staka daw makukuha ang result, pag gising niya gulat siya why ang laki nghiwa ng tiyan niya kung appendix lang naman yung ino-perate, so they explained everything to her, so after few days umuwi na siya to rest, after 2 weeks tumawag na nga yung doctor sa house nila at pinapunta yung mom niya sa hospital urgent and immediately. Then nung umuwi na yung mom niya from the hospital sabi “anak, kainin mo na lahat ng gusto mong kainin” then few days nakikita niya yung mom niya talking to their realtives umiiyak, mga relatives niya visiting her sa kanila then giving her all, til one day nalaman na nga niya yung truth about sa sakit niya, may chocolatesis siya o ovarian cancer siya…nasa family nila yung ganun sakit, genetics, imagine too young for cancer diba.. na-sad siya at first pero naisip niya kung papa apekto siya hindi din naman siya gagaling, she prayed deeply to GOD and just accepted the fact na ganun na nga… she fights to survive sa sakit na pinag daraanan niya, umiiyak siya pero hindi niya pinapakita sa family niya, instead pinapakita niya na malakas siya at masaya siya…thank GOD at nasa low stage palang yung sakit niya at curable pa naman pag nag chemotherapy siya or radiotherapy siya , so she under go the theraphy for 6 months, so far the result was good, gumaling siya, and now living a normal life….but may chance na bumalik yung sakit niya, remember as I’ve mentioned kanina hindi fully nalinis yung ovary niya nung blood sticky na nakuha sakanya, and its not advisable na ioperate siya again sabi ng mga doctor… and the fact na forever niya dadalhin yung fact na wala na siya ng chance na mag ka anak.. sad in a way, but still given the chance to extend her life is something to be grateful of.. kaya now she needs a guy na maintindihan situation niya na hindi na siya pwede pa mag ka anak..
See? How grateful should we be… dahil hindi natin naranasan yung naranasan niya…. Siya nga she did hold on to GOD pa… So kung feeling miserable ka.. think again there are others na mas pa ang pinag daraanan.. thanks for reading my blog… more stories to come… c”,)

My ideal guy and GOD’s guy for me

Well anyway noh.. kahit wala me plans mag ka howe o mag asawa may ideal guy pa din me.. hehe wala lang para may standard lang hehe someone na Christian as in matured and continnue growing Christian… pero super importante din ang looks.. he have to be tall, white, handsome sa mga mata ko ang huggable (ayaw ko sa mataba o payatot)… mabango ( ayaw ko sa may putok, gosh hindi me makahinga, mahilig pa naman me mang amoy ng kilikili hahaha), matalino, magaling, masipag at marunong sa life… dapat hindi siya boring kasama…hindi isip bata… okey lang maging righteous huwag lang boring dapat may fun at trill ang relationship.. kase that’s life with mj… full of color and excitement.. very spontaneous and adventurous na tao me so dapat match para perfect couple… so far sa nagyon wala pa kong nahahanap na ganyang guy, meron 3 times na ko nag ka howe, my “almost” ideal guy, kaso things didn’t work out but still okey lang we all had fun that’s what I call experience hehe hindi lagi nahahanap at nakakatuluyan natin ang ideal natin.. mahirap yun.. kase parang more utak na yung ginamit which kelangan din talaga gumamit ng puso hehe dapat may “love” importante… well siyempre kelangan physically attractive siya sa mga mata ko.. mahirap na ang hindi hehe baka every morning gigising me full of regrets hehe importante mahal at accept niya ako kung sino ako.. accept niya na ganito ako.. sweet, mabait, spontaneous, mataray, masayahin, masungit, moody, talented, sporty, active, masipag, antukin, mapag mahal, maalaga, matipid sobra (barat), matakaw (paminsan patay gutom, oh my buffet hehehe) , sexy ( daring sometimes, GOD’s gift hehehe), cutie pretty and sometimes gorgeous hehehehe, makulit, sobrang sensitive, maarte paminsan, matalino (feeling magaling sometimes), ayaw mag patalo (lalo na pag tama), accept niya family ko, accept niya past ko ( na may 3 ex na ko, hey no regrets mga yun and no one can change that), accept niya schedule ko ( especially time ko with GOD).. and so importante mag kasundo kami.. ako boss at siya ang alipin… ay joke..hehehe basta magka sundo.. yung tipong kahit mag away kami ng ilang beses… harmonious pa din kaming magbabati at magkakasundo pa din in the end… and we’ll love each other after every fight…saya! how sweet… hehe Last month lang, a friend nag kwento sakin about standard for girls ng isang guy na friend namin, na gusto nila sa girls na wala pang nagiging howe… after the conversation napa isip me sabi ko sa sarili ko, oo nga noh.. paano na nga ako kung lahat ng guys sa church ganun mag isip.. wala na ko magiging howe at maka pag asawa me na sure ako Christian o wala ng chance na magkasama pa me sa list ng mga guys sa church, well affected ako for ilang weeks kaya nawala me lalo ng gana mag ka howe o mag isip pa na makaka pag asawa pa me… well I just came to realize, nung pina realize sakin ng some friends ko na hindi ganun yun mj… DUH!!! So what!! Kung hindi ako kasama sa list nila kung sino man yung mga yun if ever hehehe.. kasama ba sila sa list ko? Feeling nila super gwapo nila para mamili? Well sorry mas pretty ako para mamili at hindi mawalan, unless ayawin ko na talaga ng mag asawa hahaha… actually its more like this.. if a person really loves me.. kahit 10 pa naging howe ko.. he’ll accept.. after all howe lang yun hindi anak noh.. hehe well applicable lang etong sinasabi ko sa guys na hindi ako kasama sa list nila dahil eto ang reason hehehe then, may ilang friends ako na sinabihan ako na super sensitive daw ako and guys don’t like that daw… DUH!! Again.. So what!! Walang masama sa pagiging sensitive ko.. siguro konti pag sumobra na yung reaksyons ko cause of that sensitivity but still part yun ng pagiging girl ko.. and I think sweet and thoughtful people ang mga sensitive na tao hehehe so kung ayaw ng guy sa isang sensitive na tulad ko… may mga guys diyan na gusto yun.. o iintidihin yun.. madami pa din guys diyan na mamahalin ang ugali kong sensitive hehehe after all walang perfect girl same walang perfect guy.. c”,) walang spice ang relationship kung dull ang relationship hehe another may issue din sa ibang friends ko na daring daw me mag suot ng damit.. well in my opinion that’s fine.. occasionally… hehe sometimes okey lang maging daring.. hehe to show some skin.. some.. not all pa naman hehe… that’s fashion.. and I would truly appreciate ang guy na maiintidihan yun.. I know my limitations naman eh noh!!! Hehehe anyway someday makaka tagpo din me again ng guy na magmamahal sakin.. na almost perfect and right for me.. hehe yung will sakin ni GOD hehe

KSP ako…

Totoo and aminado ako na KSP ako…kulang sa pansin at kulang sa pag mamahal ng magulang.. hehe pinapansin naman ako at mahal naman ako ng parents ko.. yun nga lang mas mahal at pinpansin lang yung dalawa kong kapatid.. maybe kase bunsong lalaki at babae… o kase ako yung panganay na babae.. o baka kase nasa isip ng parents ko na ako yung panganay kaya lagi ako dapat umintindi, mag pasensya at lahat kaya ko kase ako nga yung matanda.. mahirap in a way.. pero okey lang naman.. sanay na ko..hehe pwede ko sabihin na siguro nag selos nga ako sa mga kapatid ko which is masama… but hindi naman sobra kase masaya naman ako for them eh… hehe simula bata nakita ko yung treatment nila samin.. iba talaga. In many ways.. dumating sa point nung bata ako na kala ko ampon ako.. hinanap ko pa birth certificate ko at pinunit sa pag aakalang ampon ako.. pero impossible eh kase kamukha ko mama at papa ko.. pati mga birth mark nila mga nunal same same so paano me magigng ampon hehe hindi hindi ako mapag kakaila na anak hehe well, thank GOD and to my parents because of them eto ang face ko.. cutie mj hehe anyway sabihin natin umabot ako sa age na ganito.. parang kulang sa pag mamahal o baka sobrang pag mamahal lang ang need ko which nahati samin tatlo magkakapatid kaya kinapus yung needs ko.. hehe anyway til now 23 na ko mag 24 nag seselos pa din me sa treatment na pinapakita ng parents ko sa mga kapatid ko hehe kaya paminsan tahimik lang me.. sa labas with friends at sa house medyo iba me.. sa labas im so talkative at masayahin all the time.. ganun din naman sa house, but not all the time nga lang.. madalas tahimik lang me at tulog, matakaw kase me sa tulog hehe pag naiinis me o nag seselos o masama loob ko tahimik lang me pero pag sobra na at galit na ko maingay na me hehe paminsan na-open ko sa parents ko about sa na-feefeel ko… iiyak me sobra habang nag-oopen up, mag change sila for awhile pero balik uli sa dati hehe anyway ok lang sanay na.. my whole life everything na iniisip ko at ginagawa ko para sa family ko.. para sa parents ko para maging proud sila sakin.. before high school to college hindi nila me maintindihan.. kahit anong gawin ko mali pa din for them.. but nung gruma-duate na ko ng college at nag work na-appreciate na nila me, at nagging proud.. actually moody sila hehe minsan lang sila maging proud sakin.. pero that’s fine.. atleast kahit konti meron… pero since bata wala me ginawa kung di isipin ang parents ko at family ko.. at i-please sila or gawin and give everything for them na kaya ko.. paminsan nakaka hurt na hindi nila alam yung mga iniisip at ginagawa ko tapus i-judge nila me na bad… pero ok lang hehe maybe eto yung reason na bakit ako lagi nag kaka howe kase nag hahanap ako ng taong mag give sakin ng so much love.. na hindi ma-fill ng family ko… actually alam eto ng mga nagging ex boyfriends ko, yan din kase ang napansin nila hehe but na-relaize ko na hindi solusyon yun kaya ayaw ko na din mag enter sa relationship at partly napagod na din talga me kase lagging disastrous ang kwento ng lovelife ko hehe… Sa sobrang mahal ko family ko dumating sa point this last week of September and the whole month of October na ayaw ko na mag howe o mag asawa kase hindi ko gusto iwan o ayaw ko iwan parents ko kase may family problem kami na malaki.. sa totoo samin mag kaka patid ako mas may malasakit sa parents ko.. yung dalawang bunso.. mas wala.. pero sila pa din ang favorite at mahal.. but its okey.. hindi ko sinasabi eto dahil feeling ako o dahil ako yung nag kwekwento… but eto kase yung nakikita ko din from my siblings… but hindi ko sinasabi na hindi mahal ng mga kapatid ko parents namin, natural mahal din sobra.. c”,) Last 2006 kinausap ko shoti ko sabi ko pag nag asawa me siya na bahala sa parents namin.. siya ang bubuhay dahil siya ang nag iisang anak na lalaki at sakanya talaga mapupunta parents namin… sagot niya sakin… ayaw ko nga may mga kamay at paa sila.. bahala sila mabuhay… sinagot ko siya at and I explained.. so far nakita ko clear na sakanya ang mga bagay bagay… but still sa ngayon mukhang kung dati gusto gusto ko na mag asawa… ngayon ayaw ko na… hehe walang plan hehe well alam naman lahat ni GOD mga nangyayari sa life ko.. at alam din niya what’s best for me so bahala na siya hehe im always praying naman for HIS will for me eh… kahit ano gustuhin give and blessed sakin ni GOD I am more than happy to accept… HE is my strength and my LORD.. c”,)

Problema... ang hirap maging tao noh…

Kala mo ikaw lang ang may problema? Kala mo ikaw lang ang nahihirapan? Ako din noh.. alam mo ba yun? lahat tayo may problema at nahihirapan, lahat tayo eh umiiyak at nasasaktan… lahat ng tao may kanya kanyang malaking problema.. depende ang problema sa tao mismo.. sayo ang problema mo possible malaki pero para sakin baka wala lang yan.. o vice versa.. lahat tayo ay may pinag daraanan… depende kung paano mo dadalhin.. mali sabihin na quenu-question mo si GOD sa pinag daraanan mo ngayon.. sa ginagawa mong yan sa palagay mo ikaw lang ang nasasaktan?? Hindi!! Sinasaktan mo si GOD, aware ka ba dun? Kase mahal ka niya, kaya ka niya binibigayan ng problema, may gusto lang siya na matutunan mo… pero ang ginawa mo nagalit ka pa sakanya.. dapat magpasalamat ka pa sakanya kase binigyan ka niya ng pagsubok.. eto lang way ni GOD para turuan ka na leskyon sa buhay.. na para tumatag ka o someday magamit mo yung natutunan mo o ituro mo sa ibang tao ang natutunan mo… binibigyan ka din niya ng problema kase gusto niya lumapit ka sakanya at mas maging close kayo pero ano ginawa mo? Lumayo ka pa sakanya… kung wala kang problemang tao.. aba! E mag isip isip ka na? dahil baka hindi ka na kabilang sa planet earth hehehe anyway, nasa tao paano niya dadalhin ang problema… tandaan mo..normal lang yang sakit at hirap na pinag daraanan mo kahit pa sabihin mo bakit sayo lang nangyayari yan o bakit sayo pa.. o sana ibang problema nalang… well…lahat ng bagay may purpose alam mo naman yan.. na hindi pa nga lang nga natin alam sa ngayon, someday we’ll know and understand.. ang kaso lang ang problema huwag mong damdamin ng matagal.. wag mong isipin ng isipin.. iiyak o isipin mo lang ng isang bese o ng isang araw o minsan lang… pag nag paapekto ka hindi naman masusulusyunan ang problema mo eh.. lalaki pa hehe ituring mo lang ang problem na parang wala.. tapus darating time na maiisip mo “ay! May problema nga pala ako..hehe” tatawanan mo nalang kase hindi ka na apektado… tandaan mo lahat ng problema may solusyon… at kung sakali ang unang mong lalapiptan si GOD… siya all the time makikinig, siya ang unang makakatulong sayo, magdasal ka, magbasa ng bible para malaman mo ang sagot o ang gagawin… kung gusto mo pwede ka din lumapit sa mga kapamilya o kaibigan mo.. ok?? So don’t be sad na…ha? c”,)

In my thought it hurts, but not in my heart...

Well, I have this kwento… kase I have a client, she bought a unit na from me… and she wanted to be an agent kase madami siya gusto bentahan na friends.. this is not a usual case sa office.. kase usually ang client nag refer sa agent then after sa agent mapupunta yung benta.. so this client masasabi kong mahilig talaga kumita ng pera… which is not bad naman… walang masama…actually pwede din naman arrangement na pasok sa account ko benta then give ko sakanya commission.. which ayaw niya kase siguro walang full trust pa sakin, na give ko sakanya commission.. which hindi ko siya ma-blame.. hehe so me and my manager talk to her, but she insisted na gusto niya maging manager.. this client madami connection.. which is, naisip kong, if talagang pagpipilitan niya gusto niya…better mapunta nalang siya sa under sa manager ko.. which my manager will have all the benefits instead of me.. so I decided na din na ganun with my consent I agree.. kahit medyo sad.. medyo lang naman for an hour… naisip ko din kase na ayaw ko din naman na maging selfish na hindi me papayag sa ganoong arrangement.. na sila dalawa mag benefit at ako yung nawalan.. pero naisip ko din na better na dito sa 2nd manager ko mapunta yung benefits kaysa sa iba pa kung hindi din talaga sakin mapupunta, since he is a good person naman.. he is not greedy, a very hard working person din and a very mabait na anak.. kaya its okey hehe.. in my thought it hurts.. but not in my heart… nag swimming lang me... after an hour wala na sad thoughts… okey na.. wala na… hehe after all its just all about money and position… so if its not GOD’s will, its not… so I’ll just pray for his will.. hehe and still im thankful for everything hehe

I was born to love you…

Yes. I was born to love you… , gulat ka noh.. hehe siguro nung nakita mo yung title, napaisip ka bigla ano ba ibig sabihin ni mj at binasa mo na eto agad hehehe wala lang nalaman ko lang the past weeks my gift… my gift from GOD.. =D of course pinaka una I was born to love, praise and worship GOD. But yun nga.. I was also born.. with this gift of loving and caring… I am full of love inside me.. kaya pala before I always get into relationships because I have so much love and care to give… I love loving and caring, especially my love ones na minsan na-sosobrahan at nagiging mali hehe but eto na nga yung kwento.. I was before looking for someone to love.. parang feeling need of howe.. but mapaisip me.. medyo matagal tagal na isipan ah.. haha it takes months for me to realize… also hindi me basta basta din pumapasok sa isang relationship.. namimili pa ako sa lagay na yan.. dami choices eh hehehe joke.. anyway the past months I can’t find or should I say walang mr. right na lumalapit sakin.. so ano gagawin ko? Mag hanap at manligaw sa isang mr. right? Okey that’s a NO! NO!… that’s one thing I won’t ever do.. also super maingat na din me by this time, ayaw ko na ma-fall sa mali again.. hehe yeah im learning sa mga relationships… but also stupid ako pag 2 x ako nag kamali sa same thing diba.. if ever dapat ibang pagkakamali naman hehehe eh yun so sabi ko nga I have so much love… ano gagawin ko? Well eventually.. siyempre yung love ko kay GOD solid yun… etong human love and care ko ibang level… solid na pwede hatiin hehehe Oh well.. hehe so siyempre im loving and caring for my family… also giving love and care for my friends… chosen nga lang before… and now naisip ko na madami pa din inside me.. so nilabas ko nalang lahat ng love and care ko sa lahat ng tao.. I will just love and care for everyone that I have in my life hehe so after doing that I feel peace and lightness. Im not sure kung eto ba yung reason why parang may feeling of satisfaction me.. not 100% but big part sa level na… wala me iniisip na gusto ko mag karoon ng howe o relationship… parang kahit wala okey lang im happy with life and stuff.. hehe inshort wala me hinahanap hehehe yun lang =D mwah! To you reader…Hehe anyway lets see if babalik uli ako sa moment na feeling nag hahanap ng someone hehe

My bad... Im sorry...

Asking an apology to what we have done wrong, intentionally or not is a very brave thing to do.. It is a step of accepting that we are wrong, and we are sorry for the damage we have caused. The damages can be emotionally, physically, mentally, morally or combination. There are several levels of apology, which is easy to say and then after we don’t really care at all with the small matter. Asking an apology sincerely to a big matter isn’t just simple, it takes a long time to think things over and to finally realize, it is as hard as forgiving. When you ask for forgiveness, you lower your pride, you humble down yourself and you loose nothing. Instead you gain respect, relationship, peace, love and GOD. Sometimes asking an apology is better if it is right after, didn’t take that long to apologize. But remember that it is never too late to apologize, there no such thing as “too late” for an apology, because what are most important are the realization of the person and the acceptance of mistake, sometimes it took some other people to accept their faults or maybe GOD gave them situation to finally realize and accept. Sometimes GOD give situation for people to realize their fault by making them feel the feeling that they have once made other feels. There are people also who are numb to realize and see their faults, which I feel sorry for them. Accepting something we’ve done wrong is wisdom, because we learn. Also it is also important that when we ask for apology, is as good as a non-word promise of “I won’t do it again.” or “It won’t happen again”. A lot of people apologize to certain things over and over again but they keep on repeating. It is important to learn and change, not to learn and maintain and not change at all. Sadly there are people who apologize without heart and sincerity, just for the sake of peace. In my opinion that I think, when you know how to apologize you'll know how to forgive... And lastly when we know how to accept mistakes we know we have GOD in us, why? We also will know how to repent and ask for forgiveness of our sins to him… make sense huh?? hehe

The love of money is the root of all evil.... story two

This is my second story, I have a manager friend, he is my first manager when I start my work in a real estate company, he is a really good friend of mine, I enjoy the companionship with him as a friend and as a manager, he is kind and nice person, he take cares of his friend, like me when I am sick, he reminds me and gives me water every time, he is also a not so strict manager, he also find time to go out with his people and allows them to do whatever they want to do with their time, but it all turn out that you can only know the true color of a person if money is already involve… it started when our contract was renewed. an issue arises that he wanted me to share the half portion of my commission with him, for he will no longer will benefit from my sales, for before he was my manager and after the renewal of contract, I will be transferred to another manager who will then benefit if ever I’ll have sales. So he talk to me and ask me to made an arrangement with him, to divide my commission to 2, and give the other half to him, because if I didn’t do so, he said that he can get all my customers from me, for he have all the contact because he knew my customers because he is my former manager and he have all their contact numbers, he also thought of an arrangement for me not to be unfair daw, he thought na I should talk to my new manager and ask him to give me the .5 percent that this new manager will benefit from me to give to me, so in short he is already playing dirty, but that time I didn’t thought that he is already being bad to me, all I was thinking back then is that what he is saying is possible I got scared and threatened, I was so confused and troubled that time, an office mate approach me and ask what wrong, after hearing the story then she told me that its so unfair that how could a manager or friend like that do such thing to me, he said that what he did is bad, so many heard what happened some approached me and some I approached. They gave me solutions and made me understand more the situation, some even told me to file an ethic case against him, but as a friend I don’t want to worsen the situation, then came to the point that I had the solution and move on to it. This former manager of mine approached me, he ask foe forgiveness, because he already knew that people inside the office already knew what happened. I forgive him and stayed as normal friends. after the issue I was already hearing stories or situations of other salesman how this person always make sulot of their clients, sad that I cannot share their story here, I have respect their privacy, so I just shut up and pretended that I know nothing. Hearing stories from them, I didn’t defend this friend because inside me I know that he has the capabilities to do all the accusation I am hearing. One Monday , I am again hearing sulot sulot client stories inside the office, it always saddens me and stressed me every time I hear situations sa office na ganyan. I approached him as a friend and ask him, is this real fight here in our office? He said yes, (then now you can relate the story which I wrote in “my office is a dangerous battlefield…”). Then Tuesday came, a group mate of mine asked me, do you think it’s advisable to give our clients information to our manager, I said no, because someday you can never tell. You know what the issue with my clients is before. Then now I am caught up again in a situation with him which I cannot yet share here because I am still in need of evidences… but after everything I've decided not to do anything against this person, instead forgive and trust GOD everything.

Envy can kill

Are you aware that envy or jealousy can kill?? =D yeah.. it kills your soul, your moral, you integrity, your love, your mind and your faith. And in the end you’ll turn out weak and useless or worst you die. And are you aware that it is one of the seven deadly sins..?? yes, it is hehe
I have a friend umpisa palang talaga na-feel ko na na-nainggit siya sakin in many ways, nilayuan ko siya, naging cold me sakanya, kase harap harapan siya magsalita.. feeling niya inagawan ko siya ng friend, kinausap ko yung guy na nagtatampo na etong girl na eto, pag nag sasalita siya harap harapan tawa tawa lang me I am trying to understand her, one time we played badminton, I am not trying to compare with her sa outfit, but the way she sounded admirig my get up and criticizing her’s napaisip ako, wala mesinabi more, then may instance na nakabenta me at naka close ng 5 units, she loves her job, masipag siya super na tao and she deserves din makabenta, but maybe may ibang plan si GOD for her, and then diredirecho ilang days na nakakrating sakin ang pag ka envy niya from other people but in a way na hindi ganun ka-direct ang message, eh nagkataon nag tampo siya sa isang friend namin, eh that friend naka tampuhan ko din before, eh nung nag ka tampuhan kami binilhan me ng chef tony’s na popcorn nung mga freidn ko nun, eh siya nag ka tampuhan sila, e hindi siya nabigyan nag salita siya harapan again eh that time medyo short ang patience ko so naka pag salita me ng straight na ano ba prob niya? then she told me, then thank GOD that time huminahon me and tried to understand her again, I really can’t blame people to get envy of me.. but I don’t want them to, kase there’s nothing to envy about me, so I explained in GOD’s way and words. so it turns out okey naman, naintindihan naman niya and we ended up the day nice and happy, then after few days she told me that she is so bothered, that she really wants me to be her friend, that she wants to please me, I am really flattered, but napaisip me…
So I told her ok naman tayo, first you don’t have to please me, we live and created not to please people but to please GOD alone, glorify him and praise him. if people don’t appreciate you, so what you don’t live for them, you can loose them but you can never loose GOD, if its GOD’s will for us to be friends, we will, someday, time will come and darating yung situation na maging good friends din tayo, huwag pilitin, just pray for GOD about it… if sa tingin niya hindi ko siya ma-appreciate, then she must be affected, ano ba naman ang opinion na i-gigive ko saknaya o ng ibang tao sakanya at kung hindi ko siya ma-appreacite, hindi niya dapat problemahin, importante ang tingin sakanya ni GOD, ang dapat na importante niyang isipin na in everything she does is for the good and for GOD.. Thank GOD everyday for life is a gift and enjoy everyday and not to forget that worry is a sin and we should not, for we have GOD..
you know why ko ganyan sinabi bakit hindi din me nakipag super okey and friends sakanya that time, kase gusto ko na friends kami truthfully and real. someday… and ma-realize niya to stop ang habit?? maybe habit niya mag please ng tao… or para mas okey sa time na mas lessen na ang temptation sakanya mag envy..
so natuwa naman siya with what I told her, so he next day she is okey, until her last day sa office.. she wrote me a letter.. and I’ll summarize it nalang.. She repented that she envy me in many ways, and apologize for everything, she told me how much she appreciate me and wanted to be friend with me, and together grow in GOD… diba super nice…. hehe im so happy.. we communicate and exchange GOD’s words… Thank GOD c",) see how does GOD works?? galing noh... hehe

Please.....

The question is.. Is it okey to please people? The answer is absolutely no.. hehe why? people perish, family and friends are finite. They all soon leave and die. They didn’t create heaven and earth, they don’t have the power to save you from eternal death and separation from GOD, they don’t have the power to give eternal life.. These people knowledge and understanding are very limited and no compare to GOD, their forgiveness could also be limited unlike the forgiveness GOD has. And always fear GOD for HE can take away everything from you in a second, not a man can do, so who do you think you should be pleasing? Why please man diba? It is not bad to be good and show kindness to people, as man we should know how to respect others as a sign of knowing and loving GOD, because he commanded us to love one another. Do you want to know some humanly and logically explanation why we don’t need to please people?
First if you please, then these people will like you, but if you stop, they would also start not to like you.
Second, if these people love, like and true to you, even if you don’t please them they will continue to love, like and be true you.
Third, you won’t be happy to forever please people, there will come a time that you will get tired of doing that.
Fourth, it will hurt you a lot if the person you are trying to please didn’t appreciate you still, or have shown appreciation yet in the end leave you still.
Fifth, you will somehow somewhat expect a little return for all the pleasing you are showing, and sooner your expectations will go big. You might get to the point of being demanding and disappointed and end up ruining the relationship that you have just established or founded.
Sixth, it’s not healthy.
Seventh, pleasing people doesn’t make any difference from a pet.
Eighth, what’s the point? Better question your motive of wanting to please, maybe self-centeredness? Self-interest? Selfishness? due to love? attention? position? friendship? purpose? benefits?
Ninth, sometimes you please people because of idolness, idolness could lead to worshipping and praising the person. And remember we should only worship one GOD and all praise should only be to our one GOD.
Tenth, pleasing people is pleasing to GOD? remember HE is a very jealous GOD… c”,)

mahirap ba mag-forgive???

Its easy to say the word but hard to do… lalo na pag andun ka na sa situation… pag ikaw yung sinaktan at ginawan ng masama… but do you agree na not all people can forgive? Yeah may mga taong nagkikimkim ng sama ng loob at nag stay yung hurt and anger nila sa heart… they just don’t choose to forgive.. maybe pride? Maybe na-hurt sila sobra na kala nila yun na yun? Maybe hindi sila maka move on? Maybe inaantay nila yung tao na yun na mag ask ng apology? O maybe lahat yan nasa utak lang nila kaya hindi nila ma-forgive yung tao… can you forgive someone na hindi nag ask ng forgiveness?? Ako, I can.. hehe Alamo ba na peace of mind ang ma-feel mo pag nag forgive ka.. alam mo ba gaano kasarap matulog, kumain at mabuhay ng may peace of mind? Ang sarap ng life without a thought of anything bad or wrong.. its like living life and be ready to die anytime without worrying.. its like feeling the smile and the laugh from the heart… whole ang feeling… yah at first its hard to forgive someone na hindi nag ask ng apology.. but its up to you to live with the hurt and not move on.. pag hindi ka nag forgive aware ka ba na parang may kulang yung life mo? Yah kulang siya alamo bakit malayo si GOD eh.. I can’t explain paano ko eto nasasabi pero yun yung na-feel ko eh..maybe kase yung anger na nasa heart nag rooted ng revenge?? Or hatred?? Pero life won’t be fun pag hindi nag forgive eh.. kase parang nag stop yung time ko pag hindi ako nag forgive..eh iisipin ko nalang ganito… pag nag stop time ko.. yung tao na ba yun nag stop din ba time niya? Baka hindi.. pag nag apekto ako apektado din ba yung tao na yun? Probably hindi.. pag nagalit ako.. galit din ba yung tao na yun? More or less hindi.. pag inisip ko siya.. iniisip din ba niya ako? Malamang hindi.. madami pa.. see? Life stops, sino lugi? Ako… pag hindi ako nag forgive.. pag nasaktan tayo pwede natin isipin na talaga na life is unfair.. we can never do anything about that eh.. kase we don’t have the power to control… true naman talaga na life is unfair.. we just have to accept that it is reality.. masakit sa masakit masaktan.. but so what.. atleast you learn.. diba? Hehe and isipin mo nalang na atleast sure ka na tao ka.. may feelings ka.. hehe another do you agree na it takes time to forgive? Yeah ofcorse.. tao ka lang… but what’s important is you will end up forgiving. Normal lang isipin mo.. Why? What? How? Ka niya nasaktan o paano niya nagawa ang ganyan sayo… pero Alamo pointless yan eh… kase kahit gaano mo i-try intindihin, hindi mo maiintindihan agad, by time maiintindihan mo… plan and way yan ni GOD.. na maintindihan natin ang life at malaman ang purpose niya in everything… kilala mo ba kung sino pwede tumulong sayo mag forgive? Si GOD, lapit ka nalang sakanya, you can ask him many things… How? Why? And eventually you’ll realize ok ka na, and trusting everything to GOD …isipin mo ikaw ba walang sin? Wala ka ba kasalanan sa ibang tao? Sa family mo? Kay GOD? Hindi mo ba sila na-hurt? As in never? Meron diba? But si GOD nagawa ka niya i-forgive? Parents mo kahit gaano ka kasalbahe at kasama, mahal ka pa din nila.. ikaw, eh human ka lang din, why hindi mo ma-forgive kapwa mo? Alam mo ganun ka-sakit ma-feel na life is unfair? Why not try to be fair sa ibang tao para ma-feel nila ang fairness sa life from you? Kahit sayo life is unfair…malay mo ma-feel mo din yun…diba? Since hindi ka naman perfect… mag forgive ka .. pabayaan mo yung tao na naka hurt sayo, if hindi siya nag ask ng forgiveness sayo.. or what.. so what.. hindi lang siya tao sa mundo.. hindi naman sakanya umiikot buhay mo eh.. importante masaya ka, may peace of mind at maisip mo na may mga tao pa around you… and most of all you know how to fear GOD kaya nagawa mo mag forgive .. hehe

A morning full of love…

The day today is beautiful… its like a sunshine after the rain hehe ewan ko basta pag ka gising ko ngayon umaga kahit na im sick pa din, yung fever ko hindi pa magaling, yung feeling na full of energy and so inlove hehe parang ang happy ng day ko today na parang ang sarap i-start ng day at tapusin ng full of moments.. I don’t know.. basta.. im feeling happy na parang inlove.. eh im am not inlove naman sa isang human or to anyone… im not seeing anyone.. im not getting to know someone… im not looking at someone din.. iba lang yung feeling hehe parang feeling na may howe ako today at first day namin na kami… hahaha well thank GOD that HE have given me a beautiful day today hehe maybe baka eto yung feeling having a very very deep talk with GOD before I go to sleep kanina hehe.. I prayed about sa mga clients ko na maka benta ako na i-softened niya yung heart nila to buy and sa will niya na guy for me… hay.. hindi ko nga alam kung tama ba yung naiisip ko na will niya na guy for me.. kase feeling ko kilala ko na kung sino yun.. kaso siyempre si GOD lang talaga nakakaalam kung sino ba talaga hehe.. malay ko mali pala ako sa akala ko nanaman hehe hindi naman nanliligaw yung tao sakin na yun.. hindi din naman sa hindi ko siya type, hindi ko din naman siya mahal… pero feel ko siya na kase parang perfect and right lang siya for me hehe kung sino man yung guy na feeling ko siya na… SECRET… hahahaha ewan nakaka loka… si GOD talaga nilalagyan niya ng excitement and trill buhay ko hahahaha

no regrets..

The past weeks I just realized something…
I’ve been in a boy and girl relationship for 3 times… a happy and sad relationship.. which people says ended up with nothing… they all 3 have done me wrong… they all 3 have hurt me… but… I can still say that they all 3 are a good person… have loved me purely, have leaved me with good and happy memories and taught me the teachings of love…
I always knew this realization that hopefully it would stuck up in my mind for good.. that I won’t happen to forget na… hehe I realize na not only them did me wrong.. I also do… I have also hurt them… things in life should not be always blamed to others… sometimes even if it hurts, we must not forget that we also need to accept that surely in the process we have done something wrong… I realize that maybe kaya hindi din nag work yung relationdsip.. maybe because somehow somewhat naging childish me, im too dominant and aggressive, too bossy and demanding, hard to handle person.. hehe even if Im truly sweet and caring to them. I realized that I have to change this attitude of mine… before involving myself again in a relationship… And also have a Christian guy… a true one.. okey….!!! Hehe see??? The past 3 relationships of mine is not totally nothing… because I came to the point where I learned how to be humble enough to accept my faults and change them eventually.. hopefully.. hehe Hey, its painful to be separated with the one you love ah… everytime you fail you’ll learn how to be matured enough to accept and put all the trust in GOD to be whole again and feel alive again… isa pa.. learn that human love perishes and vanishes… but GOD’s love… never… its so pure and true… can you see how GOD’s plan works??? It is HIS will… HE made me feel the past relationship to be happy full of love and turned it into failure so that someday I can be better in it... hehe Oh GOD you’re works are full of mystery hehe

Life is unfair…indeed….

Last Sunday a topic came up, I and my friends had a discussion over this matter…
I gave an example…
I said.. what If 2 matured Christian friends of ours got together and become husband and wife… They lived together and had children… their family became a good example of a Christian family… what if 30 years after the guy committed a sin.. he had an affair with a woman.. so he committed adultery, what if the guy accidentally got this woman pregnant and had a baby.. what would be the case now? How we friends of this guys would react?
A friend of mine answered…
HE: the wife have to forgive and accept..
I: that’s unfair.. it’s hard
HE: its really painful and hurtful… but in a Christian family you have to accept and forgive…
I: how about sa church?
HE: he will put to church discipline, after makakabalik naman siya if he repent and pag naayos na, and also everyone sa church will forgive… kailangan lang niya ma-discipline kase baka may ma-stumble na believer…
I: ok, but how about us his friends? Talk to him?
HE: he said yes and forgive
I: ok, e his image? Chaka kung ako yun mag iiba tingin ko talaga sakanya
HE: wala na tayo magagawa diyan…

Then again I stated an example that I am trying to connect with the situation of this husband…

What if this guy friend of mine who I am talking to this Sunday has no girl friend yet, and he is to choose between the ladies around to be a candidate of courtship.. I ask what if a single parent young lady once made a mistake and had a child, na-church discipline na siya and naka balik na din sa church, she is forgiven by all she has repented…so the question is this magiging candidate pa ba siya sa for you future wife?
HE: no!!
I: why? People forgive her na…the church forgive her na… and when we forgive we forget the mistake na ginawa ng tao right? So hindi na count yung nag ka mistake niya diba?
HE: may choice ka naman eh, and I choose not
I: eh bakit mali ba na maging choice siya?
HE: yes!
I: why? So you mean hindi ka nag forgive?
HE: sabi sa bible.. mga widow hindi na pwede mag asawa
I: saan? Eh sabi sa bible, pwede pa kaya.. chaka hindi naman siya widow, single parent
HE: widow yun… basta hindi na siya candidate for marriage

then he said
HE: Life is unfair MJ alamo ba yun?
I: Yeah I know life is unfair…I strongly agree with that…

Then we pause….

HE: did I answer you question??
I: I think so…

It’s the sad realization of life… that LIFE is UNFAIR… and I am always a witness to that… because I have always live my life full of pain, sufferings, and unfairness from others… but still I am happy and glad.. I stumble in life, do mistake, do bad and learn from them, people do me wrong, meet people who would hurt me… but with all of this I learned a lot.. become more and more knowledgeable and full of wisdom, all of this is bringing me closer and closer to GOD, I can say that I am living a life…a real life…a life as real as GOD… and still I would want to praise GOD that HE have given me this gift of life… that no one could ever imagined.. not everyone are given the chance to have a miserable yet very very colorful moments in life… Thank you GOD… And I love you…

The patient and the old man

If given the situation…you only have to help one… what would you do???

You met two different strangers both are poor and in need of help…who would you help??

First situation:
The first person… is a patient in the hospital.. about in late 40’s or early 50’s of age… she got a family.. they are poor. she is in need of financial support for medication… but you happen to know the character and attitude of this patient…she hated GOD for giving her this situation… she curse GOD.. she is also a bad towards others… she steal… she sell lust… and more….
The second person… is an old man.. who work hard everyday… making pamaypay which he weave with all his heart, bring it to Divisoria, hanging the pile of pamaypay around himself, staying under the sun and sell it for a very cheap amount 20pesos each earning little in order to support his family…it also happen that you know this person character he is a good person, he praises GOD even given this situation, he don’t ask for alms, he works with his sweat and blood but obviously this man also need financial help…
ME: I would want to help the old man instead…
YOU??? And why?

Second situation:
The first person… is a patient in the hospital.. about in late 40’s or early 50’s of age… she got a family.. they are poor. she is in need of financial support for medication… but you happen not to know anything about this patient…
The second person… is an old man.. who work hard everyday… making pamaypay which he weave with all his heart, bring it to Divisoria, hanging the pile of pamaypay around himself, staying under the sun and sell it for a very cheap amount 20pesos each earning little in order to support his family…it also happen that you also don’t know this person character or attitude but obviously this man also in of need financial help…
ME: Still the old man…
YOU??? And why?

The love of money is the root of all evil.... story one

How could he claim that he is a GOD fearing person, if all he love is money?? I knew a person na ganyan..sad at medyo complicated yung situation na hindi ko ma-kwento yung whole story… anyway matagal na siyang Christian…sa pag claim niya na Christian siya that he really feared GOD… at first mataas talaga tingin ko sakanya.. I respect this person kase akala ko mabait siya purely.. but tao pala talaga nag iiba by time and pag dating sa usapan ng pera…lumalabas mga horns nila… nagiging selfish.. uncontiously nakakahurt na sila ng ibang tao at nakaka pag pahirap na sila ng buhay ng ibang tao.. pero akla pa din nila tama ginagawa nila…may nag sabi that he and she wants revenge.. labanan daw mag higanti the way they know how…but I stand and correct them and say no!! just stand still and be idle about the situation… let them do what they want to do.. kung sobra na siyang sama.. let them.. they are knowledgeable enough to know na ginagawa nila tama or mali… and they claim to be a believer… minsan, before… nagrevenge kayo sa gantong gantong ginawa din nila… sino talo…in the end kayo din… so why bother… sabi ko just trust GOD may mata naman siya eh.. HE is not blind not to know… nakikita niya ang tama at mali.. and I know that HE won’t allow people like this to live smoothly in life without punishment… HE is a fair GOD… and HE punishes those who sins.. always remember that life is like a round ball… sometimes your on the top sometimes your on the bottom…and all the things that we do, have consequences… either rewards or punishment… just remember live your life in full trust of the LORD our GOD.. HE knows best.. just trust…