Talk about pain?
Who said I don’t know pain…?
I once felt numb… because my entire nervous system choose
not to function..
One month before Sept 22, 2013 I was already excited,
because I am invited in a wedding, of my dearest love… the guy I loved, waited
and fought for too long..
I was so excited what to wear on his special day, I want to
look good and pretty, because I am happy for him..
I am happy for him, because that’s the only best choice I have
Few days before the Big day, I hesitated to attend, but
almost all my girl friends told me to attend..
On the big day, inside the lower sanctuary of the church, I saw
him then I wave my hand and told him congrats “Ahya” now I call him ahya (brother)
again…no choice
When the ceremony started, the lights turned off, I can only
see three person inside that sanctuary
The groom, The bride and Me.
I was paused for a moment, a familiar song…I heard my dream
song, the song that he once dreamt of singing to me..
Everything seems perfect for the bride, my dream groom,
dream song and dream event… only that the bride wasn’t me..
I was just silent the whole time… cant believe that the best
thing I can do is just be silent.. and be happy for him… part of watching the
ceremony, felt that my treasure was there being given to someone..
I want him to be married, because he is of age… sadly, he
was, but not to me..
I again hesitated to attend the reception… but again my
friends supported me and told me it was the best..
All I did, all I chose to do was the best… the best for him,
the best last few things I can do for him..
during the reception, I was okey, I was calm, I enjoyed my
food.. everything in me was and looks fine… except my internal organs they don’t
lie, seems like I cant control my internal organs… my stomach started to
produce lots of acid…and I went ot the bathroom for a long time… trying to hide,
I don’t want to make a scene..ofcors…
I was able to arrive home and survived the day..
Whew!
